7 Reasons

Tag: Location

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Social Media Is More Important Than Record Labels

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Social Media Is More Important Than Record Labels

    7 Reasons Why Social Media Is More Important Than Record Labels

    1.  Find Likeminded Fans. Record labels can only promote your music using a scattergun approach, advertising to everyone within a certain demographic. Using social media means that word will spread among friends who know each other’s taste and may well share it so when they find an artist they like.

    2.  Get People Talking. No matter how much money a record label throws at an artist, there’s no guarantee that anyone will be interested in buying their albums or seeing them play. A buzz on social media is much more likely to draw people’s attention as they will hear about it through their friends and social contacts. Viral marketing is a powerful tool when it comes to attracting attention to your music and many bands have built their careers on the basis of a grassroots movement among fans who have discovered their music online.

    3.  Share Your Music. A record label will be concerned with getting people to buy your music, but when you use social media you can share your music and let people listen to it without having to commit to making a purchase. This allows people to follow an artist’s progress and see how their sound grows as they mature. The outlay for the musician is also minimal as there is no need to pay to have CDs pressed or spend money on marketing. They can focus on just making music.

    4.  No Compromise. If you know how you want to sound and feel passionate about your music, then you don’t want to have to change it to suit a record label’s agenda. For many artists, keeping the music at the forefront is crucial.

    5.  The Importance of Live Music. With so many studio tricks possible, live music could be a dying art if it weren’t for social media. Listening to a band or artist performing their unedited tracks online could encourage people to go to a live show where they can get an idea of how their favourite artists really sound.

    6.  Find People Where They Are. Instead of hoping that fans come to you, using social media to promote your music means that you are taking your music to them. You don’t have to worry about whether you are reaching your target market because the word will spread among their peers and reach people who might otherwise not respond to record-company advertising.

    7.  Honest Feedback. A record label will tell you how you could be marketed and what your key demographic might be. They will be interested in maximising their investment. When you promote your music through social media, however, the people listening to it will give you honest and useful feedback to help you shape your sound.

    Social Media & Web has become more important for young artists like Anassa Oneill who appreciates the value of giving her fans a taste of her music. As an independent artist, Anassa chooses to stay true to her roots and produce the music she loves in the way that she wants. She enjoys the freedom that comes with not having to conform.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Book A Summer Holiday

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Book A Summer Holiday

    With schools in the UK just breaking up for the summer holidays, many people still haven’t booked a family holiday. Talks of a double dip recession, job insecurity, rainy weather and uncertainty about the Euro have meant that many families have been left unsure of what to do with their main summer break. But you know you deserve a holiday! So why wait?

    7 Reasons To Book A Summer Holiday

    1.  Don’t tear your hair out at home. Staying at home can feel ok for the first three days of the school holidays. After that, the kids will be running riot around the house, misbehaving and crying out ‘I’m bored’. You will be desperate to escape from the four walls of your home. If only you could escape from your family too…

    2.  It doesn’t have to cost the earth. In these times of economic uncertainty, many people resist booking a holiday until the last minute. The thing is, in uncertain times more than ever, we need a bit of joy in our lives and holidays are even more important. There are plenty of cheap self catering UK cottage holidays still available for this summer and booking last minute means that you can take advantage of great deals, making your holiday even friendlier on the wallet and hopefully giving you some spare cash to splash on meals out and treats for the kids whilst you are away.

    3.  Kids love holidays! Anyone remember being the only kid in the class who hadn’t been away for a summer holiday? Just me then? Give your kids some stories to tell back at school and something to write about in their ‘what I did in the holidays’ diary, you don’t want them going back to school looking like the poor kid who didn’t get to go anywhere.
    On a serious note, holidays are educational for kids, they can learn about new places and experience new things. You might actually enjoy spending time with them. Going on holiday won’t make your kids behave but you can keep your fingers crossed that it might!

    4.  It doesn’t have to be loads of hassle. The thought of packing to go away, airports, queues and seasickness can all make it feel like it is way too much hassle to go away. It doesn’t have to be! Keep it simple, stay in the UK, pack up a few essentials in the boot of the car and off you go. There are plenty of places to look for hassle free holidays in the UK, like Web Cottages. You can take your own food and you won’t have to worry about the inconvenience of finding food that fussy youngsters will like when abroad too. Winner! There are enough things to think about without making life more difficult for you.

