7 Reasons

Tag: christmas

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why It’s Good To Celebrate

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why It’s Good To Celebrate

    We love a good old knees up in the UK – and we do it all year round. From Christmas parties and birthdays to special celebrations and family gatherings, having fun is something we’re good at.

    According to the recently published Infographic The Cost Of Celebrations, from Baines & Ernst, there are four special dates that stick out on the calendar as some of the most popular occasions we love to celebrate – Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Easter and Father’s Day.

    Here are our 7 Reasons why it’s good to celebrate these special occasions…

    1.  Everyone loves getting a card. Whether you’re giving or receiving, cards are pretty great. With just a few words, you can deliver the sentiment with maximum effect. Make someone laugh or shed a happy tear, a card can help you say so much without making a hugely expensive gesture.

    In the UK we send 25 million Valentine’s cards, 30 million Mother’s Day cards and 7 million Father’s Day cards – which just goes to show how popular this tradition is.

    2.  Treats, treats and more treats… Apart from birthdays and Christmas, there are few occasions where you get spoilt rotten… unless you’re hopelessly in love or are a parent; then of course you get showered with gifts! And if you don’t have someone to treat you on Valentine’s or a child to give you a gift, at least you know you’ll be able to gorge on Chocolate at Easter.

    3.  Feel the love! Feeling amorous and totally loved up? Then Valentine’s Day offers the perfect opportunity to show the value of your love. On average, men in the UK spend £97.12 on their other halves, while women spend £91.89. And if you don’t have that ‘special someone’, then you could lavish your pet instead… you wouldn’t be alone, apparently 3% of pet owners give their pets a gift on February 14th.

    4.  Celebrate how fantastic your folks are. Parents are awesome, and what a great way to show how much you appreciate them, then on Mother’s and Father’s Day. Take them out, give them a gift or make them dinner – it’s a nice occasion that you can all share as a family.

    5.  Break the rules when it comes to gifts. Would it surprise you to hear that flowers and neck ties top the poles in the most popular gifts for mums and dads? Break the rules and get creative with your gifts to make them a memorable keepsake they’ll cherish forever.

    6.  Easter – one of the only times it’s acceptable to eat chocolate for breakfast. Over 90 million chocolate eggs are sold in the UK every year – with Easter accounting for 10% of chocolate spending for the whole year! Easter is your licence to eat as much chocolate as you like, but it’s not always a good idea, especially when you consider 1 in 5 kids have made themselves ill by stuffing their little faces… oooops!!

    7.  Celebrations keep our economy ticking. Just like Christmas, all of these occasions help keep our economy ticking over nicely. Valentine’s is worth the most, with £2.4 billion spent on gifts. Mother’s Day is worth £1.5 billion and while Father’s Day doesn’t quite generate as much spending, it’s still worth a cool £1 billion.

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  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons You’ll Put Weight On This Winter

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You’ll Put Weight On This Winter

    As we head into winter, you’re probably dreading the added expense of Christmas and New Year. Our wallets are already stretched to breaking point, with families up and down the land having to make cut-backs here, there and everywhere, so the last thing we need is another visit from Rudolph and co.

    7 Reasons You'll Put Weight On This Winter

    That said, although you may be worrying about whether Santa will survive on the less-than-luxury mince pies you leave him at the foot of your chimney, you should probably be worrying about your waistline too. Why? Because winter is when many of us let ourselves go.

    So, if you don’t want to enter 2013 looking like you do on the back of a dessert spoon, watch what you eat. Otherwise you might find yourself adhering to all seven of these reasons why you’ll put on more weight.

    1.  Cold weather. As winter is the coldest season of the year it’s pretty much a given that people are less active. Gone are the early morning walks with the dog, the sunset jogs around the block and the weekend cycles in the countryside. In comes the staying indoors, the radiators turned up and rubbish on the TV. Out goes the range cookers and the hearty filling food, in comes the takeaways and the microwave meals….

    2.  Wet weather. The winter brings with it wet weather too. If it’s wet you’re less likely to want to walk, cycle or snake-board to work, turning to your car instead. Understandably too. Why turn up to work like a drowned rat, when you can get there in the warm and relative comfort of your own pride and joy? The thing is, though, while it may be convenient, not only will your travel expenses rise, so will the size of your trousers.

