7 Reasons

Tag: Found

  • Russian Roulette Sunday: How You Found Us: Part 2

    Russian Roulette Sunday: How You Found Us: Part 2

    Hello!  It’s Sunday again and here’s part two in an occasional series that takes you behind the scenes of 7 Reasons.  How You Found Us gives you, the reader, a glimpse into something usually only seen by us, the people who know the password, into the ways that this website has been discovered.  This time, we’ve split them into categories.  Seven categories (it felt weird experimenting with the number ten last week).  Enjoy.  And try not to have nightmares.

    1.  Phrases you used to find us that we found flattering:

    funny website

    VIRILE MEN

    good humour

    Epic Moustache

    I lust you

    Extra large penis

    lotharios

    2.  Phrases you used to find us that we found less flattering:

    scary man

    FAIL

    I dont care

    funny faced people

    KNOB END

    you dirty mind

    the scariest mask in the world

    3.  Phrases you used to find us that we’re sorry we couldn’t help with:

    cooking frozen sausages

    What time is Blue Peter on

    where do women urinate from?

    what to do with lemons

    who is the most beautiful naked woman in the world?

    are oranges gay?

    how to wear socks

    4.  Phrases you used to find us that we don’t know anything about and nor do we want to:

    horse sex tube

    The Pope naked

    PIRAHNA PORN

    Margaret Thatcher mask

    sex with house

    Naked Pocahontas

    pictures of socks

    5.  Phrases you used to find us that are just plain wrong:

    Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a foot

    reasons for Piers Morgan

    the queen paints front door

    The Daily Mail

    6.  Phrases you used to find us that there is no earthly explanation for and that we can’t help with:

    pin the sperm on the egg

    naked hunting

    syphilis fruit

    dead squirrels

    mermaid found in Haiti

    7.  Phrases you used to find us that there is no earthly explanation for but that we were able to help with:

    the network is down  (easy one, our website is hosted by Fasthosts)

    Ryan Giggs hiding cupboard (we don’t know why a friend of ours googled this but we do know who she is so we made her one).

    the stylish and functional Ryan Giggs hiding cupboard. Also available in black.7 Reasons will return tomorrow.  With reasons and stuff.

  • Russian Roulette Sunday: 7 Reasons You Found Us

    Russian Roulette Sunday: 7 Reasons You Found Us

    Visitors mean a lot to websites.  Visitors are their oxygen. We are no different. At 7 Reasons we like to breath. And we’re not doing too badly on that account, thanks for asking. In the past seven days thousands of people have popped by, either because they are regular visitors or because they have typed something into Google and 7 Reasons has appeared in the search results. All are welcome. Well, nearly all. We’d be lying if we said 7 Reasons hadn’t opened our eyes to the amount of weirdoes that own a computer. There aren’t many, but there are enough. 50% of whom really need to be recaptured very soon. So, in the last seven days, here are the most random, mind-boggling and disturbing phrases people have searched for. And if you want to know where they turned up, just click on the link. Oddly, I don’t think it was quite what they were looking for because no one left a comment or used the rating system.

    1.  “Meeting Arrive Sweat Enter Room Embarrassing Business” – 7 Reasons To Become An Artist

    2.  “James Martin Chef Nude Picture” – 7 Reasons To Cycle Naked

    3.  “Australian Open 2010 Spectator Excrement” – 7 Reasons To Hate Pigeons

    4.  “MP Moustache Deep Diving” – 7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Wear A Tie

    5.  “Break Wind Sideways Male Female” – 7 Reasons To Be A Bond Villain

    6.  “Penis White Peeling” – 7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Wear A Tie

    7.  “How Many Pasty Shops In Bolton?” – Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Love Bolton

    We don’t know why people searched for any of these things, but as we feel a duty of care towards all of our readers, here is some advice.

    1.  Seek medical help.

    2.  Seek psychiatric help.

    3.  Seek medical help.

    4.  Resign from your job at the brothel, madam.  There are some things that no one should have to do.

    5.  Seek medical help.

    6.  Seek medical help urgently.

    7.  Just go out and count them Brad.

    We take the problems of our readers seriously.  If anyone needs any advice, on anything, feel free to ask us using the comments section.