7 Reasons

Tag: TV

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Have Paid More Attention In Art Class

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Have Paid More Attention In Art Class

    When I was last at school I treated art lessons as a time to let my hair down, muck around and generally play the class fool. I don’t know what the kids must have thought of me – no wonder I didn’t last long as a teacher.

    7 Reasons You Should Have Paid Attention In Art Class
    Photo by Blue Monkey

    Here are seven good reasons why it really does pay to brush up on your art skills at school.

    1.  Think Of The Money. There is very good money to be made from art. In 1895, Norwegian artist Edvard Munch knocked up a picture of an alien-type figure holding their head in their hands while screaming on a bridge. He called the picture The Scream and it’s just been sold for $119.9 million (£74 million) at auction.

    2.  Anyone Can Come Up With A Great Piece Of Art. Looking at The Scream it’s hard to resist the thought that anyone could have drawn it – the figure in the picture is just one step up from a stick man; Munch hasn’t even troubled himself with the task of giving the screaming figure tricky-to-draw details like hair, eyelashes or fingernails. The Scream shows that a very simple, well-executed idea will take you a long way. And makes you lots of dosh too.

    3.  Making Great Art Can Be Quick. Watching the great children’s TV artists of the 1970s and 1980s go about their work provided a crash-course lesson on how to create great art quickly. Both Rolf Harris and Tony Hart worked at a frightening pace – producing two or three top-notch pieces of work in each half-hour episode. Replicate this work rate over a 9 to 5 working day and you will have lots of interesting art to sell.

    4.  Art College Is The Modern-Day Fame Academy. Britain has a great tradition of people going to Art College going on to become famous stars. John Lennon of The Beatles, Pete Townshend of The Who and Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones were just three of the stars who went to art college to study painting techniques and graphic design. It is worth noting that all of these stars found fame not through painting but through music and that most of the 1960s art colleges have been closed down because of spending cuts but you get the picture.

    5.  People Love Child Artists. Paying attention during primary school art lessons can pay dividends very quickly as the art world is particularly keen to embrace young talent. Nine-year-old Kieron Williamson is a case in point. The Norfolk lad regularly exhibits his oil, watercolour and pastel originals at exhibitions and has been dubbed ‘Mini Monet’ by chin-stroking art experts. “It’s lovely to see a nine-year-old boy keeping traditional landscape painting alive,” Kieron’s mother Michelle recently said. And there’s clearly a market for it – the youngster’s brilliant paintings fetch as much as £150,000 at auction.

    6.  Art Is Self-Expression. What other professions allow you to choose your own hours, attract muses and keep a messy office without the boss telling you off? Being an artist is all about expressing your inner soul and letting your creative fires burn freely.

    7.  Art Opens So Many Doors. And if all else fails you can always become an art teacher.

    Author Bio: James Christie writes for Yellow Moon craft supplies shop.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Run Out Of Money Every Month

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Run Out Of Money Every Month

    It’s getting harder to save money for your future with the euro being inflated every year. However, there are some things that are completely within your control. Before you complain about how expensive everything seems to be getting these days, check your ego at the door and make sure you’re not committing these seven deadly spending sins.

    7 Reasons You Run Out Of Money Every Month

    1.  You’re Shopping Way Too Much. Shopping is fun. Heck, what girl doesn’t like a new dress or pair of shoes? Shopping sprees aren’t just a female problem either. Men can get carried away on designer stuff too. If you have a shopping addiction, try putting away the credit card for a few days. If you still think you need a new pair of pants or a shirt, then consider visiting a charity shop – especially if you’re hooked on ModCloth.com offerings. You might be able to find some nice vintage stuff for much less than what you’ll pay retail.

    2.  You Drink So Much Coffee, Your Blood Is Now At Least 50 Percent Caffeine. Coffee can be addictive, and Starbucks is a pretty popular place, but there’s no need to go there three times a day. Even once a day gets expensive. If you need your coffee fix in the morning consider getting a pour over kit. The initial cost of manual pour over equipment pales in comparison to what it will save you over time. If you spend £2.60 every day on coffee, you will benefit from getting manual pour over equipment. In one month you’ll spend enough on Starbucks to buy yourself a decent filtercone holder, some nice filters, and some decent coffee. Two month’s worth of coffee will get you an excellent coffee grinder.