    3.  Less light. With the clocks going back the nights get longer. You end up going to work in the dark, and coming home in the dark. As such, many of us start to ‘hibernate’, with our body clocks thinking it’s time to shut down for the evening. “Shall I go to the gym?” you ask yourself. “Nahhhh. I’ll go home to the warm, thanks.” Less daylight and longer nights reduce your desire to keep active, leading to a night in front of the tellybox, rather than the exercise mat. Unless you’re watching Aerobics Oz Style on Sky Sports 2 of course.

    4.  Winter blues. Talk to any sufferer of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and they will tell you the same thing, as soon as the clocks go back their mood suffers horribly. They rue the loss of summer and dread the cold winter months. They get depressed, they get down and they miss the sun. They crave sweet and carb-heavy foods to keep up their energy and spirits. If that sounds familiar, watch the scales go up.

    5.  Seasonal food. Christmas is coming earlier and earlier nowadays. In fact, it was August this year when we first started noticing festive fare on the shelves. Mince pies, Christmas puddings, Twiglets, nuts, selection boxes, advent calendas… you could actually buy them IN AUGUST this year. Surely a new record? If you’re tempted by these offers (£5 for a tub of Celebrations for example), then just think to yourself, “I’m going to get fat!” That should stop you. Unless you say it with pride and conviction, in which case no one can help you.

    6.  Seasonal drink. Now this one is a sore point for many of us. Supermarkets up and down the land know that us Brits love a drink. We do. We can’t get by without the odd glass of wine now and again. But with Christmas coming, it’s fair game. “A bottle of Baileys for £12, when the normal RRP is £20? I’m there!” But so are those pesky little calories. If you don’t want to slam on the festive flab, then try and avoid these festive drink offers. Or use a straw. You’ll probably feel better that way.

    7.  Office treats. No matter how hard you try to stay cheery in the winter months, whether that’s keeping up your exercise routine, going for walks or constructing a stationary tower out of paper clips, you can bet your bottom dollar/pound that your workmates won’t be as committed as you. As a result, before you know it, the office will be inundated with sugary treats to help celebrate…erm… nothing in particular. So, if you don’t want to see your scales creak under the weight of all that office joviality, the trick is to learn to say no. Good luck.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Need Cake In Your Life

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Need Cake In Your Life

    In a world where everyone is so image conscious, too many people keep going on about fruits, vegetables and balanced diets! How boring is that! There are so many reasons to relax every now and then and have the occasional piece of cake in your life. Here are just seven of them!

    7 Reasons Why You Need Cake In Your Life

    1.  Scholars say that learning about history is good for you. Apparently, it helps to provide a sense of identity and improves your judgement and decision making. Did you know that the word cake comes from the Viking word Kaka? This means that cake has a long history! History is good for you, therefore you need cake!

    2.  Endorphins are hormones released by your brain which cause you to have happy feelings. Feelings of pleasure. Endorphins are also natural pain relievers. It has been scientifically proven that desserts like cake cause your brain to release endorphins! Endorphins make you feel happy and ease pain, so this is a very good reason to have more cake in your life.

    3.  Eating cake makes people feel happy. Happy people smile a lot. Smiling is good for you. It has been scientifically proven that a smile can help lower your blood pressure, relieve stress, boost your immune system, make you look younger, make you more attractive and can change your mood by releasing those happy chemicals called endorphins, which make you even more happy! And another thing, smiling is contagious! By having cake in your life, you will not only be helping yourself to be more happy, you will also be passing on your happiness to other people, by causing them to smile back at you! What better reason is there to have more cake in your life than that?

    4.  Cake makes people feel special! Everyone likes to feel special. You can even get personalised cakes made for your friends and family. You can put little messages on cakes. You can get a mini cake or a big cake personalised and sent as a gift to someone special. What better reason can you have for needing cake than to make someone else feel special?

    5.  Did you know that there are 490 calories in a Big Mac and 180 calories in the same amount of cake? You see, cake is better for you than a Big Mac!

    6.  All of the best nutritionists say that it is important to have balance in the diet. They say you should eat five fruits and vegetables a day because they help to keep your weight stable, they are high in fibre and they provide lots of vitamins and minerals which are good for you. Having cake adds the balance! Having some carrot cake or upside down pineapple cake adds to your five a day!

    7.  We have to celebrate the special events in life to give it meaning and to add joy. Birthdays, weddings, christenings, Christmas, Halloween, a promotion, a new job, all of these events and many others require celebration. You can not have a celebration without cake because that would just be boring.

