Tag: school

Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Lego Is Totally Awesome

What was your favourite toy growing up? More importantly, what is your favourite toy now? While most we grow out of most types of figures and games, there’s something about LEGO that rocks as much as an adult as it did when you were a kid. Here are seven reasons why LEGO is completely awesome.

1. The logo. The LEGO logo is awesome. It’s colourful. Bold. It promises fun straight away. It’s got that nostalgic brand appeal that seems to endure right into your adult years, like Heinz, Coca-Cola or McDonald’s. It promises simple fun with friends.

Even now, when I’m walking down a high street and see that red square with the bubble-style font it makes me smile, and brings out the kid in me. But as we’ll see, LEGO isn’t just for kids…

2. It’s for grown-up geeks as well as children. While the core audience for LEGO will always be kids, big kids love the toys just as much. While new-ish lines like Chima and Ninjago are more a children’s thing, surely the Star Wars, Super Heroes and Lord of the Rings lines have been brought in with one eye on the adult market? To see the adult fascination with LEGO, look no further than The Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon showing his passion for building a LEGO Death Star.

LEGO represents the fundamentals of popular video games, too. Recently a lot of geeks have been playing Minecraft to get their sandbox world-building fix. And rightly so, because Minecraft is amazing. But LEGO has that simple pleasure of physically building things. It’s tangible. Sort of like a real-life Minecraft.

3. There’s a whole theme park dedicated to it. You know you’ve made it when you can build an entire theme park dedicated to the thing you do. LEGOLAND in Windsor is a kid’s toy Mecca; you can play with all manner of imaginative building block creations, and there are areas specifically based around Pirates, Vikings, Pharaohs and Knights. Although I’ve been to the LEGO flagship store in Copenhagen, I’ve never been to the theme Park. But I will. One day.

Of course there are lots of things you could do in the UK this summer, but a visit to the Windsor site must rank pretty high. Here’s how to check out trains to LEGOLAND in Windsor.

4. It’s really reactive to pop culture. The modern brilliance of the LEGO brand is that it’s so on top of pop culture. Whenever something relevant is happening – like the Olympics – LEGO is on-hand to recreate scenes using stop-motion. During the Games last year we had swimming races, gymnastics and Usain Bolt’s 100m win all ‘reenacted’ with the famous blocks.

Best of all, LEGO has started putting out mini-films and remakes of classic movies scenes – such as the one above of Casino Royale. I think the appeal of this is seeing ‘adult’ themes and drama acted out with children’s toys. Plus there’s the joy of seeing the simple special effects; the practical magic that makes feel like you could reach out and touch everything in the scene.

5. It’s educational. Think LEGO is all about fun? Guess again. All that time we were fiddling around with colourful bricks, we were actually learning. We were developing our creative talents and problem-solving skills. We were learning to work with others. LEGO is also great because in a world of multi-media distractions, it’s an activity that kids can use to train themselves into unitasking – learning to concentrate on one project, and focus.

LEGO has taken this concept to the max, building its own school in Denmark. Although, sadly, it’s not made of LEGO. The International School of Billund will be based on developing children’s enquiring minds, and will basically be the most incredible experience ever. What’s next? LEGO University? Best. Uni. Ever.

6. There’s always something new coming out. Unlike some toy manufacturers, LEGO isn’t prepared to rest on its laurels and cruise along churning out the same stuff year after year. They’re constantly bringing out new figures, sets and product lines. This can occasionally backfire, though; a recent study suggested that LEGO faces have been getting progressively angrier over the last 20 years!

A good example of an ongoing LEGO line that you can dip in and out of is the Minifigures Collection. Each series has about 16 different figures, and they’re wildly different – you can end up with anything from a DJ, ice skater, futuristic spaceman or mythological warrior.

7. It’s just as good as when you were a kid. Perhaps the best thing about LEGO is that it’s still as good as when you were young. It’s more than just nostalgia. While the Heinz beans and Big Macs of today don’t match up to the memories of your youth, LEGO is just as brilliant as ever.

In fact, considering everything I’ve said, I guess I should be saying that LEGO’s better than ever! It’s great because it’s a different toy to different people. It’s literally what you make of it. And it’s a toy where the only the only limit – apart from bricks – is your imagination.

About the author: Andrew Tipp is a writer, blogger and editor. He works in digital publishing, and often writes about pop culture, web trends and cool technology. Andy has been a life-long LEGO fan, and is also interested in films, graphic novels, bacon, miso soup and zombies.

