Tag: london

Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Get, Be Or Stay Fat in 2012

In 2012 we have seen the London Olympic and Paralympic Games light up the World’s enthusiasm for sport and fitness. And, if you’re a bit on the tubby side, you might a bit jealous of all your friends joining up to local sports clubs and teams. Fear not though, help is at hand.

Being overweight, or the new politically friendly term ‘obese’, has never been such a pain in the arse. A shorter life expectancy and a greater risk of a heart attack are the worst of your problems. In a world where we are constantly consuming to feel content, I give you 7 reasons why you shouldn’t get fat, be fat or stay fat in 2012:

1. You can’t fit on roller coasters. Everyone loves a day out at the sea side or theme park. Well, stricter regulations on theme park rides mean that weight and high limitations, if broken, can resort in some hefty fines and penalties. You don’t want to be the one not able to fit your arse in the seat, hold up the roller coaster or be the reason why your favourite ride has stopped working do you?

2. You miss out on sports. If you can’t run then you can’t play many sports. That means a kick around in the park after work on a Tuesday is out of the question – unless you want to stand around in goal doing jack all of course? Missing out on sport means you miss out on social interaction with your friends, colleagues or family. Taking part in sports and creating memories is priceless. Sitting down on a park bench and watching is sad and depressing.

3. You can’t wear and use… The problem with being fat is that you can’t wear or use everything you want to; you may have fat fingers that stop you using an iPhone for example. Some clothes and underpants need to avoided at all costs! If you are a larger lady then you should avoid wearing revealing cloths and underwear, only your partner wants to see that. So, please, keep it in the bedroom.

4. You are not flexible. The thing about being fat is that you are just not flexible, bending over take years and walking anywhere is impossible. Sex is usually only in one of two positions and once those joints start going you are screwed for life (not literally). One final thought, have you ever seen a fat person doing yoga?

5. Dieting can be boring. When you have been used to eating MacDonald’s and chips for the best part of a decade, going on a diet can be one of the hardest things an overweight person can do. Salads will never fully satisfy your cravings and cutting out carbs is unimaginable. Frightening even. The thing about being at a happy weight is that you can enjoy the finer foods in life, like a takeaway pizza once a week and a bacon sandwich to help that Sunday morning hangover.

6. Drinking sucks. The more pounds you have, the harder it can be to get…you know, loosened up. That means drinking becomes more expensive. The bad thing about being overweight on a night out with the lads or ladies is that you may usually be the only one skint and sober, while everyone else is having all the fun. And the good thing for them is they won’t remember when they went all camp on you when the DJ stuck YMCA on. You, definitely will.

7. You will be paranoid. If you are not happy with the way you look then other people are going to notice, your confidence will be low. You will start to wear baggy clothes and change the way you look and how you do things. All these things are noticeable and potentially unavoidable when you put on weight. You won’t want to see yourself in any photos and that means a whole lot of untagging on Facebook. Eventually it’ll be easier to stay in every night. And get the takeaway menus out again…

This post was created by a skinny boy on behalf of Powerhouse Fitness a leading online retailer in gym equipment and sport nutrition.

September 6, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Britain Still Rules The World

The nation is sick of austerity measures, no-one has any money, the cost of living is moving ever-upwards and it’s almost impossible to find a decent job. No wonder many people think the days of cool Britannia are well and truly in the past. But although things might feel difficult right now, here are seven reasons why the UK is still the best place to live.

1. Sterling is still king. Whether you are pro or anti Europe, there’s no denying the fact that the Euro is in a lot of trouble right now. Even strong economies such as Germany are starting to be dragged down by weaker nations in the EU. The various members of the single currency are struggling to agree on the way forward and, at the moment, opinion is divided about whether the Euro will survive. Keeping the pound has protected Brits from much of the strife on the continent.

2. Get more for your money. Although the problems in the EU have had an impact on British trade, it hasn’t spelt bad news for everyone. The strength of Sterling against the Euro means UK holidaymakers can get much more for their pound. With money in short supply, being able to enjoy a break much cheaper than anticipated, because of the good exchange rate, is an unexpected bonus for many people.

3. A good credit rating. Britain has a debt problem and much has been written about it. However, despite this, it has retained its triple-A credit rating, meaning that it will be much quicker to pay off what it owes. Having a worse credit rating means the UK would have to pay more in interest. Many other nations have been stripped of their AAA ranking.

