7 Reasons

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  • 7 Reasons That Christopher Walken is Great.

    7 Reasons That Christopher Walken is Great.

    Christopher Walken

    1.  Hair. Christopher Walken’s hair is amazing, it’s thick, lustrous and full.  It’s always slightly odd though.  It’s never styled in a way that anyone would choose to have their hair done.  Have you ever heard anyone ask their hairdresser for “a Walken”?  Of course you haven’t.  To strengthen his hair, he pulls it for ten minutes per day.  Christopher Walken’s hair is strong.  And weird.  Christopher Walken’s hair is probably the only thing that can beat Chuck Norris in a fight.

    2.  He’s funny.   Christopher Walken is hilarious. Watch this.

    3.  The Deer Hunter. Christopher Walken is amazing in The Deer Hunter, managing to outshine both Robert De Niro and Meryl Streep – he even holds his own when performing next to John Cazale, which is the best any actor can hope for.  He looks like an angel in the early stages of the film, which makes his eventual descent into despair and ultimate disintegration all the more poignant and harrowing.  He actually spat in De Niro’s face in one scene, which came as quite a surprise to a furious De Niro.  That’s brave.   Christopher Walken is so good in The Deer Hunter that they should have given him more than one Best Supporting Actor Oscar for it.   At least three…no, four.

    4. He’s a betty. It’s beginning to look like 7 Reasons(.org) has a bit of a man-crush on Christopher Walken.  We should point out that ladies like him too.  We have shown this clip to ladies and ladies have told us that he is a betty, which is a good thing, apparently.

    5.  Bond. In View to a Kill, Christopher Walken was the best Bond villain ever, playing a Nazi-eugenics-created psychopath who, when he wasn’t giving drugs to horses or sleeping with Grace Jones, spent his time cruising the San Francisco Bay area in his dirigible, hurling businessmen into the sea.  During filming of View to a Kill, Roger Moore had to have his hair thickened every day.  Christopher Walken did not.

    6.  The Watch. Pulp Fiction is a fantastic film, containing many fine actors and performances.  Here’s how Walken totally steals the show during his four minutes on screen.

    7.  Delilah. We genuinely believe that this is what goes on in Christopher Walken’s head.

  • Special Guest Post : 7 Reasons Why I Won’t Write A $15 Blog

    Special Guest Post : 7 Reasons Why I Won’t Write A $15 Blog

    Sometimes at 7 Reasons(.org), we like to look at what other people are writing, especially when they’re using the same format as we are.  We were delighted to find this piece by Carol Tice via Twitter.  We were even more delighted when she agreed that we could post in on our website.  We just hope you don’t expect writing of this standard every day.

    Recently, I had a disturbing week looking for freelance writing gigs. I concentrate on applying for jobs where one of my areas of specialized knowledge is required, because I know there’s lots of lowball pricing for general topics. Surely, they can’t get a student, Third-World resident, or wannabe writer to write about arcane legal areas or variable annuities, so rates there should still be a living wage – or so I thought.

    One week, I applied for several legal writing gigs. Two of them got back to me. One paid $20-$40 per 400-600-word article. The other, an agency which claims it has more than 200 law-firm clients, paid $15-$30 a blog. This second guy had called on the phone and was clearly serious about hiring, unlike the many flaky email nibbles I get off resumes I send.

    After I informed him that I did not work for remotely those rates and hung up…I thought about it a lot. I wish I had kept him on the phone so I could have asked this recruiter some questions. 

    Questions like, “Are you serious?” and “Is that even legal?” and “Do you actually find qualified people willing to write legal content at those rates?” and “Don’t you feel ashamed to be offering what will work out to less than the minimum hourly wage (more than $8 here in Washington State) for a very specific writing skill that requires years of experience?” 

    He let me know his current team was “pretty maxed out” – yeah, I’ll bet. More likely that was code for “It’s really hard to find anyone who can do this work competently at these rates.” To which I say, good.

    I thought a lot about this call because for a tiny moment, just an instant really, I considered taking this gig. Legal is easy for me…OK, I’d have to work a LOT of hours to make it into anything like a living…if each blog took an hour, it would take me all day and night to earn something like my normal hourly rate…but this firm has a lot of clients I could connect with. Maybe I should take this and hope to build the account into some better-paying work.