    So the moral to the story is that you need cake in your life!.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Need A Personal Budget

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Need A Personal Budget

    So, what is a budget anyway and why do I need one? A budget isn’t just a piece of paper carried in that big red sandwich box that worried looking bloke waves about every March outside 11 Downing Street. The Budget is the Government’s best estimate of what they will receive in income for the year ahead – taxation, revenue, sale of signed photos etc – and what they intend spending it on – NHS, wars, salaries, new dart board for Dave’s office etc. In the same way, a personal budget will have a forecast of your year’s income and how you intend to spend or save it; this can very easily be done with accounting software now readily available on-line. Like the Government, you can include borrowings in your budget, but unlike them you can’t decide to “print” money to ease your financial troubles – well not legally anyway! Here are 7 reasons for making a personal budget.

    7 Reasons You Need A Personal Budget

    1.  Paying The Rent. Unless you still live with Mum and Dad, housing costs – whether rented or purchased with a mortgage – will probably be your largest regular expense. Unless, that is, you are addicted to chocolate in which case see below. It is a good idea to start with listing your main living expenses including fuel and Council Tax, Sky TV and other essentials so that you can then assess what you have left at your disposal for your other needs or aspirations.

    2.  Chocolate. If you do have a passion for chocolate or indeed any other luxury for that matter, having a budget will show you the areas of expenditure that you can economise on so that you can indulge your passions ad nausea. This advice is given only on the understanding that you are responsible for your own health and that the author cannot be held liable for any complications arising from excessive consumption.

    3.  Holidays. Home or Hawaii? A few people enjoy holidays at home, but if your ambition is to spend six months in California then your budget can help you reserve the cash to achieve it. If you know in advance how much you can spend on tickets and trips you can often pick up a bargain by advanced booking; or you could be in a position to make a spontaneous purchase when you spot a good deal and be confident that you will have the funds to cover it already in your holiday savings pot.

    4.  Food. In the intervals between clubbing and sleeping, most people eat food. This may be dispensed with but that is not a recommended plan for enjoying a longer life. If you are already aware of what you spend on food regularly it is easy to budget. If you are not aware, then you can take a stab at it and adjust the budget after a while to reflect how much you wish to spend and then shop accordingly.

    5.  Work. Unless you are lucky enough to be able to work from home, then you need to budget for travel to and from work, whether for bus or train fares or the cost of running your own car or bike. You may need to reserve funds for buying tools or clothes. Unless you are expert at charity-shop scavenging you could need to spend a bit on looking smart in the office. Especially true for the office-party when you need to impress someone you want to share your pencil with; or even your boss for that matter.

    6.  Christmas Is Coming! For many people Christmas is the time for giving and having a good time; and the rest of the year the time for remorse – especially after the afore mentioned office-party – and for scratching around trying to pay for it! You can set yourself a budget for presents and entertaining and, as long as you stick to that, the only headache you will have in the New Year will be a hangover and not a financial one. No longer will you have to wrap up a box of tissues for Granny’s gift, trying to convince yourself in doing so that it is the thought that counts and that she will forgive you for your spendthrift ways once again.

    7.  Play. You will need to know in advance whether you can afford that season ticket for your favourite team or will instead have to resort to standing on the touchline at the Rec. to get your sports fix. Perhaps you might want to start a new hobby or activity and to plan ahead for equipment purchases or memberships. Your budget will help you make those decisions wisely

    You don’t have to keep your budget in a big red sandwich box, but it will be useful to have it to hand to see how well you are managing your finances and how much you will have left at the end of the year for shoes or chocolate. Accounting software will provide you with an easily accessible reference and a method of budgeting to enable you, and not your bank, to have control of your finances!

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Christmas Should Happen In June

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Christmas Should Happen In June

    We are sure many of you remember with great fondness our attempts at rebranding the 24th December as ‘The Day Of The Sausage’. Sadly – and wrongly – the idea never captured the imagine of the masses. As such we have long been looking for a new festive-based campaign to get behind. And we may have found it in today’s guest post. Over to Sam.

    ***

    I’ve had enough of Christmas in December and reckon it’d be far more fun if it were to occur in June. Here are seven reasons why!