July 12, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Child Will Learn More History In Spain Than School

We all remember history lessons, don’t we? Falling asleep at the back of the class while a droning teacher with all the inspiration of a brick tried to stimulate some interest in the War of the Spanish Succession, or the Defenestration of Prague? Spain has such a rich and varied history that it provides the ideal canvas for a child’s mind, making dry-as-dust stuff about the past really come alive.

Family holidays here are a relaxed affair, with welcoming hosts, good food and accessible, scenic roads. Car hire in Spain is affordable and easily arranged, and there’s an enormous range of cultural festivals and events on throughout the year, making this the perfect destination for a trip learning about Europe’s past and present without it feeling like a lesson at all.

Alcazar of Segovia – via tripsgeek.com

1. A unique cultural mix. Spain was the battleground for Christian kingdoms of the north and Moorish Caliphates of the south, who slogged it out for centuries until 1492, when the Christians captured Granada. Across Spain there’s a fabulous mix of Gothic and Arabic in the architecture – a lesson in how multiculturalism can transform and beautify the landscape of any country.

2. Castles and battles. The phrase ‘Castles in Spain’ may refer to unrealistic daydreams, but Spain really does have some of the most magical and dreamlike castles in Europe. The Alcazar of Segovia was the model for Disney’s Magic Kingdom, a soaring confection of turrets and towers that would make the perfect backdrop for any medieval make-believe.

3. Extravagant festivals. Every village, town and city across Spain has its festivals, and these are usually noisy and colourful occasions. The week leading up to Easter is especially atmospheric, with candle-lit processions through the streets to churches and cathedrals to mark Holy Week. At the other extreme, at the Tomatina in Valencia in August thousands of people spend three days pelting each other with tomatoes.

4. Gaudi’s experimental cathedral. There’s no other cathedral in the world quite like Gaudi’s Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. It has seven spires for a start, and looks nothing like the staid and brooding cathedrals you find elsewhere in Europe. The ‘warped Gothic’ architecture makes it look like it’s melting in the heat, and bright mosaics reflect the sun like bowls of Caribbean fruit. Eat your heart out, Cologne!

5. What the Romans did for everyone. Spain was an important Roman province, and in fact the first non-Roman emperor, Trajan, was born here. Roman remains litter the Spanish landscape and one of the most awesome is the great aqueduct of Segovia. Of course, bath houses were never far away either – when not wiping out all opposition, the legionnaires liked nothing better than a good, manly scrub.

6. Gardens of the Alhambra. The Moors tended to enjoy cool fountains and shaded gardens, and in the Alhambra at Granada you can see that they and their northern Christian counterparts were as different as chalk and cheese when it came to relaxing and enjoying the finer things in life. On the other hand they did end up being kicked out, so there’s a lesson there somewhere.

7. Flamenco. Flamenco, the Spanish national dance, comes from the Arabs and is characterised by mad passions, obsessive jealousy and barely suppressed lust – history in a nutshell. The rhythmic, aggressive stamping takes enormous stamina, and wielding lethal castanets without doing serious damage is a great skill. Just watching a performance can leave you completely exhausted and ready for a tapas and a large glass of chilled Torres Milmanda Chardonnay.

About the author: David Elliott is a freelance writer who loves to travel, especially in Europe and Turkey. He’s spent most of his adult life in a state of restless excitement but recently decided to settle in North London. He gets away whenever he can to immerse himself in foreign cultures and lap up the history of great cities.

February 28, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Book A Summer Holiday

With schools in the UK just breaking up for the summer holidays, many people still haven’t booked a family holiday. Talks of a double dip recession, job insecurity, rainy weather and uncertainty about the Euro have meant that many families have been left unsure of what to do with their main summer break. But you know you deserve a holiday! So why wait?

1. Don’t tear your hair out at home. Staying at home can feel ok for the first three days of the school holidays. After that, the kids will be running riot around the house, misbehaving and crying out ‘I’m bored’. You will be desperate to escape from the four walls of your home. If only you could escape from your family too…

2. It doesn’t have to cost the earth. In these times of economic uncertainty, many people resist booking a holiday until the last minute. The thing is, in uncertain times more than ever, we need a bit of joy in our lives and holidays are even more important. There are plenty of cheap self catering UK cottage holidays still available for this summer and booking last minute means that you can take advantage of great deals, making your holiday even friendlier on the wallet and hopefully giving you some spare cash to splash on meals out and treats for the kids whilst you are away.

