Tag: Holiday

Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Go Skiing

For many the very idea of leaving the house during the winter months is a baffling one. The idea of venturing out into even colder conditions of snow and ice may have you diving under your duvet. The idea of strapping two planks of fibreglass to your feet and sliding down a steep slope might raise your pulse to a level that would alarm your doctor. But on the other hand the idea of a ski chalet nestled somewhere in the mountains is an inviting one…here are 7 reasons to go skiing.

1. Fun On Snow-Covered Slopes. To ski you need two things: snow and slopes. The UK isn’t blessed with an enormous amount of either ingredient, so going skiing forces you to travel to at least the North of Scotland – which may well be a world away from what you’re used to – or to the continent – where, thanks to the Alps, you’ll encounter some of the best skiing in the world, excellent hospitality and the hedonistic world of Après Skiing.

2. It’s Easy… Relatively. The basics of controlling the speed and direction of your descent can be learnt in a few hours and with some practice you can begin expressing yourself on the slopes quickly. Skiing doesn’t have a 500-page rule book of required reading before you can begin. Nor does it have ever-changing laws. The objective is to get from the top of a slope to the bottom in one piece, without causing carnage on your way. Simple…well, sort of.

3. One Sport, Many Disciplines. If the idea of careering downhill uncontrollably fills you (and your insurance company), with dread, you can try cross-country skiing. Much like cross-country running, it requires physical effort. There are two techniques: skating and classic. Skating looks and sounds fun, but it’s a little harder to learn. The classic technique is easier to pick up and requires more effort, but once you have mastered it, you’re free to cruise the winter-wonderland at your own pace. Both techniques will challenge you physically, giving a great work-out while you take in nature at her snow-covered best.

4. It’s Not Just Fun, It’s Physical. Winter is more synonymous with hibernation than preparing for a near-vertical drop with two strips of fibreglass strapped to your feet. The cardio-vascular effort is surprisingly large, but coupled with the adrenaline rush; it’s a thrill that has people coming back for more. More vertical; more challenging; more untouched snow. Intermediate and advanced skiers develop their power, balance and co-ordination while skiing some of the most beautiful environments in the world.

5. Look At That View! There are few things in life more breath-taking than a snow-capped mountain range. And what could be more exciting than the idea that you’ll be hurtling down that mountain, at speed, with all the razor-sharp precision of an Olympic skier? With a little practice, one day you might.

6. Snow-Covered Chalets. Ever dreamt of spending a romantic week in one? I know I have and fortunately, every European ski resort has them in abundance. With many websites geared to tailoring your ski chalet breaks, arranging a skiing holiday isn’t difficult. Within the resort you can hire equipment, so all you need to do is pack some mitts and warm socks. Many chalets come equipped with an open fire, a media system and sauna. After a day on the slopes, what better way to relax with your friends, family or partner than in front of a roaring fire?

7. Schnaps! I don’t mean the sugary drink aimed at the ladies, I mean alcohol of at least 40%. On the continent all hard spirits comes under the title Schnaps and is offered as a digestif, a ‘thermal aid’ to cold skiers. Every region boasts its own type of locally made Schnaps served in a distinctive way. Sharing schnaps with strangers is a sign of friendship.

There’s more to it than the cold and the wet. There’s more to it than the 7 reasons I’ve given you. It’s cool and invigorating. Try it and I’m sure you’ll be back for more.

November 10, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In The UK

Forget the Costa del Sol, it’s time to embrace Costa del Brighton. For too long, too many people have ignored the UK as a holiday destination. Why they have done so remains a complete mystery, but it’s time for a change. Here are just seven reasons you should ignore those foreign places and keep it British.

1. Active Pursuits. Our changeable and unreliable weather is the butt of many jokes, but let’s be honest, not everyone wants to lounge around on a beach in 30+ degree heat every day. Especially when you have a German eyeing up your sun lounger. All too often, when you go abroad you just end up sitting on the beach or by the pool in an attempt to keep cool. This is fine if doing nothing is what you had in mind, but if you want to be active and explore your surroundings, this can be quite limiting. There’s only so long you can go on a tour of the hotel reception before it gets a bit same-y. So take a look at a UK holiday; you may be surprised at the wealth of activities on offer. You might not have noticed, but we even have one or two beautiful, award winning beaches of our own.