4. Taxes help support our country. The structure is essentially sound. In Britain, the vast majority of people pay their taxes which, whilst being unpopular, means the government can rely on a steady stream of income to boost its coffers. In countries such as Greece, not only have allegations of corruption been highlighted as a primary debt cause, there is a culture of non-payment of tax, making it impossible for the government to draw up a budget.

5. Protecting the public’s interest. The financial services industry has a watchdog, regulator and a body to adjudicate on complaints. There is also the Office of Fair Trading, as well as numerous consumer bodies, such as Which? to protect the public’s interests. This means that if an organisation steps out of line – and of course, it does happen – the chances of them going undetected are virtually zero.

6. Industrial strength. There are tiny green shoots of revival. Although many areas are still looking fairly grim, there are signs that the country has overcome the worst. The manufacturing and industrial sector has started to expand and there is a lot of interest overseas in UK-produced cars. The recent contract awarded to the UK over Germany was a major boost to the economy. Inflation has also started to come under control.

7. Austerity measures aren’t as tough as other countries. Overseas, it is going to get worse before it gets better. Portugal, Greece and Spain have all had to agree to tough austerity measures – far worse than the UK – in order to get the rescue handout they needed. That isn’t going to be a comfortable ride for those who live there.

Baines & Ernst have helped more than 100,000 people to escape the pressures of debt. For debt help and advice in the UK, speak to Baines & Ernst.

August 3, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Bob Diamond Had To Go – Shine On You Crazy Diamond

In the past few weeks Barclays big dog Bob Diamond has seen more turgid inches than Katie Price in her pomp. Column inches that is (of course, what were you thinking?), as the Barclays Libor scandal has flipped a plethora of wigs in the financial world – and in this sphere there are plenty to flip.

Diamond and co-conspirators (or clueless simpletons as many have claimed, trying to avoid the axe), passed the buck so much that it got misplaced. Thankfully it was recovered from the lost and found and pinned securely to Bob’s head, which was now very much on the block. So, why exactly did the Barclays boss have to go? I can think of, hmm, 7 reasons:

1. What’s in a name? Well… Judging people by their name is just wrong. It’s unfair, prejudiced, illogical and stupid. But Bob Diamond – really? Bankers should be trustworthy and reliable. It could be hypothetically scientifically impossible for anyone named Bob Diamond to be trustworthy. I got a GCSE in science – well I took a GCSE in science – so I should know. I’m pretty sure that Bob Diamond is a name designed specifically for second hand car dealers and scrap metal thieves. Would you trust a Bob Diamond with your money?

2. All that glitters… The Barclays scandal arose because Bob (yes I know him well enough to call him Bob now), apparently ordered the fixing of the Barclays Libor rate. This is the rate at which banks lend to each other and it indicates the financial position of an institution. Betting and trading on currency rates and market movements is one thing, but fixing is quite another. By doing this Bob was suggesting that Barclays was in a better position than it was. Naughty Bob!

3. A hole in the head for business. This fixing clearly indicates that – as well as being deceitful and dishonest – the Bobster has a hole in the head for business. Oh Bob why did you have to go and ruin a good career in investments, wealth management and other pecuniary matters with this scandalous move? Some critics have claimed it’s because he’s American; others that it was a cry for help; others that this was just the first time he was caught.

4. Blood ‘Diamond’ Conflict. When it became public knowledge that the Barclays Libor rate had been fixed, it ‘proper kicked off’ at the bank, as the Financial Times reported (or some other, perhaps imaginary publication). As mentioned the buck was passed furiously but among all the dizzy bankers, it was Diamond whose blood they were after. It was Diamond that had to go, as well as executive chairman Marcus Agius.

5. Diamond not a banker’s best friend. Squirm as he might Bobby couldn’t escape his fate; especially after he was grassed up by ‘right hand man’, Barclays executive Jerry del Missier, who told the Treasury Select Committee that Diamond had order him to fix the Libor rate. Bob was even less popular when the bank was hit with fines of £290 million.

6. Parliamentary porkies? The final nail in the Bob-shaped coffin was the accusation that Diamond lied to MPs about the scandal, showing again his charming proclivity for untruths that every good banker should have.

7. Bobby bonus. So it was decided/insisted that Bob would have to go, but as he clears his desk the £2 million bonus and benefits he will receive will soften the blow a little. It’s the least he deserves for deluding a trusted bank and a country in economic strife. God bless you Bob – shine on you crazy Diamond.

