Tag: 7 reasons

Guest Post: 7 Reasons Women Are Better Than Men

A few weeks ago we had Emily Clifford on our sofa showing us how it is done. Her post on reasons why men and women shouldn’t converse proved very popular – with women. Because we like women we thought we’d invite Emily back. Unfortunately she has gone AWOL in the Blue Mountains this weekend. Before she went though, she left a note for us under one of the sofa cushions. Jon’s side. It said if we wanted to continue the theme of making women feel superior to men we should speak to her sister. Well one thing led to another and before we knew where we were we found Natalie Clifford clawing at the sofa. We’ve allowed her to stay for the day in exchange for a hugely popular post about the brilliance of man. This is her effort. Oh dear.

1. Looks. It’s not my job to say who designed man and woman, but whoever it was clearly had a deadline and spent 97% of their time on the female body. And they have done a pretty good job with it. As for the man, well it looks as if they had a few left over bits and just cobbled it together. That penis thing. I don’t get how it could have gone so wrong.

2. Communication. Women are good at this as they can put words together to form sentences. Men are useless. Their favourite word is, “nothing”. As in, “What are you thinking about?”

3. Leaders. Men may like to think they are the head of the family but if they were why do they have to ask the woman to do something?

4. Multi-tasking. Men think multi-tasking is watching the football, drinking beer and looking after the remote control. In fact it is doing the ironing while cooking the dinner while helping son number one with his homework while telling son number two off for pulling daughter number one’s hair while she was asking mother if she could have a friend to play.

5. Better friends. When a man starts dating a woman, whose friends do they hang out with more? Yes, the woman’s. And when they get married, whose friends do they stay in contact with? Yes, the woman’s. Half the time a man’s friends don’t even know he has got married. They just think he went to the pub toilet five years ago and didn’t come back.

6. Memory. A woman can remember things like dates. And phone numbers. And names. And ages. And what school the children go to. And what the children’s names are. Men can’t even remember whether they wear glasses or not.

7. Vision. I am not sure what it is about men and their inability to see dust. I don’t adhere to the belief that they just can’t be bothered to clean, I honestly believe they are blind to dirt. Unless it’s on their shirt. In which case they give it to the woman to clean.

March 6, 2010
7 Reasons The New Radicals Should Have Done Their Research

1. Did the Captain of the Titanic cry? No he didn’t. In those days it was seen as a sign of weakness. Eye-witnesses have said he looked calm and in control. Which is quite impressive when you consider he had just smacked into an iceberg and ruined a brand new ocean liner.

2. One day I’ll go dancing on the moon. As good as You Get What You Give was, I doubt the royalties will get you to the moon. The Moon Bar in Nevada maybe, but not the moon. And dancing in gravity boots? By yourself? Seriously?

3. Someday we’ll know if love can move a mountain. No we won’t. We know now. It can’t. Only tectonic plates can do that stuff when they grind against each other rhythmically. And that is not love. It’s sluttish behaviour.

4. Someday we’ll know why the sky is blue. When light from the sun enters our atmosphere it collides with nitrogen and oxygen atoms. The colours with the shortest wavelength are scattered the most. Those colours are blue and violet. Our eyes are more sensitive to blue than violet. Thus we see the sky as blue. Next please.

5. Someday we’ll know why I wasn’t meant for you. You are a man. I am a man. You like girls. I like girls. It’s pretty straightforward.

6. I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow. Don’t tell me, you also gave some recently orphaned Nigerian your bank details? You’ve been conned. You should pay attention to internet scams more.

7. Someday we’ll know why Samson loved Delilah. Well who doesn’t? After It’s Not Unusual, it is Tom Jones’ finest song.

March 5, 2010
7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Share a Bed With Me

Hi, I’m Marc. I’m half of the 7 Reasons team – the one with the feet. Some of you probably imagine that after a long day on the 7 Reasons sofa, in the manner of Laurel and Hardy or Morecambe and Wise, Jon and I put on our jim-jams and nightcaps and retire to the 7 Reasons bed for some hard-earned slumber. This is not true, please un-think it. The reality is, in fact, more bizarre than that.

I would just like to make it clear that today’s 7 Reasons post is not 7 reasons that you shouldn’t share a bed with our website, and it isn’t 7 reasons that you shouldn’t share a bed with Jon (you’ll probably have your own reasons for that), it’s 7 Reasons that you shouldn’t share a bed with me – sorry if that upsets any plans.