2. Dizzy Heights. If you are one of the many people who don’t like flying, jetting off on a foreign holiday may very well be your idea of hell. Wherever you are in the UK, you are never far from a superb tourist destination. Coastal cottages in the West Country, in the south or in the Scottish Highlands allow you to get away from the stresses of home life without having to travel for hours upon hours.

3. Greenery. Holidaying in the UK is greener. And we don’t mean just the grass: consider your carbon foot print. It is estimated that the vast number of commercial flights each year are pumping 600 million tonnes of carbon dioxide directly into the atmosphere. By around 2020, air travel is expected to be the single biggest contributor to global warming. Basically, what we’re saying is, if you don’t go on holiday in the UK, you are killing your grandchildren.

4. When Is A Bargain A Rip-Off? You may have noticed that, financially speaking, times are hard in the UK at the moment. Air travel can be expensive but you will also need to take into account the exchange rate. It is no good bagging a bargain abroad if you find that everything is so expensive that you can’t go out. You’ll have to stay in your room and watch Sky News all day.

5. All In The Chalet Together. Holidaying here in the UK and spending your hard earned cash in our towns and cities is good for our economy. In 2010, David Cameron suggested that the UK has been drastically underselling itself as a tourist destination. At a conference in London, Mr Cameron urged more Brits to holiday in the UK, emphasising that tourism is “one of the best and fastest ways of generating the jobs we need so badly in this country”. And, just for the sake of political balance, Ed Miliband has just this week said he had a lovely time in Liverpool – bar the power cuts. So there we go. Agreement across the political spectrum.

6. Familiarity Breeds Content. Familiarity can be an important factor for those wishing to stay in the UK. If you enjoy good old English meat and two veg, an English fry up for breakfast, the occasional fish and chip supper or a battered Mars bar, then you can’t go far wrong here.

7. Sprechen Sie The Lingo. Unless you’re going to Glasgow, there will be no need for a phrase book every time you want to buy something or order in a restaurant. So for something truly British, look at one of the many coastal cottages available throughout the UK at Sykes Cottages.

If you usually holiday abroad but you are considering staying the UK for a change or for one of the reasons above, then you may very well find yourself surprised. The UK has so many stunning destinations. With a little research you should be able to find the perfect place and you may very well end up wondering why you’ve been bothering to go abroad every year.

October 2, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Cruising Is Better Than Flying

Had the Steve Martin/John Candy film been called Trains, Planes, Boats and Automobiles, you get the feeling that it would have been a whole lot better. Oscar winning probably. I mean boats are awesome. Especially cruise liners. They’re like floating cities. Far better than the hovering villages you get in the sky. Yep, cruising is definitely better than flying. And here’s Natasha to tell you why.

Cruises are vacation domains of choice. When you decide to cruise through your holiday, you really mean it. No rush, long lines, cramped seating or foot-in-mouth leg accommodations. To fully appreciate the benefits of a cruise, seven areas of consideration on whether to fly or to cruise on are listed below.

1. Nuts. Your vacation begins with transportation costs in getting to the airport. Final flight fares have many added fees that make the price very expensive, and that’s before your vacation begins. Fees are added by governments for security, by airports and airlines for baggage handling, food, seating preference, paper boarding passes, etc, etc, and so forth. Some airlines may provide you with salty snacks, like pretzels, chips or nuts, but don’t be fooled. It’s a ploy to make you thirsty enough to pay an outrageous $5 for a 12 oz can of soda.

A cruise program is a complete package that starts when you arrive on board; no added handling fees by cruise lines or port authorities for you coming to the ship, especially since the ship cannot come to you.

2. Luggage. The amount of luggage and what you can pack in the bags that you take on an aircraft has become very restricted. Some airlines do not even permit one free bag. Everything either must fit into a small sandwich size plastic bag for carry-on or go into stored baggage.

On a cruise ship you can bring as many suitcases as you want. The only restriction would be to their ability to all fit in your cabin.

3. Legs. Airlines have become creative in how they re-configure the seating arrangements in order to put in more rows of seats. This translates into lose of leg room and cramped seating for you, especially if you are the one stuffed into the middle seat. So, this is not how you planned to spend the start of your holiday? I agree with you…this is a very uncomfortable beginning.

Cramped situations do not exist on cruise ships, neither in your cabin, on deck, or in any of the facilities. In fact, most areas are as large as, or larger, than on-land locations.