    The benefit? The learning curve is not very steep, it takes just as long to stand in line as it does to make your own coffee at home, and a manual pour over results in a stronger and better cup of coffee than what most retail places will sell you.

    3.  Those Late Night ATM Runs – You Know The Ones. Are you a night owl? Do you spend a lot of time at clubs, pubs, and after-hours parties? Going to the ATM to reload your wallet with cash takes its toll. There’s no easy solution to this problem other than taking it easy on the partying. Staying home and reading a book might not sound like much fun, but your bank account will thank you.

    4.  You Are Paying For More Channels Than You Can Possibly Watch. There’s nothing wrong with having cable T.V. In fact, it might add to your life in some way. However, there comes a point when enough is enough. If you’re paying for so many channels that you can never possibly watch all of them, it may be time to rethink your service plan. If you ever find yourself turning on your T.V. and thinking “oh wow, I didn’t even know I had this channel,” then it might be time to consider going with a cheaper package or perhaps cutting your cable down to the bare minimum.

    5.  You Eat Out So Often, You Haven’t Seen The Inside Of Your Fridge In Three Weeks. Eating out once in a while is fun. You don’t have to do the dishes, and you can usually get something that you find difficult or impossible to prepare yourself at home. However, if you’ve forgotten what the inside of your refrigerator looks like, or if the food in there has started to look more like a science experiment than leftovers because of all of the mold, then consider making more meals at home. Staying in has a wonderful positive effect on your bank account.

    6.  You Spend More Time On Your Hobbies Than You Do Working At Your Paying Job. Having hobbies allows you to stay active when you’re not working. However, when you spend more time on your hobbies than you do working at your “day job,” there’s something wrong. Maybe you should make your hobby your new job (by starting a business oriented around it) or find a new job that allows you to earn money from doing whatever it is you really love doing.

    7.  The Only Time You Step Foot On A Sidewalk Is To Get To Your Car. Automobiles allow us to get where we want to go faster than we ever could by walking. However, there’s a benefit to walking: it’s cheaper and allows us to get exercise. Consider walking or biking to work, if you live close enough.

    Guest post written by Elizabeth Goldman and brought to you by Wonga – the short term loan experts.

  • Guest Posts: 7 Reasons You Need To Re-tile Your Bathroom

    Guest Posts: 7 Reasons You Need To Re-tile Your Bathroom

    Is your bathroom starting to feel a little tired? Are you living with the odd cracked tile? Is your grout starting to look more yellow than white? Then perhaps it’s about time to re-tile your bathroom. OK, so budgets are a little tight right now, but a new looking bathroom could add thousands to the value of your home – so think of it as an investment. Still not convinced? Well maybe these awesome tiles will help you to make up your mind. Here are seven reasons why you should re-tile your bathroom today!

    7 Reasons You Need To Re-tile Your Bathroom
    Make Your Bathroom Fit For A Gladiator

    1.  Top Glass. Next time you tile your bathroom – go glass! Glass tiles are all the rage and can be used as either a border to add a little colour to good old fashioned white tiles or even to tile your entire bathroom. As well as being available in a rainbow of colours, glass tiles also come in a range of shapes – from squares and rectangles through to diamonds and hexagons. As well as looking gorgeous glass tiles can also ensure you are doing your bit to save the planet as many, such as the ones supplied by Stardust Glass, are made from recycled glass, which may otherwise have ended up in landfill.

    2.  Mirror, Mirror On The Wall. Love your own reflection? Then these beauties are just for you. With mirrored tiles you can do away with that little bathroom mirror as your bathroom becomes your mirror. As well as providing that all important ‘wow’ factor to your rest room mirror tiles do provide a practical use too as in small bathrooms they can be used to create the illusion of space. Granted mirror tiles aren’t to everyone’s taste and they certainly are not recommended for re-tiling your bathroom floor.

    3.  The Really Wild Show. If you’re looking to express your wild side in the bathroom, then check out the Savana range from Italian tile makers Petracer’s. Inspired by the inhabitants of the Savannah these opulent designs feature tiles with leopard and zebra print alongside stunning replica crocodile skin which is available in a range of striking colours including chocolate brown, burnt orange and deep red. Re-tile your bathroom with these beauties and you’ll have Cavalli himself ringing to ask if he can come around for a bath.

