Tag: bath

Guest Posts: 7 Reasons You Need To Re-tile Your Bathroom

Is your bathroom starting to feel a little tired? Are you living with the odd cracked tile? Is your grout starting to look more yellow than white? Then perhaps it’s about time to re-tile your bathroom. OK, so budgets are a little tight right now, but a new looking bathroom could add thousands to the value of your home – so think of it as an investment. Still not convinced? Well maybe these awesome tiles will help you to make up your mind. Here are seven reasons why you should re-tile your bathroom today!

Make Your Bathroom Fit For A Gladiator

1. Top Glass. Next time you tile your bathroom – go glass! Glass tiles are all the rage and can be used as either a border to add a little colour to good old fashioned white tiles or even to tile your entire bathroom. As well as being available in a rainbow of colours, glass tiles also come in a range of shapes – from squares and rectangles through to diamonds and hexagons. As well as looking gorgeous glass tiles can also ensure you are doing your bit to save the planet as many, such as the ones supplied by Stardust Glass, are made from recycled glass, which may otherwise have ended up in landfill.

2. Mirror, Mirror On The Wall. Love your own reflection? Then these beauties are just for you. With mirrored tiles you can do away with that little bathroom mirror as your bathroom becomes your mirror. As well as providing that all important ‘wow’ factor to your rest room mirror tiles do provide a practical use too as in small bathrooms they can be used to create the illusion of space. Granted mirror tiles aren’t to everyone’s taste and they certainly are not recommended for re-tiling your bathroom floor.

3. The Really Wild Show. If you’re looking to express your wild side in the bathroom, then check out the Savana range from Italian tile makers Petracer’s. Inspired by the inhabitants of the Savannah these opulent designs feature tiles with leopard and zebra print alongside stunning replica crocodile skin which is available in a range of striking colours including chocolate brown, burnt orange and deep red. Re-tile your bathroom with these beauties and you’ll have Cavalli himself ringing to ask if he can come around for a bath.

4. The Glitz Of Glitter. From Schiphol airport in Amsterdam to the Disney store, glitter tiles are used by some of the biggest names in the business to add a little sparkle to their buildings. You too can add some glitz and glamour to your bathroom by re-tiling using engineered quartz stone. Also known as glitter tiles these stunning sparklers are available in a wide range of colours, but be warned, when combined with some sexy down-lighting you’ll start needing to wear your shades to spend a penny.

5. A Touch Of Travertine. If it was good enough for the Romans it’s good enough for your bathroom. Appreciated by many for its marble look, but without the marble price tag, travertine was used by the Romans as their material of choice for their elaborate bath complexes. You too can replicate the look of ancient Rome by cladding your bathroom from head to toe in this stunning natural stone from the walls down to the luxurious feel of travertine floor tiles underfoot. Add a couple of gladiators and a lion and you’ve got your very own Colosseum.

6. Bubblicious. The Italians don’t just make sexy clothes and cars; they also make sexy bathroom tiles too. The latest must have tile of the moment is the bubble tile. Made by the Italian tile manufacturer EVIT these amazing creations are a must have for all those looking to make a real impact. These lovely bubblies are available in a wide range of colours but, whichever you choose, your guests are sure to be impressed. Just add a steaming hot tub and bubble-bath to complete the look.

7. Televisual Tiling. Worried about missing the latest episode or your favourite soap whilst taking a bath? Scared of not seeing the winning goal whist taking a shower? Worry no more! Now, thanks to TileVision, you won’t miss a thing as you can tile a TV straight into your bathroom wall. These amazing pieces of tile tech include remote control, integrated waterproof LCD TV and are available in black, silver or even mirrored finish – which means even when the sets off you can still use it to squeeze those spots or wax those wayward eyebrows.

March 8, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Add A Second Bathroom To Your Home

Of all the fun things you probably want to add to your home (hot tub, bar, air hockey table) a second wash room is probably fairly low on the list. But they’re easy to add using cloakroom suites and could end up making your life better:

1. Free Up Your Main Bathroom. How many of us, especially in the morning when the adults are getting ready for work and the kids for school, wish we had more than one bathroom? You’re stood outside, waiting patiently to use the toilet or basin, and someone sprints in while you’re dancing around trying to hold in your wee. And you’re back to waiting another 20 minutes as they do their make up or take an overlong shower.

