7 Reasons

Tag: Better

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Androids Are Better Than iPhones

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Androids Are Better Than iPhones

    We’ve had doors and hairy chests and alien invasions, so what next from 7 Reasons groupie Sam Murray? Well, quite obviously, it’s post about smartphones. So, if you’re thinking of upgrading your handset soon, here’s Sam with some invaluable information. (Just remember to ignore all he says and buy an iPhone).

    7 Reasons Androids Are Better Than iPhones

    Long gone are the days where playground bullies proclaim, “my dad is harder than your dad”, the latest insult is more likely to be, “my phone is better than yours”. And if that phone happens to be an android, then I am in their gang and will wedgie anyone that says otherwise.

    I could give more than seven reasons why androids are better than iPhones but after discovering the site ’33 Reasons’ doesn’t exist I have come back to share my top seven.

    1.  Battery Life. iDrain is a more apt description of most iPhones, especially the 3GS or earlier models (as the iPhone 4 has improved) For a phone whose star attraction is the ability to download applications it is a shame that you play and surf at your peril. It is the equivalent of being given the keys to a new Ferrari only to find out the faster you go the less time you will have.

    2.  Browsing. Although I do like a Safari, the grass might be greener on the other side of the electric fence. Yes the Safari browser on the iPhone is fast and reliable, but flexible? No. It still doesn’t have the ability to operate with Flash which automatically restricts users viewing certain websites. No not those kinds of websites. On the other hand, the Android has a range of browsers which you can choose from ranging from; Dolphin, Opera Mini, Skyfire, Fennec and the default Browser. Everyone loves options and that is the beauty of Android: You have options which all have fast page-load speeds, extensive features, and video support.

    3.  Open 24-7 – Wider Choice Of Apps. Yes that’s right. 24-7, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, and without the baggage of paying overtime. The Android is open source so developers all over the world have the ability to tap into the API and create new applications or improve current apps. This freedom sparks ideas and innovations which can help push the Android community forward. It reminds me of the Kurt Russell film ‘Escape from L.A’ where people are left to fend for themselves but hey, Kurt came out of it ok so its fine by me.

    4.  Wide Range of Choices. I may come across as an anti-iPhone protester so it may surprise you to know that I have one, and I really like it. However, I like “it”, not “them”, or “they”, or any other plural reference as another sad face on the iPhone chalk board is the fact that there is only one phone. This is the 21st Century; choices are imperative. What happens if you want your handset to come with a QWERTY keyboard? Or if you want a slightly larger screen on your phone? I have to decide what type of sauce I want on my sandwich, I expect the same type of problem when deciding on my handset.

    5. Notification – “Excuse Me Sir, You Have A Visitor”. You don’t want to keep opening the front door of your home to check if you have a visitor. That is why we have invented door bells and knockers so why should that be the case on your phone? On the iPhone there is a very limited notification system which means if you want to check if you have a Twitter message or a Facebook comment you have to open the app to find out. However, the Android has a notification bar which alerts users to new voice messages, email messages, Twitter and Facebook notifications, new Gmail messages and plenty more. If an app has a notification, it can let you know quickly, and in the background.

    6.  Synching with iTunes. The amount of tears that has been the result of wiping music and contacts from your phone after an unsuccessful and stressful synch could fill the Thames. This issue stems from needing to use iTunes to synch your phone whereas with an Android this is not the case. In addition, at times with the iPhone you can sync it with only a limited number of computers. Android phones do not need any such application and you can simply connect the phone into any computer and gain access to pictures, contacts, videos and music.

    7.  If you can’t beat them, join them… If these six reasons weren’t enough to persuade you then maybe this seventh will: Charlie Sheen has an android. #WINNING

    This article was written in association with My Phone Deals who provide a wide range of iPhone, Blackberries and Android phones for 2011. They have everything from the latest phone releases to classic and reliable Nokia’s.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Boys Are Better Than Girls

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Boys Are Better Than Girls

    Just over a year ago you may remember Natalie Clifford gave us 7 Reasons Why Women Are Better Than Men. And, for a year, we have let the fairer sex have their moment. Mainly because no one dared argue differently. That is until one man decided to step forward. That man is brave. That man is the writer of The Memory Blog. That man is Richard O’Hagan. Today Richard sits on the edge of the 7 Reasons sofa – in an undisclosed location – ready to readdress the balance. Here, in his words, are seven reasons boys are better than girls.

    7 Reasons Boys Are Better Than GirlsThe idea for this post came to me one Sunday evening. I was stood there doing the ironing and utterly failing to come up with any ideas for my own website when the sight of my wife preparing my dinner* made me think, “Being a boy is so much better than being a girl.”**

    And then I thought, “I wonder if those nice chaps at 7 Reasons would be interested in a guest post which might actually increase their site traffic, even if all of the new hits are from angry feminazis?”

    So here you have it – 7 Reasons Why Boys Are Better Than Girls, and one which hopefully avoids all the tired old suggestions such as ‘being able to pee standing up’*** and ‘not leaking like a BP oil well once a month’.