    4.  The Glitz Of Glitter. From Schiphol airport in Amsterdam to the Disney store, glitter tiles are used by some of the biggest names in the business to add a little sparkle to their buildings. You too can add some glitz and glamour to your bathroom by re-tiling using engineered quartz stone. Also known as glitter tiles these stunning sparklers are available in a wide range of colours, but be warned, when combined with some sexy down-lighting you’ll start needing to wear your shades to spend a penny.

    5.  A Touch Of Travertine. If it was good enough for the Romans it’s good enough for your bathroom. Appreciated by many for its marble look, but without the marble price tag, travertine was used by the Romans as their material of choice for their elaborate bath complexes. You too can replicate the look of ancient Rome by cladding your bathroom from head to toe in this stunning natural stone from the walls down to the luxurious feel of travertine floor tiles underfoot. Add a couple of gladiators and a lion and you’ve got your very own Colosseum.

    6.  Bubblicious. The Italians don’t just make sexy clothes and cars; they also make sexy bathroom tiles too. The latest must have tile of the moment is the bubble tile. Made by the Italian tile manufacturer EVIT these amazing creations are a must have for all those looking to make a real impact. These lovely bubblies are available in a wide range of colours but, whichever you choose, your guests are sure to be impressed. Just add a steaming hot tub and bubble-bath to complete the look.

    7.  Televisual Tiling. Worried about missing the latest episode or your favourite soap whilst taking a bath? Scared of not seeing the winning goal whist taking a shower? Worry no more! Now, thanks to TileVision, you won’t miss a thing as you can tile a TV straight into your bathroom wall. These amazing pieces of tile tech include remote control, integrated waterproof LCD TV and are available in black, silver or even mirrored finish – which means even when the sets off you can still use it to squeeze those spots or wax those wayward eyebrows.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Need An LED TV

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Need An LED TV

    Long gone are the days when you could simply ‘rumble on down to Rumbelows’, choose your desired screen size and have your new TV delivered to your home. These days buying a new TV is like sitting a small exam on the latest technology. Aside from how big you want your screen to be, you also need to choose between LCD and plasma – which do you plump for? Well worry no more, as there’s a new boy in town that wipes the floor with the pair of them – the LED TV. Why should you choose LED over LCD and plasma? Here’s why:

    7 Reasons Why You Need An LED TV
    All LED TVs Include Snowboarders Jumping Out Of The Screen As Standard

    1.  You Don’t Need To Re-Mortgage To Buy One Anymore. Okay, so let’s be honest, LED TVs have been around for a while, but the first wave of these new sets where pretty pricey and maxed out most of the credit cards in your wallet. However, the latest variants of LED TV are now much more affordable meaning they can be compared like for like alongside comparative formats without price being an issue.

    2.  Unlike Plasma, You Won’t Need Your Own Power Plant To Run One. LED TVs are currently much more energy efficient than their rivals with a typical 40 inch set using just 83 watts – as opposed to the 96 watts used by an LCD and the whopping 221 watts drained by similar sized plasma.

    3.  You’ll Remember What A Colour TV Is Supposed To Look Like. Remember the good old days of CRT televisions when colour TV was actually colourful? Well, thanks to LED TV those days are back! LED TVs are awash with colour and unlike their LCD cousins they can actually ‘do’ the colour black too!

    4.  Size Matters. Indeed size does matter, but in the case of the modern TV, the thinner the better. LED TVs are now available at just over an inch think, unlike LCD TVs and plasmas which are significantly bigger. As well as taking up less space and being easier to handle, this also makes LED TVs much more suitable to wall mounting than their chubby counterparts.

    5.  You’ll Be Helping To Save the Planet. As well as using much less power than their rivals, LED TVs are environmental friendly in another way too. Unlike LCDs and Plasma televisions, they don’t use mercury in their manufacture and therefore can be disposed of safely without any risk to the environment.

    6.  They Look Awesome. As well as having a great picture LCD TVs look pretty cool too. Their ultra slim appearance and skinny frames make them more about the picture than the set itself. Even when they’re turned off their sleek design means an end to that butt ugly lump of plastic sitting in the corner of the room we’ve all become accustomed too.

    7.  Your Mates Will All Be Jealous. A combination of slick design and awesome performance will have all your friends green with envy when they return home to their archaic plasma. And, when someone mistakenly refers to your awesome gadgetry as an LCD TV, make sure you’re on hand to say, “Erm, no, it’s an LED TV actually!”

