I have a dream and the promised land is a bath. It's jolly lucky for us all that I'm not Martin Luther King.

Thinking about elbowing someone in bed? Think again.

Judy Murray. Crisps. Airports. Fires. All in a night's work for me.

The Fail Whale: It's the fish of frustration, the harbinger of hindrance, the portent of pique. I'll stop that now, but only if you promise to read this.

    1.  Full Disclosure. All manner of weird and shameful things happen behind curtains:  Line dancing; Nazism; geriatric transvestism; the viewing of ITV; this.  All of those things are probably occurring on your street right now.  If we did away with curtains we’d be forced to behave ourselves, which would be no bad thing. 2.  Changing Rooms. Curtains in the changing rooms of clothes shops are a bad idea.  It’s an oft...