1. Reading. I read in bed. My bedtime reading matter of choice is often a large, heavy, hardback biography or a similarly weighty historical tome. Consequently, holding a book tires my arms – especially when I’m fidgeting (I do a lot of fidgeting) between positions. At some point I will use the nearest person as a book-rest – their head is the most practical place to rest my book as it is at my eye-level. I’m told that this is annoying.

2. Decapitation. I like to have two pillows to myself – one placed on top of the other. In my struggle to get comfortable/block out sound/block out light/keep my head warm/move into the night’s eighty-third position, I often place my head between the pillows. I find this position comfortable. If you wake up sharing a bed with me, you will briefly believe that you are sharing the bed with a headless man. This will startle you. Every time.

3. Radio. I listen to the radio in bed – BBC Radio 5Live’s Up All Night programme – it keeps me informed, educated and entertained while I am failing to sleep. This is fine until 2:40am on Wednesdays. That’s when Cash Peters is on. That’s when the sound of my (poorly) stifled laughter will wake you up. You will probably wonder why tears are streaming down my face; you’re likely to wonder why I’m biting the duvet (this is for your benefit, you’re welcome); you may wonder if I’m having a funny turn; you will definitely wonder if the spare bed is unoccupied.

4. Soft toys. If I should find a cuddly-toy in, or even near, the bed, I feel compelled to tuck it in. If you are not expecting to wake up flanked by a slumbering bear, a recumbent penguin, a sleepy elephant or a dozing handbag (I get confused in the dark), it can be quite disconcerting.

5. Curling. Not everything I do in bed is annoying. I often curl up into a tiny ball under the covers. This hampers my breathing somewhat, so I fashion myself a small air-hole in the side of the duvet and poke my nose out through it. This, I am told, is one of the cutest things in the world. And it probably is, right up until you try to move my painstakingly-positioned sheets. Then you’ll find yourself involved in a life-and-death tussle for control of the duvet. And I always win.

6. Experimentation. During the night many important questions will pop into my head, prompting me to experiment on the nearest sleeping person. What if I poke my finger in her ear? What if I blow in her eye? What if I drip water on her forehead? What if I tie her hair to the headboard and shout “Boo!?” What if I loudly mimic her breathing pattern for several minutes then stop abruptly? What if I coo like a pigeon and flap the top of the duvet around? The possibilities are limitless.

7. Sleep. Eventually, I will wear myself out and fall asleep. Don’t think that’s where the fun ends though. It’s then that I think up entire 7 Reasons posts that make no sense at all and get chased around the house by a horse. As I flee the dream-horse my legs will flail and I may emit noises – I might even say, “Crikey, a horse!” again. I have also been observed barking like a dog and trying to dig a hole in the mattress with my front paws…er…hands. I meant hands. By this stage, you may not know what time it is, but you’ll probably decide that it’s time to get up, which is great as I’d love a coffee.

March 4, 2010
7 Reasons Jumping Up And Down In The Shower Is Silly

1. Ceilings. Showers generally have them. There is a reason for this. You don’t want to give plane users a good show do you? And if you do there are places for that sort of stuff. But I digress, smashing your head on the ceiling. Not clever.

2. Long hair. This mainly applies to girls and the French rugby team. Your long hair could quite easily get wrapped around the shower head. Then what are you going to do? Pulling is going to hurt. Scissors are rarely within reach. You are probably just going to have to stay there.

3. Slippery. Assuming you have actually switched the water on and you haven’t gone in the shower with your anti-slip hiking boots on, the tray isn’t going to be the safest place to jump around in. One false landing and there is no knowing where the soap may end up.

4. Design. A shower was simply not made to withstand the sheer force of someone jumping up and down in it. The tray will only take so much pounding before it cracks. And what with water being water and gravity being gravity, it isn’t going to be long before your lounge has a new water feature.

5. Sweat. Doing exercise, as jumping up and down in the shower could be classed as, produces sweat. The point of going into the shower is to get rid of stuff like sweat is it not? So jumping up and down in the shower is about as logical as taking your bike for a walk.

6. Muscle Injury. Generally speaking people do not warm-up before entering the shower. This means their muscles are cold. Contrary to popular opinion, getting under a hot shower doesn’t have the same effect as stretching. The pinging and twanging of hamstrings is only a matter of time away.