    Then I snapped out of it, and wrote this:

    7 Reasons Why I Won’t Write A $15 Blog

    1. I’d rather quit writing. If that’s all I’m going to make, I’d rather go out on the lawn and play Frisbee with my kids. They’ll only be young once. If I can’t really pay the bills writing, I should pack it in and enjoy life.

    2. I won’t be part of the problem. I won’t contribute to the current downward spiral in pay rates by accepting insulting pay. If I accept this kind of work, it reinforces the idea that high-quality content on specialized topics can be obtained from professional writers at one-tenth or less of what was, until recently, market rates. I refuse to be part of the problem.

    3. Low paying work begets more low-paying work. Say I worked for this legal content sweatshop, and managed to convince one of their clients to work for me directly. Even if the connection helped me land other clients and I cut out the middleman, I’m doubtful the wages would be appropriate. Any client I got through my association with this low-payer would likely also want to pay me joke wages. Once customers have the impression you’re cheap, it’s hard to convince them that you’re not.

    4. I’d rather get a day job. At those rates, I could make more money as an assistant manager at a fast-food place, and work on that novel in my off hours. So if it comes to it, I’ll do something else to pay the bills. My creativity will be fairly compensated, or I’ll earn money another way. I type fast – I have made a living as a secretary in the past, and could again.

    5. I want to take a stand. I believe we’re at a turning point in the world of online content that requires taking a moral stand. Thousands of scam operators have flooded into the marketplace, hoping to get writers to write for peanuts and then either resell the work for much more, or sell ads against them and make much more, or sell their whole Web site to someone else and make a killing – all off our backs. What they’re doing is morally wrong. So my basic sense of decency and justice demands that I resist exploitation. Accepting low-pay assignments may pay a few bills in the short term – emphasis on a few – but in the long term it will foster more exploitation. That’s why, for the sake of our vocation’s future, it’s important to refuse.

    6. I have good-paying clients. I’ve been afraid to say this out loud for fear of jinxing it – but I still have some very good-paying work. Contrary to what you may have heard, there are still magazines and corporate accounts out there that understand that writers who freelance need to make an appropriate wage, or they’ll soon leave the vocation and be unavailable to create the content clients need to keep growing. Maybe there are fewer of them, but I know they still exist. That knowledge makes it easier to turn down slave-wage gigs. 

    7. Market forces will raise rates in time. As the economy improves, I believe the pool of good freelancers who can deliver sophisticated, quality content is going to shrink dramatically as many find new jobs. Then rates will naturally be driven back up as it becomes harder to find qualified writing help. I know writers who are already getting jobs in other fields. The fact that Demand Studios recently announced a plan to offer some of its writers health care is a sign that we’ve hit the saturation point. These sweatshops are struggling to attract the talent they need, and that their compensation is going to start to improve. 

    While professionals from other fields who want to write articles to market their services will always be around, and won’t care how little such articles pay… there aren’t enough pro writers who’ll take these rates to go around. So rates are going to rise.

    I believe this is not a new normal – this is a momentary market glitch in our industry that’s taken root due to the downturn. Meanwhile, people are not going to stop reading quality publications, and companies will still need to communicate clearly with their customers in the future. The economy will recover, most content-mill writers will probably get jobs and leave, and rates will rise.

    The only way to stop the exploitation is for professional writers to say “no” to insultingly low rates. I’m willing to be the first writer to publicly stand up and do that. Will you join me? If so, sign the petition on my Web site and pledge never to work for less than $50 an assignment. The first step in bringing more power to writers is to organize. 

    Why $50? That’s what I got paid per article when I first started out in 1999. Rates shouldn’t be lower now, accounting for inflation. So I think that’s a good cutoff. 

    Who knows? Maybe Lance Armstrong or Amazon.com (have you seen their mill, Amazon Mechanical Turk?) would improve their pay rather than face public embarrassment over their rates. 

    If we pull together, we could create that public pressure. Maybe the number of clients for these mills could be decreased if we raised public awareness of the situation. That would grow the pool of better-paying markets for freelancers to approach on their own and lessen the profiteering mill owners are currently able to do off writers’ labor.

    Want to quit the content mills and learn how to make a good living writing? I mentor a maximum of three writers a month and teach them how to earn more. Also hoping to complete my e-book shortly on this topic, Make a Living Writing — if you’re interested in a copy, email me and I’ll put you on the list to get a notice when it comes out.

