Tag: People

Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Have A Home Gym Instead Of A Membership

Are you tired of your blood pressure going through the roof every time you step foot into your gym due to the smorgasbord of annoyances on display? There’s something to ruin the day of any appetite. Why not avoid ever having to return there by creating your own gym at home? As if you needed them, here’s seven reasons.

1. The Smell. If you’re walking into a room filled with 50 other sweaty individuals in the various stages of a workout its unlikely that it’s going to smell like you’re visiting the body shop. Unfortunately this is an occupational hazard that is associated with the gym, and unless you want to hover around every machine spraying the seat cushions with Fabreeze you might have to grin and bear it. If you set up your own gym at home at least you can bang in the old Glade Plug in Fresh and work out until your heart’s content. If you get Lavender and Vanilla you can even shut your eyes and imagine that you’re working out in a sun basked meadow.

2. The Changing Rooms. Where to start with the changing rooms? The over familiar fellow gym members strolling around the room, determined to get that last bit of water from their ear with the corner of their towel? The bags hiding just out of sight, peeking out from under a bench and only making themselves known when they cause you to trip over, sending your Lynx Africa skidding across the floor in the process? The guys who seem to just like hanging out in their, bro-ing it up with all the other bros. Bro. At least in the comfort of your own home you can have a shower and get changed without feeling like you’re living in a mixture of Top Gun and a Butlin’s Strongest Man competition.

3. Equipment Hogs. There’s nothing wrong with someone getting full use of a piece of equipment. It’s their right. They pay membership fees just like anyone else. It’s when someone feels the need to simultaneously work three pieces of equipment at once, and then have the temerity to stare you down when you ask if they need that extra dumbbell that it can try your patience a little bit. If you have your own gym at home you’re unlikely to run into this predicament.

4. Grunting. Every gym has at least one. A grunter. Lifting weights doesn’t mean that you have to attempt to suck every litre of oxygen out of the room and then scream like Maria Sharapova fighting a Silverback Gorilla. Unless it’s you that is doing the grunting. In which case you should probably stop. I’m not sure people like it.

5. Sweaty Equipment. There is nothing more irritating than getting onto a machine only to discover that it is literally dripping in sweat. Guys, I’m looking at you for this one. No disrespect, but I’ve yet to see a woman leave a piece of equipment that looks as though it’s been used as a prop in the Flashdance chair scene. This won’t be an issue if you have your own gym at home. And if you don’t wipe your equipment down after you’ve used it at least you’ll only get drenched in your own sweat. Everyone like’s their own brand anyway. Don’t they?

6. The People Who Stare. Of the many gym personalities that you are likely to encounter, this one will put you on edge the most. Lurking around the equipment, watching you workout and perspiring more themselves than you ever could. As soon as you make eye contact with them they will slink away or pretend that they have been sent a text. It’s only upon closer inspection that you realise that they are trying to read a text message from their iPod. They NEVER seem to actually work out either. When you’re working out at home they are unlikely to be there. And even if they are you can just close the blinds.

7. Hoverers. You know the ones. You’ve been on a machine for a matter of seconds and they are hovering around it, shooting you ‘hurry up I’ve got to get back to the office’ looks. Too ‘polite’ to actually ask you how long you’re going to be, but not so concerned about time that won’t move onto another machine. You can’t even grab a drink of water because they will steal your machine on account of them being serial grave jumpers. Known to loudly chat on their phones about how they’re ‘stuck at the gym’. The annoyance that they cause is reason enough to take out a second mortgage so that you can afford your own gym. They will obviously be refused membership.

This post was written by Richard Hughes on behalf of the home fitness equipment distributor Orbus Leisure.

July 3, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Learn English In The UK

Studying at home requires discipline, dedication and high levels of motivation. Most people find this difficult or a lot of hard work. Learning a language while away on the other hand – well, that’s just exciting. Here’s why:

1. You Get To Meet British People. From eccentric inventors to flamboyant entertainers, the UK is home to more characters than the Chinese alphabet. Getting to know people is one of the best ways to learn a language quickly – and one of the most rewarding. Whether it’s mastering the art of banter, or picking up a few words of slang, making new British friends is an exciting opportunity.