7. It looks weird. What? Do you really need me to explain why?

March 3, 2010
7 Reasons Australians Shouldn’t Make Television

1. The Weather. It must be quite easy to present the weather in Australia, it’s always “nice” there, so you probably don’t have to be too bright to do it. That would explain this weatherman being outwitted by a pelican then.

2. Wipeout Australia. In Britain, we have Total Wipeout, a programme in which pudgy, potato-faced middle-managers from Droitwich lumber around a ridiculous assault course. Wipeout Australia uses the same course, except everything is harder and the machines go at about five times the speed. The people they send around don’t seem any leaner or sportier though, that wouldn’t be any fun.

3. Skippy. In Britain in the ’60s, men whistled at attractive young women in mini-skirts. In Australia in the ’60s, they whistled at kangaroos. Still, they seem quite happy.

4. Advert. Halfway through, so it’s time for a break. Would you like one of these? It’s undetectable, you know.

5. Soaps. The bush, mushrooms, a mysterious pig, a flaming hand – it has to be a soap opera. Obvious, really.

6. Marriage. This sort of thing never happened on Richard and Judy.

7. The dream. Okay, you knew it had to turn up somewhere didn’t you? That classic Neighbours dream sequence which came out of left-field and astonished the audience. No, not that one, this one. The accents are spot on, by the way.

Okay, it’s time for an admission. I was wrong. All of this stuff is awful, yet somehow brilliant. I’ve had so much fun putting this post together that I’ve become convinced that Australians should make more television – perhaps even all of it. As long as I don’t have to watch Paul Hogan again I’d be quite happy. I might even buy a hairpiece.

March 2, 2010
7 Reasons The Voice Of The Tube Is Annoying

1. Fake Apologies. We Are Being Held At A Red Signal. We Apologise For The Delay. We? There is no we. You are a recorded voice. A recorded voice belonging to a woman who got paid to say it. No one who gets paid to apologise really means it.

2. Use Of Language. Alight Here. Who alights in this day any age? In fact who alighted in that day and age? No one alights. They hop off. Or jump off. Or barge past. Or miss their stop.

3. Vagueness. Alight Here For Museums. Any museum is that? I can alight at South Kensington for the Vatican City Tractor Museum can I? No, I can’t. I’ll tell you what I can alight at South Kensington for. That’s the Science Museum and the Natural History Museum and the V&A Museum. Tourists love me.

4. Stating The Bloody Obvious. Mind The Gap. A complete waste of oxygen this. We see gap, we avoid gap. We are not stupid. We do not have signs near rivers saying, ‘Use The Bridge’ do we? And doesn’t mind mean look after anyway? Why is it our job to look after the gap? If you ask me the gap seems perfectly capable of looking after itself.

5. Lack Of Consistency. So when we pull into South Kensington, we are told we could alight for museums. Although the Japanese don’t know what the museums are, it is quite useful information. When we pull into Embankment, we are told we can alight for ferries. Again useful. So why is it that when we pull up to Parsons Green, all we hear is, ‘The next station is Parsons Green’? Where is the additional information? Why shouldn’t people be told to ‘Alight here for Peter’s Fish Bar and the rather plush co-op’?

6. Out Of Touch. The voice of the tube is monotone. How the hell is it possible to sound just as cheery on a hot summers day pulling into Wimbledon as it is in the depths of winter in West Ham? I don’t want an impossibly happy voice telling me to alight at West Ham when it’s -5 and there is four foot of snow on the ground. In fact I don’t want a voice telling me to alight at West Ham full stop. It’s miles away from home and means I have got on the wrong tube. Again.

7. Lies. Change For The Circle Line? On a Sunday? I don’t think so.

March 1, 2010
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Great Britain is Better Than the United States of America

Today’s guest post comes courtesy of globe-trotting, observation-jotting, ale-totting, train-riding man of both style and substance, Simon Best. The last guest post that he wrote for us, 7 Reasons the United States of America is Better Than Great Britain, was such a success that Simon has come back to wholly contradict himself. Based on this evidence, it may appear to those who don’t know Simon, that he could start a fight in an empty room. This is not true. Simon is a pacifist and, as such, would probably give himself a stiff talking-to and then reconcile with himself over a nice cup of tea – which would also be the ideal accompaniment to this.

