7 Reasons

Tag: animal

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Be A Vegetarian

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Be A Vegetarian

    With the 7 Reasons sofa still state side, it’s understandable that there is quite a queue next to it. First to jump into the guest post hot seat is Breanna Carter. Before we get to Breanna’s post, though, a warning. If you like your turkey it might be worth waiting until after Christmas before you read this.

    7 Reasons To Be A Vegetarian

    Ever since we chased down prey with rudimentary tools on the African savannah, the human race has always been a carnivorous one. Our medieval kings ate pheasant, our oil barons steak, and beef and poultry have increasingly become staples of consumption in the Western world. But recent decades has also seen the rise of vegetarianism, and more people now eschew meat than ever before. Most of these people are driven by either health or humanitarian concerns. While these reasons are arguably the strongest argument for vegetarianism, there are other supporting points as well. Here, then, are the seven main reasons for being a vegetarian:

    1.  Healthier. To be sure, health is a key reason for dropping meat from your diet. Diets high in meat, after all, are almost invariably high in fat as well. There are many ways of getting the protein provided by meat without the unneeded fat, meaning that there’s really no health downside to being a vegetarian. Furthermore, most unhealthy fast food products include meat; being a vegetarian provides a good impetus to stop eating at such establishments.

    2.  Less Chance of Disease. Undercooked and diseased meat results in thousands of sicknesses and recalls each year. While unwashed vegetables may occasionally contain bacteria and cause food poisoning, your chance of getting serious ill from your food – although low – is much higher when it comes to meat.

    3.  More Humane. This one goes without saying, but a diet that doesn’t include meat also doesn’t include any animal that was killed for your consumption. This has become even more significant in recent years, as stories have repeatedly emerged detailing cruel practices at slaughterhouses. You don’t need to be a die-hard animal lover to sympathize with a cow who faces a painful death.

    4.  Cheaper. Meat products are almost always some of the most expensive items being sold at a given grocery store. One pound of rice or beans – compared with one pound of meat – is far less expensive and far more nutritious. Consequently, your grocery budget would stand to drop noticeably if you made the switch to vegetarianism.

    5.  More Eco-Friendly. As you’ve probably heard, it takes up much more land and many more resources to raise a group of cows than to grow a field of produce. With the world population skyrocketing, arable land becoming more scare, and food prices on the rise, a sustained move to vegetarianism would vastly reduce the resources we consume on a global level.

    6.  Confers Status. In some circles, vegetarians are not well-regarded and could probably use some reputation management assistance. In others, however, those who forgo meat are respected and admired. If you travel in the latter type of circle, your switch to vegetarianism could thus have an added social benefit.

    7.  Better for Your Bowels. Even though humans have been carnivores since our earliest days, our bodies are much better equipped to process plant and grain products than animal ones. If you suffer from bowel issues, then, becoming a vegetarian could vastly improve your day-to-day level of comfort.

    So there you have it: seven reasons to be a vegetarian. Although meat can be tasty and high in protein, it ultimately just cannot compete.

  • 7 Reasons Not To Have A Staring Contest With The BBC One Ident Hippo

    7 Reasons Not To Have A Staring Contest With The BBC One Ident Hippo

    For one reason – which is why it doesn’t qualify for this site – I had to live pause the TV last night so that Claire and I could watch The Apprentice together. I paused the TV when the Hippo ident was showing. The exact point at which I paused is shown below. Knowing that I had at least fifteen minutes before I could press play, I had a choice. Start the ironing or have a staring contest with the hippo. I chose the latter. This is my story (of why it was a stupid idea).