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Have Paid Attention in Your GCSE Maths Class

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Have Paid Attention in Your GCSE Maths Class

    Okay, I’ll admit it. It’s been a while since I had to break out the old sine, cosine and tangent, but it has to be said that paying attention in GCSE maths has paid off on many an occasion. I’m not talking Integrals of inverse functions or anything uber-smart like that – just good old fashioned maths. So kids, if you’re reading this thinking maths is just a waste of time, think again! Here are seven reasons why you should pay attention in your GCSE Maths class.

    7 Reasons You Should Have Paid Attention In Your GCSE Maths Class

    1.  Going Dutch. Why does splitting the bill after dinner with friends always turn out to be such a trauma? Everyone will swear blind that they’ve chipped in more than enough to cover their share, but somehow you’re always a tenner short. Even ‘going Dutch’ means a round of long division. If you weren’t paying attention at school you’d best just hope that the public display of maths skill doesn’t land on your plate to divvy up. If it does you best get counting on those fingers and toes, either that or reach for your smartphone and breakout the calculator app!

    2.  TV Test. As if buying a TV wasn’t complicated enough with all that LCD, LED, plasma talk, you also need to break out your old GSCE maths notes to ensure you get the right size, ratio and resolution. First of all what’s with all that inches stuff – we were taught in cm. Let’s just hope you were paying attention when they taught you how to convert inches to centimetres, or you could end up trying to fit a JumboTron in your living room. Screen ratios have pretty much been standardised to 16:9 these days, but you do need to know what screen resolution you want and it’s not just a matter of standard definition or HD either – with HD coming in 3 flavours 720p, 1080i and 1080p. Bet you wish you’d paid attention to Sir now don’t you?

    3.  Perfect Pizza. It’s those pesky inches at play again here. Fail to get a grasp imperial conversion when you’re browsing your local takeaway menu and you’ll either end up with a child’s portion or a pizza the size of a dustbin lid. Okay, so ordering too much pizza isn’t the end of the world – unless of course you’re ordering from that well known pizza delivery place and your all out of vouchers. Oooh – that’s gonna cost you!

    4.  DIY Disaster. Not buying the right amount of emulsion paint can be a pain, but it’s not the end of the world. However, miscalculate the number of rolls of wallpaper you need and it could spell trouble. Yes, that’s right – buying wallpaper requires major maths skills. You’ll need to consider wall height and width, allow for doorways, windows and radiators and worst of all, the dreaded pattern repeat! Don’t think you can just pop down to your local DIY store and buy an extra roll if you run out either. Oh-no! Every roll has a specific batch number which means you’d best get it right first time, or you’ll be staring at an odd strip of wallpaper for the next several years before you strip it all off and start again.

    5.  Fuel Failure. Weren’t paying attention in GCSE maths when they taught you all about litres? Then owning a car is going to be fun – especially with the price of fuel these days. Unless you’ve got pots of expendable income, you’re going to want to just how much petrol or diesel your car is guzzling. Okay, so plenty of new cars do this for you, but let’s be honest, those trip computers are never very accurate and you’re far better off getting your mind around those MPG calculations yourself.

    6.  Utility Futility. Even the best mathematicians struggle when it comes to interpreting their utility bills, so if you weren’t paying attention at school it might just blow your mind. With energy companies hiking rates more often than they drop them and constantly ‘estimating’ how much you owe them, this is one area you really must master to avoid being ripped off. Be on the ball here and you could save yourself a small fortune in unnecessary payments. Leave it to the energy companies and they’ll just keep on ‘estimating’ – usually in their favour.

    7.  Pi Eyed. Let’s hope you were paying attention when your GCSE maths teacher told you all about Pi. Not only will knowing all about Pi ensure you are always able to calculate the circumference of any circle, it will also prevent you from looking like a fool by mistakenly shouting out “Yeah, my favourite type of Pi is rhubarb” when trying to join in an intelligent sounding conversation at the local boozer.