3. Kids love holidays! Anyone remember being the only kid in the class who hadn’t been away for a summer holiday? Just me then? Give your kids some stories to tell back at school and something to write about in their ‘what I did in the holidays’ diary, you don’t want them going back to school looking like the poor kid who didn’t get to go anywhere.
On a serious note, holidays are educational for kids, they can learn about new places and experience new things. You might actually enjoy spending time with them. Going on holiday won’t make your kids behave but you can keep your fingers crossed that it might!

4. It doesn’t have to be loads of hassle. The thought of packing to go away, airports, queues and seasickness can all make it feel like it is way too much hassle to go away. It doesn’t have to be! Keep it simple, stay in the UK, pack up a few essentials in the boot of the car and off you go. There are plenty of places to look for hassle free holidays in the UK, like Web Cottages. You can take your own food and you won’t have to worry about the inconvenience of finding food that fussy youngsters will like when abroad too. Winner! There are enough things to think about without making life more difficult for you.

5. You never know what’s around the corner. It sounds really doom and gloom but you never know what the future may hold. 2013 may mean the end of the world for all we know! If the end of the world or more economic problems, and a whole host of other disasters are potentially just around the corner then we may as well enjoy ourselves now. Book a few days away; if we are all going to die next year at least we can die happy!

6. It’s good for your health! Going on holiday is good for you, fact! Well, the right sort of holiday is. Get away from the house, the office and the car and spend some time in the great outdoors. Loose a few pounds by walking in the countryside or along the coastline. You can even treat yourself to a ice cream or portion of fish and chips, it’s about a balanced diet after all! Not only will you return feeling refreshed and relaxed but you will be ready to back to work and endue the rest of the school holidays.

7. Make the most of the sunshine! Fingers crossed we may actually get a summer this year! News reports say that the jet stream that has been causing awful wet weather across the UK is set to change so we may actually get some lovely British sunshine. Make the most of it and head to the seaside for a beach holiday. Even if it rains, our good old British spirit will kick in. We are used to rainy beach holidays after all.
So, get on your marks, get set, go! Make the most of the school holidays this summer.

July 19, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Pick Teaching As A Career

Teaching is never easy and it can seem like a thankless task when you spend the whole weekend marking, only to be mocked by friends who joke that you get too many holidays. However, there are many reasons why you should pick teaching as a career and undertake a teaching qualification such as Middlesex University PGCE courses.

1. Holidays. Let’s get that one out the way first. We know you didn’t choose to be a teacher just because of the holidays. We also know that, despite what your friends and family think, you will spend a large chunk of your holiday marking papers and writing lesson plans. But all those holidays are nice and even when you are working, it is a luxury to be able to work from home.

2. Rewarding. There’s nothing like seeing your class finish a long and complicated project or put on a play. You will watch your pupils learn and grow as people as they get older. You will feel almost as proud as the parents when the day comes for them to leave your school and take their next step in the world.

3. Changing Lives. Not many careers will give you the opportunity to have a positive influence on children and shape their future for the better. You may spot a creative talent in a pupil and give them the confidence to pursue their dream when they would have otherwise decided to opt for a safer career instead.

4. Getting To Teach A Subject You Love. Whether it’s art, English, science or maths that is your passion, nothing will give you more joy than being able to work in this field everyday. You will also be able to share your love for a subject with others and have the reward of watching them enjoy learning about it too.

5. Job Security. Not many careers provide jobs for life these days, but a good teacher will always be able to find work in their chosen area. There are also a number career progression opportunities available and you can choose to move up to be the head of department, head of year or even head teacher.

6. Job Opportunities Away From The Main Cities. This can enable you to find work away from busy cities and avoid the high house prices and traffic hell that city dwellers have to endure.

7. Work Around Your Family. Even if you don’t have a family now, you may consider starting one in the future. As a teacher, you will be off school at the same time that your children are so you could save a fortune in child care costs and spend more time with your children too. You also won’t have to worry about asking a nagging boss for time off because your holidays are set out for you each year. You can’t grumble about that!

June 10, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Have Paid More Attention In Art Class

When I was last at school I treated art lessons as a time to let my hair down, muck around and generally play the class fool. I don’t know what the kids must have thought of me – no wonder I didn’t last long as a teacher.

Photo by Blue Monkey

Here are seven good reasons why it really does pay to brush up on your art skills at school.

1. Think Of The Money. There is very good money to be made from art. In 1895, Norwegian artist Edvard Munch knocked up a picture of an alien-type figure holding their head in their hands while screaming on a bridge. He called the picture The Scream and it’s just been sold for $119.9 million (£74 million) at auction.

