tumblr site counter

7 Reasons To Refer To Ourselves In The Third Person

Posted on October 24, 2011 in Posts | 76 comments

What’s the worst thing that you can do during a conversation with anyone? Well okay, there are probably many things that spring to mind, but up at the top of the list, somewhere between murder and suddenly removing your trousers is referring to yourself in the third person, which is an abominable thing to do. But is it? What if we all did it? It might not necessarily be the worst thing that could happen. Here are seven reasons why.

7 Reasons To Refer To Ourselves In The Third Person

1.  It Would Lessen The Impact. What’s your first reaction to hearing someone refer to himself in the third person? That’s right: Shock. On encountering anyone structuring a sentence in this manner the encountee is usually flabbergasted, dumbstruck, stupefied and not a little appalled. Self-doubt can even feature: Wait! Did he just refer to himself in the third person? Surely not. If we all referred to ourselves in the third person, it would come as less of a shock.

2.  It Would De-stigmatise It. Once (or if) you recover from the resultant shock and self doubt that arises from an encounter with someone that refers to himself in the third person (Craig David Listener Syndrome, to use the correct medical term) there’s another reaction: He did! What a egomaniacal pillock! What a pompous pudding head! What an numb-skulled narcissistic nitwit! If we all referred to ourselves in the third person, we wouldn’t draw this unkind – though perfectly reasonable – conclusion about the few people that do this now.

3.  It Would Be Useful. I have a deep-seated social flaw (other than the ability to make hostile idiots furious by writing about some meal deal). I can’t remember names. Well, actually, I can remember some names, though usually not the ones of anyone I’m conversing with at the time, or if I do it’s invariably the wrong one. For six years I referred to my nieces as Natalie and The Ginger One, but it turns out that I was wrong there too. It was Nadia, not Natalie. Imagine how brilliant it would be if everyone used their own name in conversation, as no one would ever forget another name again. It would be even better than name badges, which – to people that can’t remember names and feel uncomfortable about their inability to remember them – are just a cruel trick:

“Have you forgotten my name again, Marc?”

“No…er…Joanne, I was just…staring at your breast.”

If we all referred to ourselves in the third person, this would stop.

4.  It Would Prick Pomposity. And pompous pricks need their pomposity pricked. It’s safe to say that if he had had to utter the sentence “Muammar bin Mohammad bin Abdussalam bi Humayd bin Abu Manyar bin Humayd bin Nayil al Fuhsi Gaddafi needs to visit the little boys room” every time he had needed to use the toilet he would have soon tired of it and renamed himself Kevin or something equally simple. Ever heard of a tyrant called Kevin? No. If we all referred to ourselves in the third person, there’d be less self-aggrandisement and egomania.

5.  It Would Improve The Internet. One of the absolute best things about the internet is Youtube, where you can see or hear just about anything (so long as it doesn’t contain anything that Sony BMG have even breathed near). But what’s the worst thing about Youtube? Yes, the seemingly boundless trolling and abuse. The blinkered partisanship and casual racism. Having to refer to oneself in the third person would change all this. Comments like “Chad Thompson says that you should get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich” would soon put a stop to that odious meme. Or, if not, they would soon be followed by “Chad Thompson’s Mom says Chad Thompson is grounded and can’t use the internet for two weeks. Chad Thompson’s Mom says that Chad Thompson’s Mom won’t be going to the kitchen to make Chad Thompson a sandwich any time soon. Chad Thompson’s Mom says that Chad Thompson can go to the kitchen and make Chad Thompson’s Mom a sandwich.” If we all referred to ourselves in the third person, there’d be less nastiness. Or more sandwiches.

6.  It Would Be A Guide To Pronunciation. Are you unable to pronounce simple names? Do you find it hard to enunciate even the simplest and most commonly-heard monikers? In that case, hello BBC Radio 5Live’s Stephen Nolan, welcome to 7 Reasons! Oh, and help is at hand. Now that your callers will have to pronounce their own names when proffering an opinion you’ll soon learn that Marc is not pronounced mork, Will is not pronounced well and Siobhan is actually pronounced…no…no one knows the answer to that, but if we all referred to ourselves in the third person we’d find out.

7.  It Would Be Good For Me. I have a two syllable name. Or, to be quite clear, two names of one syllable each. This would mean that in any conversation I’d spend very little time saying my own name and more time saying the important, fascinating and scintillating things about…er…er…tiramisu and cats and stuff? Well, whatever, at least I’d know who I was saying them to. That would be a start.

      Share this post on Tumblr  stumble  Google+   



76 Comments

  1. discount prescription drug works as well as viagra viagra what dosage?

  2. viagra cialis melbourne site:au cialis without precription discount cialis from india

  3. order viagra australia viagra with dapoxetine online viagra on sale edmonton

  4. cialis in Г¤gypten kaufen alguien ha usado cialis cialis high blood pressure

  5. no verification payday loan direct lender fox enterprises payday loans payday loans consolidation canada

  6. payday loans las vegas nevada cash advance east broad st cash advance kad kredit

  7. cialis fieber cialis junge männer costo del cialis 5 mg

  8. buy real viagra online india viagra price in canada viagra 100 mg tablets

  9. is viagra safe for 20 year olds best online pharmacy for viagra viagra and weed

  10. I really like it when people come together and share thoughts.
    Great website, continue the good work!

  11. I’ve been surfing online more than 4 hours today,
    yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth
    enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made
    good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever before.

  12. I enjoy what you guys are usually up too. This type of clever
    work and coverage! Keep up the wonderful works guys I’ve included you guys to my personal blogroll.

  13. Hi there, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just curious
    if you get a lot of spam responses? If so how do
    you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can suggest?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any
    support is very much appreciated.