    About The Author: Michael writes for iTutorMaths, if you want to get your maths up to scratch, then iTutor can provide you with an online maths tutor.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Forgot To Pick The Children Up From School

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Forgot To Pick The Children Up From School

    It sounds terrible, but I would be willing to bet that there isn’t a single person reading this who hasn’t picked their children up from school late at least once – talking to some of the parents I know, here are some of the reasons they gave me for ‘running late’…

    7 Reasons You Forgot To Pick The Children Up From School
    1.  You Were Playing Farmville. In fact all of those highly-addictive Facebook games should come with health warnings, “May cause you to lose large chunks of your day.”. Or, at the very least, they should come with in-game reminders like, “Step away from the computer and pick up your offspring – you can always beat Claire’s Bejewelled score later.”.

    2.  You Were Trying On That Dress Again. Hands up who has ever dropped the children at school in the morning, popped to the high street and still found yourself looking for that perfect cocktail dress ay 3pm? I’ve often found myself battling the shopping devil inside that is telling you to go and try the dress on again for the twelfth time. The children can probably walk home. They need to grow up sometime, right?! 🙂

    3.  You Were Gossiping. As the old saying goes; “time flies when you’re speculating with your best friend about her cougar of a neighbour’s latest toyboy”.

    4.  You Were Playing Bingo. Whether you popped in for an early session with the other mums or got engrossed in some of the cute bingo games online.

    5.  You Had To Stay And Laugh At Your Boss’ Jokes. Ah, the dreaded afternoon meeting where your boss’ showboating drags on a little too long. You’re checking your watch, but he is telling the most drawn out joke in the world. And he keeps getting it wrong. But hey, you’re trying to climb the ladder so you put on a brave face and attempt to chuckle in the right places whilst thinking about what you’ve got for dinner.

    6.  Those Pesky Soap Operas Were Just A Little Too Gripping. As you sit enjoying the last peaceful cup of tea for the day, wondering if that woman will make it out alive, who’s the daddy of that baby or if she really did bury her husband under the shed – don’t forget that it isn’t real. The children are waiting in the playground so you’d better get a wiggle on…

    7.  Some Legitimate Reason. There really are quite a few legitimate reasons for running late. The previous six probably aren’t going to cut it – I doubt your child’s teacher will take kindly to you telling them you wanted to finish your game of Pathwords. Running late and temporarily forgetting to pick up your kids doesn’t make you a bad parent – we’re all busy and we’re all human.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Christmas Eve Is Better Than Christmas Day

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Christmas Eve Is Better Than Christmas Day

    If you were in the 7 Reasons club this time last year, no doubt you’ll be rushing down to the butchers today to celebrate The Day Of The Sausage. The rest of you, no doubt, will be eagerly awaiting tomorrow. Christmas Day. Arguably the best day of the year. Well, certainly in the top 365 anyway. Here at 7 Reasons we are not adverse to handing out gifts and this year you get yours a day early. It’s a special Christmas post from the undisputed King of Guest Posts, Richard O’Hagan. PS: When he’s not writing rude words in the snow he’s adding to his Memory Blog. Well worth a RSS Feed Subscription.

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Christmas Eve Is Better Than Christmas Day

    1.  Anticipation. One of the best things about Christmas Eve is that it isn’t Christmas Day. Obviously. This means that it is the day when you reach the height of anticipation about the day to come. You can’t do anything more. The shops are shut and Amazon haven’t been able to piece together a next day delivery service for December 25th*, so you just have to kick back, relax and resign yourself to the fact that you can’t do anything to make Christmas any better, so you just have to look forward to the day to come. And you also get to build large toys whilst drunk. No-one who has ever tried to put together a tricycle at five to midnight ever forgets that experience, no matter how much Baileys they’ve downed beforehand (and no matter how hard they try to)

    2.  Food Choice. It’s only Christmas Eve, so you can eat what you damn well like. The mandatory turkey-fest is another day away and all dining options remain open to you. Which means that if you fancy getting a huge takeaway so that you can have the leftovers for breakfast on Christmas morning, you can do. Or you could have sausages.

    3.  TV. For all of the build up that the television companies give to the 25th, Christmas Eve television is infinitely better than Christmas Day’s offering. Aside from anything else, it tends not to be clogged up with octogenarians reading you their Christmas letter and Channel 4 trying far too hard to be trendy, not to mention the tired old sitcoms that weren’t that funny anyway being even less funny as they try to shoehorn a festive storyline into their archaic format.