    Carol Tice is an experienced reporter, copywriter and blogger whose work has appeared in Entrepreneur magazine, the Seattle Times, and many others. Contact her at [email protected] or follow her on Twitter @TiceWrites.  You can read the original posting of this article – and some very interesting comments – here, and check out more of her work here.

  • 7 Reasons You Should Wear A Tie

    7 Reasons You Should Wear A Tie

    Jennifer Aniston Tie

    1. It’s Smart. A tie creates a good first impression. Whether you are are going for an interview or taking that rusty bike to the skip, you should always wear a tie. It is much easier saying goodbye to the rusty bike with a tie on. It feels more like a funeral.

    2. It’s Sexy. As Jennifer Aniston aptly demonstrates for us, a woman in a tie can be quite lovely. You turn up to an interview like that and you will get that job. You better just hope they don’t give you a complimentary pencil sharpener. Where are you going to put it?

    3. It’s Fashion. You may not have heard about it yet, but 2010 is going to be the year of the tie-pyjama combo. That’s right, people are going to start wearing their tie in bed. It’s going to be the ‘must do’ activity so you should probably start now. Pyjama parties will never be the same again.

    4. It’s You. The way you wear a tie says a lot about you. Just think of Rambo. The colour also says what type of person you are. Blue indicates a caring and humorous nature. Red shows passion and fire. Black denotes serious intent. Yellow with green dots suggests colour blindness. So remember, ‘Whatever message you want to get across, say it with a tie’. (That’s a great line and now the copyright of Jonathan Lee).

    5. It’s Food. A tie is the only piece of clothing that it is acceptable to be seen chewing on. It is to apparel what the biro is to stationary. And of course you are not actually eating the tie, you are just sucking out all the nutrients. It is much healthier than a Snickers bar and does count as one of your ‘five-a-day’.*

    6. It’s Useful. Why do you think James Bond always wears a tie? It’s because he never knows when he is about to be attacked. (Between you and me, I don’t know why he just doesn’t read the script. That way he could catch a different cable car than the bad guy. But anyway, he has a tie so it doesn’t really matter I suppose). James Bond and bad guy are in the same cable car. Bond left his gun under some French fancies pillow so he is both unarmed and knackered from all the fancying. Suddenly the cable car comes to an abrupt halt because bad guy’s mate has pressed the ‘off’ button. Bad guy whips out his gun but before you can say, ‘Bloody Hell Girlfriend! Bond is in a spot of bother here.’ Bond has electrocuted bad guy using the latest iPhone app and is whizzing down the cable hanging onto his tie. Genius.

    7. It’s Clever. The tie was invented for one purpose and one purpose only. Everything else you have read are simply unforeseen bonus features. The one reason a tie was invented was because it is very clever at covering up jam stains on your shirt. Everyone drops jam on their shirt in the morning and it always lands right in line with the sternum. That can’t be covered with a jacket. A tie is your hero. And in the unusual occurrence that the jam stain is just off centre, well you wear a crooked tie.

    *This is a lie.

  • 7 Reasons to go to The Cinema

    7 Reasons to go to The Cinema

    cinema

    1.  You are a basketball scout. Where better to find abnormally tall people to play in your team?  They’re always at the cinema, usually in the seat immediately in front of you.

    2.  Gauge your normality. When, during the scalping scenes in Inglourious Basterds, the rest of the audience are gasping, groaning, covering their eyes and looking away while you’re grinning and thinking, “Cool!” you learn that there is probably something wrong with you.   And by “you”, I really mean me.

    3.  Bladder testing. Have you ever worried that you have a weak bladder?   Go to the cinema.  You’ll soon realise that it’s stronger than you think when you have to stand up to let the same man through three times during a ninety minute film.   Obviously, if you’re the man went to the loo three times, you have serious bladder problems, please stay away from the cinema.

    4.  Be cool. In my experience, there’s nowhere better to discover the latest, most fashionable, ringtones than when watching a film at your local cinema.  Going to the cinema helps you to stay down with the kids.  Innit.

    5.   Sound. Cinemas have the most amazing surround sound systems, with speakers mounted everywhere and subwoofers the size of Highland cows.   The sheer mind-boggling array of whooshing noises in the cinema is worth the admittance price alone.   And that’s just low-budget independent art films.   Hollywood blockbusters have ninety times as much whooshing and the full panoply of rumbling too.   All the way from deep rumbling that makes your stomach hurt through to slightly less deep rumbling that makes your teeth hurt.  Brilliant.

