1.  Self promotion.  Every year, Michael Winner sends out a Christmas card that promotes him, his books and his television show.  He’ll send it to any of the readers of his Winner’s Dinners column in the Sunday Times who send him their address.  Would you want Michael Winner to have your address?  What if he came to visit?  What if he told you to “calm down, dear”?  The best case scenario is that you’ll get something with a...

Pigeons: Beastly smelly scary creatures with wings. Here are seven reasons to hate them.

1.  Spots.  As surely as crumpets will land butter side down or jam will spill on your new tie, it is inevitable that on the morning you’re attending a wedding, you’ll wake up with a spot on your face.  This always happens.  The size and prominence of the spot is governed by the importance of your role at the wedding, ranging from a minor blemish (your second cousin’s wedding) through a noticeable carbuncle (your brother’s wedding),...