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Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Get Married

Posted on March 17, 2012 in Guest Posts | 2 comments

If you’re a single, broke bachelor who spends his time hopping from bar to bar trying to get some action on a Saturday night, marriage might be the best thing that could happen to you. So what if the divorce rate is over 50 percent in the United States? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

7 Reasons You Should Get Married

1.  You Get To Have A Stag Weekend. When women get married, most of them want the wedding of their dreams, but what’s in it for you? If you have the right groomsmen, they will make sure you have the best stag weekend that you could ever imagine. Your stag weekend can last for as long as you want. You can have it all: scantily-dressed women, booze and music. Sky’s the limit. It’s like Mardi Gras meets your birthday. What’s there not to like?

2.  Say Goodbye To Condoms. When you tie the knot, you are no longer under obligation to use condoms because you are both officially off the market. Even if you’re not trying to knock up your wife, she will be more willing to look into other birth control alternatives that don’t involve a slipping on a piece of rubber during moments of passion.

3.  She’ll Do Your Laundry For Free. It’s probably been a while since a woman was more than happy to wash your dirty clothes. The last time that happened to you was probably when you used to drop off your laundry at your mother’s house during your weekends home from college. Take advantage of the opportunity.

4.  Your Debt Becomes Her Debt Too. If you’re like most Americans, you’ve accumulated some debt. You probably have credit card and student loan debt, and you can have someone to share it with until death do you part. Marriage is about commitment, and your wife will be also held legally accountable for your debt.

5.  She’s Under Contract To Love You. Even if you’re not a romantic, it’s nice to know that your wife has promised to love you no matter what you do. You don’t have to spend so much time impressing her because she must have been impressed with you to marry you in the first place. You can be yourself. Leave the dishes in the sink. Watch sports all night. Burp in bed. She loves you.

6.  Marriage Makes You More Attractive. You may be a one woman man, but once you get married, single women will love you more than ever. Your attractiveness will quadruple as soon as you get back from your honeymoon. Even if you’re not one to cheat, it sure feels good to be wanted.

7.  You’re Guaranteed More Sex. Once you put a ring on it, you’ve locked down your sex life too. The idea that married men get laid less than single men do is only based on 1 percent of the population, according to Kinsey Institute. While 23 percent of non-married men often go up to 12 months without sex, only 1 percent of married men experience dry spells that last an entire year.

 Everyone around you may be running away from marriage, but these guys don’t know the real benefits of marrying a beautiful woman who can make your life ten times better. After you say “I do,” you will not only have a built in sex buddy, cleaning lady and financial advisor, but a lifelong friend who has your back.

Post contributed by Andrew Jones on behalf of Chillisauce.

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  1. This is kind of sexist.

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