    4.  Shopping. The shops being closed on Christmas Day isn’t a bad thing in general, but at least on Christmas Eve you can pop to Sainsbury’s if you run out of milk or, heaven forbid, booze.

    5.  Work. Admittedly this doesn’t apply to so many people this year, but over seventy percent of the time Christmas Eve is a work day. It is a great day to go to work for most, because almost nothing gets done, you get to go home early and someone pays you for working the full day. And if you do have to work properly, you get to feel all virtuous and Christmassy anyway because you are the only people working properly, so it is a win-win whichever way you look at it.

    6.  Lie-Ins. Whether you are working or not, you can be sure of one thing – you will get to sleep in longer on Christmas Eve than you will on Christmas Day. If you have small children, they will be up and wanting to open presents practically as soon as the clock passes midnight. If you have older children, you’re probably going to be woken up by your grandchildren instead. If you have no children, your partner will get over-excited and still wake you up early. And if you live alone, don’t worry, there will be a child wailing somewhere long before 7am to rouse you from your slumber. Get all the sleep you can on the 24th, because the 25th is going to hurt. Which is why you should make sure that you don’t run out of booze on the 24th.

    7.  Disappointment. Inevitably, Christmas Day cannot live up to all of the expectations. We build it up to be the perfect day of all days, so something has to go wrong – the turkey taking too long to cook, the neighbours calling in unexpectedly, Santa not bringing you the moon on a stick that you asked for. Christmas Day cannot help but be a disappointment. Christmas Eve never is, because at the end of it a fat bloke is going to give you a load of presents. And nothing is better than free presents, is it?

    *In truth, they’ve not really worked out a delivery service for most of December, preferring the ‘give it to Yodel or City Link and hope the customer forgets ever ordering it’ option. One the things I ordered is presumably still in a locked empty flat where Yodel apparently delivered it a fortnight ago.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why The Banana Splits Are Brilliant

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why The Banana Splits Are Brilliant

    I would like to say we’ve been saving this one especially for Christmas. But that would be lying. The truth is I lost this post in the 7 Reasons vault sometime in April. Not that I knew it at the time. You see, this only came to light on Friday when today’s author – Richard O’Hagan – queried why we hadn’t published his 43rd 7 Reasons work. Or words to that effect anyway. I said I didn’t know and blamed Marc. Then I realised it was my fault. Anyway, it’s all sorted now and today Richard’s post finally gets the airing it deserves. If you want to read more from Richard, he’s still remembering things and writing them down over at The Memory Blog.

    ***

    This post was precipitated by a conversation which I had with Marc at the end of March. Well, I say ‘conversation’, but it was on Twitter and largely consisted of me sitting there twiddling my thumbs whilst Marc went off and changed nappies/fed the wife/saved the world/did other manly things. The conversation began with Marc comparing me to the fifth Beatle, something which I objected to on the grounds of limited life expectancy and even more limited royalty cheques. It ended with me agreeing to be the fifth Banana Split, which suits me fine because I have a weakness for ice cream sundaes (they are more edible that Russian Roulette ones, I find).

    Then I realised that he didn’t mean delicious fruit and dairy desserts, but the television show of the same name. Which I didn’t mind either, because I loved that show as a kid. In fact, here are ‘7 Reasons Why The Banana Splits Are Brilliant’.

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why The Banana Splits Are Awesome

    1.  Fleegle. What better name could there be for a beagle? It rhymes, it has the ‘flea’ connotation, and moreover this one was in charge of one of the greatest television shows ever. If I actually liked dogs, and if they didn’t fall foul of my ‘no point in having any pet that you can’t eat’ rule*, and if I was going to get a beagle, I’d name it ‘Fleegle’ too.

    2.  Bingo. Bingo was the drum playing orangutan with the glasses and the biggest grin this side of an American TV evangelist. Whenever great, charismatic, drummers are mentioned – Moon the Loon, Bonzo Bonham, Animal from The Muppets – Bingo is always left out, yet that level of spaced out dementia doesn’t just come from nowhere. Today, 7 Reasons is putting Bingo back where he belongs, in the great pantheon of drumming nutjobs.

    3.  Snorky. Without a doubt the least convincing elephant in the history of television, Snorky (for some reason referred to as ‘Snork’ in the theme song) was the non-speaking, squeaking, member of the Splits. Surprisingly deft on the keyboards and remarkably hairy, he has the odd distinction of being the most recognisable of the four despite never saying an intelligible word, thereby making him the Ian Brown of his day.