July 27, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Learn English In The UK

Studying at home requires discipline, dedication and high levels of motivation. Most people find this difficult or a lot of hard work. Learning a language while away on the other hand – well, that’s just exciting. Here’s why:

1. You Get To Meet British People. From eccentric inventors to flamboyant entertainers, the UK is home to more characters than the Chinese alphabet. Getting to know people is one of the best ways to learn a language quickly – and one of the most rewarding. Whether it’s mastering the art of banter, or picking up a few words of slang, making new British friends is an exciting opportunity.

2. It’s A Good Excuse For A Holiday. People have been coming to the UK for a little rest and relaxation for centuries. In 2011 alone, more than 30 million overseas visitors made the journey. Tourism is one of Britain’s largest industries and the nation comes up with innovative ways of entertaining its visitors, seemingly by the hour. Whether it’s walking round Wales via its new coastal path or making a visit to a recently opened National Trust property, there’s always something to do.

For those who want to combine their holiday with a little learning, most English language courses in London and elsewhere incorporate day trips and other excursions into their teaching programmes.

3. You Develop As A Person. As cheesy as it sounds, those who study abroad gain more than just the ability to speak English. Increases in self-reliance and self-confidence are just some of the reported benefits.

4. You Gain New Qualifications. The UK has long been regarded as a centre for academic excellence. It has some 165 higher education institutions and 115 universities. The two most famous – Oxford and Cambridge – are known the world over. It’s no exaggeration to say that the UK is brimming with schools, teachers and a general air of studiousness.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, employers outside the UK are far more impressed with students who have English language qualifications from Britain than they are with those who have done little more than sit at home listening to an audio CD.

5. You Have Fun. Learning a language with other people is fun – especially when the learning is taking place in an exciting new country packed with pubs, clubs and other places designed for good times. Language students are friendly and eager to get to know others on their courses. Where better to cement new friendships than a country famed for its nightlife and natural beauty?

6. The UK Is The Home Of The English Language. Old English first began making an appearance in England’s Anglo-Saxon kingdoms during the 5th century – the word ‘English’ is derived from the name of the Angles from the German region of Schleswig-Holstein. The Norman conquest of England in the 11th century led to the development of Middle English, but it wasn’t until the Great Vowel Shift of the 15th century that Modern English took shape.

The language of Shakespeare, Byron and the Beatles remains closely tied to its country of origin. Language students who visit the UK will gain an understanding of its context that can never be learnt from books alone.

7. Finding A Course Is Easy. The UK is home to more English language courses than anywhere else in the world. For those seeking English language schools London is the nation’s language learning capital. Courses can last from one hour to one year or anything in between. Teaching can take place at a designated centre or at a chosen location. With so much competition between schools, the consumer reigns supreme.

June 6, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Staycate This Summer

1. One Expects Ones Presence At The Diamond Bash. In case you hadn’t noticed, our dear old Queenie will be celebrating 60 years on the throne next month. Now, before you start, I know what you’re going to say, ‘I couldn’t care less about the Royals. The only purpose they serve is as a honey-trap for nostalgia hungry tourists, desperate to relive the days of old, when the monarchy actually had any power.’ Yes, yes, cutting stuff, Mr Opinions. But think of it this way. The Queen is the second longest serving female monarch in HISTORY OF THE WORLD. If she manages another 3 or so years (which is likely, seeing as she has royally appointed medical care) she’ll overtake Queen Victoria and go down in the history books as an incredibly empowering female figure head. And after all, this will most definitely be the only diamond jubilee any of us will be alive to see.

2. London Hasn’t Hosted The Olympics Since 1948. And after this year, it’ll be a very long time before we get the privilege again. That’s not to say we aren’t doing a splendid job, but the financial implications of such a gargantuan privilege have run up a bill close to £24 billion. Since last summer’s riots tore the soul out of the city, a lot of time and resources have gone into restoring London’s international stage status, which is definitely worth experiencing. From the red swirly statue that looks like a blood clot to the ‘fantasticology’ wildflower meadows that run adjacent to the main stadium, London’s had the mother of all makeovers.