4. Unpack, Pack And Repeat. When your flight is complete, and you have collected your bags, you must travel to and register at a hotel. You hope that they have not lost your registration, even though you have a confirmation letter. You get your luggage into your room and unpack. You know that you are going to visit several different locations and this is just the first of numerous unpacking and packing exercises that you will be going through. Light, wrinkle-free clothing was your only choice for moving around. Now you have the hotel costs and restaurant costs to add to funds you have already spent on airfare.

The beauty of a cruise package is that it is all inclusive of your room, meals, and elected entertainment programs. You do not have to do the wallet-reach move when you arrive on board or whenever you get hungry; a cruise is a no guilt and no added food fees experience.

5. Wrong Side Of The Road. You have paid the costs of flying to a vacation location, checked into a hotel, had a meal or two, and now you want to tour the surrounding area. You tried to sign up for a guided tour only to find out they either leave several hours before your vacation mornings start or they rush you through the area with hardly a stop to take pictures or buy a souvenir. This is too hasty for your taste. There is nothing left to do but rent a vehicle and learn to navigate the roads and road signs of another country. You did get a temporary international driver’s license, right?

On a cruise ship it is guaranteed that rental cars will not be a problem as none are needed. If someone does need mobile assistance, personal motor carts and wheelchairs are available. At port stops the cruise lines arrange for tours that again eliminate rental needs. If you do chose to go ashore for personal touring please watch the time so you are back in time to sail. The Captain does not want to leave anyone behind, but the ship has no such emotions. Being left behind would be an added adventure and cost when you need to arrange another way to meet your ship at the next port of call.

6. Tighten Those Purse Strings. After flying to a holiday location, staying at several hotels, purchasing your own meals and arranging your own transportation, you may have to include another cost for entertainment, like going to a theatre, museum, or night club. The wallet-reach move never ends.

Cruise ships have dancing, bingo, comedy, and Vegas style entertainment that does not add any cost to your fun.

7. Move It, Move it. Flight attendants prefer that you stay in your seat. Aisle space is limited and does not encourage socializing.

The crew of a ship will do all they can to get you up and out of a seat to take advantage of all the activities. A cruise is a perfect place to meet and make new friends or to get to know better the people you came with.

With flying, everything is another cost, another detail and another worry that something could go wrong. Sea cruises are beautiful, stress free, wallet friendly experience that you will want to enjoy time and again.

This article was written by Natasha Tasha, on behalf of Flight Centre, Australia, offering great selection of cheap international flights to destinations world wide.

September 25, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit India

Today we welcome to the 7 Reasons sofa James Cave. A man who needs little introduction… if you know him. The chances are though that you probably don’t. So let me tell you about him. He’s a man. And he’s called James. Right, over to him.

A local gets in the way of the archery tournament at Thaipusam Festival

Book cheap flights to India, a land where anything goes. Here are seven weird reasons to inspire your visit:

1. Fortune Favours The Brave. The Thaipusam Festival takes place in temples across Tamil Nadu during the Tamil month of Thai (January/February) on the full moon. It involves devoted Hindus taking extraordinary measures – piercing body parts with alarmingly sharp objects and walking across burning coals in order to be cleansed of past misdeeds. Beating drums, bugles and chanting help to help create a frenzied atmosphere. It’s a hair raising spectacle but not for the faint hearted.

2. A Deadly Dining Experience. The New Lucky Restaurant, Ahmadabad, India. Death might be a part of life but now it’s a part of lunch. This eatery has gained notoriety not only for its cuisine but the 22 cement coffins dotted between the tables and chairs. The milky tea and butter buns are to die for!

3. Toilet Humour Required. We spend a lot of time on the toilet so why not take home some ideas for a new throne by paying a visit to The Sulabh International Toilet Museum in New Delhi. It’s a museum dedicated to the toilet where you can view a rare collection of toilets and other toilet paraphernalia dating from 2,500BC to present day.

4. Ghost Busting – India Style. The Indians are a superstitious lot. But who doesn’t love a good ghost story? To see thousands of real life ghouls cleansed and exorcised by witchdoctors, the ‘bhooton ka mela’ or ‘fair of the ghosts’ is held in the village of Malajpur in Madhya Pradesh in February. It’s an frantic, otherworldly event – the only one of its kind in India. Spooky.

5. Spice Up Your Travels. To prove that the Kama Sutra originated in India, the Khajuraho Monuments in Madya Pradesh makes for an eye opening experience. Explicit erotic art and sexual carvings abound here. What exactly were the creators thinking?