2. Anyone Can Come Up With A Great Piece Of Art. Looking at The Scream it’s hard to resist the thought that anyone could have drawn it – the figure in the picture is just one step up from a stick man; Munch hasn’t even troubled himself with the task of giving the screaming figure tricky-to-draw details like hair, eyelashes or fingernails. The Scream shows that a very simple, well-executed idea will take you a long way. And makes you lots of dosh too.

3. Making Great Art Can Be Quick. Watching the great children’s TV artists of the 1970s and 1980s go about their work provided a crash-course lesson on how to create great art quickly. Both Rolf Harris and Tony Hart worked at a frightening pace – producing two or three top-notch pieces of work in each half-hour episode. Replicate this work rate over a 9 to 5 working day and you will have lots of interesting art to sell.

4. Art College Is The Modern-Day Fame Academy. Britain has a great tradition of people going to Art College going on to become famous stars. John Lennon of The Beatles, Pete Townshend of The Who and Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones were just three of the stars who went to art college to study painting techniques and graphic design. It is worth noting that all of these stars found fame not through painting but through music and that most of the 1960s art colleges have been closed down because of spending cuts but you get the picture.

5. People Love Child Artists. Paying attention during primary school art lessons can pay dividends very quickly as the art world is particularly keen to embrace young talent. Nine-year-old Kieron Williamson is a case in point. The Norfolk lad regularly exhibits his oil, watercolour and pastel originals at exhibitions and has been dubbed ‘Mini Monet’ by chin-stroking art experts. “It’s lovely to see a nine-year-old boy keeping traditional landscape painting alive,” Kieron’s mother Michelle recently said. And there’s clearly a market for it – the youngster’s brilliant paintings fetch as much as £150,000 at auction.

6. Art Is Self-Expression. What other professions allow you to choose your own hours, attract muses and keep a messy office without the boss telling you off? Being an artist is all about expressing your inner soul and letting your creative fires burn freely.

7. Art Opens So Many Doors. And if all else fails you can always become an art teacher.

Author Bio: James Christie writes for Yellow Moon craft supplies shop.

May 10, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Forgot To Pick The Children Up From School

It sounds terrible, but I would be willing to bet that there isn’t a single person reading this who hasn’t picked their children up from school late at least once – talking to some of the parents I know, here are some of the reasons they gave me for ‘running late’…

1. You Were Playing Farmville. In fact all of those highly-addictive Facebook games should come with health warnings, “May cause you to lose large chunks of your day.”. Or, at the very least, they should come with in-game reminders like, “Step away from the computer and pick up your offspring – you can always beat Claire’s Bejewelled score later.”.

2. You Were Trying On That Dress Again. Hands up who has ever dropped the children at school in the morning, popped to the high street and still found yourself looking for that perfect cocktail dress ay 3pm? I’ve often found myself battling the shopping devil inside that is telling you to go and try the dress on again for the twelfth time. The children can probably walk home. They need to grow up sometime, right?! 🙂

3. You Were Gossiping. As the old saying goes; “time flies when you’re speculating with your best friend about her cougar of a neighbour’s latest toyboy”.

4. You Were Playing Bingo. Whether you popped in for an early session with the other mums or got engrossed in some of the cute bingo games online.

5. You Had To Stay And Laugh At Your Boss’ Jokes. Ah, the dreaded afternoon meeting where your boss’ showboating drags on a little too long. You’re checking your watch, but he is telling the most drawn out joke in the world. And he keeps getting it wrong. But hey, you’re trying to climb the ladder so you put on a brave face and attempt to chuckle in the right places whilst thinking about what you’ve got for dinner.

6. Those Pesky Soap Operas Were Just A Little Too Gripping. As you sit enjoying the last peaceful cup of tea for the day, wondering if that woman will make it out alive, who’s the daddy of that baby or if she really did bury her husband under the shed – don’t forget that it isn’t real. The children are waiting in the playground so you’d better get a wiggle on…

7. Some Legitimate Reason. There really are quite a few legitimate reasons for running late. The previous six probably aren’t going to cut it – I doubt your child’s teacher will take kindly to you telling them you wanted to finish your game of Pathwords. Running late and temporarily forgetting to pick up your kids doesn’t make you a bad parent – we’re all busy and we’re all human.