3. The Weather Will Get More Exciting, Honest. It’s been a year of radical weather. From the wettest drought on record to a truly unseasonable May, Brits are crying out for the lustre of an endless summer. We are most certainly overdue a hot one and, as much as I want to use words like ‘heat-wave’ and ‘scorcher’ and ‘BBQ summer,’ I can’t, yet. All I can say is this, with wet droughts and dry winters, something exciting is bound to happen. Worst comes to the worst, you’ll save money on sun cream and still have a fun-filled break at a Great Yarmouth Holiday Park.

4. The European Union Is Going, Going… Who knows what will happen, but there are half a dozen countries on the verge of financial collapse and a couple that have already taken the hit. Visitors to Greece, for example, have been told to expect regular strikes, demonstrations, a general threat of terrorism and tear gas at protests. This, in general, is nothing the UK hasn’t dealt with before (minus the tear gas) but tackling these situations in a foreign country can be very testing and dangerous.

5. Hey Shakey, It’s Your Birthday. Shakespeare is 400 this year, Dickens is 200, Bond is 50 and the world’s greatest food invention, the humble sandwich, is 250 years old. There’s a lot of celebrating to do, and us Brits certainly know how to party. In fact, we’re known for it.

6. No Passports Please, We’re British. You heard it here first. If you’re staying in the country that you live in, you don’t need a passport! Jubilation! Not only that, but you don’t have to bother with flights or packing or connections or foreign languages or delays or sunburn or shark attacks. It’s time to appreciate lovely, safe Britain with its familiar quirks, rich diversity and fantastic holiday parks.

7. Stephen Fry Told You To. ‘Why on earth would anyone want to go abroad in 2012? I mean, there are so many events all around the country…’ Well, if the English Treasure bids it, who I am to say otherwise?

May 19, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Celebrate The Diamond Jubilee

1. Time Off Work. The first reason to celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee for many people will be the fact that we won’t have to work between the dates Saturday 2nd June to Tuesday 5th June (inclusive). This upcoming period is often excitedly referred to as a four-day holiday although to be fair two of the days are Saturday and Sunday anyway and we don’t call weekends two-day holidays do we? Still, for everyone, apart from people such as self-employed workers, police staff and BBC royal correspondents, it’s a good chance to forget about the stresses of work.

2. Diamond Jubilees Happen But Once In A Lifetime. Few of us, if any, are likely to see another Diamond Jubilee celebration in our lifetimes. The earliest possible date that Prince Charles could celebrate his Diamond Jubilee in is the year 2072 by which time he would be 123. We might not get a chance to celebrate another Diamond Jubilee so let’s enjoy this one!

3. The British Monarch Is Unique. The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee provides a great opportunity to celebrate how unique British culture is. For instance, how many other Queens of the world can you name (bear in mind that American hip-hop star Queen Latifah isn’t a real queen)?*

4. Rock Stars Playing In Dangerous Locations. What better way is there to mark another royal milestone than by having a rock star perform a song in a dangerous location? At the Queen’s 2002 Golden Jubilee celebrations, Queen guitarist Brian May re-interpreted God Save The Queen on the rooftop of Buckingham Palace. This has heightened anticipation about which rock star will perform at high-altitude during the Diamond Jubilee celebrations. Perhaps royal favourite Elton John will haul his piano on to the Buck Palace rooftop to hammer out a specially-composed song.

5. It’s A Good Chance To See The Queen In England. It’s great to see the Queen on her globe-trotting travels but the Diamond Jubilee means that, for the duration of her tour of Britain, we will get her all to ourselves.

6. The Duke Of Edinburgh. The Diamond Jubilee is also a fine opportunity to acknowledge the Duke of Edinburgh’s sterling service during the Queen’s reign. The monarch’s consort has often tried to be “seen but not heard” but, thankfully, Prince Phillip has never been shy of speaking his mind. It is likely that Camilla and Princess Katherine will have very different styles when they become consort.

7. Long-Service Award. It’s easy to forget that most women of the Queen’s age have been retired for over a quarter of a century. Even on the day of her latest Jubilee she will still be ‘on duty’!

*Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands is the only one I can name.

Author Bio: James Christie writes for kids craft company Baker Ross. Check out the fabulous range of Diamond Jubilee crafts at the Baker Ross website.

April 21, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why It’s Best To Skip The London Olympics

London 2012 Olympic Logo (via Andrea Vascellari)

1. Public Apathy. The 2012 London Olympics begins on Friday, 27th July 2012 and already excited Londoners are basing their holiday plans around this auspicious event – one in ten are planning to go on holiday during the Games to avoid them completely.^ The fact that so many of the ‘hosts’ of the competition are planning to do a runner suggests that the marathon course could be as deserted as the opening scenes of the film 28 Days Later – not a great look.

