Time: A wholly abstract concept that's often difficult to grasp. Zones: Places that are separated by imaginary lines that you can't see. Combining time and zones: Utter bewilderment and blank incomprehension. Here are seven reasons why.

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1.  Language. A successful French invasion would result in the British speaking French. That’s not happening. The British have about as much interest in learning French as they do in my trousers. They are also incapable of learning something so… well… pointless. (The British I mean, not my trousers. Though, come to think of it, my trousers are fairly incapable in that department too). The fact is, we Brits just wouldn’t...

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