     

    7 Reasons Not To Have A Staring Contest With The BBC One Ident Hippo

     

    1.  Winning. From the moment I even contemplated staring at the hippo I knew I was going to lose. The only way I could have won is if we had had a power cut. (An unlikely scenario unless I was to attack the fuse box with a cucumber). And yet, despite being fully aware of the highly probable outcome, I still entered the battle. It was pointless, it was a waste of time and I was always going to finish second. Or last. Whichever didn’t come first really. For someone who enjoys winning it was a bizarre and futile decision that did me no favours. When the inevitable did happen a little bit of my aura had been destroyed. I’m was no longer the man I once was. So if you are ever tempted, don’t do it. You’ll never be the same again.

     

    2.  Distractions. A couple of minutes into the contest my phone rang. Now, even if I don’t answer my phone, I nearly always look at the display to see who I am going to ignore. It’s a habit. While on this occasion I was strong enough to ignore it, my mind was no longer on the job in hand. It was on who might be calling me. Was it Claire saying she’d be longer than she initially thought? Was it my Mum wondering where the rest of her Mother’s Day present was? Was it Marc wanting to sell me a baby? To this very minute I am not sure if my line of vision flinched towards my phone or not. It’s impossible to say. What I do know is, it did me no favours. When you are staring at a Hippo – especially a picture of one on the TV – you have to be in the zone and you have to stay in the zone. Distractions are zone killers.

     

    3.  Fish. I gave myself the benefit of the doubt. I told myself that my line of vision had not altered and so, if I was able, I may re-enter the zone. And, after a few minutes, that is what happened. I know this is what happened because my focus began to drift. The hippo was now a blurred hippo. And then the blurred hippo wasn’t a hippo at all. It was a fish. A fish in side-profile. A scary fish in side-profile. I mean this thing was ugly. It had a pair of lips Leslie Ash would have been proud of and a scaly body that reminded me of this. I am not sure this will work for you – in fact I am not sure I want it to work for you – but if you have a spare ten minutes just stare at the hippo above. If you’re unlucky the fish should appear across the lop of the hippo’s head. The lips appear in the hippo’s right eye if that helps.

     

    4.  Guilt. Having rid myself of visions of Piers Morgan and Leslie Ash’s illegitimate child, I then experienced severe pangs of guilt. The hippo was drowning. I had done that. I had paused the hippo and made him tread water. Twelve hours on I am pretty sure he wasn’t drowning at all. I am pretty sure this was pre-recorded footage and all I had done was paused its progress. But at the time, when you’ve been staring at a hippo for approximately thirteen minutes, that type of rational thought doesn’t enter your mind. You really do feel like a hippo murderer.

     

    5.  Terror. This is when you realise that the hippo is staring back at you. And he looks angry. Probably because you have made him tread-water for fifteen minutes. He also looks a bit like a crocodile with his nostrils protruding from the water. And that’s when you start panicking. Are you actually on BBC One? Are you sure you’re not watching – and recording – Animal Planet? Do you even have the Animal Planet channel? Is there even a channel called Animal Planet? So, yes. Staring at a hippo for too long makes you go mad. Really quite mad.

     

    6.  Visions. When Claire eventually arrived beside me on the sofa and gave me an opportunity to end my ordeal, I realised it wouldn’t be over for a little while longer. All the staring at a bright screen in an otherwise dark environment left me looking through those annoying colour blotches that you are only supposed to get when your eyes are closed. As one does in such circumstances I shut my eyes to try and get rid of them. This didn’t work. Instead I was faced with a vision of the hippo. In sort of a yellow and red mosaic. A mosaic that slowly began to disperse. Which is when I decided I was through and settled back to watch The Apprentice. With the occasional appearance from a fish.

     

    7.  Tea. I can barely bring myself to write the words. It went cold.

  • 7 Reasons I Ended Up Appearing Quite Mad Yesterday (Even Though I’m Not)

    7 Reasons I Ended Up Appearing Quite Mad Yesterday (Even Though I’m Not)

    Sometimes, when you’re sitting around, minding your own business, an event occurs.  An event to which you are compelled to react.  And, while your reaction is brilliantly conceived and perfectly rational, a chain of events ensues that eventually makes you appear irredeemably, unutterably, stupendously mad.  Like yesterday.