    5.  You never know what’s around the corner. It sounds really doom and gloom but you never know what the future may hold. 2013 may mean the end of the world for all we know! If the end of the world or more economic problems, and a whole host of other disasters are potentially just around the corner then we may as well enjoy ourselves now. Book a few days away; if we are all going to die next year at least we can die happy!

    6.  It’s good for your health! Going on holiday is good for you, fact! Well, the right sort of holiday is. Get away from the house, the office and the car and spend some time in the great outdoors. Loose a few pounds by walking in the countryside or along the coastline. You can even treat yourself to a ice cream or portion of fish and chips, it’s about a balanced diet after all! Not only will you return feeling refreshed and relaxed but you will be ready to back to work and endue the rest of the school holidays.

    7.  Make the most of the sunshine! Fingers crossed we may actually get a summer this year! News reports say that the jet stream that has been causing awful wet weather across the UK is set to change so we may actually get some lovely British sunshine. Make the most of it and head to the seaside for a beach holiday. Even if it rains, our good old British spirit will kick in. We are used to rainy beach holidays after all.
    So, get on your marks, get set, go! Make the most of the school holidays this summer.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit The Middle East And Africa Region

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit The Middle East And Africa Region

    As if you need an excuse to pack your bags – yes, throw in the laptop if you must, just in case you find a spare few minutes for working – and jet across to the Middle East and Africa region. But if you do how about sunshine, beaches, culture, history, hell even meetings in Middle East and Africa are tempting when you consider the surroundings!

    7 Reasons To Visit The Middle East And Africa Region

    1.  Full Of Surprises. The Middle East is often featured in the news, and it’s easy to get the wrong impression of these countries. Visit it, however, and you’ll be amazed at what you find, be it the picturesque beauty of the villages of Syria, Tel Aviv’s Jaffa district, the breathtaking Atlas Mountains or the modern architecture in Dubai.

    2.  Sunshine. Relax and enjoy the balmy and often seriously hot weather in this region. After your many meetings in Middle East and Africa, you’ll be ready to hit the beach or explore the desert. Why not try Jumeirah Beach in Dubai or a desert trek in Jordan? Feel the warmth and then decide how active you want to be! There’s a chance you’ll opt for a cool drink and good book as you chill during your leisure time.

    3.  Comfort. As a business traveller to the Middle East and North Africa, comfort will be a concern – maybe you have images of sweaty-backed meetings and clammy handshakes. Well, you’d be wrong, unless you happen to be unnaturally sweaty of course. All the major buildings including Holiday Inn Dubai where you can hold your conferences or business meetings have air conditioning to make sure the temperature indoors is far cooler than it is outside. You can work as though you were at home, although when you glance out of the window you may get a surprise!

    4.  Culture. There is so much to see and do in this part of the world that you’ll be spoilt for choice. Israel is a place rich in history and here you’ll be able to explore ancient sites and enjoy explorative walks. Likewise, Egypt is steeped in history, considered the oldest tourist destination in the world. In contrast, it’s modern fanfare that you get in Dubai, with lavishly constructed contemporary buildings such as the wave-shaped Jumeirah Beach Hotel, although there is also ample Arabic architecture to view – such as the Bastakiya Quarter and the Jumeriah Mosque.

    5.  Nightlife. Cosmopolitan cities in the Middle East and Africa region like Dubai have a buzzing nightlife that includes bars and restaurants, concerts, street parties and nightclubs.

    6.  Adventure. There are fantastic things to do, from diving in the Red Sea to gawping at the pyramids in Egypt. Egypt also offers adventures in the Sahara Desert and Nile cruises for sightseeing in style. Or perhaps an exploration around Atlas Mountains would get your heart racing. Alternatively, there’s the Dune Dinner in Dubai that consists of blasting over sand dunes in buggies, visiting a camel farm, watching a glorious sunset and then tucking into a barbecue dinner – it certainly beats your average UK barbecue of charcoaled bangers, rain and wind with a background view of your neighbour’s ornate flowerpots.

    7.  Gold. Dubai is called the City of Gold for good reason, and if it’s shopping you’re after then this is the city for you. There is more gold and jewellery on offer than you’ll be able to shake a credit card at in Gold Souk or Gold Market, and many of the air conditioned shopping malls are open until midnight so there’s ample time to part with your hard earned cash.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit France For Business Travellers

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit France For Business Travellers

    France is a sophisticated, cultured country that is a must-visit place for any business traveller, especially the sophisticated sorts. Whether you’re passing through for a quick meeting or conference, or plan to spend a few days in Paris getting to know colleagues or attending a trade show, there are numerous reasons to select France for your business matters.