2. The Weather. There’s a reason why the Olympics are traditionally held in sunny countries. Have you ever seen an Olympics 100m final run in the pouring rain? Let’s see how fast Usain Bolt is when he’s knee-deep in smoggy water as the starting pistol fires.

3. The Logo. Now, be honest; would you stick this piece of art on your fridge door if your child brought it home from school? And for a logo which was designed to reflect the cultural diversity of the games it seems to have upset an amazingly diverse bunch of people. Iran has objected on the grounds that it thinks the logo spells out the word ‘Zion’ and a British man rang a London radio station to claim that he had suffered a seizure while watching footage on television that used the symbol. “It came up on TV and I was thinking about the 2012 Games and then I was out,” he said.

4. The Olympic Torchbearer. The quirky choice of logo raises the worrying possibility that Olympic supremo Sebastian Coe will go for a quirky choice of individual to light the flame at the opening ceremony. While Atlanta had Muhammad Ali to light the cauldron in 1996, it is a terrifying thought that Britain might opt for someone like Kriss Akabusi, Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards or Zara Phillips’ new horse. Lord Coe must put modesty aside and light the torch himself!

5. Organisation. If you excuse the pun, Britain doesn’t have a great track record of organising big events recently. Anyone who remembers the Millennium celebrations will shudder at recalling a glum-looking Queen joining hands with Tony Blair to sing Auld Lang Syne. Blair himself has said that he would have “preferred a visit to the dentist” to attending the opening night of the Millennium Dome and he was the man who rubber-stamped its construction. Then there was the breakdown of the VIP train carrying guests to the ceremony, the decision that the new London Eye wheel wasn’t safe to carry passengers on the big night and Prince Phillip anxiously remarking that the acrobats swinging above his wife’s head didn’t have a safety harness.

6. The Football. Great Britain’s participation in the Olympics football tournament seems to point to a distinct lack of organisational skills. Worries that there would be an English bias to team selection were dismissed by the GB committee – who then put England assistant manager Stuart Pearce in charge of picking the squad. The Welsh FA and Scottish FA soon started discouraging their players from participating for reasons too complicated to detail here and, at time of going to press (29th February 2012) tickets for the matches have yet to sell out.

7. The Stadium. Will it really be ready in time? Delays to the opening of the new Wembley suggest that all may not be smooth. The prospect of the hammer being tossed while builders are still hammering in the final nails is a nightmare scenario which is best enjoyed while sipping a cocktail on a foreign beach. Enjoy!

^Research by Price Waterhouse Cooper, August 2011

Author bio: James Christie writes for Thomson Local, a business directory which is the ideal resource for looking up travel agents when planning a foreign holiday during the Olympics.

February 29, 2012
7 Reasons Not To Have A Conversation With Someone You Think You Know, But Don’t

I have half-an-hour to go before my meeting so I take cover just outside Liverpool Street Station. I’m not alone. Despite the rain we’re a hearty brollyless bunch. A man quips about it being a good job the Evening Standard is now free. We laugh. Probably for a bit too long. A woman decides she’d prefer to get wet. The space she leaves is immediately filled by a man. A man about my age. A man who I end up performing a double-take toward. “I know him!” I think to myself, “That’s.. erm.. that’s Tom!”

1. Introduction. I move towards Tom. He hasn’t seen me yet. I wonder if I should jab him in the ribs or tickle him, then I decide probably not. We hadn’t seen each other for years and even when we did frequent The Mitre in Fulham our relationship never reached rib-jabbing levels. Instead I manoeuvre into his vision and say, “Hello!”

“Hi,” he says back, a little less excitedly than I had hoped.

“Been a while, huh?” I say, lifting my eyebrows in the process as if to add weight to my observational skills.

“Urm, yeah,” he replies, adding lack of interest to his already unexcitable bearing.

2. Awkward Situation One. I get the feeling that Tom doesn’t really want to talk to me. Maybe he has an interview. Maybe he still reckons I owe him for a pint. I rack my brains. I was always good at paying for my round. In fact, I think Tom owes me. I can’t be sure so I decide to let it go. And anyway, I have more pressing matters. Like working out what to do now. It would look weird if I just walked away wouldn’t it? I decide to try and bring him out of his shell.