2. It’s A Good Excuse For A Holiday. People have been coming to the UK for a little rest and relaxation for centuries. In 2011 alone, more than 30 million overseas visitors made the journey. Tourism is one of Britain’s largest industries and the nation comes up with innovative ways of entertaining its visitors, seemingly by the hour. Whether it’s walking round Wales via its new coastal path or making a visit to a recently opened National Trust property, there’s always something to do.

For those who want to combine their holiday with a little learning, most English language courses in London and elsewhere incorporate day trips and other excursions into their teaching programmes.

3. You Develop As A Person. As cheesy as it sounds, those who study abroad gain more than just the ability to speak English. Increases in self-reliance and self-confidence are just some of the reported benefits.

4. You Gain New Qualifications. The UK has long been regarded as a centre for academic excellence. It has some 165 higher education institutions and 115 universities. The two most famous – Oxford and Cambridge – are known the world over. It’s no exaggeration to say that the UK is brimming with schools, teachers and a general air of studiousness.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, employers outside the UK are far more impressed with students who have English language qualifications from Britain than they are with those who have done little more than sit at home listening to an audio CD.

5. You Have Fun. Learning a language with other people is fun – especially when the learning is taking place in an exciting new country packed with pubs, clubs and other places designed for good times. Language students are friendly and eager to get to know others on their courses. Where better to cement new friendships than a country famed for its nightlife and natural beauty?

6. The UK Is The Home Of The English Language. Old English first began making an appearance in England’s Anglo-Saxon kingdoms during the 5th century – the word ‘English’ is derived from the name of the Angles from the German region of Schleswig-Holstein. The Norman conquest of England in the 11th century led to the development of Middle English, but it wasn’t until the Great Vowel Shift of the 15th century that Modern English took shape.

The language of Shakespeare, Byron and the Beatles remains closely tied to its country of origin. Language students who visit the UK will gain an understanding of its context that can never be learnt from books alone.

7. Finding A Course Is Easy. The UK is home to more English language courses than anywhere else in the world. For those seeking English language schools London is the nation’s language learning capital. Courses can last from one hour to one year or anything in between. Teaching can take place at a designated centre or at a chosen location. With so much competition between schools, the consumer reigns supreme.

June 6, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Need To Volunteer Abroad

If you are coming to the end of your studies, most of you will soon be busy checking job websites, scanning the local papers and trying to find that perfect first position. However, given the tough economic climate, more and more young people are finding it tough to get a job at all – let alone find the perfect one.

With that in mind, here’s seven reasons why we think now’s the right time to volunteer abroad.

1. You Develop As A Person. By far and away the biggest benefit to you by volunteering abroad is that you yourself will develop as a person. You will meet people from across the world you’re unlikely to have met if you’d stayed at home. You’ll develop skills and nurture friendships that will last a lifetime, and once you return you will have stories to tell. Whatever it is you do, you will develop into a more well-rounded person.

2. You See The World. By volunteering abroad you can choose the country which you’ve always dreamed of visiting. You could go to Africa and work in an orphanage, visit India and deliver life-saving medication to slum dwellers or work on a conservation project saving turtles in South America. Whatever you do or wherever you go, seeing majestic mountains or crystal clear seas is by far and away more appealing than a rainy Redditch.

3. You Change Lives. One of the major benefits of volunteering abroad is to change lives. By volunteering abroad the time and effort you give on your project will make a difference to peoples’ lives. For example, if you help dig a well for a water pipe, it could keep a village stocked with clean drinking water for years. Even if your volunteering work is just looking after children, the time you spend volunteering will help – it all adds up.

4. You View A Culture From The Inside. By spending time in a country different from the one you grew up in, you will be given a unique learning experience by interacting with a new culture. You may learn a new language, try new foods, have to dress differently. Wherever it is you go you will view a culture from the inside – helping to challenge proposed “norms” and making you a more well-rounded person.

5. You Meet New People. You will not be alone when you volunteer abroad. For years you have probably surrounded yourself with the same friends and same family members, without branching out and meeting new people. What could be better than jetting off abroad and interacting with people from all four corners of the world? People who work abroad make friends for life – and, with the advent of Facebook, keeping in touch with them and reminiscing about the time you spent together is easier than ever.