    6.  Popcorn. Popcorn costs a small fortune, has the texture of polystyrene chips and the flavour of a cardboard box.  It is served in a bucket.  How superior do you feel when watching your fellow cinema-goers consume it?   It’s a shame you can’t bottle that feeling.

    7.  Peace and quiet. Sometimes it’s hard telling people to stop talking, that you’d just like some peace and quiet.   Saying “I don’t care what happened in the office, please stop bothering me with the minute by minute account of your day” makes you appear mean and there are often recriminations.   If you take that person to the cinema, someone else will raise their finger to their lips and say “Shh!” so that you don’t have to.   It’s always woman in her fifties that does this.  No one knows why.

  • 7 Reasons Andrew Strauss Should Win Sports Personality of the Year

    7 Reasons Andrew Strauss Should Win Sports Personality of the Year

     

    ©SarahCanterbury
    Andrew Strauss ©SarahCanterbury

    1.  Mess.  At the start of the summer the England cricket team was in a mess. They were a team still reeling on the back of coach-captain issues and defeat to the West Indies. Not a productive environment to be in. But somehow Strauss led them out of the darkness and into the light. From zeros to heroes. From ashes to, erm, Ashes.

    2.  Form.  The general rule with captains, and certainly English captains, is that when you take over, your form dips. No matter how good Nasser Hussain and Michael Vaughan were as captains, they weren’t the same players. And to be fair neither is Strauss. Unlike messrs. Hussain and Vaughan though, Strauss has improved his game. He has been unstoppable in his pursuit of runs. Not just in Tests, but also in the ODI format. A format he supposedly couldn’t perform in. He has bucked the trend to spectacular effect.

    3.  Team.  Not only did Andrew Strauss have to lead himself, he had to lead a team. That’s another ten people to motivate, stimulate and berate. The other contenders this year only had number one to look after. Button. Tweddle. Ennis. They had it easy. Andrew Strauss should probably win SPOTY multiple times over.

    4.  ICC Muppetry.  For some bizarre reason Mitchell Johnson was named 2009 ICC Cricketer of the Year. Did the board not watch the Ashes? Johnson was owned by Strauss. How can someone who owns someone lose out to the person they own? It’s a bit like me beating my Mum to the 2009 Ironer of the Year. Just nonsense. SPOTY will go some way to make up for this. (Strauss losing out to Johnson I mean, not my Mum losing out to me. That never happened).

    5.  Formula One Factor.  Jenson Button was great this year. I very much enjoyed watching him rule. However, he shouldn’t win. Lewis Hamilton won the F1 Championship last year and he was the SPOTY runner-up. It is only right that the same happens to Jenson. Next year Lewis and Jenson will almost certainly be in the same team. Whichever one wins the World Championship can be SPOTY 2010. Fair and simple.

    6.  Compton Miller.  Andrew Strauss won the Compton-Miller medal this year. The Compton-Miller medal. The name just exudes greatness. Anyone who has a medal that exudes greatness should win a large trophy in the shape of a TV camera.

    7.  Personality.  The whole personality bit of SPOTY annoys me. You can be sure that, the day after SPOTY, people will be moaning about the fact that the winner doesn’t have a personality. Of course they bloody don’t. They are not supposed to. They spend every hour of every day focusing on being the best in their field. They don’t have time to have a personality. Interestingly though, Andrew Strauss has one. I know this because he calls people dude. Only people with personality call others dude.

  • 7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shave (for men).

    7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Shave (for men).

    Thinking of shaving?  Don’t bother, it’s a pointless waste of time and your life will be improved by not doing it.  Here’s why:

    1.  You are on the run. No one that goes on the run shaves.  Saddam Hussein – Beard.  Radovan Karadzic – Beard.  Harrison Ford in The Fugitive – Beard.  I don’t know why the authorities don’t draw beards on wanted posters.  Fugitives always stop shaving.  Why not just round up all bearded men?  They did it.

    2.  Christmas. You are a portly man with white facial hair.  Of course you shouldn’t shave before playing Santa.  Children will inevitably pull your beard.   If your beard should come off in a child’s hand, they will learn in a shocking and traumatic manner that Father Christmas isn’t real.  Not only will you have ruined Christmas for them, you will have broken the sacred bond of trust between a young child and society.  Eventually, disillusioned, the child will withdraw from society, becoming a loner, a sociopath and, in adulthood, a criminal.  Their criminality will escalate until they commit a crime so heinous that they will be forced to become a fugitive and stop shaving.  This will be your fault.   All because you shaved.  You bastard, Santa!