2. Add Value To Your House. While your neighbours spend their time and money creating feng shui gardens and hiring expensive interior designers in an effort to make their home more fashionable and try to sell it, the age-old technique of actually adding something practical will see your home become more attractive to potential buyers.

3. For Workmen. If you have someone working in your garden or doing some decorating, they’re probably going to be coated in a layer of grime and gunk and the last thing you want is them walking through your house and making it all dirty. If you have a washroom downstairs that they can use you will be able to keep your upstairs clean.

4. For Visitors. Similarly, if you have a guest around then it is much easier to direct them to a downstairs washroom should they need to use the loo and it means not wondering what they are up to when they wander round your private space upstairs. You probably don’t invite thieves into your home, but it will help you remove temptation from anyone.

5. To Make Cleaning Easier. If you’re cleaning downstairs, then having an additional sink to get water from and toilet to dispose of dirty water in would make life easier. Although jogging back and forth up the stairs will keep you fitter.

6. To Keep The Home Smelling Fresh. Having a toilet that someone can use rather than stinking out the room that has your shower in will make the home smell nicer and make bathing more pleasurable. Particularly if anyone in the house is keen on their spicy food.

7. To Prevent Mold. This is an odd one, but if you use the same bathroom a lot you will find that it tends to stay damper and you may end up with something resembling a furry mushroom patch growing in a corner. However, if you split the use across two (or more) bathrooms then they won’t be as damp and you won’t have mold growing in them. This works best if you have the space to consider a shower, or even one of the many shower bath suites available.

February 10, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Bathroom Needs Renovating

Like most men, we take the 7 Reasons bathroom for granted. We don’t spend very long in there (certainly not together) and very rarely do we have a conversation about it. Today, though, that might have to change. Because today Stephanie Staszko is on the 7 Reasons sofa and Stephanie has just had a look at our bathroom. To be entirely honest, she wasn’t that impressed. According to her, it’s time for a change. And if your bathroom looks anything like the below, it’s probably time you got the builders and plumbers in too. Right, after the photo, it’ll be Stephanie.

This may (or may not) be the 7 Reasons bathroom

Everyday your bathroom burdens your life that little bit more, maybe it’s the pink bathtub fresh out of the 1970s that makes your blood boil? Or perhaps it’s the sink that refuses to accept water to flow down the plughole and so regurgitates it with tufts of hair? If you really want a bathroom makeover – but can’t find a good enough reason to splash the cash – here are a few 7 reasons to justify the expense…

1. The Toilet Seat of Doom. Everyone’s had that moment, when you’re desperate for the toilet and when you finally get there, you place your behind on the seat in satisfaction and release an “aaahhh”. But in some unfortunate circumstances this is closely followed by a sideways jolt, a skip of the heartbeat and the realisation that you could slowly be disappearing down the pan. If this sounds like your daily bathroom experience it’s time for a new toilet seat!

2. Mirror, Mirror On The Wall… Mirrors gather dirt and grime over time, making their visibility slowly deteriorate. If you find that you’re starting to look somewhat more attractive on a Monday morning it’s time for either an eye test or to replace that deceiving bathroom mirror. After all, you’re only kidding yourself!

3. Tap Dancing. Over excitable bathroom taps revel in your embarrassment. No matter how carefully you approach turning that handle to release a steady flow, the tap unleashes an almighty gush of water, destined only for one area: your crotch. As you leave the house displaying what resembles a bladder problem, it’s time you realised new taps could actually improve your social life.

4. Shower Power. After a hard day’s work you feel grimy and groggy, so what could possibly be more refreshing than a shower? That would be a hard question to answer if your shower head didn’t have a personal vendetta against your eyeball. As you turn on the spray and expect a warming sensation, you’re greeted unexpectedly with a powerful gush that ruins your retina. The perfect reason for a new bathroom – you don’t want to wind up blind.

5. Posterior Pincher. It seems toilet seats have a lot in common with sea creatures – particularly crabs. These toilet seats are particularly nasty as they trap the skin on your buttocks as you sit, sending you shooting into the air with the sharp pain of the pinch. One of these times it WILL result in a nasty accident.