    7 Reasons Why Christmas Should Happen In June

    1.  Christmas Shopping Would Be Fun. I don’t, as a rule, dislike buying my family and friends Christmas gifts. However, I do dislike turning out onto busy, dark, weather-battered streets in search of the perfect pressie. The ensuing festive scrum is just unpleasant. Admittedly moving the event to June wouldn’t lessen the crowds, but I have a theory. Defending oneself from the elements with sweaters, jumpers, coats, scarfs and the rest increases ones size. I, for a while, owned an anorak that was large enough to warrant its own seat on the underground. If Christmas happened in June this wouldn’t be an issue, t-shirts, vest tops, shorts and skirts would give us room to breathe. And it is also worth mentioning it would negate the instant sauna effect every time you enter a store that occurs with our current date arrangement. Imagine the possibilities. It’d be a merry stroll on sunny streets and, when you were done, an ice cream in the park.

    2.  Online Christmas Shopping Would Be Less Fraught With Potential Pitfalls. I’ve not finished with Christmas shopping yet. A counter to point one would be the suggestion that the modern Christmas shopper notices that it’s December 1st and promptly makes a cup of coffee and a cheese toasty, before sitting down at their computer and surfing straight to various gift themed websites. A click here and a click there and your Crimbo shopping is done quicker than you can say, “I am a gift giving god!” And you are – as long as there is no adverse weather forecast. It’s December though, and adverse weather is what December really likes to do. Cue impenetrable blizzards and M5 stranded delivery drivers eating that hamper of chocolates you ordered.

    3.  Santa Would Become A Positive Role Model. Currently Santa is a heart attack waiting to happen. In a world of health awareness holding this fellow aloft as the most important person in a young person’s life alongside Pikachu is surely a bad idea. Christmas in summer would see Santa trim in no time. He’d sweat off those extra 200 pounds he’s carrying in a couple of years, especially having to scoot around the world in half the usual time due to shorter nights.

    4.  Cold Weather Is Rubbish! Having already mentioned the weather in points 1 and 2 does not negate the requirement for an entry on its own merit. Cold weather is miserable. Plus it’s not just the cold; it’s the sideways rain and hip-breaking conditions underfoot. Historically, aside from the Jesus’ birthday deal, it is reckoned the celebration took place in sync with the winter solstice to lift spirits because everyone was miserable due to the short days, crappy weather and that there was little agricultural work to be done. Sensible? Maybe, but sensible never went hand-in-hand with a cracking celebration. Let’s go outside and party like it’s Christmas in June and pushing 100 Fahrenheit. Oh hang on, it is!

    5.  No More Mulled Wine. “Hot wine?! No thanks, you’re mad.” This is the correct response when someone offers you mulled wine, except if it is Christmas when you smile and swallow it down as if hot wine if the norm. It isn’t, but seemingly it is only brought out due to the fact it’s December and we’re all freezing. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather sit outside in June’s summer sun and celebrate my Christmas by reaching in to a bucket of ice for a chilled beer.

    6.  I Wouldn’t Get Combined Birthday And Christmas Presents. I’m not an ungrateful sort, but for the best part of quarter of a century I’ve been the receiver of combined Christmas and birthday presents due to my parents bad planning. Yes, I have an early January birthday. Switching to June would give all those suffering the same fate a taste of two awesome gift receiving occasions that are nicely spaced throughout the year.

    7.  Why Not? Why not indeed? I can’t think of a reason. And as they say, a change is as good as rest. Besides when we switch we’ll be getting two Christmas celebrations within 12 months, how cool is that?! It’ll boost the economy and raise public moral. I know I’ve criticised certain elements of the December-based festivity, but it is the most wonderful time of the year. In fact, are there any negatives to just adding another Christmas in June? If we do that every one’s happy. What could be more Christmas spirited than that?!

    Sam C campaigns by night for the redistribution of national holidays, whilst by day contributing to the e-commerce site, Find Me A Gift.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Christmas Eve Is Better Than Christmas Day

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Christmas Eve Is Better Than Christmas Day

    If you were in the 7 Reasons club this time last year, no doubt you’ll be rushing down to the butchers today to celebrate The Day Of The Sausage. The rest of you, no doubt, will be eagerly awaiting tomorrow. Christmas Day. Arguably the best day of the year. Well, certainly in the top 365 anyway. Here at 7 Reasons we are not adverse to handing out gifts and this year you get yours a day early. It’s a special Christmas post from the undisputed King of Guest Posts, Richard O’Hagan. PS: When he’s not writing rude words in the snow he’s adding to his Memory Blog. Well worth a RSS Feed Subscription.