    7 Reasons To Visit France For Business Travellers

    1.  Creativity. France is well known for its innovation and invests heavily in creativity, which in turn inspires individuals. Let your imagine run wild as you talk strategy or chair a few Holiday Inn meetings France, enjoying the benefits of good living standards, highly educated workforce and supportive business venues – and of course the odd drop of red or fizz certainly doesn’t dent one’s creative juices. It’s no wonder that more than 20,000 international firms choose to have a base in France to boost their business.

    2.  Location. Glance at a map and you’ll spot that France is rather centrally situated in Europe, a hop, skip and jump away from other European nations and boasting good links to getting around. Train and motorway links are excellent, as are airports, letting you travel when and where you need to. Plus, there are ample places to stay and things to do within the country, meaning business travellers don’t need to look too hard to find a way to recover from the tedium of the long, drawn out meetings.

    3.  Variety. Regardless of whether èvènements d’entreprise, aka corporate events to the uninitiated, or leisure time are top of your list, France is such as diverse country that you can choose to arrange Holiday Inn meetings France in a bustling city or somewhere far more picturesque in the countryside. Ready for business, finding a venue in this country won’t be a challenge.

    4.  Long Lunches. The perfect combination of work and food is a given when you’re in France on business, with most firms insistent on taking lunch. And we don’t mean munching on a dry sandwich from the inadequate canteen, hunched over your desk, trying to catch up on today’s events or read the notes for your next meeting which you should have read and prepared for weeks ago, while you spill mayonnaise and dribble coffee on your keyboard as you’re in such a hurry to consume the grub. No sir, we mean tottering to a lovely little cafe or restaurant and settling in for a couple of hours – starter, main, dessert, coffee, cheese and, of course, lots of chatter about work and other important matters including which wine to order. Let the creativity flow!

    5.  Relaxed Pace. While you’ll need to dress the part, with a suit and smart attire, punctuality tends to be fairly relaxed in France. So take your time in the morning, let your croissant and tea settle before dashing to your first meeting, knowing that a fairly flexible approach is taken to such matters.

    6.  Time Off. Once your meetings are over and done with, you can relax and decide how best to spend your afternoon, evening or weekend. Depending on whether you’re doing business in Paris or attending èvènements d’entreprise (we’re not telling you twice) in some idyllic location in the south of France, there will be plenty to do. From fine dining to pavement cafes, museums and diverse galleries, jazz clubs, chateaus and breathtaking scenery, France is perfect for the business traveller with a bit of spare time on his hands.

    7.  Language. Now you have an excuse to learn a bit of French, to acquire the language of love – knowing the language, even if it is rudimentary, will stand you in good stead when you meet colleagues at corporate events or attend a conference. Furthermore, it’ll make sightseeing that bit easier if you know how to order “a glass of champagne”, “your finest cake” or arrange your travel details for your next meeting location in France.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Rent Serviced Office Space

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Rent Serviced Office Space

    Has your business outgrown your current office space? Maybe there’s a really weird smell coming from the stock room, or maybe you just need a change of scenery. Whatever the problem, SOS > Search Office Space will find you the perfect office space solution. We were the first ever serviced office brokers in the UK, so you can rest assured that you’re in safe hands.

    7 Reasons To Rent Serviced Office Space
    ©Jason Hawkes – Aerial Photographer

    1.  Cost. Everyone needs to save money these days, especially if you are a start-up company looking to make your mark in the ‘small animal accessories’ sector, or whatever sector it maybe (I use that as an example, but be warned, there is BIG competition out there). By renting serviced office space, you will drastically reduce your overheads, as rental rates and office facilities are covered in your monthly fee.

    2.  Flexibility. Let’s face it, with the recession still looming, and the business market looking rather daunting, companies may need to expand, contract, or fall off the face of the earth at a minutes notice. However, if you rent serviced office space, this is not a problem. Flexible contracts mean you can rent space from as little as one day! Ideal for freelancers who may need an ‘office’ to entertain a client and seal a deal.

    3.  Administration Services. One of the benefits of renting serviced office space means that you have on-site staff to help you with whatever you need – Don’t take that too literally though, you don’t want a harassment case on your hands – but in terms of receptionists, phone answering and mail forwarding – serviced office environments have it all!