    A cat, standing on a brick wall
    This is not my neighbour's cat, nor is it my cat, nor is it my wall. This cat on a wall is from the internet.

    While I was writing, a cat appeared on the six foot high wall at the bottom of my garden.  One of next door’s cats.  Now, I don’t want any of next door’s cats in my garden, because it’s where my cat lives.  I want him to be able spend his time in the garden sleeping, licking, and staring at the gate unmolested by other cats.  So I had to let the other cat know that he wasn’t welcome in our garden.  Now I know how to scare a cat; it’s easy.  But going outside and hissing and shouting at this cat wasn’t going to convey the right message.  I needed to let the interloper know he was in another cat’s territory, and that he should stay away.

    1.  Plan A.  I went and fetched my dozing cat from the sofa.  My cat didn’t want to know.  I showed him the intruder through the dining room window.  He saw the other cat and ignored him.  This was disappointing.  This isn’t going to scare anyone I thought, as my cat fell asleep on the windowsill.  This wouldn’t even scare mice.  Nervous mice.

    2.  Plan B. Right, I thought.  If the sight of my cat asleep on the windowsill isn’t enough to strike the fear of god into the intruder, I’ll have to escalate things.  I’ll have to send my cat out to deal with him.  I woke him up, reminded him of the presence of the other cat and carried him into the utility room.  I placed him on the floor, next to his cat-flap; I delivered a rousing speech to him and then opened it so that he could sally forth to dispatch his foe.  He didn’t move.  He sat and purred at me.  I tried to usher him through his flap, but he clearly wasn’t going to go.  My cat, I thought, is a disappointment.

    3.  Plan C.  I know, I’ll open the back door really loudlyIf I can’t scare him away with a cat, then at least opening the door loudly will make the intruder run; and my cat might conceivably think that he’s the one causing him to flee in terror and emerge with feline dignity intact and be that bit braver next time.  As loudly as I could, I unlocked the door and, with as much speed and force as I could muster, I heaved the door open.  I was rewarded with the sight of a terror-stricken cat, fleeing for its life.  Bugger, I thought, as I went to retrieve him from behind the sofa.  This isn’t going well.

    4.  Plan D.  I picked him up, returned to the utility room and carried him through the back door.  “Look”, I said to the other cat, “I have a cat here and I’m not afraid to use him”.  The other cat was not as moved by our presence as I had hoped that he would be.  Impassively, he licked his paw and turned his head away.

    5.  Plan E.  Okay, I clearly wasn’t being terrifying enough.  I raised our cat above my head so that he was higher up than the cat on our wall.  This will do it, I thought, there are only two things that can possibly go through the other cat’s mind.  One: “Blimey!  What the hell is that hideous giant cat/man hybrid creature over there, I’d better run for it”.  Or two: “ Blimey!  Look what that man’s doing to that feckless fat-cat from next door.  I’m probably next.  I’d better run for it.” But if these things went through his mind, he didn’t show it; unless this cat instinctively displays abject terror by blinking slowly, that is.  I was going to have to get nearer.

    6.  Plan F.  With my arms fully outstretched, cat held aloft, above my head; I charged toward the other cat.  It didn’t move.  I was closing quickly and when I got to within eight feet it still hadn’t moved.

    7.  Plan G.  Realising that my charge wasn’t unnerving enough, I decided that I needed a war cry, and I began to roar (at a volume which surprised even me) as I charged through the garden.  But the other cat still hadn’t moved, and I was almost upon it.  I realised it needed a little more time to realise the desperate situation it was in, so I pulled away at the last moment to run a lap of my garden, still roaring and, as my cat and I rounded the top of the garden and turned to face the enemy once more I saw him react, startled, jump down from the wall and run.  My jubilation was short lived.  I also saw…

    …My neighbour emerge from her back door, the sound of which had presumably – unbeknownst to her, as she couldn’t possibly have seen it – scared the other cat away.  I slowed to a halt and stopped roaring.  “Hi”, I said, breezily, realising I still had the cat above my head, and that I probably looked quite foolish.