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Christmas Eve Is Better Than Christmas Day

    1.  Anticipation. One of the best things about Christmas Eve is that it isn’t Christmas Day. Obviously. This means that it is the day when you reach the height of anticipation about the day to come. You can’t do anything more. The shops are shut and Amazon haven’t been able to piece together a next day delivery service for December 25th*, so you just have to kick back, relax and resign yourself to the fact that you can’t do anything to make Christmas any better, so you just have to look forward to the day to come. And you also get to build large toys whilst drunk. No-one who has ever tried to put together a tricycle at five to midnight ever forgets that experience, no matter how much Baileys they’ve downed beforehand (and no matter how hard they try to)

    2.  Food Choice. It’s only Christmas Eve, so you can eat what you damn well like. The mandatory turkey-fest is another day away and all dining options remain open to you. Which means that if you fancy getting a huge takeaway so that you can have the leftovers for breakfast on Christmas morning, you can do. Or you could have sausages.

    3.  TV. For all of the build up that the television companies give to the 25th, Christmas Eve television is infinitely better than Christmas Day’s offering. Aside from anything else, it tends not to be clogged up with octogenarians reading you their Christmas letter and Channel 4 trying far too hard to be trendy, not to mention the tired old sitcoms that weren’t that funny anyway being even less funny as they try to shoehorn a festive storyline into their archaic format.

    4.  Shopping. The shops being closed on Christmas Day isn’t a bad thing in general, but at least on Christmas Eve you can pop to Sainsbury’s if you run out of milk or, heaven forbid, booze.

    5.  Work. Admittedly this doesn’t apply to so many people this year, but over seventy percent of the time Christmas Eve is a work day. It is a great day to go to work for most, because almost nothing gets done, you get to go home early and someone pays you for working the full day. And if you do have to work properly, you get to feel all virtuous and Christmassy anyway because you are the only people working properly, so it is a win-win whichever way you look at it.

    6.  Lie-Ins. Whether you are working or not, you can be sure of one thing – you will get to sleep in longer on Christmas Eve than you will on Christmas Day. If you have small children, they will be up and wanting to open presents practically as soon as the clock passes midnight. If you have older children, you’re probably going to be woken up by your grandchildren instead. If you have no children, your partner will get over-excited and still wake you up early. And if you live alone, don’t worry, there will be a child wailing somewhere long before 7am to rouse you from your slumber. Get all the sleep you can on the 24th, because the 25th is going to hurt. Which is why you should make sure that you don’t run out of booze on the 24th.

    7.  Disappointment. Inevitably, Christmas Day cannot live up to all of the expectations. We build it up to be the perfect day of all days, so something has to go wrong – the turkey taking too long to cook, the neighbours calling in unexpectedly, Santa not bringing you the moon on a stick that you asked for. Christmas Day cannot help but be a disappointment. Christmas Eve never is, because at the end of it a fat bloke is going to give you a load of presents. And nothing is better than free presents, is it?

    *In truth, they’ve not really worked out a delivery service for most of December, preferring the ‘give it to Yodel or City Link and hope the customer forgets ever ordering it’ option. One the things I ordered is presumably still in a locked empty flat where Yodel apparently delivered it a fortnight ago.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons The Holiday Season Sucks

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons The Holiday Season Sucks

    If you’re feeling really festive, we mean really festive, then today’s guest post from Louise Tillotson probably isn’t the kind of thing you wanted to read over your lunch break. On the other hand, though, if you bat for Team Scrooge this is the kind of thing you’ll want to read and share and read and share and read and share… (repeat to fade).

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons The Holiday Season Sucks

    I like Christmas as much as the next person. Provided that person is, in fact, Scrooge. Bah humbug and all that…

    But honestly, I do enjoy the festive period to an extent. The act of going out in the cold, wrapped up warmly, spending my hard-earned savings on things I don’t have to find space for in my already cluttered home is, to me, one of the joys of Christmas.

    When you’re a grown-up, Christmas does kind of lose its appeal. But when you have kids of your own and see it through their eyes, it seems magical all over again.