6. Banana Skin Bathtub. Much like the slapstick comedies, the bottom of your bathtub can mimic the effect of stepping on a banana skin. Even if you’ve yet to be seriously injured by a slip, the fact that your stomach pretty much ends up in your mouth from every near death experience says that your bathroom suite’s a health hazard.

7. The Toe-Breaker. If you’ve tried your hand at DIY by hanging your own towel rail you may realise your toes could be in jeopardy. As you lift your towel with the utmost care so as not to dislodge the rail a sense of fear creeps over you as the rail ever-so slightly drops. If you’re considering wearing steel toe-capped boots for each bathroom venture then your towel rail needs replacing.

After reading this you’re probably too scared to ever step foot in your bathroom again. But fear not, bathroom suites which are correctly installed can actually be rather enjoyable to use. Get that toilet repaired and take your newspaper for some quiet, thinking time.

November 11, 2011
7 Reasons That a Dream Bath is Better Than an Actual Bath

Hello 7 Reasons readers! I have a confession to make. I love baths, but it turns out that for years I’ve been bathing wrong. I know this because this morning I had an epiphany (or should that be a baptism as I’m writing about baths). I woke up, having dreamt that I’d had a bath, and that dream bath was better than an actual bath. Here are seven reasons why.

Fortunately not my bath.

1. It Saved Time. The major problem with taking a bath – and the reason that most people end up settling for showers – is the amount of time it takes. It takes time to fill them up and you tend to spend a lot of time in them. This takes a substantial chunk out of the day. Dream baths, however, are different. You can spend hours in a dream bath and it’ll only take seconds out of your life. That’s time that you would have been using to sleep anyway. It’s like being given the gift of time but there’s no wrapping paper to recycle, which saves further time. It probably makes time.

2. It Was The Right Temperature. My dream bath was the correct temperature, which is approximately halfway between “Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!” and “Gah!” Actual baths are always intemperate and usually end up turning that initial cautious toe either red or blue. Or brown, if the bath hasn’t been cleaned.

3. I Was Able To Share It. Sharing an actual bath is seldom the dreamy, romantic pastime it is popularly portrayed as. When sharing a dream bath though, your eyes will already be closed so you can share it with absolutely anyone. I shared mine with my wife who was a reluctant and water-shy cat named Marmalade. Eventually she settled down and enjoyed the bath, right up until the moment that she morphed into a roof-tile and sank without trace at the tap-end, forcing me to eat the rest of the yoghurt alone.

4. Finding The Soap. In your actual bath, you’ll probably find that you spend approximately 8.4% of your time trying to find the soap that you’ve just dropped (which is not as surprising an experience as trying to find it when in prison, but it is still rather an irksome chore). In the dream bath, however, there’s always soap, probably from Lush. And you can bathe safe in the knowledge that it will never, ever have a pubic hair stuck to it. Unless, of course, that’s what you dream about, in which case you’re making my dreams seem positively conventional. And you should never sleep again.

5. No Interruption. My dream bath – unlike my actual baths – wasn’t interrupted by anyone knocking on the bathroom door asking to use the toilet. It was interrupted by a pelican asking for directions to Mr Bobble’s House of Wobbles, but I got rid of him simply by clapping my hands together and shouting “Muffins!” He was far easier to deal with than the desperate and persistent aspiring toilet-users that blight actual baths. Sometimes it seems that pregnant women want to pee just to spite you, and during a long bath, when you’re sharing a house with a pregnant lady, you can find yourself being spited several times. Then that finishes and for the next eighteen years you’ll have a child that will interrupt you in the bath. In my dream bath that did not happen. Obviously, my sleep was interrupted by the child, but that’s a slightly different thing. Probably.

6. No Cleaning. Unlike your actual bath, you’ll never have to clean your dream bath – unless you actually dream about cleaning baths, in which case, thank you, mine was spotless when I got in and I really enjoyed the scented candles and the petals floating on the surface. The meticulously constructed wigwam of bath-towels might have been a step too far though, but you won’t find me complaining. Not least because I can hide in the wigwam while I’m doing so. For other people that don’t clean baths in their sleep, the good news is you won’t have to clean the bath in your sleep. That’s good news.