6. Rats Rule. Animal fanatic or a bit strange? Prove your love by paying a visit to this strange place of worship in Deshnoke, Rajastan. The Karni Mata Temple is where rats, yes rats, are worshipped as a tribute to the rat goddess, Karni Mata. Home to some 20,000 rats, they scuttle and scurry across marble floors while people eat, pray and pay their respects.

7. Loose Yourself In The Moment. Infamous trance parties take place on Anjuna beach, Goa between Christmas and New Year when the full moon shines. People watching is a must as such an event attracts the freakish, weird and the wonderful from all corners of the earth. Revellers loose themselves in big beats and psychedelia on this hypnotic night.

Convinced? Flights to India go from most of the world’s major airports. Just a few hours packed into a sardine can and you could be looking at historic porn, losing yourself in a trance party or letting loose at the International Toilet Museum in New Delhi.

August 13, 2011
7 Reasons To Get A Winter Beach Body

It’s the summer, and chances are that, right now, your thoughts are turning to holidays, with all of the indolent ease, languor and sheer carefree bliss that they entail. Unless you’re standing in a branch of WH Smith and gazing at a magazine stand consisting of dozens of covers featuring airbrushed pictures and article titles such as “How To Get The Perfect Summer Beach Body”, in which case you’re probably experiencing something akin to terror. But don’t panic, you don’t need the “perfect summer beach body” for your holiday; in fact, it’s infinitely inferior to the winter beach body. Here are seven reasons why.

1. A Winter Beach Body Is A Safer Option. And safety in the sea is important. When I was a svelte child, learning to swim, one of the things that all of my friends and family spent many hours teaching me to do was float. “It’s simple”, they would say, “you just stretch your arms and legs out and relax”, and then they’d just lie there, on top of the sea. Then it would be my turn: I’d stretch my arms and legs out, relax, and soon I’d find myself floating serenely. To the bottom of the sea. I would sink like a stone every time. But if you have a winter beach body, you’ll be difficult to sink and, should you get into trouble and find yourself floating away from the shore, you’ll be easier to spot from the beach or a helicopter. Your chances of surviving your beach holiday will be manifestly better than those of summer-bodied people.

2. A Winter Beach Body Makes A Statement. Getting a summer beach body is easy, anyone can do it. But getting a winter beach body takes a considerable investment of time and money and requires technology too. You can use it to flaunt your wealth and status. What does your winter beach body say about you? A winter beach body says that you can afford to dine well; a winter beach body says that you’re a car owner; a winter beach body says that you live somewhere modern festooned with lifts and escalators; a winter beach body says that you can afford twice as much suntan oil as anyone else on the beach; a winter beach body says that you might own a Segway. A winter beach body signifies affluence and ease.

3. A Winter Beach Body Is Practical. You might be holidaying in Britain and for that, a winter beach body is the better option. On British beaches, where people consume ice cream to warm themselves up, you’ll at least stand half a chance of not dying of hypothermia or exposure. What’s the last question that any family in the UK asks before they head off to the beach? “Have you remembered to pack the blanket”? In this country, insulation is most important thing that you can take to the beach. Winter beach bodies have more of that, built-in.

4. Getting A Winter Beach Body Is More Fun. You don’t need to starve yourself or drink eight litres of water a day to get a winter beach body. You won’t have to visit a gym either, unless you’re going there to use the horizontal bar (the one with the bottles on it). You won’t have to spend the months leading up to your holiday eating only beetroot during daylight hours (except for every second Tuesday, which is miso soup day) and you’ll never, ever have to eat celery.

5. A Winter Beach Body Requires Less Hair Removal. As the possessor of a winter beach body you’ll be less inclined to wear a bikini made from a shoelace or a pair of budgie smugglers so small that they can barely contain your budgie. This means that there’ll be less hair removal, which is good as hair removal is the most painful experience known to man (and the second most painful known to woman). I would sooner break my fingers with a piano lid than tweeze a nose hair, let alone pluck one from down there, beneath my trousers. A winter beach body means less pain. Or fewer pain, to be correct about it.

6. A Winter Beach Body Frees You From The Beach. With a winter beach body, you might find that you’ll want to spend less time on the beach, away from all of those preening show-offs. This is brilliant, as no one actually likes the beach. It’s uncomfortable, being made of either stones (which hurt) or sand (which chafes). It’s boring, as the number of people busy ignoring it and burying their noses in their books demonstrates and it’s frustrating, as your chips will be stolen by a seagull. If you spend less time on the beach, you’ll have more fun, and you’ll get to eat all of your chips yourself. Unless you’re a man. Your winter beach body will liberate you from the beach.