    Sadly, what those little eyes don’t see are the niggly little annoyances that now seem to ruin the season just that little bit more each year. I’m talking about…

    1.  Christmas Cards. Every year we send flimsy bits of cardboard with awful pictures on them to people we never see or speak to throughout the year. And every year we get flimsy bits of cardboard with awful pictures on them given to us which we then have to display in our homes in case the giver happens to drop by. Which is unlikely seeing as we haven’t seen or spoken to them all year…

    2.  The Weather. Do a Google image search for ‘Christmas’ and you immediately get thousands of pictures containing snow-covered cottages, trees festooned with lights, and jolly-looking snowmen made out of the purest white snow. Now look out of your window. See the grey slush laying forlornly in the gutter, the crumpled lump of grey and yellow matter with a single carrot poking out at an odd angle, the few dimly lit bulbs hanging on for dear life to a wilting bush…Doesn’t the sight just fill your heart with winter joy? No, I didn’t think so.

    3.  Strange Bearded Men. I am of course referring to Santa Claus, Father Christmas or whatever you call him in your family. There’s just something vaguely creepy about taking your beloved little one to sit on the knee of a strange man and confide in him all their secret wishes for the season. Or more realistically; start to cry hysterically, scream for mummy and wet themselves.

    4.  Cold Food. Maybe it was just the way my mother cooked it, but I always think of Christmas dinner as being a lot of cold stuff covered with thick gravy. There’s obviously an art to getting four types of vegetable, three types of potato, turkey and stuffing to the same hot temperature at the same time…and my mother never mastered it. Our turkey dinners always consisted of freezing cold meat, red hot gravy and tepid everything else. Which probably wouldn’t be so bad but the turkey is always far too large and you end up having it with every meal for a week afterwards.

    5.  Mandatory Alcohol. And when I say alcohol I don’t mean the tasty stuff that you’d choose to drink if you were at the pub. I’m talking about stuff like Babycham, the “wine” parents buy when they want to get their offspring amusingly drunk; and Advocaat, which looks like runny custard and smells like it’s been drunk already. And woe betide you if you don’t want to drink – you’ll have a glass of this cheap plonk out of a box and damn well enjoy it!

    6.  Decorations. I don’t mind what people have inside their homes, as I don’t have to look at it. I’m talking about the stuff people decorate the outside of their homes with. As far as I can tell, there are two rules every outside decorator thinks they must obey: the lights must be the brightest you can find, and if they don’t flash and/or cause a hazardous distraction to drivers, you’ve not used enough. For preference, you should also create your own Nativity/Farm/North Pole with brightly lit animal structures too, for that added tackiness.

    7.  Presents. Last but not least, we come to the gifts. Your granny is probably delegated to trot out the old adage “giving is better than receiving” but honestly, I think it’s true. Only by not receiving gifts can we avoid having to pretend to love the hideous pair of socks a lazy uncle has bought you, or the bath salts which you just know will make you smell like the inside of a pensioner’s handbag. There’s only so long you can wear a fake smile and feign delightedness so as not to offend your well-meaning but utterly clueless relatives.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Make Sure You Buy The Right Christmas Present

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Make Sure You Buy The Right Christmas Present

    Some years (Radley) I get it right, some years (B&Q) I get it wrong. Yet I never seem to learn. I still make the same mistakes and I suspect I shall continue to do so until I’ve got rid of all these spirit levels. (I thought they measured gin. They don’t.) Perhaps I can learn something from today’s guest post, though. Because today Leo Parker tells us why buying the correct gift is so important. There’s also a picture of Bill Murray being scared by a pile of coats which quite frankly makes this the most awesome guest post ever.

    ***

    To be honest, Christmas sucks – it’s impossible to buy presents for people and you seldom receive what you really want (jet-pack) so this list of seven reasons to make sure you buy the right Christmas present is, for all intents and purposes, moot from the outset….

    ….so, let’s get started.

    1.  You’ll Feel All Warm Inside. This is patently untrue, but we’re led to believe via movies and such like that we should feel good about getting people the things that they want. But, truth be told, most people (male people) will merely pick up the nearest Christmas gift guide and purchase the first thing they come across regardless of who the recipient is to be. Ergo, you will see a mother unwrapping a remote control hovercraft and a young niece opening a Top Gear DVD come Christmas morning. Result of this – tension filled Christmas lunch.

    2.  Karma. If you buy good gifts at Christmas, you’ll bag yourself some quality karma. Dish out luxury Swiss watches to your friends and family on Christmas Day, for example, and you’ll be lucky for ages afterwards. Or they’ll think you’ve turned to a life of crime and disown you.