7. Wake Refreshed And Ready. Nothing prepares you for your day like a dream bath because – like nothing – having a dream bath is not actually having a bath. You will, however, wake feeling refreshed, invigorated and ready for your day; I know I did. You’ll have to spend a large part of that day dodging mirrors and people with a sense of smell, but surely that’s a small price to pay for the amazing time saving and great start to the day. And how close do you really want people to stand to you anyway? With a dream bath, you can keep them at armpit’s length. It’s all win.

August 25, 2011
7 Reasons To Take Your Lady To A Spar

Today it is my lady’s birthday. ‘My’ being me, Jon, and ‘lady’ being Claire. In the midst of discussing what she would like to do for her big day, I discovered that she’d really like to go to Bath Spar. My initial reaction was one of questioning. ‘Really?’ I thought, ‘You want to go to a Spar for your birthday?’ And then it dawned on me. She didn’t mean a Spar, she meant a spa. I thought about it. I did some research. I tried my swimming trunks on. And in the end I came to the conclusion that taking your lady to a Spar is so much better than taking her to a spa. Here’s why.

1. Types Of Water. Bath Spa offers warm water. Spar offers natural still water, spring water, purified water, mineral water, sparkling water, elderflower water, tonic water, isotonic water and loads of other waters that I really can’t be bothered to look up. That doesn’t matter though, I have offered enough. For variety take your lady to Spar. For tepid results take her to a spa.

2. Products. In a Spar you can purchase a vast range of suncreams, fake tans, cosmetics and plasters. All are new and nicely packaged. In a spa, while they may be free, these products are certainly not new. They are all mixed together along with hairs and dead skin cells and happily float about on top of the water. Who in their right mind would wish to expose their loved one to such an environment on their birthday?

3. Dressing Gowns. A spa is a fantastic place hiding place for people who have escaped from hospital. They’ll blend in seamlessly. You’ll have absolutely no idea which dressing gown adorned visitor is healthy, ill or dangerous. At least if you see someone in a Spar attired in just their dressing gown you know they’ll be recaptured very soon. Or they’ll head back to their halls of residence.

4. Sights. Let’s be honest, there are some people who perhaps don’t look after themselves as well as they should. As a result they are fatties. Fatties with clothes on the majority of us can just about bear, but fatties with no clothes on are a sight we wish we never have to witness. Spar, being a decent public service provider, have a rule. ‘Shoppers must wear clothes’. A spa of course just lets anyone and anything in.

5. Boredom. I have never been to a spa before but from what I hear there is a lot of sitting around in water doing not very much. A bit like when you fall asleep after Sunday lunch. I have, however, been to many a Spar. And many a Spar sells magazines and newspapers and even the occasional DVD. So the choice is simple. Take my lady to a spa so she’ll be bored for two hours or take her to a Spar where she can relax with a film, magazine and six hundred bottles of wine? I’m not an idiot.

6. Entry Fee. For a two-hour session at the Bath Spa it costs £25 per person. For a two-hour session at a Spar (not necessarily in Bath) it is free. This should be enough to persuade you, but should you need further evidence keep reading. If you don’t like the Spar, you can leave. You need not feel guilty about doing so and no one will ask you why. If you don’t like the spa however, what do you do? Well you’ll probably pretend that you do like it for a start. And then you’ll stay for the whole two hours so you get your money’s worth. There’s a complete logic fail in there somewhere. A massive one.

7. Associated Costs. So you’ve been in the spa. Now you’ve got to dry yourself and re-apply any make-up, hair wax or fake nails you may have lost. Then, when you get home, you have to use electricity to wash and dry your swimsuit and towel. This is all costing you money. When was the last time you went to a Spar and had to wash your towel because of it? Exactly, never. I’m not making my lady do unnecessary washing on her birthday. And neither should you.

*Happy Birthday Claire. Have a great day.

April 26, 2011
7 Reasons That You Shouldn’t Knock on the Front Door When I’m in the Bath

Yesterday, while I was bathing, someone knocked on the front door. They shouldn’t have. Here are seven reasons why.

1. Doubt. I’m lying in the bath. I’m wet. I’m not about to get up to answer the door, it’ll be bloody cold standing on the doorstep with only a towel around my waist and five chest hairs to keep me warm, so of course I’m going to lie here. But what if it’s important? What if there’s a gas leak and they’ve come to alert me? What if the house next door is on fire? What if the police have come to warn me that there’s an axe-murderer on the loose?