7. It’s Too Late To Do Anything Else. Having blithely ignored every magazine at the supermarket checkout and every other daytime television programme telling you how to get the perfect summer beach body for the past five months or so, there’s very little time left. This is good, as getting a winter beach body is quick and easy. It won’t be the perfect summer beach body as depicted in magazines (which are only ever perfect in the mind of the beholder, and never in the mind of the owner), but it’ll be your body. Take it to the beach and enjoy yourself, or even better, take it away from the beach and enjoy yourself. Oh, and don’t read magazines.*

*Do, however, read websites.

July 22, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In Bonnie Scotland

Today we welcome back to the 7 Reasons sofa a man who hasn’t plumped up our cushions for quite a while. He’s a man some of you will know as Dr Beat. He’s a man others will know as Percy Jennifer. He’s a man the rest of us know put the ‘best’ into Gillette. That’s right. Ladies and gentleman the waiting is finally over. Back to the sofa, please welcome, Dr Simon Best.

Simon says: It is fast approaching the most popular holidaying month of the year (here in England anyway). Yep, it’s nearly August. Currently there’s a fashion for the ‘staycation’, many people are bored of the Balearics and fed up of Faliraki. For them then, the answer is simple. Go to Scotland. Here are seven reasons you should holiday there, especially if you live in England.

1. It Is Further From France. By sheer accident of geography England is closer to France than Scotland. This is clearly a huge point in Scotland’s favour. Regular readers of 7 reasons will know that the usual occupants of the sofa are no fans of France. One prefers Belgium and the other would prefer an open sewer – however he lives close enough to France that if he fell asleep on the 7 reasons sofa after one too many biscuits and was pushed out to sea he could float there in time for tea, as could most of Kent. This is clearly a danger to be avoided. If you holiday in Scotland you will be further from France.

2. Climate. Now you might raise an eyebrow at this as Scotland is not famed for its glorious weather and high temperatures. When I visited recently I saw sun for about two hours in an entire week, but in when you go on holiday certainty is important. You also need to be efficient in your packing and not take anything you won’t need. The Scottish climate helps no end with this. You can be certain that you won’t need shorts and you will always need a coat or if you wait until September, two coats. It is also always too windy for an umbrella which is a very good thing.

3. Scenery. Scottish scenery is quite simply breathtaking. It has everything you could want in a landscape: coastline, lochs, mountains, rolling lowlands. It is home to some wonderful wildlife: deer, beavers, eagles, wolves, bagpipers, men in kilts. Even in cities beautiful countryside is close at hand – with Arthurs seat in Edinburgh, and Pollock Country Park in Glasgow.

4. Cuisine. Scotland has a reputation as the home of unhealthy food. Chips, deep fried Mars bars, deep fried pizza, deep fried haggis, etc. This, however, is unfair. Firstly they deserve points for culinary innovation. Anyone can do a Heston Blumenthal and make egg and bacon ice cream, but taking a chocolate bar and deciding to fry it coated in a substance commonly used for battering fish requires a rare mind. Secondly, Scotland is also home to some fine produce. Salmon, Loch Fyne oysters, the finest Italian ice cream I’ve tasted outside of Rome. Okay, so you may gain weight, but if you can’t indulge when on holiday then when can you.

5. Money. One of the best things about going abroad on holiday is foreign currency. Getting funny coloured banknotes with odd people on them. It’s a trip highlight in itself. Obviously it does bring with it difficulties. Trying to do conversions in your head and accidentally tipping €50 for example. If you head to Scotland though, you get all the different colours, the different people, the odd foreign symbols, but none of the mathematical problems. Scotland is genius.

6. Midges. Scotland is famed for its midges – especially the West coast where they take over in summer in their millions. They like damp, overcast days, so no wonder they like Scotland in the summer. Visit the West of Scotland in July and you can see a lifetimes worth of midges in under a minute. Midges are horrible, bloodthirsty little creatures – literally. So why am I presenting it as a positive? Well, the main way to protect yourself from getting bitten (aside from walking round inside a net) is to drink lots of whisky and eat lots of marmite. Perfect. If you ever needed an excuse to drink industrial quantities of whisky and eat vast amounts of marmite then holidaying in Scotland is it.