3. Small Talk. “You still living in the place?” I ask.

“Er.. yeah.”

“Still with Harriet?”

“Who?”

“Harriet? You still with her?”

“I don’t know anyone called Harriet,” he replies. And for the first time he looks directly at me. I freeze.

4. Awkward Situation Two. This isn’t Tom! I don’t know this bloke at all! He doesn’t even look anything like Tom now. What the hell must he be thinking? What the hell am I going to do now? Do I just apologise and move back to my spot? Do I leg it?

5. Weirdness. Then something really odd happens. He doesn’t make his excuses and walk away. He doesn’t just completely ignore me. He doesn’t ask me who I am. Instead he asks me a question. A question I have to ask him to repeat. Twice.

“Do you mean Hannah?”

Do I mean Hannah? Do I? I don’t know. I mean, I do know. I know I don’t mean Hannah. I know I mean Harriet. But this looks like an escape route. A small ray of light down a dark tunnel. I decide to take it.

“Hannah! Yes, not Harriet, I mean Hannah! How is she?”

6. Awkward Situation Three. “Ah, didn’t you hear?”

“Hear what?”

“She died.”

Oh. Bloody hell.

7. Goodbye. If you’ve never been in the situation where you’ve introduced yourself to a stranger only to be told that the stranger’s girlfriend is now dead, I urge you to avoid it. It is quite frankly the worst situation I have ever found myself in. And that includes my next-door neighbour’s garden when I was nine. It took me well over a decade before I was able to look at naked women again. (Mind you that wasn’t down to a lack of effort on my part). I didn’t quite know what to say. I think I just stared at Tom opened mouthed. I couldn’t quite believe it. I suspect we were only stood there for a few seconds not saying anything, but it could have been ten minutes. It’s all something of a blur. I could not quite believe how I had managed to find myself in this situation.

“Anyway,” began ‘Tom’, “I’m going to be late. Sorry just to burden you with that news. Give me a call. We’ll go for a beer.”

He held out his hand. I shook it.

“Yeah, that would be good,” I said, as he began to walk away. “Take care.”

And with that he was gone. I couldn’t call him. I couldn’t go for a beer with him. I didn’t have his number. I had no idea who he was. All I knew is he was a bloke who had once lost someone called Hannah. I headed off towards my meeting feeling a profound sense of sadness. It started raining harder. I held my Evening Standard above my head.

September 9, 2011
7 Reasons That It’s Not As Bad As You Think

Okay! This is a humour site and my country’s been on fire for the last couple of days, so there’s only really one thing that I can write about today, so let’s be funny about the riots. Except, no. That isn’t really going to work, is it? There are people out there losing their homes and livelihoods as a result of them and I’m sure we all have friends and family that are affected, so writing a lot of nonsense about how good the coverage of the riots will look on a brand new (and free) HD television, or how phoning 999 to report themselves will be so much easier now that everyone with a hooded top has an iPhone would seem trite and foolish. Fortunately, though, while events may have saddened me and affected my sense of humour, they haven’t affected my spirit, my love of humanity and my wonderment at peoples’ innate capacity for good and their astonishing ingenuity. Accordingly, here are seven reasons that it’s not as bad as you think.

1. Innovative Brilliance. “Necessity is the mother of invention” said Plato (in Greek, probably) and our brave and hard-working police force need tea. These lovely people have taken the time out to make them some. They’ve also devised the absolute best way to use a riot shield. Is there an image that captures Britain’s spirit better than this?

2. Collective Brilliance. The riots have demonstrated the country’s capacity for collective brilliance. Many, many people decided that they weren’t going to let their (our) streets be wrecked by the mindless idiocy of a few. The Twitter account @riotcleanup was set up and it now has almost 80,000 followers. That’s more people than have been involved in rioting and looting. People have got together in overwhelming numbers for the power of good. This picture by @lawcol888 is wonderfully uplifting.

3. Individual Brilliance. Oscar Levant said that there was “a fine line between genius and insanity” and, from that very line, this woman bravely berates rioters and looters. That there are people in this country courageous and brilliant enough to stand up to a mob so eloquently is wonderful.

4. Expectation-Altering-Brilliance. Stan Collymore (What? Wait, he’s gone mad. He’s been lauding examples of brilliance and now he’s writing about Stan Collymore!?), former Premier League footballer and someone that I have occasionally thought of as a bit of an idiot over the years tweeted this earlier:

Now, professional footballers (and former professional footballers) are often pilloried – sometimes rightly – for behaving poorly and setting a bad example to people and this was unexpected, but it was a cheering and most welcome thing to see, even if he did make me feel like a git.