    4.  Drooper. It was only when I was researching this piece – yes, there was research, you think I just know this stuff? – that I realised that Drooper was supposed to be a lion. I’d always assumed that he was some particularly mangy breed of dog. Now I know that he’s actually the skinniest, mangiest lion in history. But he did have exceedingly cool sunglasses well before the likes of Liam Gallagher were even thought of. And ‘Drooper’s Letters’ preceded anything Viz could come up with by at least a decade. Moreover, he was voiced by

    5.  Daws Butler. The legendary Hanna-Barbera voiceover artist, the man behind not only Snagglepuss and Quick Draw McGraw, but Yogi Bear himself. That’s right, the Banana Splits have a direct genetic line to Yogi and BooBoo, despite none of them being a bear at all. Which means that they invented cross species genetic engineering long before Wayne Rooney’s parents thought of it.

    6.  Banana Buggies. Would sir like a multicoloured beach buggy to drive across the dunes at high speed? YES PLEASE! If there has been a cooler summertime mode of transport than a Banana Buggy then I have yet to see it. And better still, unlike other anthropomorphosised television characters, they didn’t have to share. Oh no. They got one each. Being a Banana Split meant never having to wonder which seat you were going to sit in, and therefore never having to understand Rebecca Black.

    7.  Theme Tune. The theme tune is, without doubt, the greatest children’s tv theme of all time. Aside from anything else, it is the only one to have been covered by a punk band** and the only one that it is still cool to sing when you are as old as me***. And definitely the only one to have been released on yellow vinyl.

    *You were expecting a tired cliché masquerading as a joke here, won’t you. Go on, admit it! I can see you smiling, you know.

    **The Toy Dolls’ cover of ‘Nellie the Elephant’ doesn’t count, as it was never the theme to a children’s show and they were about as punk as Cliff Richard

    ***Oh, yes it is!

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Build A Pub Shed

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Build A Pub Shed

    Now that 7 Reasons has wound down its daily service, we have been wondering where to keep the 7 Reasons sofa. Then Matthew Wilby got in touch. And he had the solution. A pub shed! We don’t need convincing further, but should you then Matthew has all the reasons you require. Let’s be honest though, who needs reasons? It’s a pub shed!

    7 Reasons Why You Should Build A Pub Shed

    1.  No Walk Home. We all love going to the pub, it’s a great place to enjoy a few too many pints. But you know what we don’t like… the walk home. If you turn your garden sheds into a pub, the walk home is much shorter, unless you have a very, very large garden. But then you might as well build your own pub.

    2.  Recession. We all want to save money and making your own pub shed is the perfect way to save vital pennies. Buying your own beers from the local shop is much cheaper than buying a pint at the local pub and then of course there is the option of inviting all your friends round and telling them to bring the beer.

    3.  Guest List. Your pub shed has a very exclusive guest list – the pub shed gives you power, power to ban, power to invite and power to party. In a pub shed there are no girlfriends, no karaoke, and no teenagers – just good people. A pub shed allows you to have a good time with your friends without having to worry about any other fools turning up.

    4.  Sports. I like watching football in the pub but people are always getting in the way and obstructing the screen when a crucial goal is being scored. The solution is obvious. You guessed it. A pub shed. A pub shed is the perfect location for a flat screen telly with a full Sky Sports package. You can now enjoy your favourite sports without any distraction. And a cold pint too. Though you will have to get up and pour it yourself.

    5.  Comfort. Pubs are great, but don’t you wish they were a bit cosier? The wooden bench is no competition for a comfy, well worn sofa. There are no rules when it comes to pub shed furniture either. You can lounge around on whatever you like. And however you like too. That’s the beauty of a pub shed.

    6.  Last Orders. In a pub shed there is a bell behind the bar. But it is not for last orders. The pub shed frowns on last orders. The bell behind the bar in the pub shed signals the beginning, freedom and shots.

    7.  Spending Time At Home. Many people often worry about their partners going to the pub. Well, a pub shed brings an end to all of that. Spending time at home? You are! You’re in the garden enjoying your home’s latest feature. Pub sheds can also add value to your home. Admittedly nobody has researched this, but if I went to view a house and it had a pub shed, I would definitely pay more for it.