    4.  Location. Everyone knows it’s all about location, location, location, and Search Office Space has got the lot! With over 7,000 locations on our continually growing database, we can help you find the right office space solution, no matter what your budget may be. Need an office in Frankfort? We’ve got one! And no I haven’t spelt the German city’s name wrong – Frankfort is in Kentucky, USA!

    5.  Time. Sometimes time constraints mean that you need to move offices FAST. If this is the case, relax! Search Office Space will do all the work for you. We search for locations and organise viewings at a time that suites you. If you need to be within your new business centre by the end of the week, it’s not a problem for us. Our dedicated team of sales consultants will even work outside of office hours to ensure you move on the date you specify. Now that’s dedication!

    6.  Reputation. Yes, you’re right, there are a lot of office space brokers out there, but can they all do this!?

    *Exciting spectacle that you cannot see but is really, really amazing!!!*

    But in all seriousness, Search Office Space has 19 years’ experience in the serviced office industry, which means we really know our stuff! Give us a call and test our knowledge, go on, we dare you!

    7.  Impartiality. You may think that by using Search Office Space’s services you will receive biased advice and be forced to rent an office space owned by a tyrant of a landlord who paid off the brokers just to get the deal. Think again. Search Office Space offers FREE, impartial advice, so that you get the best office space for your needs. We receive commission from the operator – not you. So what are you waiting for?

  • 7 Reasons To Play Croquet With A Flamingo

    7 Reasons To Play Croquet With A Flamingo

    The other day a local magazine popped through the door. We get it every month. Usually it takes the small trip from the door mat to the recycling bin. This time though, for a reason I can’t describe, I felt compelled to flick through. It’s just adverts for businesses really. Hardly the stuff of legend. That is until I got to page twelve. When I was confronted by this:

    7 Reasons To Play Croquet With A Flamingo
    Croquet without flamingos?! What?! How on earth can you play croquet without a flamingo? A flamingo makes croquet what it is. Need proof?

    1.  Alice. The first and obvious reason is that the flamingo itself makes a wonderful mallet – as so beautifully demonstrated by the the girl in Wonderland and the Queen of Hearts.

    Of course, it could be argued that the hedgehogs and the cards help make a game of it, but the real challenge when using a flamingo as a mallet is making it have an erection. Of the neck obviously. What happens after this is really neither here nor there.

    2.  Smug. You may decide however that instead of playing with a flamingo, you want to play with a flamingo. Which, luckily, is something the RSPCA continually turn a blind eye at. The thing about playing against a flamingo is that they are just so damn smug. They’re so casual. They hit their shot then just stand on one leg watching as you line up your stroke. It’s enough to drive you mad. But, conversely, it makes you more determined. More focused. You will play like a legend. Has anyone ever told you they lost at croquet to a flamingo? Exactly.

    3.  Location. The chances of you borrowing a flamingo in the UK are fairly slim. They are nearly all in zoos or security patrolled wetlands. To check this I did call London Zoo and enquired as to whether it would be possible to borrow a flamingo, but upon telling them I intended to play croquet with it they lost any sort of interest I had earlier piqued. All this leads us to assume that we need to find a freelance flamingo. And our best chance of finding one of those is in South America, the Caribbean or the Galapagos Islands. Hardly bad places to go for a game are they?

    4.  Contacts. Flamingoes are one of the more social birds out there. Think Tara Palmer-Tomknison. They seem to know everyone. Usually when you play croquet you’ll end up being partnered with Dennis. He’s a nice guy, don’t misunderstand us. The thing is, he spent most of his life working in a signal box. It means he’s used to his own company. He has a few friends. You know, enough to keep him happy. But if you mentioned that you needed a plasterer he’d just raise his eyebrows and play his next shot. Tell a flamingo though and he’ll know bloody hundreds of them back at the colony. Your ceiling will be done in no time.

    5.  God. Be honest, who would like to play a round of croquet with God? Well, if you play with a flamingo that’s exactly what you’ll be doing. Sort of. Obviously it’s not actually God. It’s a living representation of Him. Sort of. It’s not actually that God. It’s the God, Ra. And Ancient Egyptians believed a flamingo to be the living representation of Him. But that’s still kind of cool isn’t it?

    6.  Pure Class. According to the Official Flamingo Database*, pink plastic flamingoes are popular lawn ornaments in the USA. And, if my trips through the town are anything to go by, Swindon. How utterly tacky. These people need to be shown up for the cheap, nasty, dirty beings that they are. Play croquet with a real life flamingo. Show these fools that there is more to a flamingo than decoration. I feel sick.