    1.  Self-Awareness. Boys are simply more self aware than girls are. Boys know that once they have got out of bed in the morning, that is pretty much as good as they are going to look for the rest of the day. A quick wash and brush up, maybe a shave (according to personal and religious preferences) and that is it. We don’t spend time applying many different layers of make-up, or agonising over what to wear that day, because we know we’d only be trying to fool ourselves. And this then leads to…

    2.  Lower Expectations. Everyone knows I am going to show up to any given event looking like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards. I’ve been perfecting the look for years and I know that there is as much point trying to get me to look smart as there is in giving Pompeii a quick dusting. If you don’t spend your life trying to look as if you have just strolled in off the pages of a fashion magazine then no-one expects you to look like that.

    3.  Less Gullible. Let us not beat around the bush here. Boys are less gullible than girls. No-one has ever convinced us that nylon – a material which unravels as soon as you look at it – is a suitable covering for our legs. No-one has ever convinced us that we need to chuck out a quarter of our clothing every three months because “that’s so last spring/summer/autum/winter”. And no-one has ever convinced us to wear beige simply by renaming it ‘taupe’****.

    4.  Cats. The phrase is ‘Crazy Cat Lady’. No-one ever said ‘Crazy Cat Man’ (well, not without being so stoned that they think it is still the 1960s) and no man has ever been found dead and alone in a feline infested flat, with the moggies feasting upon his decaying flesh. Being a girl means developing a strange attracting to furry four-legged gits.

    5.  Shoes. Boys wear sensible shoes. Shoes you can run in (see reason 7). Shoes you can walk in. Shoes which are comfortable. Girls, on the other hand, think that shoes mean some towering edifice which makes perambulation almost impossible and painful toes a part of daily life. Moreover, being a girl means that you feel the need to spend roughly the Gross National Product of Namibia on acquiring more uncomfortable shoes than you could ever need even if you lived for six lifetimes. Boys have one pair of shoes, wear them until they wear out, then buy another pair; Girls have eleventy million pairs of shoes, wear some of them, then chuck them out and start all over again twelve months later (see reason three)*****.

    6.  Driving. Cars were simply not designed for girls. This is no slight upon the perceived lack of driving ability among females, it is a fact. The basic design of the car began with the male physique in mind and hasn’t altered. Girls have proportionately longer legs and shorter bodies than boys. If cars were designed for them they would have deeper footwells, lower dashboards and no doubt many other female-friendly alterations (a lipstick holder or something). No car has yet been made like this, not even the Mazda MX-5, a car no male with a molecule of testosterone in his body would be seen dead driving.

    7.  Running. Running makes boys look manly, as if they are hunting down prey or chasing a foe. When girls run they always look like they are attempting to do a very fast Charleston whilst simultaneously going in the opposite direction. Something which I shall now demonstrate by running away from this angry horde of feminazis******.

    *She was not cooking because I am some kind of raving sexist monster, she was cooking because the local crematorium cannot keep pace with the after-effects if I cook.

    **This was after the umpteenth interruption to reach down something from the middle shelf of our kitchen cupboards, a task I perform willingly but whilst wondering what the use of a kitchen cupboard is if 50% of the users cannot reach beyond the salt and pepper storage level*******

    ***I once heard the occasionally-funny Sandi Toksvig claim that women didn’t regard this as an essential skill. Try telling that to the female attendees at any large outdoor event.

    ****Moreover, the invention of ‘taupe’ had a detrimental effect upon the men of the world, as by the million they were denied Bouncy Bedroom Fun by their female partners after exclaiming “Taupe? Looks like beige to me, love”

    *****For the avoidance of doubt, my wife is not a typical girl. At least in this respect.

    ******There is no reason for this set of asterisks. In addition to alienating 51% of the world’s population, I wanted to break the ‘most asterisks in a post’ record

    *******There are other things as well as salt and pepper on that level, obviously. Or will be, right up to the point where my wife reads this and throws them at me

  • 7 Reasons Life Would Be So Much Better In Black & White

    7 Reasons Life Would Be So Much Better In Black & White

    This post needs no introduction, but I’ll give it one anyway. Colour is rubbish. Right, on with the reasoning.

    1.  Colour Blindness. Suffering from the disability myself, I know that a world without colour would make things much easier. Especially when it comes to my work as a designer. Never again would a client phone me up and ask why I have decided to turn their red logo a shade of dark green. I then wouldn’t have to apologise and spend hours redoing the poxy thing. Nor would I get a subsequent phone call from the client advising me that they are terminating the contract because I obviously thought it would be funny to send it back brown.

    2.  Dull Games More Exciting. There was a time that I used to like snooker. I was at school and it proved a more enthralling than doing my homework. These days though I have found my entertainment elsewhere. I like to prod myself in the eye with chopsticks for example. If snooker went back to the good old days when it was played in black and white though, I can imagine being positively horny about the prospect. What colour has he hit?