    3.  Revenge. Perhaps an odd emotion to go for on the day of Jesus’ birth but, if you think about it, buying a good Christmas present for someone can be the perfect act of revenge. Someone give you a terrible gift last year? Give them a bloody Tag Heuer watch for Christmas! That’ll make them feel guilty. Revenge…..ACCOMPLISHED. No, wait!

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Make Sure You Buy The Right Christmas Present
    Sweet revenge in the form of Tag Heuer Watches

    4.  A Peaceful Life. When buying Christmas gifts for girlfriends, wives, mistresses et al, special dispensation must be made from your normal poor gift buying endeavours if you hold out any hope of a peaceful life. Buy the wrong gift for your girlfriend (after she’s repeatedly told you what she wants, to the point of writing on your phone, computer, iPod and arm) and you are opening yourself up to a world of pain. You won’t hear the end of it and any hope you had of watching Boxing Day’s set of Premiership football fixtures…..well, you can kiss that goodbye.

    5.  Give The Impression Of Normality. It is generally expected of people to find simple tasks easy and what could be easier than buying a gift for someone – especially when you’ve explicit instructions as to what the gift should be? Well, if you want to appear normal, then you should make buying gifts look simple and whether you’re looking for men’s watches or Power Rangers action figure, you’ve no excuse for messing it up. Unless, of course, you leave all of your shopping until Christmas Eve – in which case, welcome to my world.

    6.  Avoid Ghosts. If you plan on living into your later years and have never given good presents, then you’re in for a ghostly surprise a la Ebenezer Scrooge. Give crap presents for decades then don’t be surprised if you’re visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future asking what the deal is.

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Make Sure You Buy The Right Christmas Present
    I think that’s the Ghost of Christmas Future….or Death

    7.  It’s Christmas. What are you doing reading this? You should be out panic buying presents for your loved ones! No matter how difficult it is buying Christmas presents, there’s no excuse for not trying so get online (if you’re lazy) or on the high street (if you’re resilient to cold) and give that debit or credit (are you sure?) card a work out.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons I’m Going To Buy Window Blinds As A Christmas Gift For A Stranger

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons I’m Going To Buy Window Blinds As A Christmas Gift For A Stranger

    If you can remember as far back as March, you may recall Ewan MacDougal advocating the art of building a fortress from furniture. Well, we are pleased to say he’s back. And this time he’s got Christmas on his mind.

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons I'm Going To Buy Window Blinds As A Christmas Gift For A Stranger

    Window blinds as a Christmas gift for a stranger? “Well that’s a little odd!” I’m sure you’re thinking. Window blinds are generally something one buys for themselves. Choosing window blinds is a big task that can change the whole feel of a room. It would be presumptuous for me to think I could choose how someone else’s’ room must look. “Maybe,” I imagine you suggest. “Maybe choosing window blinds for a loved one could work.” And certainly I agree it would make more sense if I told you I was buying window blinds for, say, my Grandmother – whose tastes I’m likely to know well, especially if she had been hinting she wanted window blinds and knew I had worked with a window blinds company for my job. However, Grandma will have to wait, because this Christmas I’m buying window blinds for a (near) stranger.

    It is not that I am a blind fanatic who hopes he can create a little piece of Christmas magic by having blinds delivered to a random strangers’ home. It’s actually far more self serving than that. It has been said on occasion, that I am perhaps at times a little socially awkward. (Shocking I know.) This was proved to me the other day at a party when, whilst trying to make friends with a stranger, I may have accidently given the impression I could be a stalker. I assure you I am not a stalker!

    It’s okay, though, I have a cunning plan, window blinds will save my reputation and potential friendship, and here are seven reasons why.

    1.  Proof That I’m Gainfully Employed. I have a job, like a proper one with an office, day time hours, email address, phone number, a monthly wage, the works. All these very normal things. I’m sure the random stranger I may have seemed like a stalker to, has in mind a stereotypical stalker. I imagine this stereotype of a stalker is quite a weird individual. Who does not get on with people and does not keep regular hours. A stalker fitting this stereotype would probably struggle to get or hold down a regular office job such as mine. Thus by making it known that I have a job I will surely seem less stalker like. How will blinds help? Well one of my clients at the moment just happens to be a leading window blind manufacturer. I’ll be sure to mention the work connection on any gift tag, making my normalness apparent.

