Tag: Scared

Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Men Are Scared Of Washing Machines

Historically much maligned for their domestic idleness, men have come a long way in recent years. Comfortable in the kitchen, happy to do the vacuuming and occasionally enthusiastic about childcare, the age of equality is very much here. Just don’t mention the laundry. It remains a baffling world where fancy, shiny, modern washing machines are viewed as Cyclopean nemeses, brooding away in the corner, ready to punish the simplest label-reading error or colour mix-up.

Here are seven very good reasons why doing the washing is anathema to the male of the species:

1. Men are confused that it has to happen at all, and with such astonishing regularity. Some would quite happily revert back to Victorian times when poor children were sewn into their clothes at the start of winter and then unstitched come the warmer months. Men will happily recycle a garment from the “floordrobe” – pick it up, dust it down, give it a cursory sniff and put it right back on. Who cares if it’s Thursday and they’ve been wearing it since Monday?

2. Powder, tablets, balls, gels – the list of things you can put in a washing machine has seemingly grown exponentially in recent years. It used to be simple – you put the powder in the drawer and that was it. Now some things go in the drawer, some go in the drum and some go in a bag in the drum – it’s become a very, very confusing world. Men would rather not risk putting the wrong thing in the wrong place.

3. Can he put his bath towel in with his pants? Can he wash that white merino wool sweater with his new red socks? Can he chuck his jeans in with his chinos? Constructing the ideal load is a minefield and best left to the experts. Especially after what happened to her favourite white top the last time he tried to be helpful. . .

4. Why are clothing labels full of symbols akin to those found on the walls of Egyptian tombs? A man shouldn’t need a copy of the Rosetta stone to decipher the care label on his favourite T-shirt. All those triangles, squares and circles resemble some kind of devilish cypher that war-time codebreakers would struggle to crack.

5. And if the clothes labels are bad, what about the dials on the machine? All those symbols, programmes AND temperatures – they are just a recipe for disaster. What’s wrong with a big button that just says “wash clothes”?

6. Men famously struggle with having a thorough look for something. A so-called “man look” involves confidently claiming to have looked everywhere for the house keys with no success.

Her: “Have you checked the top drawer in the hall?”
Him: “Yes, I had a look and they weren’t there.”
[Two minutes later]
Her: “Here they are.”
Him: “Where were they?”
Her: “In the top drawer in the hall. You must have had a man look.”

What does this have to do with washing? Well, there are all those pockets to go through and a man knows that he will inevitably fail to remove a golf ball that will proceed to rattle around the washing machine drum for half an hour or a tissue that will deconstruct itself all over a favourite jumper. Oh, and has anyone seen the cat?

7. Finally, doing the washing invariably leads to another baffling exercise: ironing. And that is not a path down which any man wishes to voluntarily tread . . .

July 25, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Not To Fear The Dentist

1. Your dentist gives you free stuff! Don’t you want free lip balm, toys and all the toothbrushes and floss you can stuff down your pants? After the dentist finishes the exam and cleaning, often these lovely parting gifts await you.

2. Your dentist understands your fear. And will give you plenty of nitrous oxide (laughing gas)! Whether it’s because you had a traumatic experience as a child or you don’t like the idea of someone poking around in your mouth, some people have a real fear of visiting the dentist. According to Comfort Dental of Anderson, Indiana, when patients receive sedation dentistry work, it allows them to have little or no memory of the experience. No reason to be scared, you won’t remember anything!

3. Your dentist helps you have a winning smile. Say goodbye to crooked and yellow teeth! Smiling helps facilitate better first impressions and makes you look more attractive. Your dentist can help create a million-dollar smile–whether it’s a professional teeth whitening session or straightening your teeth with braces. Your teeth will look so stellar that friends and family will no longer ask about your uncanny resemblance to Count Dracula!