January 17, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Believe Harry Potter Exists

As you may have noticed, here at 7 Reasons we have a habit of belittling other people’s muppetry. The question, ‘Is Harry Potter Real?’, for instance, would have us stampeding towards our pencil cases. As indeed we did when we discovered this. However, when today’s guest post dropped on our inbox mat, we had to take a step back. And question ourselves. Because today we are confronted with seven compelling reasons that suggest maybe, just maybe, we were too quick to judge. Perhaps, just perhaps, Harry Potter does exist after all. So, with that in mind, let’s get to the post. Written today by massive Harry Potter nerd, Rachel, who went to boarding school and Oxford University just to have an education as close to the Hogwarts experience as possible.

Come on, admit it: at least once in your life, you’ve fantasised about what it would be like to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Depending on the level of your Harry Potter obsession, you might even have gone as far as to have a careful think about which House you’d get put into by the Sorting Hat (definitely Ravenclaw for me). If you’re still waiting for that Hogwarts acceptance letter to drop down your chimney, check out our seven great reasons why you should hold out hope that the magical world of Harry Potter really exists…

1. Online Stores. Anyone looking for a reason to believe need search no further than their computer screen. A decent Google session later and you could quite easily purchase yourself a wide array of wizarding accessories. With anything from school supplies to apparel, time turners and hand carved wands available, any budding witch or wizard can easily stock up for their first day at Hogwarts. Just order your acceptance letter (again, available online) and head on down to platform 9¾ at King’s Cross Station.

2. Muggle Wear. When wizards attempt to dress in ‘Muggle clothes’, the result is notoriously hilarious: slippers with pinstripe suits, a middle-aged man sporting a flowery dress and a bowler hat, or unusual patterns and colour combinations, the ensembles that they come up with are anything but normal. I’m sure everyone has seen someone whose outfit garners a second glance or a funny look, someone who doesn’t seem to understand that you shouldn’t wear a dressing gown with skinny jeans. Maybe they were just cold? Or maybe they were an undercover wizard.

3. Supernatural Sightings. Yetis in Tibet, the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland or aliens in Roswell: hundreds of unbelievable, supernatural sightings and occurrences are reported every year. What’s easier to believe: that a UFO sighting is proof of alien life from space, or that it was just a glimpse of Mr Weasley’s flying Ford Anglia? Or even a small bespectacled boy riding on a hippogriff.

4. History. Ancient records are littered with references to the occult: Merlin in Camelot, witch hunts in Salem or stories of immortality elixirs – tales of witches and wizards permeate the fabric of our history. There’s no smoke, as they say, without fire.

5. Sweet Stuff. Sugar Quills, Fizzing Whizzbees, Butterbeer, Exploding Bonbons, Liquorice Wands, Jelly Slugs, Chocolate Frogs, Cauldron Cakes, Pumpkin Pasties, Firewhiskey, Pepper Imps, Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum, Acid Pops and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. I don’t know about you, but I’m not prepared to live in a world where these sweet treats don’t exist.

6. Quidditch. The strangest of games, Quidditch defies the laws of logic. Not only is this school sport played in mid-air (health and safety anyone?), but unless one of the teams is able to gain a lead of at least 160 points, the whole match, and subsequently the final score, rests on the shoulders of the Seeker. You can’t make this stuff up, so it must be real.

7. The International Statue Of Wizarding Secrecy. This may be the most obvious reason of all, but the only reason for not believing that Harry Potter is real lies in the absence of proof: why would we have proof? These are not wayward sorcerers who cast spells at random; the Ministry of Magic has rules about that sort of thing. Officially established in 1692, the Statue of Secrecy was created to “safeguard the wizard community from Muggles, and hide their presence from the world at large”. With such a law in place, I’m sure that any Muggle with proof would find themselves on the wrong end of a memory charm pretty sharpish.

If you have any further reasons to add, please leave a comment below – we are the believers!

December 15, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Teaching Is (Mostly) The Best Job In The World

A few weeks ago, you may remember Liz Gregory telling us why Summer was great. There was so much agreement with her in the 7 Reasons HQ that we just had to get her back on the sofa. Thankfully, Liz was only too keen to make a reappearance. And this time she’s bought along her box of chalks. Or are they marker pens? I can never tell when I’m sans contact lenses. If you didn’t check out Liz’s blog – Things To Do In Manchester – last time, then you better do it today. Unless you want detention. Right, enough of the stupid school quips, I’m off to the bike sheds.