7. Culture. Ever since the Scottish enlightenment (yes, it really did happen and no, it didn’t involve Billy Conolly and Rab C Nesbit), Scottish culture has led the way in Britain. While England was home to the Teletubbies, Scotland gave us the infinitely superior Balamory. When England was producing the Spice Girls, Scotland produced Belle and Sebastian. Look around the world of television, cinema, comedy, music and you see lots of brilliant, talented Scots. And Frankie Boyle.

Scotland also hosts the biggest cultural event anywhere in the United Kingdom: the Edinburgh Festivals (note the plural, there are seven of them). These are a showcase for authors, filmmakers, comedians and musicians. Okay, not all of the performers in Edinburgh are Scottish, but the diversity means that no matter where you’re on holiday from there will be something that reminds you of home. And Frankie Boyle.

July 16, 2011
7 Reasons Being Back At Work Is Great

The maverick tendencies amongst the 7 Reasons team have meant that we are returning to work two days later than the majority. Well, why not? We work weekends too. It dawned on us though that instead of being a bad thing, going back to work is actually awesome. Really, really awesome.

1. Internet. A glorious invention full of all kinds of the weird and wonderful. Mainly on YouTube. And it’s these weird and wonderful things that you just don’t have time to read, watch, play and look at during the holiday. When you are at work though, time is aplenty. And as the saying goes, ‘when at work, everyone is interested in a video of a dancing dustman’.

2. Daydreaming. When you are on holiday, you are always doing something. Even if you are doing nothing you are still doing something. As such it’s not a conducive environment in which to daydream. Work though? Well that is an entirely different situation. When you are doing nothing at work you really are doing nothing. And this is when you start drifting off. What will happen in Eastenders tonight? Could I jump from the top of that building on to the top of that one? I wonder what they are playing on Aada FM at the moment?

3. Ideas. When you are daydreaming you may invent something. Or you might realise something. Or you might decide you need to visit somewhere. Or contact someone. You never have these thoughts when you are on holiday. You never have great ideas when you are on holiday. That would be too convenient. No, you’ll only invent a squirrel powered washing machine when you are stuck at work, unable to do anything about it. Which, when you think about it, is something of a relief. Not just to the squirrel population, but also your partner who quite likes the kitchen in it’s current state.

4. Mindset. Have you noticed we are in our most optimistic and happy moods when at work? Think about it. When you are at work you spend your days looking forward to your next holiday. Yet, when you are on holiday, you spend the days dreading going back to work. Which just proves holidays are twisted individuals.

5. Pressure. Being on holiday is hard. The pressure to actually enjoy your time off is so great that many people crack and spend all their time in bed watching ITV. Deciding what to do with your day takes hours and by the time you have decided it’s too late in the day. So you agree to spend the day relaxing in bed and get up early the next day to do whatever it is you are now too late to do. But when you wake up the next day it is raining. So the whole process starts again. Compiling that report in two hours seems a doddle compared to this.

6. Exaggeration. Your holiday is always so much better when you are back at work than it was when you were actually in the middle of it. When talking to colleagues, that week in a camper-van in a lay-by outside Swansea becomes a walking holiday in the Welsh valleys. Four rainy days in Paris becomes a week in the Parisian sun sampling great wine, food and berets. Two weeks with food poisoning in Egypt becomes a life-changing trip in amongst the pyramids and the camels. Which makes you wonder why people go on holiday in the first place? You may as well stay at work and read the Thomas Cook website.

7. Guilt. If you spend your holiday watching repeats of Friends you feel terribly guilty. Do it at work though and you feel incredibly proud. That’s why work rules.

January 6, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons That Christmas ALWAYS Gets Me in the End

It’s Saturday, and the 7 Reasons team have abandoned the sofa in order to rush, blinking out into the sunlight like pit-ponies escaping from their daily labour. But, fear not, for the sofa is in safe hands. Guest hosting this week is the lovely Liz Gregory – that’s right, her of Things to do in Manchester fame – who despite being from Manchester, isn’t going to prattle on about Coronation Street, she’s going to talk about Christmas. Now settle down, children, and she’ll begin.

Every year it’s the same. I roll my eyes at those poor souls who have done all their present shopping by August; I can tut as cynically as anyone at the Christmas songs repeated on an endless, hideous loop in certain shops from the beginning of November. I am a grown woman with a full time job, and the shameless commercial enterprise that is Christmas has no place in my busy and important lifestyle. But by December, I’m hooked, brimming with festive excitement. Again. Here’s why….