6. You Can Influence Your Future Career. You might have spent years studying accountancy. You may know everything there is to know about English Literature. But two weeks spent abroad helping orphans afflicted by AIDS can put it all into perspective. You may come back and decide you don’t want to photocopy spreadsheets or write email marketing newsletters for a company which sells lawnmowers. Volunteering abroad really can influence your future career.

7. You Boost Your CV. But finally, the biggest benefit for volunteering abroad is that it will boost your CV. Jobs nowadays are few and far between. Spend a few weeks abroad making a difference to people’s lives, meeting new people, trying new things and having new experiences and you will have something to put on your CV which stands out. You will not only stand out from the competition when you go for an interview, you’ll be showing prospective employers you’re motivated, you’ve got guts and interpersonal skills far and above your peers.

Author Bio: Original Volunteers is a provider of voluntary work opportunities across the world. For information on how you can work abroad please visit the website.

May 3, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In Cambodia

When celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay visited Cambodia as part of his Great Escape series, he didn’t exactly showcase the best this incredible country has to offer. Amongst other things, he caught and ate spiders and went hunting for frogs to serve as a dish. While we leave the eating of anthropoids to Gordon, here are seven reasons why Cambodia holidays are the way forward.

1. Cambodia Holidays Are Easy On The Wallet. A typical meal from a street vendor will cost you $2 or $3 and from there the price to quality ratio keeps climbing. For $20 you can enjoy three unforgettable courses at ethical restaurants like Romdeng in Phnom Penh (part of a great NGO network). How about a main of Fish Amok finished off with a desert of deep fried sugar-rice dumplings served with ice-cream – sound good?

2. Angkor Wat? Well, actually it is one of the world’s finest religious sites. Yes, this 12th century Khmer and Dravidian temple complex is famous the world over. UNESCO protected Angkor was ‘rediscovered’ by tourism after the last of the murderous regime of the Khmer Rouge left towards the end of the 1980s and into the 1990s. Since then it has wowed tourists from across the globe. It enjoyed a particular spike in popularity after Angelina Jolie bought the dream of geeks – Lady Lara Croft – to the big screen in 2001. Angkor is the perfect addition to your holiday.

3. The People. Despite years of turmoil, from the horrors of the American-Vietnam war through the 60s and 70s and then the abhorrent regime of the Khmer Rouge in the 70s and 80s, Cambodians have faced their challenges with one large and enduring smile. Cambodia is home to hundreds of distinct cultures and its people can be found in the bright (ish) cities of Phnom Penh and (only really famous for being so close to Angkor Wat) Siem Reap. It is however, in the countryside & small towns where you’ll meet the real people of Cambodia. Quieter towns like Battambang offer a more unique insight to Cambodia life and really add that ‘cultural’ dimension to your holiday. As with all destinations just wandering the streets or embarking on a traditional home-stay are great ways to meet the people.

4. Beaches. No holiday is complete without some time in the beach. Cambodia southern coast is truly unique. Ever been to Hawaii, Kuta or Spain and seen what a thousand sun-burned bodies look like? Well, not in Cambodia – you have access to hundreds of miles of unspoiled beaches that offer views like Thailand but with half the crowds. Cambodia’s southern coast has a smattering of resorts. Sokha Beach is the largest and most popular (especially with backpackers) but Kep and Kampot (3 hours from the capital, Phnom Penh) offer solid holiday accommodation and real tranquillity.

5. Access. Getting there is a doddle. Cambodia is well serviced by the busy regional hub airports of Bangkok and Singapore that deal with holidaymakers the world over. After a neon-lit night of fun in Bangkok or cocktail-based revelry in splendiferous Singapore hop aboard your regional connection to Phnom Penh or Siem Reap to begin you holiday of a lifetime.

6. Accommodation. From 5* hotels such as the Hotel De La Paix (a favourite for celebrities!) or Raffles in Siem Reap to cosy home-stays in rural Cambodia, you will not be left wanting.