2. Foreboding. What if it is the axe-murderer? I’m alone in the house with my cat. An axe-murderer wouldn’t be satisfied with hacking the cat to death, that wouldn’t even be murder. That would be animal cruelty. That would probably be an assault to the dignity of the axe-murderer: It would be a demotion from axe-murderer to cruel man (with axe). He’d be a laughing stock. He would be shunned by the other axe-murderers. That would never do.

3. Fear. What if he’s the sort of axe-murderer who doesn’t want to chop me into a barely identifiable pulp of blood, flesh and sinew right away? What if he’s the kind that’s on the run and wants somewhere to hide for a while; menacing my cat with his axe in the living room while I tell the police at the door that I haven’t seen anyone and that I’m alone in the house? I don’t want one of those. It’ll be hours before my wife comes home and I can hide behind her. Hours.

4. Terror. What if he needs to hide out for a couple of days? What in the hell would we feed him? We’ve had snow here for two weeks and the shops haven’t had much in; all we would have to offer him are vast quantities of limoncello and Twiglets. And I doubt that axe-murderers even like Twiglets. After all, I bloody love Twiglets and I’m the total opposite of an axe-murderer; I’m a no-axed-not-murderer, or as we’re more commonly known, a victim. So, the axe-murderer will have lots to drink, but nothing to eat. So he’ll be drunk, and he’ll be cross. He’ll be a drunken, angry, axe-murderer which, I rather suspect, is the worst sort.

5. Twiglets. What if he does like Twiglets? Because these aren’t just any Twiglets. Oh no. These are the Christmas Twiglets. The Twiglets that I’m not allowed to touch. The Twiglets that no one is allowed to touch, or even gaze directly at for a prolonged period. Not until Christmas Twiglet season begins at 9pm on the 24th of December. I’ve made that mistake before and there were consequences. And now I know better than to breach the sanctity of the Christmas Twiglets. In fact, I seem to remember that, following the incident that has come to be known as Christmas-Twiglet-gate, my wife told me that if I ever ate the Christmas Twiglets again (outside of the clearly defined time-frame) that she would kill me. So that’s it. It’s Hobson’s bloody choice. If the axe-murderer likes Twiglets I can either tell him he can’t have any and he’ll kill me with an axe, or I can let him have them and my wife will kill me without an axe (with a handbag probably, or her soup). Basically, I’m fucked.

6. Reflection. When was the last time I saw an axe-murderer? I haven’t seen any for ages. I don’t think I’ve seen one since The Shining. There used to be loads of them. Absolutely bloody loads, but their numbers seem to have declined. They seem to have had some sort of heyday in the late 1940s when they were menacing Fred MacMurray and Ida Lupino in a remote California farmhouse most weekends, and then their numbers appear to have dwindled away to nothing. So, in all probability, it wasn’t an axe-murderer that knocked on my door about sixty minutes ago.

7. Resolution. My fingers are wrinkly, I’m cold, and my left knee has literally turned blue. I have other things to do. I’m supposed to be writing tomorrow’s 7 Reasons piece. I’m not even supposed to be thinking about the Christmas Twiglets. I’m not allowed to do that until the 22nd. You’ve just stolen an hour of my life and caused me think dangerous thoughts and turned my knee a funny colour (somewhere between cobalt and Prussian blue). Damn you, whoever you are/were. Next time, I’m coming down in my towel. To my death, probably.

December 9, 2010
7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Date A Polar Bear

1. Inuits, Yupiks, Chukchis, Nenets and Russian Pomors. You are really going to piss them off. To them, a polar bear is the ultimate utility. They use the fur for trousers, fat for fuel, the gallbladder for medicinal purposes and the teeth as amulets. You start dating a polar bear and the Inuits are going to have to start walking around with bare legs.

2. Bathroom Usage. If you do insist on dating a polar bear, then you have to understand one thing. You will never be able to use your bath again. The polar bear will see this as their natural environment. They will sleep in it, splash around in it, hunt in it and get bath salts in uncomfortable places in it. You’ll also get the water board investigating a major leak.