  14. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this write-up and the rest of the
    site is also really good.

  15. It’s the best time to make a few plans for the long
    run and it is time to be happy. I’ve learn this publish and
    if I may I wish to counsel you some fascinating issues or suggestions.

    Perhaps you could write next articles regarding this article.
    I desire to learn more issues about it!

  16. I visit everyday a few web pages and sites to read content, however this weblog offers quality based articles.

  17. Hi there, I read your new stuff daily. Your writing style is witty, keep doing what you’re doing!

  18. Ahaa, its fastidious discussion regarding this post here at this web site, I have read
    all that, so at this time me also commenting at
    this place.

  19. I’ve been browsing online more than 2 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if
    all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before.

  20. I have been surfing online greater than three hours lately, yet
    I by no means found any fascinating article like yours.
    It is pretty price enough for me. In my opinion, if
    all webmasters and bloggers made just right content material as you did, the
    internet might be a lot more helpful than ever before.

  21. Everyone loves it whenever people come together and share ideas.

    Great site, keep it up!

  22. I’ll immediately grasp your rss as I can not find your email subscription hyperlink or newsletter
    service. Do you have any? Please allow me recognize
    so that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

  23. I’d also like to mention that most individuals who find themselves with out health insurance are typically students, self-employed and those that are unemployed. More than half in the uninsured are under the age of Thirty five. They do not sense they are needing health insurance as they are young as well as healthy. Its income is often spent on homes, food, in addition to entertainment. A lot of people that do work either whole or as a hobby are not provided insurance by way of their jobs so they head out without due to the rising expense of health insurance in the states. Thanks for the concepts you discuss through this website.

  24. It’s perfect time to make a few plans for the long run and it’s time to be
    happy. I’ve read this put up and if I may just I wish to recommend you few
    fascinating things or suggestions. Perhaps you can write next articles regarding this article.
    I want to read more things about it!

  25. This post is invaluable. How can I find out more?

  26. Ahaa, its pleasant discussion regarding this piece of writing
    here at this webpage, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at
    this place.

  27. Wow, this post is nice, my younger sister is analyzing these kinds of things, thus
    I am going to inform her.

  28. Everyone loves what you guys tend to be up too. This kind of clever work and exposure!
    Keep up the amazing works guys I’ve included you guys to our blogroll.

  29. I’ve been browsing online more than three hours nowadays, yet I by no means found
    any attention-grabbing article like yours.

    It is pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if
    all site owners and bloggers made just right content as you probably did, the
    internet shall be much more useful than ever before.

  30. Ahaa, its fastidious discussion about this post here
    at this weblog, I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting at this place.

  31. I have really noticed that credit improvement activity has to be conducted with techniques. If not, you will probably find yourself damaging your positioning. In order to succeed in fixing your credit history you have to be careful that from this moment in time you pay any monthly costs promptly prior to their scheduled date. Really it is significant simply because by not really accomplishing that, all other actions that you will decide to try to improve your credit rank will not be useful. Thanks for revealing your ideas.

  32. I have been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never
    found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for
    me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made
    good content as you did, the internet will be a lot more useful than ever
    before.

  33. Hi! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to give it
    a look. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this
    to my followers! Superb blog and fantastic style and design.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. doairmax - doairmax bestswagintown, event360works,
  2. nike air apparent m忙nd - nike air apparent m忙nd brottning skoradidas stan smith azul marinoadidas york herennike sb zoom stefan janoski id paisley
  3. nike air max 90 femme leather voile de fer rouge m茅tallique - nike air max 90 femme leather voile de fer rouge m茅tallique ultimas zapatillas nike para mujer 2016 nike mujer tenis…
  4. nike air force 1 818594 300 verde acqua - nike air force 1 818594 300 verde acqua 30 de descuento nike 844766 005 zapatillas para ni帽osair max 90 blanche…
  5. chaussures nike air max 90 femme pas cher vert air max 1 soldes site en ligne - chaussures nike air max 90 femme pas cher vert air max 1 soldes site en ligne nike md runner 2…
  6. nike air jordan 1 mid team red - nike air jordan 1 mid team red nike air max press black whiteunder armour drive grey black red grade school…
  7. 2017 nike magista obra ii fg red orange soccer cleats - 2017 nike magista obra ii fg red orange soccer cleats womens adidas originals nmdr1 primeknit shoeswholesale nike hyperdunk 2017 ep…
  8. nike air max 97 sneakers sneakerjagers - nike air max 97 sneakers sneakerjagers comment acheter la supreme x nike sb gato whitedetails nike air max 1 heren…
  9. topairmax90mall - topairmax90mall 57buyu, interactiveartdirector,
  10. 2016 nike lebron 13 shoe black - 2016 nike lebron 13 shoe black air jordan retro low topsnike air force 270 carnivore ah6772 005 02adidas w nmdr1…
  11. under armour threadborne blur beige brown mens running sko - under armour threadborne blur beige brown mens running sko nike air max jewell pearl pink damskienike zoom lebron vi chalk…
  12. mens air jordan 9 black red - mens air jordan 9 black red nike roshe hikingair jordan flight hatnike air jordan 3 retro pure moneymens black air…
  13. 90 air max ultra - 90 air max ultra nike lunar force 1 ns hi premium silver mineral teal donnanike air jordan formula 23 ice…
  14. comprar nike free run 5.0 1 mujer beige amarillo online - comprar nike free run 5.0 1 mujer beige amarillo online caliroots com air max more nikenike air max 95 ultra…
  15. pre school under armour infinity ts - pre school under armour infinity ts nike jordan eclipse chukka damen schuhenike benassi future cross se premium m臋skienike damen wmns…

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.