7. Tonle Sap Lake. No, not like many ‘lakes’ tourists are sold; Tonle Sap is a real lake. Not only is it a ‘real’ lake, it is also colossal!! In fact, it is the largest fresh-water lake in South East Asia. For those that like factoids its year-round average size is 2,700 square km. A visit is a must.

Author Bio: Kian has travelled extensively in Asia. His favourite destination in Cambodia is the town of Battambang and his favourite holiday experience is watching the sunrise over Angkor Wat away from the crowds.

March 23, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Spain Is The Best Destination

Spain may have a reputation for foam parties, fry ups and British tourists who still think it’s fashionable to pop knotted hankies on their heads but that’s not the reality at all. There are a multitude of reasons why Spain is the best destination for you and I promise that there will be absolutely no mention of Magaluf, Benidorm or bull fighting.

1. It’s Close. Far away destinations are all very well but jetlag’s a bitch and ticket prices can be astronomical. Look at it this way, you can snap up cheap flights to Alicante, hop on a plane and be on the beach (or bar) in next to no time. Plus, there’s no need for injections.

2. Fantastic Food. Spaniards don’t mess around with vegetables – they like to stick to the most awesome of the food groups – meat, seafood and carbs. What more could you want from a holiday than mounds of tasty paella accompanied with a mountain of chorizo, bread and cheese? Tapas comes in tiny portions as well so it’s possible to kid yourself into believing that because you are eating from a little plate, you are actually being healthy. I’m just not sure that rule applies after 10 plates!

3. Boozing. Spaniards know how to drink. I read somewhere that Spain comes 9th worldwide on the wine consumption scale with the average Spaniard drinking 38 litres of wine a year. If that doesn’t deserve a high 5, I don’t know what does.

4. Siestas. Any nation which takes a break in the middle of the day for a nap has got their priorities right. No-one wants to be slaving away in the midday heat but the rest of us are too proud to admit it and soldier on regardless. Spain knows what’s up. Just because we’re adults, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t indulge in an afternoon nap – life’s too short.

5. Sun, sea and sand. You’re on holiday – you shouldn’t have to wear much else other than swimwear and flip-flops. The Spanish climate is delightful. Team that with the 3000km of beaches and bath-like water temperatures and you’re on to a winner.

6. Nightlife. In Spain, people don’t even venture out of the house until midnight. Napping during the day gives you more energy to party until the sun comes up…and they do.

7. Attractive People. Her music may be rubbish but when it comes to boyfriend choices, Kylie Minogue knows her stuff. Kylie’s Top Tip – go for the Spaniards. Her latest squeeze Andres Velencoso hails from Tossa de Mar in Catalonia. Other Spanish hotties include supermodel Jon Kortajarena and let’s not forget one of the world’s most beautiful couples – Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem. The Spanish have the dark and brooding look nailed – surely that’s reason alone why Spain is the best destination…

March 22, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Road Trips Are Awesome

There’s no better feeling than the wind in your hair, the open road ahead of you and some pumping tunes on the radio. You have only two objectives – get from A to B and have fun. Here’s seven reasons why road trips rock.

1. You Get to Drive Something Different. Although you can opt to take your crappy Nissan Micra cross-country – where’s the fun in that? A road trip is the prime opportunity to hit that car hire firm and rent the vehicle of your dreams. Go wild. Cadillac, camper van, Monster Truck – the choice is yours. Just remember three things, it needs to be comfortable, you need to opt for a vehicle with cup holders – so as to ensure that passengers can be hydrated with no risk of spillage – and you need a sound system that goes up loud!

2. Power Rock. Road trips are 25% about the journey and 75% about the tunes that you choose to accompany your epic voyage. This is your prime opportunity to delve into the greats of 80’s/90’s power rock. I mean screeching guitars, high pitched man voices and lots of opportunities for throwing your rock fingers into the air and waggling your tongues ‘Gene Simmons-style’ at the children trying to peacefully watch ‘Lady and the Tramp’ in the next car.