    3.  Skinny jeans. You wear skinny jeans and a plaid shirt.  No one that wears skinny jeans and a plaid shirt shaves.

    4.  You are a Nazi. None of the crew of a U-boat shave at sea, so they end up with beards at a similar stage of development.  We have learned from movies that the more ardent a Nazi the submarine’s Political Officer is, the poorer and sparser his beard growth is.  This makes him appear less masculine than the rest of the crew and marks him out for ridicule.  Not shaving helps fight Fascism.

    5. Turkish barber. You shouldn’t shave if you live near a Turkish barber.  If you did, you miss out on the pleasure of having someone else shave you.  Who’d want to forgo the experience of having a middle-aged man – shaking and hyperactive from far too much strong coffee – holding a cut-throat razor to your jugular and gesticulating wildly, millimetres from your face, while he asks you where you’re going on holiday this year?  Then he sets your ears on fire.  You’d miss that if you shaved.

    6.  Shaving is boring. Scraping your face every day is mind-numbingly tedious, in fact, shaving is the second dullest experience known to man.   Why not stop?  Then you’d have more time to paint that fence or read this website.  The dullest experience known to man is thinking about Celine Dion while shaving, in case you were wondering.

    7.  Stubble. If you don’t shave, you get stubble.  Stubble is brilliant.  Stubble is manly.  Stubble  makes a noise when you scratch it – a noise!  How cool is that?  Stubble makes you look like Don Johnson.  Stubble irritates your wife.  Stubble is a facial badge of freedom.  Stubble is a bridge between your hair and your face.  Stubble prevents you from resembling an accountant.  Don’t shave.  Get stubble.

  • 7 Reasons For 7Reasons.org

    7 Reasons For 7Reasons.org

    1.  Enjoyment. We’ve been running our 7 Reasons blog for a while now.  We really enjoy it, and other people have been enjoying it too.  We want to keep on enjoying.

    2.  The name. The blog was called 7reasons-sevenreasons.blogspot.com as this was the best name we could get on Blogger.  That’s a seriously rubbish name, it’s totally unmemorable and we want to make a 7Reasons.org mug.  If we’d made a 7reasons-sevenreasons.blogspot.com mug it would be huge and useless for drinking coffee from. Its size would mean that it was only suitable for the sort of unsophisticated chap who thinks that drinking an enormous quantity of tea is a good idea.

    3.  Help. 7 Reasons is basically a self-help guide, so people deserve to find it.  The catchy new name should help them do this.  It’s help (non-self).

    4.  Blogger. We had quite a few issues when using Blogger as a host.  We would often discover that when we viewed our meticulously crafted posts on the blog, that they had been re-spaced and re-sized, that the font style had changed with bold type often randomly added.  We found that undoing this was rather tricky and time-consuming.  We also found that it was often difficult to log in.  On the day that we launched the blog, for example, neither of us could log in to post our debut list.  This sort of thing was unacceptable and we hope that with our own site we can eradicate this sort of issue.  In fairness to Blogger, I should point out that their services are free and that the co-authors of this website both continue to host their personal blogs there.

    5.  New Stuff. Now that we have our own site, we have a huge scope for new functions and features.  We’re going to be tinkering and adding new stuff as we go along.  We’re not sure what yet, but it will be new and it will be stuff.  We’d love to hear suggestions.

    6.  Email. Our old email address was, like the old site name, large and unmemorable.  Our new email address is [email protected], which is a vast improvement.  Consequently, we expect to receive more emails from readers, with their suggestions for topics, for website features and functions and (we really hope this happens) complete 7 Reasons lists.  We know that you’re erudite and funny, we read the comments.  Why not have a go yourself?

    7.  The World. Hitler wanted to take over the world, we do too.  We see this as the next stage in our quest for world domination.  7 reasons that Marc and Jon should run the world, there’s an idea…

  • 7 Reasons Why Songwriting Is Easy

    7 Reasons Why Songwriting Is Easy

    1.  Tackle Dangerous Ground. You can take two areas that should just not work together, i.e.: sex and fire, and merge them. You couldn’t show two people having a fondle on a bonfire in a TV show, but you can write a song called Sex On Fire and it’s fine.