4. Dentists use the latest technology. No rusty tools a-la Little Shop of Horrors. Today’s dentists’ offices are more like Star Trek (Beam Me up Scotty!). Offices are equipped with the latest technology so procedures are not only less invasive but also allow patients to feel more comfortable. There are many new technologies that accomplish these goals, such as devices that even eliminate the need of the fear-inducing drill.

5. Your dentist keeps you healthy. If your dentist spots something like oral cancer during a routine checkup, you can thank them for saving your life. Truth is you only have one set of teeth. If you deal with dental issues before they become a problem, chances are you won’t be so scared to go because there won’t be any major problems. Crazy concept, we know.

6. Calming atmospheres and soothing music. Some dentists’ offices have transformed into downright spas! Televisions, calming music, chamomile tea and white noise machines with ocean sounds are just a few of the amenities that provide a calming and inviting dental experience.

7. Your dentist knows what he is doing. They went to school…for many, many years! Becoming a dentist involves at least two to three years of prerequisite science courses during the four years of college to receive an undergraduate degree , and dental school is another four years. Throughout schooling, dental students have intensive instruction that involves nine hours of lectures and/or lab five days a week, totaling about 100 credit hours of classes each year.

After all the years of school, they still need to be licensed by the state before they can practice. They need to pass the National Board Dental Examinations and clinical board examinations to show that they are competent to practice dentistry. Some states may even require one to two years of residency. And if your dentist decides to specialize in anything from pediatric dentistry to periodontics, that involves even more years of schooling. All this makes them super smart, so you trust them to look in your mouth.

Becoming a dentist takes hard work and extensive training. So have no fear. You are in good hands!

If you have a dentist who had put you at ease, nominate them here.

Post contributed by Alisa Vilabrera of TopDentists.com

September 23, 2012
7 Reasons The French Couldn’t Invade The UK

1. Language. A successful French invasion would result in the British speaking French. That’s not happening. The British have about as much interest in learning French as they do in my trousers. They are also incapable of learning something so… well… pointless. (The British I mean, not my trousers. Though, come to think of it, my trousers are fairly incapable in that department too). The fact is, we Brits just wouldn’t turn up to the classes. The French would eventually get fed up and go home. Then they’d find that while they were out for the day we took over. Genius.

2. Beaches. The French have dainty little feet. It’s a well known fact, in my mind, that they spend 56% of their time in the bathroom moisturising their toes. If they try and invade by boat it means making an assault via our beaches. These are made from stone. That’s enough to make them turn around and run out of petrol in the middle of the English Channel. Please note that name. The English Channel. None of this French Chanel No.5 rubbish.

3. Flights. Attempting to invade by plane would be particularly stupid as most of the planes destined for Heathrow get diverted to Charles de Gaulle anyway. Or Luton. Both are pretty horrendous.

4. Time Difference. The French are an hour ahead of the British. Not in common sense, just in time. Supposing the French finish work at 5pm their time. It would take them two hours to get to London. That would be 6pm our time. Rush hour. Told you they didn’t have common sense.

5. Food. There is no point in invading and then going home for tea. We’d just take our country back. The French would actually have to occupy the UK. This would mean eating British food. Well they’re not going to do that are they? Who wants a plate of fish and chips when you can have frog’s legs dipped in snail fluid?

6. Nelson. Horatio still gives the French nightmares. That is why you never see an onion-selling cyclist in Trafalgar Square. Fancy losing a battle to a bloke with one arm and one eye. Do you know how difficult it is steer a ship with one arm and one eye? That’s pretty lame France.

7. Scared. The French are big pansies. In the early 1800’s Nelson had both the French and Spanish fleets blockaded in at Toulon. Instead of fighting back, they slipped through the back entrance. (A nasty habit). Nelson ended up having to chase them all the way to the West Indies. And back again. And they still didn’t bloody engage in battle. If that is their attitude how could they possibly invade the UK? They’d run away crying if the foghorn on the Calais to Dover ferry was a bit too loud.

March 22, 2010