You don't wear shorts when you're wearing trousers. You don't wear glasses when you're wearing contacts. So why wear a watch when you already know the time?

Recycle like a Womble

The News of the World have been hacking the wrong phones and should hack mine instead.

I want a popemobile. You want a popemobile. He wants a popemobile. She wants a popemobile. We all want a popemobile. Read on to find out why.

1.  Romance.  I don’t know if you woke Julie up, but I suspect that you probably did.  Women are mysterious creatures and, who knows, perhaps your innovative approach to wooing Julie by interrupting her slumber and slurring, “Julie, I miss you Julie” is a piece of revolutionary brilliance which will completely change the way that men conduct their pursuit of women.  Or perhaps she won’t be swayed by that.  Have you considered a...