1. Tea. Quintessentially British. We displayed our attitude to tea by naming a type of tea after a nobleman, the Americans showed theirs by chucking box-loads into grimy water – without stopping to boil it first or add milk once it had brewed. This attitude has continued and most of the tea you find in America is herbal, fruity, decaffeinated and an abomination. Tea was what started the American war of independence, I know it led to the loss of a large colony but quite frankly, if they were prepared to do that with tea rather than sit down and have a chat over a cuppa then we’re better off without them. Fast food, instant coffee, drive-through restaurants, shock and awe – all American inventions and all about speed. In Britain we stop for tea. It’s an occasion and one the world’s only superpower could learn from. I think that pretty much every world problem could be solved by sitting down and talking over tea and cucumber sandwiches. President Obama take note, now you’ve won the Nobel Peace Prize you need to start having afternoon tea – it is the next step to world peace.

2. Language. The use of different phrases; trash can, for example, or parking lot is understandable and forgivable – after all, different parts of Britain use different words and phrases to refer to the same thing. What is not acceptable is spelling favourite without a ‘u’ or pronouncing ’herb’ as ‘erb’ unless they are talking about an elderly gentleman in a Hawaiian shirt. American readers, look at the word again – there is a letter ‘h’ at the front. Pronounce it. It really isn’t that difficult.

3. Cricket. America has three huge sports, and a few people play ice hockey too. American football, baseball and basketball are skilful and exciting sports. They even play football (or soccer) in America, and I’m not going to say anymore about that in case they beat England in the World Cup. What Americans don’t do is play cricket. I thought I didn’t need to say more than this, but I was told I couldn’t just stop there, so here goes; cricket is more stylish, more testing, requires greater all round ability, patience and superior tactics worked out with military precision – all of which can be thrown out by the weather. The closest America comes is baseball, which is essentially cricket for people with ADHD.

4. Monarchy. Having written this about a month ago I could reasonably be accused of treason against Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith. This reason isn’t an attempt to make amends for that because I’m not talking about the current royal family who, quite frankly, I have little time for. I know that Americans love our royal family, they loved Princess Diana so much that 64% of their citizens wanted to crown her Queen of Rhode Island*. However, I am talking about Kings and Queens past: Canute who demonstrated he was only human by proving to his subjects that he couldn’t turn back the sea, Alfred who inspired the invention of the oven timer, Henry VIII who (allegedly) wrote Greensleeves and Victoria who was grandmother to most of Europe’s monarchs at the time of World War I. Americans would love to have that kind of heritage.

5. Trains. I know First Capital Connect are rubbish and Southeastern Trains couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery, but the British rail network is infinitely better than that in America. Yes we have delays, and being sat for half an hour in a siding outside Grantham is frustrating, but when travelling in Britain I’ve never been delayed by 17 hours – as I was when on a train from New Orleans to Los Angeles. Americans claim to have conquered the West with the railroad, but modern trains and railways in America are rubbish; there are huge cities like San Francisco, Phoenix and Boulder, Colorado with no station. That’s like there being no station in Glasgow, Bristol or Cardiff. Services are also ridiculously infrequent; there is one train a day between Chicago and Los Angeles. Imagine missing the 16:04 from Paddington to Exeter and being told that the next train is at 10:37 tomorrow morning. In Britain we have bad railways and complain about them, giving us something to talk about. In America they have bad railways and fly everywhere.

6. Religion. Like the worst dinner party guest, I am going to address one of the subjects you are supposed to avoid in polite company. In Britain, religion is a nice add-on to life, a way of people coming together to eat scones and have jumble sales with a bit of (usually insipid) singing thrown in. It is comfortable, like a favourite cardigan or a pint of ale. In America, religion is full-on – fire and brimstone – like being forced to wear a hair shirt in 90 degree heat (which if you are Amish you probably are). Religion is still just as important to British people as it is to Americans – we just handle it better. We don’t care which church our politicians go to, or even if they go at all. We, rightly, have little interest in their Sunday morning activity (providing it doesn’t involve cruising on Clapham common or snorting cocaine with prostitutes). In America, the thought that an elected official might not be a regular churchgoer would be scandalous and there are frequent and heated debates about whether to allow prayers in state schools, or if it is ok to have the ten commandments on tablets of stone in a courtroom. In America, the separation of church and state has happened in law; in Britain, it has happened in reality.