    2.  Huge Creative License. You can call something something when it’s not actually that something. Alanis Morissette’s Ironic for example. “It’s like rain on your wedding day.” This is not ironic. It’s unlucky. Or to be expected if you book your wedding for a Tuesday afternoon in January. It always rains on a Tuesday afternoon in January.

    3.  Endorse Nonsense. You can write things that don’t make sense and never will make sense. Yet listeners will spend ages being confused by them. “Are we human or are we dancer?” I haven’t got a clue what Brandon Flowers is on about. And are the two things really mutually exclusive? Can’t we be a human who dances? Or is he suggesting we’re puppets? I am no puppet Flowers. I’m going to go and listen to Coldplay.

    4.  Lack Genius. You can be a simpleton and write a song. No offence to Lady Gaga, but I am pretty sure I came up with the lyrics to Bad Romance when I was about two months old. “Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roma-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la! Want your bad romance.” Just shut up you silly, silly woman.

    5.  Promote Drugs. You can tell people what it’s like to be addicted to drugs and, in the process, make it sound awesome. “We skipped a light fandango. Turned cartwheels cross the floor. I was feeling kind of seasick. But the crowd called out for more.” Whatever Procol Harum were on, I want some.

    6.  Promote Drugs. You can tell people what it’s like to be addicted to drugs and, in the process, make it sound bloody awful. “I am the eggman. They are the eggman. I am the walrus. Goo Goo g’joob.” Whatever The Beatles were on, I don’t want to go anywhere near it.

    7.  Promote Sex. And more to the point, promote extramarital sex. All you have to do is write the lyrics in French and get the singer to have an orgasm at the end of the song. Then Bingo! There is your hit. Between you and me I think Jane Birkin was faking it though. Je vais et je viens, entre tes reins.

  • 7 Reasons You Will Win The Pub Quiz

    7 Reasons You Will Win The Pub Quiz

    1.  You know that in 1975 there was a number one single whose title wasn’t in the lyrics. Bohemian Rhapsody. And you know this was replaced at number one by the song whose title was a lyric in Bohemian Rhapsody. Mamma Mia.

    2.  You know which area of London has six consecutive consonants in its name? Knightsbridge.

    3.  You know which member of your family is an anagram of ‘Woman Hitler’. Mother-in-law.

    4.  You know which Nobel Literature laureate wrote for the Dick Emery Show. Harold Pinter.

    5.  You know which country has won the most Wimbledon men’s singles title. Great Britain.

    6.  You know which two bands from the 60’s and 70’s are named after sperm. The Lovin’ Spoonful and 10cc.

    7.  Like me you have a copy of Esquire on your lap and are cheating. Not just everyone else but yourself. And you couldn’t care less.

  • 7 Reasons To Like Doors

    7 Reasons To Like Doors

    1.  The bedroom door.  No matter what age you are, whether you share it or are its sole occupant, your bedroom is a private place to do private things.  Whether you are a teenage boy practising your faces in the mirror, a thirty year old man playing World of Warcraft on his computer or a fully grown woman singing-along into her hairbrush, your privacy is protected by the door.  If it weren’t for the door your siblings, parents, children, housemates and curious pets would be free to spectate on, or join in with, your bedroom activities.  Hurrah for the bedroom door.

    2.  The bedroom door.  If there were no doors then your parents’ bedroom would be open.  There is nothing that happens in there that you should have to witness.  Nothing.  Not ever.  Never.  No.

    3.  Locks.  If there were no doors, there would be no door-locks.  They deter burglars, vandals, squatters and perverts from entering your house.  Also, the ability to retain keys is what separates us from the animals, and from my friend Rachel.

    4.  Slamming.  Slamming the door on your way out is like adding an exclamation-mark to a furious exit; without doors you’d have to shout “pow” or kick the wall.  This wouldn’t be as effective and you might feel silly.

    5.  The Doors.  Without doors, The Doors would have been called The, which would have been rubbish.  It would also have confused fans of The The – and me.

    6.  Knocking.  If there were no front doors, there would be nothing for the pizza-delivery-man to knock on and many Americans would starve to death…eventually.

    7.  The wardrobe door.  If there were no doors, your wardrobe would be open and the contents would be visible.  Is there a more effective way to repel a new lover than letting them glimpse the saggy jogging-bottoms and moth-eaten, bobbly cardigan that you wear around the house?  Without the wardrobe door, your new suitor would be able to see the future and you would be single forever.

    Leaving a comment is like providing a window to your soul.  We like windows.