3. Eating. A polar bear’s diet isn’t a very mixed one. They like seals. Particularly bearded ones. It’s not the most comfortable thing to have to order in the local Harry Ramsdens. Especially when you have to add that the polar bear is going to batter it themselves.

4. Meeting The Parents. Never the easiest thing to do. Especially when you’re dating a polar bear. Thankfully, your parents were very understanding/scared and so those introductions went swimmingly. Literally. You all met in your bath. Now though, it’s your turn to meet the polar bear’s parents. In the Arctic. You think you’ve prepared well. You have all the thermals on and a distress flare stuffed down your trousers. Nothing can go wrong. Until you meet them. And you realise they all look the bloody same.

5. Games. We may be getting older, but there is a still a bit of the child in all of us. Some more than others it must be said. Occasionally we do like to be a bit silly and play a game. Catch, Frisbee, Twister etc. These are all fine and I can assure you that the polar bear will love them. What you don’t want to play, though, is Hide & Seek. Particularly if your walls are painted white. You’re going to be playing for bloody ages.

6. Habits. It would be nice to think that on your return home after a long day at work, the polar bear has made a nice meal for you. Unfortunately this is little more than wishful thinking. All too regularly you’ll come home to find them perched atop a pile of ice cubes watching Seal or No Seal on the Nature Channel.

7. Romance. Against all the odds, it is going well. You’ve got over the fact that seal whiskers are being left all over the bathroom floor and the polar bear no longer smacks you around the side of the head whenever you pop a Fox’s Glacier Mint into your mouth. It might be time to move it to the next level. You’ve taken the polar bear out for the evening, wine and dined and danced the night away, now you are in the taxi. A paw gently brushes your thigh before the polar bear moves towards your ear and whispers, ‘I’m going to eat you alive later’.

July 16, 2010
7 Reasons That Baths are Better Than Showers

1. Charity. We don’t know of any instances where showers have made any money for charity, but baths have probably raised millions for charity over the years. From bank managers sitting in baths full of baked beans, to bank mangers sitting in baths full of custard, from bank managers being rolling down the High Street in a bath, to bank managers paddling down the local river in a bath, it’s all about the bath. And bank managers.

2. Thought. No one thinks in a shower. They’re too busy scraping, scrubbing and rubbing while their senses are being assaulted by noisy, powerful, intrusive jets of water. Baths, like libraries, on the other hand, are quiet places of studious contemplation. Archimedes famously worked out how to determine the integrity of gold while in his bath. Churchill conducted a large part of his Second World War campaign from his bath, often dictating notes and occasionally holding meetings there. A good deal of this website was devised in the bath. Nothing good ever came of showering.

3. Fun. Showers are humourless. Baths are fun. Are there any shower toys? No. There are loads of bath toys available though, including submarines, ducks and battleships. There are also good jokes related to baths. My wife often asks me how long I’m going to be in the bath, and I always reply “6’2”.” This joke doesn’t work with a shower as, because of the standing position, 6’2” is your height rather than your length. Unless you are not 6’2”, in which case you’d have to modify the joke and my wife probably wouldn’t enquire this of you in the first place. You see, showers cock everything up.

4. Words. In popular phraseology, showers are seen as a bad thing. Ever heard the parade-ground phrase “you lot are a right shower?” It usually precedes some sort of punishment for tardiness. Being a shower is bad. There’s a popular phrase about baths too, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater”. In this phrase we are being urged not to do anything to harm the baby with the bathwater. The baby with the bathwater is something that we should preserve. The baby with the bathwater is something that shouldn’t be discarded. This is because bathwater is precious. Probably.

5. Verbs. You switch on a shower; you draw a bath.

6. Flatulence. Breaking wind in the shower is dull. Breaking wind in the bath is a Jacuzzi.

7. Fast. The prime motive for using a shower is because it is fast. Being fast is often the wrong motive for doing anything. Go and stand outside your local branch of McDonald’s for a few minutes and look at the people who consume fast food, is fast good? Test cricket fans, is fast good? Ladies, is fast good? People who’ve been chased by a horse, is fast good? Hungry people, is fast good? Stuck people, is fast good? The answer is no, fast is not good. Nor are showers, they’re bloody rubbish.

December 23, 2009