Guest Post: 7 Reasons Men Should Never Wear A Pink Personalised T-Shirt
“Pink T-Shirt?! PINK T-SHIRT?!?!?! Are you…? Are you…serious? Why is that guy wearing that? Pink?! REALLY?!”
The above is, believe it or not, an abbreviated (and cleaner) version of the thought process racing through a man or woman’s head when they spot that rare and ridiculous beast: the pink T-shirt-wearing male.
Here is a fun list of reasons you should NOT be that beast:
1. All Aboard The Camp-er Van. OK. Let’s start with the reason that most red-blooded males will put at the top: it’s camp. A pink t-shirt is camp. And wearing a pink t-shirt is even camper. If you deem yourself to be camp, well that’s fine. You are what you wear. But if you’re not camp, well then a pink t-shirt is just not for you. Many things in life are said to be impossible. But they’re not really. Wearing a pink t-shirt and not looking camp, however, is. You just can’t do it. Wearing a pink t-shirt gives off certain signals you see. Like using straighteners on your hair or painting your nails. People might just think you care a little TOO much about your appearance. And that makes you a tart.
2. I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty. Unconvinced by the last point? This is the 21st century, right? We can straighten our hair and wear nail varnish and put on our mummy’s dresses and sing West Side Story. Errr…no…no you can’t. Metro sexuality was a passing fad to shift product. It’s gone now. Wave goodbye. Basic traditions stand the test of time for a reason.
3. Why? Just Why? Think of all the other personalised t shirts colours you could wear…
WHITE: Clean and cool.
YELLOW: Summer time.
PINK….now tell me, after that list, pink doesn’t NATURALLY strike you as a little odd.
4. Pink Is Not For Girls. Even WOMEN don’t really wear pink. Think about Angie at the Oscars. Elizabeth Hurley in THAT dress. Black is sexy. Red is feisty. Pink doesn’t often make the list for chicks, so…cased close?
5. You’re Fired. OK so you want three more reasons. You greedy piglets. Ladies and gentleman of the jury I refer you to the excellent, internationally-loved cartoon series The Simpsons. In the episode ‘Stark Raving Dad’ Homer is fired from work by Mr. Burns for being a “free-thinking anarchist” BECAUSE he wore a PINK SHIRT to work! So in Simpson-world it’s OFFICIALLY CRAZY. And let us NOT forget, ladies and gentleman of the jury, that Homer wore that pink shirt by MISTAKE! He washed his reds with his whites. He did NOT BUY a pink shirt.
6. It’s Not Rocket Science. If you want us to go all technical on you, we will. PINK is scientifically proven to only go with a very select amount of skin tones. We are pink and peachy and pasty and black and white and brown and NONE OF THOSE, not ONE is supposed to be a great fit with pink. Don’t blame us. BLAME SCIENCE.
7. Horticultural Impact. The word Pink comes from flowers…
BONUS REASON: Try Google image searching ‘Brad Pitt wearing pink personalised T-shirt’ or George Clooney or Johnny Depp. NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING can be found.