3. Road Trip Games. When else in your adult life do you get to play games? Any sport with a referee doesn’t count. I’m talking good old-fashioned car journey games. There is something about the fact that you are cooped up in a car that makes even the simplest game amazing. In every day life you may see six, maybe seven yellow cars a day and allow them to pass by without comment. Suddenly, simply your location means that the appearance of a yellow vehicle will have you acknowledging its presence with a shrill cry of victory and a short, sharp jab to your partners arm. When else is violence condoned? Ordinarily you may be saddened to see a poor little badger deceased on the side of the road – not when your objective is to spot the road kill before you companions. Embrace the games.

4. Junk Food. No matter where you are travelling, chances are you won’t be able to be healthy. So don’t beat yourself up about it. Drink that Red Bull even when you heart tells you it can take no more. Scoff those Haribo and Pringles safe in the knowledge that they were the only option in the Texaco garage on the M42. And, if you have to, follow those golden arches. This may well be the only time that it is acceptable to step inside the home of that creepy clown and heck…supersize it if you want – you need the energy.

5. Interesting Characters. What’s the one thing that crops up without fail in road movies? Unusual characters. It’s inevitable. Whether it be a minibus full of boisterous football fans on their way home from a match – eager to show you what’s under their clothes – or a handsome cowboy who seduces you and then steals all of your bail money, it will happen so have a contingency plan.

6. Arguments. Whenever map reading is involved, there will be arguments. Use them as therapy, air your woes and criticise your companions’ foibles. Get it out, you’ll feel lighter. See it as ‘On-the-Road Healing’.

7. Saving Money. Your outgoings are petrol and snacks, none of this airport tax malarkey or being charged extra by the cretins at Ryanair for a blanket in their sub-zero plane cabin. These saved pennies can be used to stock up on fun road trip activities or as extra beer money when you finally reach your destination. Bonus.

March 1, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Travel By Train

Some people have got a real grudge against train travel. We want to change opinions, so here are seven great reasons to travel by train:

1. Someone Else Is Driving. Which means you don’t have to concentrate on anything (except maybe which stop you need to be getting off). You’re free to let your mind wander, whether it be to what you want to eat for tea or how you can help solve world peace. You could never find the solution to world harmony while you’re watching your speed, checking your mirrors and beeping your horn at the idiot who just cut you up.

2. It’s Like Real Life Facebook. Yes, you can actually meet people. If you’re single, then trains are a fantastic dating opportunity. Meeting your future spouse on a train is admittedly not very glamorous, but there is something infinitely romantic about locking eyes with a perfect stranger across the buffet cart. And it’s not just the train itself – many people have found love on the station platform. As you wait patiently behind the yellow line, remember that a different kind of train could arrive at any moment…

3. Green And Pleasant Land. You get to see more of the country. Rolling hills, beautiful coastline, stunning valleys – railway lines can often take you were other modes of transport simply cannot go. If you’ve opted for cheap train tickets to Birmingham, then the view might not be so aesthetically pleasing. But it’s not all disused warehouses and graffiti-clad walls – there really are some amazing sights to be seen from a train window.

4. Meals On Wheels. Who doesn’t love the refreshment trolley? There is nothing nicer than sitting back and enjoying a delicious cheese ploughman’s sandwich whilst watching the countryside roll by.

5. Cash To Splash. It’s great value for money. You can get a great deal with train tickets, meaning you have more cash to spend on that new pair of jeans/handbag/Xbox game/car/house/pet budgie.

6. Sense Of Direction. You can’t get lost on the way. Forget sat navs telling you to ‘turn around when possible’, forget trying to navigate around unpronounceable places and forget arguing with other people over who was right about that last junction. Trains get you from A to B without ever getting lost.

7. Sans Frisk. You can board a train without having your bottle of water confiscated, being forced to remove your shoes and then being groped by a burly security guard. Should you be particularly attached to any of your possessions, such as a special screwdriver, personalised ice skates or a rare range of party poppers, you can also rest assured that these will not be taken away from you on a train.

February 1, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Lose Some Weight

Today we are joined on the 7 Reasons sofa by Chris. Chris works as a financial blogger for moneysupermarket.com life insurance, and spends quite a lot of time writing about how losing weight and getting fit can help save you money on it. This year he decided to stop being such a hypocrite and sort his life out, and thought he’d go on about it endlessly both in real life and on people’s websites too. He’s also arguably funnier than we have ever been, which is a bit annoying.