1. Holidays (Part One). We may as well deal with any resentment up front, so we’ll start with holidays. I get 11 weeks per year. Teachers in schools get more. I understand that people in the real world get insultingly poor amounts of annual leave, and I feel bad about this. But no-one, anywhere (that includes you, Cameron) will take my glorious six-week summer off me.

2. Holidays (Part Two). Last year the afore-mentioned six week summer break began on July 7^th. The Ashes series started on July 8^th. This point needs no further expansion.

3. The Students. Yes, I know this one is hard to believe; even a cursory glance at The Daily Mail will indicate that the youth of today are a snarling, feral mass, pausing from their casual sex and drug-taking only to mug passing old ladies and commit knife crimes. You may be disappointed to learn that actually, today’s teenagers are pretty much the same as any other generation of teenagers: moody, unpredictable, funny, witty, charming…in short, they are good company. Although I do query some of their musical taste, and the overall aesthetics of wearing one’s jeans halfway down one’s backside.

4. Talking About What You Love, All Day Every Day. I teach English, which means that rather than answer telephones and push bits of paper around a desk all day, a typical Monday might include reading Wuthering Heights (and indeed performing the Kate Bush caterwauling classic as a Christmas treat), acting out bits of Streetcar Named Desire (Stellllaaaaaaa!), and teaching how to write scripts, articles or short stories….it’s amazing.

5. Seasonal Celebrations. Christmas is fun, sure. Christmas in a college with hundreds of sixteen-year-olds who are desperately excited but are trying equally desperately not to show it is even better. Students are also very keen on the confectionary that tends to accompany such seasonal celebrations, and bring it in by the bucket load; there is surely not a teacher in existence who has not felt their waistband constrict at Easter or Christmas due to a surfeit of Quality Street.

6. Stationery. This may actually be specific to English teachers, but every September the pain of a new academic year is soothed by an almighty trip to Paperchase to stock up on novelty pens and notebooks with monkeys on. This is an essential part of teaching, and its impact on the economic stability of Britain must not be overlooked.

7. Students Suddenly Realising You’re Not Ninety. I am not particularly advanced in years, but to my youthful charges I may as well be approaching my hundred and twelfth birthday. Until, of course, you are spotted outside of work, wearing jeans, talking to friends, and maybe (gasp) drinking wine. This prompts much admiration, as students recognise you for what you truly are – a plucky old person with a life outside college. This will raise your kudos above every member of the maths and science departments almost instantly.

July 10, 2010
7 Reasons That English Pronunciation is Difficult.

So, you want to learn English as a second language? Good idea. We’re here to help, so welcome to the 7 Reasons Language School. We’ll start things off simply, with a bit of pronunciation.

Lesson One: Pronouncing words that end with “ough”.

1. Through (throo). Okay, this is the first word you’ve seen that ends o-u-g-h. Now you know that “ough” can be pronounced “oo”. Simple.

2. Rough (ruff). You may imagine, based on the prior example that “rough” is pronounced “roo”. It isn’t, it’s pronounced “ruff”. This means that o-u-g-h is more complicated than you initially supposed. You’re probably thinking that “ough” must be pronounced “oo” if preceded by th, and “uff” if not preceded with th. That’s wrong, but we like your reasoning. Don’t worry, you’ll soon get the hang of it.

3. Dough (doe). Nope, it’s not pronounced “duff”, or even “doo”; it’s pronounced “doe”. That’s a third pronunciation of “ough” to remember. We realise that there’s no apparent pattern and that this English lark may be harder than you supposed, but do carry on. If small children can manage this, then so can you.

4. Plough (plow). Did we mention there’s a fourth pronunciation? I know it may seem a trifle excessive, but the English are aware that their language is sometimes illogical and impenetrable, and are tolerant of people’s attempts to learn it. We’re not the sort of people who will spit out warm beer and roll around the floors of our country pubs guffawing if you order a ploomans lunch. Oh no.

5. Lough (lock). Why is this word pronounced “lock”, but spelled l-o-u-g-h? Why isn’t it spelled l-o-c-k? Er…good questions. We’re not sure. Perhaps the Scots hate you too.

6. Cough (coff). Yes, that is a sixth way to pronounce the same thing. You may be thinking that learning Klingon would make more sense than this. It probably would, but then you’d have to converse about dilithium crystals and the climate of the planet Qo’noS with a man named Terry.

7. Hiccough (hiccup). What happened to “oo”, “uff”, “o”, “ow”, “ock” and “off”? Well, it’s now pronounced “up”. What do you mean you give ough? Come back!

February 26, 2010