7. Breakfast. America has perfected the breakfast egg, which is available in a bewildering variety of styles, but we have something wonderful over here; something that transcends mere bread, a brilliant, culinary exemplification of form following function and the perfect accompaniment to an egg – the toast soldier. Simple, tasty, ingenious; the toast soldier is guaranteed to enliven any eggy breakfast – it also turns up in time for the start of the breakfast, not several years after it has begun.

*This figure isn’t statistically verifiable.

February 27, 2010
7 Reasons That English Pronunciation is Difficult.

So, you want to learn English as a second language? Good idea. We’re here to help, so welcome to the 7 Reasons Language School. We’ll start things off simply, with a bit of pronunciation.

Lesson One: Pronouncing words that end with “ough”.

1. Through (throo). Okay, this is the first word you’ve seen that ends o-u-g-h. Now you know that “ough” can be pronounced “oo”. Simple.

2. Rough (ruff). You may imagine, based on the prior example that “rough” is pronounced “roo”. It isn’t, it’s pronounced “ruff”. This means that o-u-g-h is more complicated than you initially supposed. You’re probably thinking that “ough” must be pronounced “oo” if preceded by th, and “uff” if not preceded with th. That’s wrong, but we like your reasoning. Don’t worry, you’ll soon get the hang of it.

3. Dough (doe). Nope, it’s not pronounced “duff”, or even “doo”; it’s pronounced “doe”. That’s a third pronunciation of “ough” to remember. We realise that there’s no apparent pattern and that this English lark may be harder than you supposed, but do carry on. If small children can manage this, then so can you.

4. Plough (plow). Did we mention there’s a fourth pronunciation? I know it may seem a trifle excessive, but the English are aware that their language is sometimes illogical and impenetrable, and are tolerant of people’s attempts to learn it. We’re not the sort of people who will spit out warm beer and roll around the floors of our country pubs guffawing if you order a ploomans lunch. Oh no.

5. Lough (lock). Why is this word pronounced “lock”, but spelled l-o-u-g-h? Why isn’t it spelled l-o-c-k? Er…good questions. We’re not sure. Perhaps the Scots hate you too.

6. Cough (coff). Yes, that is a sixth way to pronounce the same thing. You may be thinking that learning Klingon would make more sense than this. It probably would, but then you’d have to converse about dilithium crystals and the climate of the planet Qo’noS with a man named Terry.

7. Hiccough (hiccup). What happened to “oo”, “uff”, “o”, “ow”, “ock” and “off”? Well, it’s now pronounced “up”. What do you mean you give ough? Come back!

February 26, 2010
7 Reasons Tesco Is Dangerous

1. Trolleys. For the first time in 7 Reasons history, we have a three pronged reason. (Yes, that is the official name). One: Wobbly wheels – An absolute nightmare to control. One minute you are heading for Lady Grey tea bags the next you find yourself in frozen sausages. Two: Trolley rage – Why does everyone else push their trolley so slowly? And why do they always alter direction just as you are trying to squeeze past them? And why do they always leave their trolley right in front of the ginger nuts? You just want to slam someone through the cheese counter. Three: Not your trolley – You leave your trolley for a second to grab a box of Bran Flakes, then when you come back you put them in someone else’s trolley and walk off with it. And their baby.

2. Petrol. Petrol stations are dangerous at the best of times, but they are a just an accident waiting to happen when owned by Tesco. It is so easy to douse yourself in said liquid while imagining getting home and opening the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies you have just bought.

3. Hunger. Go to Tesco when you are hungry and before you know it you will end up with food you don’t need, a poor credit rating and dozens upon dozens of gym membership offers.

4. Acquaintances. Why is it you can’t go to Tesco without seeing someone you know? And why is it always someone you really don’t want to talk to? Or let look in your trolley? You have no choice but to creep around the store hiding behind boxes of Shreddies and buying enormous French loaves to cover your face.

5. Tills. You go to the same Tesco every week. You always see the same cashiers. You have absolutely no intention of talking to them when you are in the queue, but as soon as you are packing your bags you are talking to them as if you spent the previous night on the phone to each other. Why?

6. Stalkers. Tesco is a popular training ground for stalkers. They position themselves in the flower section, behind the lilies. Any victim who smiles at the lilies will automatically be smiling at the stalker. This is all the encouragement they need. Suddenly the stalker is off. Following their victim from fruit & veg to tinned tomatoes to their car. If you shop at Tesco make sure your list includes pepper spray.