Disclaimer: Neither of these men is Chris.

This year, I’ve lost just over 80 pounds in weight. No, no – don’t congratulate me. It’s nothing, really. However, if you really do want to do something for me, why not read my seven reasons why you should definitely lose weight?

1. No Longer Looking Like James Corden. This one is probably personal to me – I recently watched my friend’s wedding day video and it looks like he hired a really bad James Corden impersonator to be his best man. The best man’s speech looks like Smithy from Gavin and Bloody Stacey came barrelling in at the last moment and started taking the mick out of the poor groom while his mother looked on, aghast. I hate James Corden more than I probably should for exactly this reason.

2. Not Sweating Constantly From May To August. You know what’s really not attractive? Sweating. Especially when you can’t stop it from the moment the British weather goes a degree or two over its usual dank quagmire of about 10 degrees Celsius. I used to look like a Death Star with a leak; I’d take to hiding inside on warm days and peering out of the window like that guy from Rear Window – not exactly the best way to live your life, but arguably the best way to be near to your Pringles and the fridge.

3. Being Able To Look At Yourself In The Mirror. “Oh, hello there, me”, I quite often say now when I see myself in the mirror. “I didn’t see you there, what with you being so slender and lithe and flitting in and out through the trees like an ephemeral, gossamer thin slip of silk.”

Yeah, it’s probably quite strange that I have trees in my bathroom, but don’t judge me, man. It’s better than what I used to say to myself in the mirror, which was usually something like “Hey! You! *noisy breath* do you have any sausages? I really want a sausage but we don’t seem to have any…”

4. Being Able To Buy ‘Normal People’ Clothes. Thankfully, I was never quite relegated to the dark depths of the “big and tall” shop, but upon reaching the outer limits of even Asda’s generously sized clothing range, you do start to wonder whether you might be getting a bit too portly. Losing weight means you no longer have to worry about clothes not fitting, and can join the rest of the world in despairing because shops don’t stock anywhere near enough of the average sized stuff so all they ever have is for dolls or Silverback Gorillas.

5. A Better Class Of Nicknames. Big Boy. Big Man. Shrek. A Poor Man’s James Corden. Two of those are things I’ve called myself; the nicer two are indicative of the sorts of things people would refer to me as, rather than going “And what about you, Tubbo the Lardy?” Oddly, people seem to think that names like this are acceptable because you’ve not used the word Fat. True enough, it still amazes me how many perfect strangers start conversations with me by saying “Cuh, you’ve lost some weight, haven’t you?”, but that’s nicer than a fat joke wrapped in a nice coating – like an easter egg.

6. The Looks You Get When You Buy Food. So myself and my girlfriend are in a restaurant together. It’s a nice day, it’s lunchtime, and I know I’ve got food at home for my tea – I order a salad, and whilst I’m saying the words, I watch.
One…Two…Ping!
There they are. The raised eyebrows of a waiter or waitress who expected me to heavily and slimily drool the word “Burger!” through my sticky, salty lips until they brought me one and I devoured it like an Amoeba absorbs plant cells. Every bloody time. This is usually followed by the assumption that the person bringing the food normally makes; the one where they look at me and then the salad, then assumes they’ve got something for a different table.
This of course is very similar to that begging look the waiter would have if I did order a burger or similar; that look that says “Okay, but please don’t have a heart attack in here – at least not until 7 o’clock, when my shift finishes…”

7. Ego Inflation. When was the last time someone told you you looked fantastic, or said that they wish you could do what you do? Of course, if you’re Elle Macpherson’s identical twin who happens to do brain surgery, then it’s probably quite a lot, but for those of us normal human beings, a nice compliment probably doesn’t happen all that often. Lose a bit of weight though and they’ll come from all over the shop – lose enough and you’ll start doing what I do, where you deliberately don’t see someone for a few weeks, just so when you come strutting into the pub in your new jeans and crop top (shut up, I like showing off), they’re amazed. Losing weight doesn’t make you more confident, but everyone telling you how great you look sure as hell does!