    “Er…Hi”, she replied.

    I felt self-conscious, and it occurred to me that some sort of explanation of my behaviour was required.  “I was just scaring the cat”.

    “I’m not surprised”, she replied.

  • 7 Reasons That This Picture Is Amazing

    7 Reasons That This Picture Is Amazing

    A friend of mine sent me this picture.  And it’s amazing.  Here are seven reasons why.

    A cute picture of three pigs (two adults and a piglet) eating.

    1.  It’s Cute.  Just look at the sweet little pig feeding between the bigger pigs.  Look how sweet and little and cute he is.  Awwww.  What a lovely, heart-warming, rustic scene.

    2.  It’s Compelling. The cute pig picture was on my monitor when my wife was walking past the room and, having glimpsed it, she was beside me within a nanosecond, looking rather flustered and seemingly unable to take her eyes off it.  “Isn’t the little piggy cute?”  I enquired.  “Errr…er…yes”, she replied, before wandering off, looking back at it over her shoulder a couple of times as she left the room.

    3.  It’s Unexpected. The friend that sent me the picture of the cute pig did so in an email entitled Not What You Think.  And he was right.  Because usually when I get an email from him it contains some sort of smut or a horrific example of Darwinism.  The last thing I expected was a nice animal picture.  It seems that seeing the cute pig has brought out my friend’s better side.

    4.  It Brings Out Deep-Rooted Primitive Beliefs. Using my phone I showed another friend the picture of the cute piggy while we were in a bar and his reaction was extraordinary.  After a couple of seconds looking at the picture, he grabbed my phone and tried to hide it under the table.  I can only imagine he thought that by looking at the picture we were stealing the pig’s soul, but I never got the chance to ask because…

    5.  It’s Awesome. So awesome that the sight of it caused a woman seated a couple of tables behind us to gasp audibly and point, slack-jawed in our direction.  This was unnerving and we left quite soon after.  But not before I observed that…

    6.  It’s Inspirational.  Because the gasping woman was obviously very taken with the cute piggy; I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but when her friend came back from the toilet she seemed very excited and spent several minutes telling her about the picture in a breathless and animated manner.  She pointed many more times, and touched her ruddy cheeks a lot.  The cuteness of the piggy seemed to have affected her greatly.  Hormones, I expect.

    7.  It’s Baffling. Because I like the cute pig; I like the little fella a lot, don’t get me wrong.  But other people seem extraordinarily taken with him, and there are other, cuter animal pictures out there that don’t provoke such a reaction.  This one, for example:

    a cute picture of baby red pandas in a tree

    Awww.  Much cuter.

  • 7 Reasons a Komodo Dragon is the Ideal Pet

    7 Reasons a Komodo Dragon is the Ideal Pet

    The Komodo dragon:  A carnivorous lizard that can grow up to 9.8 feet in length might, to the uninformed layman, seem like a poor choice of pet.  But it isn’t.  The Komodo dragon is, in fact, the ideal domestic animal for many people.  And here are seven reasons why.

    A large Komodo dragon from the island of Komodo walking on the beach in the sand by the sea with its tongue sticking out

    1.  They’re Cool. Just look at it!  It’s a veritable behemoth of a dinosaur/land-crocodile/lumbering monster.  It’s got a forked tongue and a pointy tail!  It makes next door’s dog look rubbish in comparison.  In fact, it will probably eat next door’s dog.  Then you won’t have to put up with the damned thing barking at aeroplanes and at your bicycle all night.  You’ll be the envy of your neighbourhood because being the owner of a Komodo dragon is cool, and being the owner of a missing dog is not cool.  Even if you do a very good job on the posters.