5. Technological Brilliance. It’s been a while since Britain has seen rioting on this scale and there’ve been a lot of technological advances in the meantime, so it’s fair to say that any online response to it was going to be breaking new ground. The innovative use of social media as a response to events has been staggering. Almost as soon as disturbances began in Birmingham yesterday, the rather brilliant @caseyrain set up a Birmingham Riots Tumblr account to document events in the second city while the attention of the national media was focussed on London. There have been many, many other wonderful examples of innovative use of social media, with Facebook groups (,http://www.facebook.com/londoncleanup), Tumblr accounts (http://catchalooter.tumblr.com/) and websites (http://www.londonrioters.co.uk/identify/) used to promote various causes and to mobilise people into various types of action. That people have used the internet and social media so effectively to mobilize themselves into making our streets better and catching the looters is both marvellous and demonstrative of a laudable degree of collective will and creativity. Oh, and the looters are helping by using Facebook too.

6. Just Utter Brilliance. Don’t want the rioting and looting to ruin your evening? Simple. Just pretend it isn’t happening. “Riot, what riot? I say, could you pass the port, my good man?”

7. Historical Brilliance. The oft-cited high-water-mark of societal unity, sacrifice and collective accomplishment was the way that Britain dealt with the blitz during World War II. The blitz spirit is something that is often mentioned in articles that decry modern society to illustrate a decline in standards and unity, and many commentators on the current situation have spoken of the riots as being symptomatic of a breakdown in society. But rioting and looting are nothing new. During the blitz – that exalted time when our society is seen as having been at its strongest and most cohesive – with a war-depreciated police force and abundance of opportunity there was widespread looting and criminality too. The truth is that there has always been a sociopathic minority in our country ready to exploit any weakness (lack of police cover, evacuated streets etc) for their own personal gain, regardless of the consequences to others. That we don’t let the looting during the blitz affect the high regard in which we hold the selfless sacrifice of the majority during the second world war speaks volumes about us. History tells us that it’s possible to have a strong, dynamic and caring society despite having a minor element that riots and loots. And the way that the majority of Britain has reacted today to the events of the past few days suggests that little has changed. That is heartening.

August 9, 2011
7 Reasons The London 2012 Olympic Medal Isn’t Very British

A year today the XXX Olympiad will be declared open in London. Today – for reasons I have failed to establish – Britain is celebrating this fact. As part of these celebrations, the medal which will be awarded to winners (as well as first and second losers) has been unveiled. The gold version looks like this:

Now, I know what you are thinking. It’s not very British. Which is why we here at 7 Reasons have designed seven alternatives.

1. Weather. Despite our recent protestations it does seem that the vast majority of Britons love the weather. And certainly, if you ask a foreigner, they’ll say we are absolutely obsessed with it. So why didn’t we celebrate that?

2. Chavs. I can’t say I’m a massive fan, but chavs as fundamental a part of British society as Morecambe & Wise, fish & chips and Andrew Strauss’ jock-strap.

3. Tea. For some bizarre and unfathomable reason one half of the 7 Reasons team doesn’t drink tea. I dare say he also harbours a deep desire to be French. Still, we can’t go around catering for one misinformed individual. The fact is, tea is British (possibly via China) and Britishness is tea. And we should have celebrated it.

4. Royalty. Another very British trait is our love for the Royal Family. At least it is if you ask an American. Goodness knows how they’d react if they ever met a Republican. Of all the Royals though, there is particular fondness and admiration for the Queen. Which is why this medal celebrates Freddie Mercury’s moustache.

5. Queue. Unlike the French who riot (or go on strike) if someone beats them to a till, us Brits love a good queue. We could be in it for hours and not even stifle a yawn. We’ll be dealt with eventually. Just bide your time Britain, bide your time. And wear a queuing medal.

6. Pride. We don’t moan, we don’t complain, we don’t sulk. We just suck in the big ones, take it on the chin and carry on. That is the British way. Which is why we’d have liked to have seen Usain Bolt wearing a medal that depicts Leslie Ash’s stiff upper lip.

7. Beer. When the day is done and the battle has been won, there is nothing that hits the spot quite like a warm beer with a massive head.

July 27, 2011