October 31, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Glastonbury Rocks

Last week we had Luke Glassford on the 7 Reasons sofa suggesting Glastonbury wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. At the end of his piece you may remember that he said he was looking forward to the counter-argument. This week we have it. Stepping up to the plate and batting for the other side (you know what I mean) is Adam Robinson. And here are his seven reasons why, actually, Glastonbury rocks your socks off.

1. One Man’s Junk Is Another Man’s Junk. Don’t worry about litter or what to do with those ironically named disposable barbecues. When the festival ends, the farm opens its gates again for more partying but there is no music. They are here; armed with refuse sacks and a whole lot of enthusiasm, to clean the place up, field by field. They are like a swarm of bees. Nay, they are like vultures feasting on the dying embers of the planets greatest party. But, to their credit, they leave no trace and they depart with a smile on their face. Their reward is the right to keep anything of perceived value that they find. Oh, and don’t pre-judge what might be of value. I saw a smiley chap skipping around trying to make a kite out of an abandoned tent. I think he was trying to fly home.

2. New Appreciation. As you anticipate the headline set from ‘that band’ that they spoke about on Radio 1, you leave the Pyramid Stage with all its colourful flags and TV cameras. You have an hour to kill and your nomadic instinct brings you to the Other Stage. You know that band that your sister likes? Well, they are five minutes into their set and they seem to have a certain presence. You see, Glastonbury is a place for great live music. You may not like their album. You may even ridicule your sister. But today you learned that a band that has a great live act is, well, great live. More discoveries await. You might pass on that headline act. They’re not even that good live.

3. Play It Again. Such is the draw of Glastonbury and all the kudos that goes with it that popular artists of yesteryear tend to make a rare appearance. Sure, it wasn’t the complete original line-up of Kool and the Gang this year but the surviving members have still got it and quite frankly, that’s not even important. The fact is, the younger audience will not have had a chance to see them before (or even heard of them) and the older audience might not have imagined they’d see them again. We are privileged. They may not be making a comeback and they may not have a one-off reunion concert planned at Wembley. But this is Glastonbury. How could they possibly refuse?

4. Toilets. That’s right. They stink and you have to queue for ages for the experience. But let’s face it; everybody has a memorable Glastonbury portaloo moment or a funny story to tell. I know I’ve got a few. Some too grim to share, some so funny I just love it when people say ‘so, how were the toilets?’ I get to tell them of the time when the smartass security meatheads drove over the pressurised toilet sucky pipey thingy thus covering their precious Land Rover in human ……er… poo. They deserved it and I laughed (and sneezed) for days. Glastonbury is about memories and I’ve got plenty that wouldn’t look out of place in a ‘Jackass’ movie.

5. Keep Your Eyes Peeled, They Won’t Just Be On Stage. The artists have come to have fun too. Why should they miss out? The most eagle eyed BBC cameraman will catch a fair amount of off duty singers and other such A-listers bopping around, singing along to their favourite bands. But, if you dig a little deeper, away from all the action for just a while, you might get to experience some real treats. The Banyan Tree, for instance, is a tent not much bigger than my living room. It wasn’t unusual, however, to witness the keyboard player from Death in Vegas jamming with an unsigned band before a crowd of about 25 people the night before his own set.

6. The Glade And Other Such Spin-Offs. Glastonbury Festival wouldn’t be such a global phenomenon if it didn’t promote diversity. It’s not all about hippies. Take The Glade for instance. So popular, it now has its own festival, thanks, in no small part, to its uniqueness. Okay, so you may have strolled past the Dance Tent and realised that there’s even a place for thumping bass bins and DJ’s at Glastonbury. But The Glade wouldn’t look out of place on a Star Wars set. Is it a field? Is it a tent? No, it’s a small, illuminated forest and the DJ’s ply their trade from the safety of a tree house. As you stomp around with the other druids whilst listening to Aphex Twin, you might actually feel like you have landed on Endor except there aren’t scary little creatures making funny noises. Wait, we’re listening to Aphex Twin.