    7.  Entertainment. You just know that if you send out a few hundred Flamingo Croquet day invites, at least one person – probably not even the dyslexic one – will turn up dressed as a Flamenco dancer. Oh how you’ll laugh.

    *Yes, it was wikipedia.

  • Russian Roulette Sunday: It’s Cake!

    Russian Roulette Sunday: It’s Cake!

    Hello 7 Reasons readers!  It’s Marc here and today, dear readers, we would like you to make a cake.  This cake.

    It’s Oxfam’s Easy Lime and Ginger Cheesecake, the recipe for which comes from my local Oxfam Bookshop’s brilliant blog .  The recipe calls for the use of  Fairtrade Stem Ginger Cookies and, when you go to your nearest Oxfam shop to buy them, you’ll be giving money to a worthwhile cause.  That’s right readers, by making and eating an ethically sourced cheesecake (unless you buy mascarpone sourced from warmongering cheesemongers) you’ll be helping a good cause in an ethical way.  In fact, if we can all make and eat enough cheesecake, we can probably save the world, and I’ll be trying very hard.  Here’s the achingly simple recipe as published by Oxfam Books, Petergate York:

     

    Easy Lime and Ginger Cheesecake

    • Serves 4
    • Prep time: 15 min
    • Chilling time: 30 min
    • Basically, in 45 minutes you’re in business.

    Ingredients

    • 200g pack of Fairtrade stem ginger cookies, crushed
    • 50g butter, melted
    • 500g mascarpone cheese (they usually come in 250g tubs, so get two of these)
    • 40g icing sugar, sifted
    • Finely grated zest and juice of two limes

    Method

    1.  Mix together the crushed biscuits and melted butter (I also like to add a bit of sugar to my cheesecake bases to make them a bit jazzier) and press into the bottom of an 18cm (7inch) spring-sided or loose-bottomed cake tin.

    2.  Place the mascarpone cheese, icing sugar, lime zest and juice in a bowl and beat together. Spread this mixture over the biscuit base.

    3.  Put it in the fridge and chill for 30 min! That’s really it.

    That’s the entire recipe.  It’s basically spreading cheese on biscuits and it’s so simple that absolutelyanyone should be able to make it.   And now we’re going to demonstrate that even people with no food preparation skills, knowledge or aptitude can follow this recipe.  I’m going to hand you over to my writing partner: A man whose culinary education began and ended with learning how to boil water for tea:  A man who – before he moved to Kent – was known as The Fulham Poisoner: A man whose litany of culinary disasters includes failing at defrosting a chicken and the hospitalisation of a flatmate*.  He’s going to make a cheesecake himself and feed it to his fiancé Claire – a renowned and accomplished maker of cakes – who will judge it on appearance, texture and taste (should she survive).  Here’s Jon.

    “It was only when I was standing in the queue that I realised I had been well and truly duped. The idea of making a cheesecake and then eating it had originally sounded like a good idea, which is why I had agreed. Marc had, after all, said all it required was a spare half hour. In my book, that’s a fair exchange for cake. But as I stood there I realised it had already been twenty-five since I had left home and I hadn’t even purchased the ingredients. There was no way I could make a cheesecake in five minutes. Not there. And then I got to the till. Which is when I realised this idea was also going to cost me money. Just short of £5 in fact. That’s a lot to spend just to have something to write about. I couldn’t help but think if I had managed the past year and a half writing without having to pay for the privilege, why did this have to change? I trudged home.

    Having spread the ingredients in front of me and read the recipe, I realised this was the exact same cheesecake that Claire makes. And she makes it very well. Brilliant. So I’ve had to walk all the way the shops, spend the best part of a fiver on ingredients and now I am challenging my future wife by making one of her specialities. Perturbed, I carried on. Twenty minutes later I was left staring at the following creation:

    Making it was something of a doddle. What was not a doddle was the washing up. I don’t know how often you zest a lime, but cleaning the zesting part of the grater is quite possibly a harder job than watching England play cricket. Still, an hour later I was done. I also had lime poisoning from licking the bowl.

    The next part of this project – and that is very much what it had become – was to get Claire to profer her opinion. These are the results of the Claire survey.

    On Appearance: “That looks nice.”

    On Texture: “It’s nice.”

    On Taste: “That was very nice”.

    So there we have it. I make nice cheesecakes. I am sure your Sunday just got a whole lot better with that news.”