  • 7 Reasons To Watch The Rugby World Cup

    7 Reasons To Watch The Rugby World Cup

    Here we go then. After four years of waiting England are finally about to bring the Webb Ellis Trophy home again. Don’t worry though, if you are of another nationality, there are still reasons to watch.

    7 Reasons To Watch The Rugby World Cup

    1.  The Perennials. Yes, I’m talking about New Zealand. Favourites for the fifth tournament in a row and justifiably so. The Kiwis are very good and every other team out there is quite frankly abysmal. Add into the mix that they are also hosts then the odds of 8/13 still seem quite generous. To an uneducated supporter that is. Everyone else knows that New Zealand will not win. They are chokers. Defeated in the 1995 final, the 1999 and 2003 semi-finals and the 2007 quarter-finals. They are the Netherlands of the rugby world. So much natural talent and yet so little mental toughness. The draw has been kind to them this year, they play their nemeses France in the group stage meaning they’ll win that one. A quarter-final against Argentina won’t provide too many difficulties, but then they come up against the Aussies – who, after losing to Ireland in the group stages, knock South Africa out in the quarters. And the Aussies win that one. Because they know how.

    2.  The Group Of Death. If there is such a thing as the group of death in this World Cup, it’s group D. Neither Wales nor South Africa will find it easy against Samoa or Fiji and while South Africa’s experience should help them through, Wales may be heading home early. Which is obviously a shame because New Zealand is full of sheep.

    3.  The Minnows. That’s right, I’m talking about Scotland. They should be entertaining to watch. For a neutral anyway. For a Scot there’ll be a dispiriting draw against Romania, two horrendous defeats to Argentina and Georgia and then a two-point win against England. Just because that’s all the Scots care about. And because Hape will be playing for England instead of the suspended Tulagi – who head-butted one touch-judge, two cheerleaders and a supporters coach during the game against Argentina.

    4.  Sleep Deprivation. The time difference means all of us who fine-tuned the art of staying awake all night followed by a half-arsed day at work during The Ashes, get to do it all over again. The first game between the hosts and Tonga is really just a warm-up. The fun starts on Saturday morning. The first of four games kicks off at 2am. There are no forty-minute lunch breaks to sleep through. No rain-delays to give you an excuse to go to bed. Just rugby, rugby, rugby. But that’s great because being deprived of sleep is wonderful. It puts you in a trance-like state through which you do all the jobs you hate without even realising. It really should be available on the National Health.

    5.  Commentary. With no Ortis Deley presenting, we have to look to the commentators for tongue-twisters. And, in particular, the unlucky sole who pulled the short straw and will find themselves in Auckland on 25th September commentating on Fiji v Samoa. If you know your Waqaniburotu, Murimurivalu and Koyamaiboles from your Treviranus, Poluleuligaga and Tagicakibaus then I suggest you give ITV a call. You’ll almost certainly be put on stand-by. For the rest of us, this has drinking game written all over it. For every mispronunciation, it’s two fingers. You’ll be wrecked by 6am.

    6.  The Unexpected. Last year ITV performed quite a coup. They got Francois Pienaar to join their line-up for the Football World Cup. Yes, the rugby legend Francois Pienaar. One assumes this was because the World Cup was being hosted in South Africa. So this begs the question, which Kiwi football star have they lined up to offer expert analysis on the scrum? That’s right, it’s Blackburn defender and current Kiwi captain, Ryan Nelson. I expect.

    7 Reasons To Watch The Rugby World Cup
    Blackburn’s Ryan Nelson Will Be In ITV’s Analysis Truck For The Rugby World Cup

    7.  The Alternative. Well that would be to listen to it. On, wait for it, TalkSport. Yes, that’s right, TalkSport! They have exclusive rights which means no Ian Robertson this year. They do have a decent commentary team with John Taylor and Brian Moore in the ranks, but my problem is that they’ll keep interrupting the matches to tell us that Nick Barmby has rejoined Spurs on a free and some twat from a van-hire company will repeatedly tell they’re the best in Canvey Island. I don’t want to know! Then we’ll probably have Jon Gaunt doing a rugby phone-in with Nick Griffin. It’s not going to be pretty. Watch it on TV instead. Watch it on a real channel. Watch it on… oh… erm… it’s on ITV again.