    2.  Window Blinds Create Privacy. This reason is surely an obvious one, but in case some didn’t share quite the same train of thought as I did… Stalkers are notorious for staring through the windows of their victims. Watching all their movements, keeping track of every happening in their life. If someone was to use blinds this would become much more challenging. So, unless I was a stalker particularly looking for a challenge, it would be completely counterproductive to give someone blinds. Thus, the stranger I met at this party will only be able to conclude that I am not a stalker.

    3.  Sending Window Blinds Is Actually Less Creepy Than Explaining The Situation. So the ‘sensible’ among you may be thinking, “Surely this mistaken stalker conundrum is all just a miss understanding that could be sorted out by explaining.”. Well.. maybe. However, the only means of contact I have for my possibly alleged victim soon to be friend, is a postal address. This is what got me into the whole mess in the first place. After the party I was calling a taxi for myself, and being the generous non-stalker that I am I called one for her as well (hence having an address) and at the time I joked that now I had her address I could send her a postcard. I’m no comedy genius, but even I can tell that offering to send someone a postcard isn’t a particularly funny joke. In fact, in all honesty, I don’t know if it can be deemed a joke at all. So how could I save myself as being remembered as that guy who tells non-funny jokes? Well, I could only think of one way. Pretend it was never a joke at all and actually send her a postcard.

    So, that’s what I did. The next day I bought a postcard, drew a nice scene of seals on the back (why seals? Why not?), wrote on her address, a return address and a shiny first class stamp and popped it in the post.

    It’s been four days now and still no response.. the more I think about it, sending a hand drawn seal scene to someone you hardly know might be a little weird.. perhaps stalkerish? It was a party, there was drinking. Does she remember I have her address? How will she think I got it? What if she thinks I found it from somewhere else? Is finding home addresses of strangers stalkerish? Yes.

    So, if my fears are founded, and I have been deemed a weird stalker by sending a postcard, is sending another really the best option? Fixing a mistake by doing the exact same thing again, has been proven (I’m thinking the Brand/Ross vs Andrew Sachs thing) to be a bad idea!

    No, the only option is a completely different gesture. Sending window blinds to her home address instead.

    4.  Drawing Another Picture Would Make Things Worse Still. Before I completely ruled out writing to her again, I did consider creating a second drawing. This drawing would be entitled ‘proof I’m not a stalker’ and feature a sketch of the bushes I saw outside her house on Google street view – it would be clear I’m not hiding in them. The picture would also feature a dustbin being raided for food by foxes – and therefore confirm it was not being raided by me looking for whatever it is stalkers steal from bins. Finally, it would include a sketch of the shelf in my bedroom – which currently has books on it and not a creepy shrine dedicated to her. So that’s what I was going to draw.

    However, I do all my drawings from life, and I feel the amount of time I’d have to secretly sit outside her house to capture the bins and bushes really might not help my case. So really we’re back to the window blinds.

    5.  It’s A Good Value Gift With 50% Off Selected Blinds. The window blind shop I’m looking at currently has 50% off most products. I know I shouldn’t be cheap about saving my own reputation, but there’s no harm in looking for good value.

    6.  Christmas Is A Magical Time Of Year. By making the blinds a Christmas gift the recipient will get them at the most magical time of year. It’s surely much harder to be mad at someone and worry that they might be a stalker when you’re filled with Christmas cheer. Plus, Christmas is a time when you have lots of guests. So what better time to spruce up your living room with some new blinds?! She’ll only be able to think good things about me after this Christmas gift.

    7.  A Personal Gift Will Say I’m Thoughtful Not Creepy. Blinds are a really personal gift, which takes a lot of effort to give. Think about it, I’m going to have to break into her house to measure the windows to make sure the blinds fit. Then I’m going to have to go through all of her stuff to get familiar with her tastes and make sure I choose blinds she’ll really like. Roller blinds or Venetian blinds? I’m going to have to track down the homes of all her friends and family to make sure none of them have blinds that look too similar. It’s really going to be a lot of hard work to make sure the gift is perfect. How could she possibly be mad or scared by me once she knows how much work I’ve gone to in order to get her this perfect and special Christmas gift? I mean, if someone broke into my house, rummaged through all my things, started snooping around the homes of all my friends and family, I know that I’d feel… uh… oh wait… maybe not then.