    *Which he denies.**

    **Falsely.

    ***As Oxfam Books, Petergate York would (and actually did) tell you themselves, remember the whole point of this recipe is that it is a Fairtrade recipe.  So help the global community during this Fairtrade Fortnight (and after) by buying Fairtrade goods as much as you can.

    the fairtrade fortnight logo

     

  • 7 Reasons To Plan Your Picnic Carefully

    7 Reasons To Plan Your Picnic Carefully

    Bear Enjoys Picnic1.  Where Are You Going? If you are off to a day of Polo, you probably don’t want to be taking along some of Lidl’s less-than-finest Scotch Eggs. People will look down on you. Even if they are sitting down themselves. And at the other end of the scale, you probably don’t want to be taking along your Selfridges’ Hamper if you’ve managed to get a ticket for Millwall Football Club’s ‘Grand Day Out In Leeds’.

    2.  Do You Have Any Suncream? No? Good. No one is going to mistake it for the mayonnaise then.

    3.  How Much Food Do You Have? This isn’t so much about the number of bags you are taking with you, more the size of the blanket. You don’t want so much food that the only way you can sit down is by playing twister around the sausage rolls. Nor do you want so little food that you wish you’d just brought a flannel instead.

    4.  Do You, Or Anyone You Know, Suffer From Picnic Envy? It’s always a difficult one this, you are happily munching on a pork pie when you suddenly get a whiff of something quite extraordinary. Either than or you spin round and see someone with a better set of cutlery. It’s enough to ruin the atmosphere. And make you play Frisbee a bit closer to those with the Chicken Cordon Bleu than is strictly necessary.

    5.  Have You Checked The Weather Forecast? Even if it says it is going to be sunny and thirty degrees, you can be certain that it will rain. A practical solution, therefore, is to take all-weather food and drink. Melon for instance. And water. Sandwiches are a definite no-no and despite what people say, even the sturdiest of celery sticks can go limp in a thunderstorm.

    6.  Are You Fully Equipped? By this I mean, do you have the bottle opener/corkscrew? The one thing park rangers frown upon is picnickers trying to open a bottle of Cava using irregular practices. Like using the numberplate of their jeep.

    7.  Are You Going Into A Forest? Bears like food. They like people too.

  • 7 Reasons England’s Footballers Should Have An Open-Top Bus Parade

    7 Reasons England’s Footballers Should Have An Open-Top Bus Parade

    England missed the boat yesterday. Thankfully, they are still in time for the bus.

    england_bus_parade

    1. Public Transport. After their performance at this World Cup the players may as well get used to travelling on the bus. Except Stephen Warnock. He didn’t do much wrong. In fact, did anyone see him? Even once? Oh, and if you are worried about David James fare dodging, don’t worry. With Upson and Terry sitting either side of the aisle the ticket inspector will be able to stroll right down the middle.

     

    2. Gears. Travelling on the bus will be a nice reminder to the lads that getting out of first gear doesn’t necessarily mean you have go into reverse.

     

    3. Control. The idea of having an open-top bus is so that people can throw things at the players. I know this sounds quite ridiculous, but hear me out. I am not talking about stones or John Terry’s collection of conquest knickers, I am talking about balls. Keep throwing balls at Rooney and I am absolutely convinced he will regain his touch around Piccadilly Circus. Just in time for Euro2012. Call it a public service.

     

    4. Gerrard-Barry-Lampard-Milner. That’s right. One last look at this midfield line-up before Gerrard goes and sits at the front of the bus. Just behind Rooney.

     

    5. Closing-down. When have you ever seen a bus driver sit back from the car in front? Exactly, never. He gets right up their backside. Or ‘bumper’ as it is more commonly known. Another reminder to the England players that closing down is a decent tactic. Especially if you’d like the ball back.

     

    6. Posizione, Posizione, Posizione. Fabio Capello said after the win against Slovenia that he had found his team. Unfortunately, come 3pm on Sunday, he had carelessly lost them. If we get all the players on a bus and give Capello a map, I reckon he might be able to find them again. Then perhaps he’d like to drive the bus to Oman. And I don’t care if they take the long route.

     

    7. Penalties. We didn’t lose on them! All in all, it was quite a pain free exit. Apart from ten minutes just before half-time we always looked like losing/getting annihilated. There was no biting of finger nails. No sweaty palms. No stomach churning. No hiding behind the sofa. Just acceptance. We were absolutely bloody useless. Well done lads. That’s the way to lose.