7. Shelves. Because visual merchandising is more important to Tesco than health and safety, products are stacked in creative ways. Creativity has a habit of falling down and cracking you on the top of the head. So do tins of baked beans.

*It would be unfair of me to take full credit for this piece as someone else thought of 5 ½ reasons. But I will. I had to write it after all.

February 25, 2010
7 Reasons I Don’t Care About Cheryl Bloody Cole

1. Thug. The nation loves Cheryl Cole, so we are told. Do we? I don’t. I’m quite sure that Sophie Amogbokpa doesn’t – that’s the toilet attendant and part-time law student that Cheryl Cole was convicted of assaulting in a nightclub toilet in 2003. The judge at the trial wasn’t particularly taken with her either, criticizing her for having “…showed no remorse whatsoever.” That’s at least three people who don’t love Cheryl Cole. I’m pretty sure my cat doesn’t like her either.

2. Heartbreak. We’ve spent the last two weeks reading about how heartbroken Cheryl Cole is over her husband’s dalliances and now newspapers are reporting that she has a new boyfriend. That’s not heartbreak, it’s not even heartslightlybent or heartatinyweenybitchipped. We can’t blame her for this though, we’ve got an insatiable media hungry for any new angle on this story – it’s selling a lot of newspapers, after all. Poor Cheryl is obviously being exploited by them. After all, if she knew that her every move was being scrutinized by the media, would she entertain a man in her hotel room until 4am? Of course not, unless she wanted to wring yet more publicity out of the story…oh, silly me.

3. America. After the Ashley Cole phone-text-photo story broke earlier this month, Cheryl Cole went off to America to spend some time away from the media spotlight, choosing as her destination the quiet, secluded backwater of Los Angeles. Purely coincidentally, this is where most US television executives are based. Did you know that Cheryl is being considered as a judge on the American X Factor, which Simon Cowell will be launching there next year? How propitious that she should find herself in a town full of television executives – who may not have heard of her previously – at the very moment she has an enormous press-pack following her every move.

4. Attractiveness. Another popular myth about Cheryl Cole is that everyone finds her attractive. This is not true, I don’t. I find her flawless face, small, perky nose and large, almond-shaped eyes a bit weird to be honest. She has the perfect, symmetrical, neotenous visage of a Disney character. Is this really something grown-ups find attractive? Not me. I don’t fancy Cheryl Cole and I don’t fancy Pocahontas. Nor do I lust after The Little Mermaid.

5. Ashley. Whatever you think of Ashley Cole and the way he conducts himself, it’s hard to fault him over the way he’s conducted himself since the story broke. He’s kept quiet about it. He’s just shut up and got on with trying to recover from his ankle injury in time for the World Cup. I’ll level with you, I can’t stand Ashley Cole. I think that the revelations that emerged a couple of years ago – that he cheated on his wife and paused during sex with a girl he’d met at a nightclub, so he could throw up on her bedroom floor, before resuming sex – show an appalling lack of respect for his wife, his marriage, women in general, and carpets. He is obviously a foul and abhorrent rotter. So when Ashley Cole is the one setting the example of how to behave decorously in the face of the media onslaught over the break-up, something is seriously wrong.

6. Cynicism. You can call me cynical but…actually, forget the but, you can call me cynical – I can live with that. I find the whole media obsession with the Coles a bore, and I find Cheryl’s manipulation of that interest exploitative and wholly self-serving. I may have a very cynical view of the whole thing, but it’s nothing when compared to the cynicism with which she is wringing every last bit of sympathy and publicity from the coverage.

7. Does anyone else care? Okay, I have just spent a good bit of time thinking about it, and a fair amount of time writing about it, but I don’t actually care about Cheryl Cole or Ashley Cole (except during England matches), I’m just annoyed by all of the media coverage that their break-up is generating. I’m sure that there are far more important events happening in the world than the break-up of a thug who can’t sing and a footballer who can’t keep his trousers on, I just don’t know what they are because the news agenda is dominated by this non-story. Perhaps something is happening in Haiti, the Falklands, Madeira, parliament, Afghanistan or Northern Ireland. Who knows?

Do you care about Cheryl and Ashley Cole’s break-up? If so, please tell me why via the comments section, as I’m beginning to wonder if there’s something I’m missing.

February 24, 2010