1. The weather. Surely even the most hardened and wizened of souls must admit that nothing looks more enticingly festive than a fresh coating of snow, with the power to wipe out an ugly urban landscape of wheelie bins and cat poo, and replace it with pristine perfection. And I say this despite the fact that I am seemingly the only teacher in the UK not to have received a single snow day in the recent bad weather – I have had to go to work and perform the job for which I am paid EVERY SINGLE DAY.

2. Rosy-cheeked children. No, not the bratty whiny ones running amok in the supermarket trying to grab everything in sight – they are the ones to avoid if you’re trying to be misty-eyed and non-cynical about Christmas. I mean the angelic ones who assemble at Christmas lights switch-ons, warbling traditional festive songs and obligingly going “ooohhh” when the lights are turned on.

3. The Christmas Radio Times. I take enormous comfort in the fact that even though we live in a high-tech, culturally diverse society where we celebrate individuality and cutting-edge modernity, at least fifty percent of the UK will have spent the last week leafing through the Christmas Radio Times, armed with a marker pen, drawing wonky circles around the plethora of bad television they wish to watch this Yuletide. The fact that you will only actually watch three of these programmes is entirely besides the point – the pleasure lies in the selection, not the viewing.

4. Alcohol. One of the overwhelming perks of December is that it becomes socially acceptable to consume alcohol at virtually any time of day without anyone raising their eyebrows and calling you an alky. So that means sherry at elevenses is fine, as is bucks fizz at breakfast and Amaretto Sours at lunch. I do not, of course, live like this at other times of the year.

5. Decorations. Yes, Nigella is annoying, but I do admire the fact that her house (or her studio-masquerading-as-house, one is never quite sure) appears to be permanently bedecked with fairy lights. I am not brave enough to try to convince my husband that this is acceptable all year round, which means I must make the most of the carte blanche that Christmas brings. Turn the big light off, switch the fairy lights on, and hey presto! Your house instantly looks clean and tidy in the murky pixie gloom.

6. Food. I am by nature a most abstemious person, unlikely to over-indulge in any way, but the range of tasty morsels positively flung one’s way at this time of year makes it impossible to refuse. As with the alcohol, it is de rigueur to adjust one’s notions of what acceptably constitutes a balanced meal – as long as you select items from both the savoury AND the sweet party food ranges, you should be absolutely fine.

7. Two weeks off. I enjoy my job, and by anyone’s standards, working in a college in the run up to Christmas must surely be as good a place to be as any. Giant tins of Quality Street lurk at every turn, and teaching English means that the final week offers plenty of chances to watch Wuthering Heights and eat popcorn. And yet, the prospect of two weeks off, spent lolling on the sofa, opening the odd present and reverting to a lifestyle where your mum brings you a cup of tea in bed in the morning, is surely something to be cherished.

So, if anyone fancies a mince pie or three in the semi-gloom of my Nigella kitchen I’ll see you shortly; only visitors bearing sherry will be admitted, mind.

December 11, 2010
7 Reasons That Postcards Should Be More Honest

Postcards. They’re not honest enough. Here are seven reasons why.

1. Blackpool. This is what a holiday in Blackpool actually looks like. I’ve been there. Many times. Other postcards may not show this, but forewarned is forearmed.

2. Bondi Beach. Sending a postcard from Australia, where it’s nice and warm and sunny you’re having a good time is ostentatious and likely to cause the recipient a pang of envy. Negate the envy by showing the reality. That you’re being eaten by a shark. Or a crocodile. Or a spider.

3. Welwyn Garden City. If the postcard isn’t honest, the recipient might get a false impression of a destination and may choose to visit it themselves. This would be a mistake.

4. Slough! You don’t want to get people’s hopes up about what they can expect as a present. Unless you show the iconic local product on your postcard, they might expect all sorts of exotica: A sombrero; a stuffed donkey; a bottle of wine in a wicker basket; an owl. You need to let them know that they aren’t getting any of these things.

5. The Natural History Museum. Or, you can subvert an entire genre of postcards and send this. That should make the recipient nervous until your return.

6. Yorkshire. You don’t want the recipient to feel as if they’re missing out on lots of sunshine, warmth and an exotic climate. Let them know what the weather’s really like where you are.

7. Candour. Ever wondered why the sender always returns from holiday before the postcard? Well wonder no more. It’s because they don’t care enough about you.