    2.  Health. For elderly people, a pet can be most advantageous to their health.  A small dog can keep them company and provide them with stimulation in the form of exercise.  But, for young, active people, a small dog doesn’t go far enough.  You need larger, more demanding pet.  The physical and mental challenge of getting past a Komodo dragon in your hallway every morning will leave you feeling alive, alert and invigorated.  If you are successful, that is.  If you’re not successful then at least you may have lost some weight. And you’ll be better motivated the next time.  And how many limbs do you really need anyway?

    3.  Eggs.  Komodo dragons lay eggs.  This is beneficial as the conventional method of getting fresh eggs is to keep chickens, which are scary creatures with cruel, unblinking eyes and alarmingly pointed beaks that make clucking noises and peck you when you’re not expecting it.  But if you keep a Komodo dragon as a pet, you can have fresh eggs for breakfast without ever having to suffer the presence of a chicken again.

    4.  Return To A Simpler, Bygone Age. “It was much better in my day”, we’re often told by nostalgic elders, wistfully pining for a return to the society of their youth; “we could go out all day and leave our doors unlocked”.  And with a Komodo dragon as your pet, you too will be able to go out all day and leave your doors unlocked.  Hell, if your Komodo dragon grows big enough, you won’t even need doors.  And if the elderly are to be believed, this will be bloody marvellous.  In the fullness of time, you’ll be able to bore your grandkids senseless about how nice it was in your day without keys/locks/doors/bolts/alarms or any other security paraphernalia, just good old Tufty guarding the house and the odd bobby on the beat strolling by.  That’s if your grandchildren haven’t been eaten by Tufty, of course.  And even if they have been, that’s all the more Werther’s Original and Jamaica ginger cake for you.  There is literally no downside to Komodo dragon ownership.

    5.  Feeding. Now I know what you’re thinking and stop that right now: He will not find you less attractive if you wear the shoes with the smaller heels, and she will not notice that the browsing history’s disappeared from the laptop again.  Well, she will now, I should never have mentioned it.  Sorry.  Anyway, I also know that you’re thinking:  A Komodo dragon will eat me out of house and home; surely I’d be better off getting a cat. But you’re wrong.  Because cats need feeding twice a day, and Komodo dragons can eat on as few as twelve occasions per year, which is 718 less feeds per annum than a cat requires.  Admittedly your Komodo dragon will probably need something more substantial than a bowl of Whiskas; a couple of kilograms of mince, perhaps.  Or a goat.  But that still seems like less food than a cat would consume.  In fact, you may never need to feed it at all as, if you let your Komodo dragon out of the house, it will happily forage for pedestrians all by itself.

    6. Reproduction. Now I’m not an expert on the reproductive systems of Komodo dragons but, at 7 Reasons (.org) we are nothing if not well-researched.*  And, during the initial minute of my study into fauna native to the island of Komodo, I unearthed this amazing fact:  The Komodo dragon does not have a diaphragm.  This is great for the Komodo dragon owner, as it means that they’ll be fantastically easy to breed: The female won’t have to disappear to the bathroom for ages beforehand, and the male won’t get bored waiting and begin to think about chips.  You can’t argue with science like that.  A little knowledge truly does go a long way.

    7.  Home Movies. Many owners film their pets and then show the movies to their friends.  But other people’s pets are really dull (unless they have a Komodo dragon, of course).  And friends and family can only stand to watch a film of your hamster chewing some string or your cat staring at a gate so many times before their thoughts begin to turn to murder.  But if you had a Komodo dragon, built a small set, and filmed in a B-movie style, your pet-movies would be like Godzilla.  And that would be beyond amazing.  That would be so awesome that we’d need to invent a new word for it:  Preferably one that will survive predictive text and is easy to type with the odd missing digit/hand, and while running down a hallway.

    I have finished writing now, so go forth to your pet shops and purchase Komodo dragons.**

    *The words nothing and if are entirely superfluous.

    **7 Reasons (.org) is not legally responsible for anything.  At all.