7. The People. People come to enjoy themselves but not at the expense of others. Sure, there are big crowds but there’s no pushing and shoving and if you bump into someone, the chances are they’ll turn round and apologise to you. It’s like one big Glastonbury family sharing one special experience. If your ears need a break and you want to chill out, why spend half an hour looking for your tent when you can go and visit the Stone Circle or the Healing Fields. It’s peaceful there, man.

July 2, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Glastonbury Sucks

This week Luke Glassford has taken the 7 Reasons sofa to a field far, far away. Luke is the chief music writer for music news and review site, All-Noise.co.uk and has been to Glastonbury more times than he would ever admit.

Yes people, it’s that time of year again – festival season! When everyone suddenly becomes a super-cool, shades-and-wellies wearing fashionista and likes to prattle on about how much of a ‘proper music’ fan they are. Right in the middle of this hyped-up, giddy season of festivals is Glastonbury – the biggest, oldest and oh-so coolest of all the summer festivals. And here’s 7 reasons why it sucks!

1. Travel. The first ‘festival’ thing you will do is make your way to the festival site. Like going on holiday, this is always the best bit. Except, unlike your holiday, the journey will come to an abrupt end about 50 miles away from your destination because of massive, soul-draining, spirit-crushing tailbacks. And if you think the 7 hours of stop-start traffic on the way there is bad, just wait until you leave on Monday morning – when you’re tired, dirty and in absolutely no mood to be queuing up for hours just to get out the car park!

2. Toilets. Where there’s lots of people, there’s lots of poo. It’s just a fact of life. At festivals, toilets become stinking, disgusting cess pits which make you more aware of everyone else’s bodily functions than ever. This also makes you much more aware of your own bodily functions and you will, at one point, have this conversation with yourself: “Right, I’m front and centre at the Pyramid stage and my favourite bands on in 10 minutes – God I love Glasto. Oh, hold on, do I need a wee? Maybe, but I should be able to hold it. No, I’ve thought about it now, it’ll only get worse. Ill have to go find the toilets. But how am I going to find my way back to this great spot? The queue will be massive too – I’ll probably miss half the gig. Well I can’t hold it for 2 hours now so Ill have to go, lose my friends and lose my great spot to go stand in a toilet queue for an hour. God I hate Glasto!”

3. Camping. Everyone ‘lucky’ enough to be going to Glastonbury needs to ask themselves: “When did I last go camping?” and “Why have I not been since then?” The answers will probably be: “Ages ago” and “Because it was crap”. Now picture that crap camping experience at that picturesque location with the shower block. Now picture an overcrowded field with tents and guide-ropes pointed in a myriad of angles, trapping you in a cess pit of drunken louts and annoying, squealing teenagers – that’s Glastonbury!

4. Weather. Yes we’re British so we have to moan about the weather. But no-one likes rain when they’re trying to enjoy themselves. Eating fast-food and drinking lager is no fun whatsoever when it’s raining. It’s also no fun when it makes a quick trip to The Other Stage a tiring ordeal made all the worse by the fact all you can do when you get there is stand ankle deep in mud and get rained on. And what do you do next? Why, go back to your flooded tent of course!

5. Expense. It’s not only the fact it costs so much. It’s more the rigmarole you go through for the privilege of just getting the chance to pay for a ticket. Filling out a massive, intrusive form will get your foot in the door. Then you have to get a ticket. Sitting in your dressing gown for 4 hours with your laptop on, pressing ‘refresh’ every 10 seconds while hitting redial on your phone. At 9am. On a bloody Sunday!

6. Other People. No matter what fun activity you do in your life, one factor will always ruin it – other people. They get in the way, push in in queues, throw cups of wee all over the audience and generally annoy you.

7. U2. Just when you think Glastonbury couldn’t get any more suckier, they wheel out your mum’s favourite ‘rock’ band for an opening night smug-fest on the Pyramid Stage. There’s not much more to say to justify this point except – if you’re looking forward to seeing U2 then you probably deserve all the horrible, soul-destroying stuff that is going to happen to you over the weekend!

Obviously, this is quite a pessimistic view of Glastonbury and there is fun to be had – so we look forward to a follow-up here on 7reasons.org called something like “7 Reasons Why Glastonbury Rocked!!!” (If you can think of 7 things that is!)

June 25, 2011