November 17, 2010
7 Reasons Rome Clearly Had It In For Me

As an Englishman, when I travel abroad I like to cause as little trouble as possible. Sadly, when I went to Rome, trouble looked for me.

1. Roads. Now, call me a traditionalist, but I like two things from my roads. One: they should be fit for vehicles to manoeuvre up and down, and two: there should be occasional sets of traffic lights where those who have decided to travel upon foot can cross the road safely. While Rome provides both roads and traffic lights, it seems as if someone forgot to tell the drivers to stop when the little green man appears. As a result my holiday was nearly abruptly ended by six cars, two buses, fourteen mopeds and one skater.

2. Maps. I know it sounds like a cliche, but when one sees a free map, they should pick it up. I did just that. And for most of the first day I was able to understand it – we were still in Rome at least. That was until I started walking back to the hotel. The designers, in their Italian wisdom, had decided to mark the main tourist attractions on the map using small, 3D illustrations. And, to be fair to them, they did resemble the real-life draws. Unfortunately, they rarely appeared on the map facing the right direction. Consequently, I spent much of the walk home looking for the steps leading to the Campidoglio on the wrong road. To cut a long story short, we ended up back where we had started an hour earlier and I never held possession of the map again.

3. Wine. It is a well known fact in 7 Reasons circles that I am something of an amateur tea connoisseur. Sadly this is the only liquid based-substance that I have such a relationship with. Wine, for example, is something of an unknown quantity to me. There are three things I know about it. One, it comes in white; two, it comes in red; and, three, it should not be thrown over your girlfriend. Sadly, while Rome offered both white and red varieties, it also offered the opportunity for me to knock a glass over. Which I promptly accepted.

4. Gladiators. They’re an amorous lot. Even the fake ones hanging around the Colosseum, the Roman Forum, the Pantheon. Actually, let’s just call it Rome. They’re everywhere. And they took far too much of a liking to my girlfriend. If they weren’t trying to kiss her they were calling her Princess or offering to slay me. Yes, I know, it’s enough to make one quite nauseous. I mean, it was the type of behaviour I’d expect from the French or Piers Morgan.

5. String Sellers. Standing at the top of the Spanish Steps I was accustomed by two gentlemen, who – without invitation – decided to wrap string around my wrist. I was rather taken with the colours so allowed them to continue. ‘How nice,’ I thought, ‘no one has ever tied my wrists up in England before.’. As the string wound it’s way around my wrist to form a bracelet, I was told to make three wishes. ‘How nice,’ I thought, ‘this chap is certainly more friendly than that genie in a bottle.’. When he had finished, the other nice man decided to open his wallet to show me all the lovely notes inside. Initially I thought I got to choose which denomination of Euro I’d like, but after asking for €20 he became a bit grumpy. For a minute I thought he was asking me for money. Then I realised he actually was. At which point we became embroiled in a bitter stand off. They both wanted money for a bit of string, I wanted the string but not at a price. Sadly this story comes to a hugely anti-climatic end as, instead of letting me enjoy a bit of a fracas with Mussolini and Pinocchio, my girlfriend decided to gallop over and drag me away. At which point Pinocchio got all precious, whipped out his toe-nail clippers and cut the string. In doing so all my wishes were cast aside. Which just goes to show, in Rome you have to pay at least €5 for a yacht, a unlimited supply of tea-bags and a speaking dolphin.

6. Sarah. If I were a woman, and I can’t in all honesty say I have ever considered it as a career option, I suspect Sarah would be a name I would strongly consider. Or at least it would have been had I not been called it dozens upon dozens of times in Rome. On the first night, I assumed I had just done something effeminate with my hair, but, having altered my style every night thereafter, the Sarah-tag just wouldn’t leave. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Then I discovered they were actually saying, ‘Sera’. It means, ‘Evening’. I felt silly.

7. Hotel. I chose our hotel, so, upon arrival, I was somewhat relieved to find that I had indeed booked us into somewhere quite nice. There were no tea and coffee facilities, but on the plus side we did get slippers. The hotel carried on being pleasant until our final night when we suddenly noticed dozens of blue flashing lights creeping through the shutters in our room. Upon moving to the window, we opened the shutters to see the street lined with Police. And looking to our left we saw the start of a protest rally. Half an hour later the rally was holding a noisy, sit-down protest. In the road. Right outside our hotel. Like I say though, we did have slippers.

October 25, 2010