    3.  Wardrobe. The reason I have such questionable dress sense is because I just have so many colours to choose from. That’s my excuse anyway. If everything was black or white though I couldn’t possibly go wrong. I could wear black with white. Or black with black. Or white with white. Or, if I was feeling adventurous, I could replicate a pack of dominoes.

    4.  Embarrassing Clothes. Talking about dress sense, why is there always someone who turns up to the wedding looking like a twat? Either they are wearing pick shoes or a turtle-shell patterned blazer.Black and white would eradicate this problem immediately. And you wouldn’t need to store your photo album in the loft.

    5.  Sunburn. Another disability I suffer with, the inability to put enough suncream on regularly. Because of this I often find myself getting burnt. Mostly on the face and neck, but I have been known to get burnt somewhere near Maidstone before too. While a black and white world wouldn’t lessen the physically pain, it would certainly reduce the mental anguish. I’d probably have something of a grayscale face which would enable me to blend nicely into an urban world of roads, pavements and lampposts.

    6.  Cheaper. The reason living is so expensive is due in no small part to likes of cyan, magenta and yellow. Get rid of them I say. Let’s just have black with nothing filling in where one wants white. We’d save a fortune and

    7.  Decision Making. In a world that is black and white it would only make sense that there are no blured issues. We would automatically know right from wrong. We would know that tea is right. We would know that Janet Street-Porter is wrong. Life would just be so much simpler.

     

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Women Are Better Than Men

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Women Are Better Than Men

    A few weeks ago we had Emily Clifford on our sofa showing us how it is done. Her post on reasons why men and women shouldn’t converse proved very popular – with women. Because we like women we thought we’d invite Emily back. Unfortunately she has gone AWOL in the Blue Mountains this weekend. Before she went though, she left a note for us under one of the sofa cushions. Jon’s side. It said if we wanted to continue the theme of making women feel superior to men we should speak to her sister. Well one thing led to another and before we knew where we were we found Natalie Clifford clawing at the sofa. We’ve allowed her to stay for the day in exchange for a hugely popular post about the brilliance of man. This is her effort. Oh dear.

    1.  Looks. It’s not my job to say who designed man and woman, but whoever it was clearly had a deadline and spent 97% of their time on the female body. And they have done a pretty good job with it. As for the man, well it looks as if they had a few left over bits and just cobbled it together. That penis thing. I don’t get how it could have gone so wrong.

    2.  Communication. Women are good at this as they can put words together to form sentences. Men are useless. Their favourite word is, “nothing”. As in, “What are you thinking about?”

    3.  Leaders. Men may like to think they are the head of the family but if they were why do they have to ask the woman to do something?

    4.  Multi-tasking. Men think multi-tasking is watching the football, drinking beer and looking after the remote control. In fact it is doing the ironing while cooking the dinner while helping son number one with his homework while telling son number two off for pulling daughter number one’s hair while she was asking mother if she could have a friend to play.

    5.  Better friends. When a man starts dating a woman, whose friends do they hang out with more? Yes, the woman’s. And when they get married, whose friends do they stay in contact with? Yes, the woman’s. Half the time a man’s friends don’t even know he has got married. They just think he went to the pub toilet five years ago and didn’t come back.

    6.  Memory. A woman can remember things like dates. And phone numbers. And names. And ages. And what school the children go to. And what the children’s names are. Men can’t even remember whether they wear glasses or not.

    7.  Vision. I am not sure what it is about men and their inability to see dust. I don’t adhere to the belief that they just can’t be bothered to clean, I honestly believe they are blind to dirt. Unless it’s on their shirt. In which case they give it to the woman to clean.

  • 7 Reasons Asterix Is Better Than Tintin

    7 Reasons Asterix Is Better Than Tintin

    1.  The Hair. Yes, so it is mustardy bordering on bright yellow, but at least when Asterix removes his helmet it reveals an uncontrollable mess. It doesn’t seem seem to matter what time of the day it is or where Tintin has been, he always has a Cameron Diaz hairstyle. There is just no product on the market that can hold a style for that long.

    2.  Travel. Asterix actually goes to real places. Britain and Corsica and Spain and Belgium. Tintin visits Syldavia and San Theodoros and El Chapo. Given the age-range these comic books are aimed at, I would say Tintin books are highly irresponsible. How many Geography exams have been failed because some little Herbert has labelled São Paulo as São Rica?

    3.  Commitment. Asterix has one job. Beat up Roman Legions. And he sticks to it. Daily. He always returns home for dinner too. Tintin, on the other hand, is a liability. He is a journalist who never produces a single story for his employers. Far too occupied with solving mysteries than reporting the facts as all good journalists should do. A particularly poor role model.

    4.  Obelix. Not only does Asterix have to deal with Roman Legions, he also has to look after Obelix. A man who spends most of his time looking for wild boar instead of remaining focused on the job in hand. I don’t think it should be underestimated just how much hard work goes into looking after someone who deliberately seeks out wild boar.

    5.  The Dogs. Dogmatix is a proper, realistic dog. One who bites people on the backside and won’t let go. Then there is the fact that you, quite rightly, can’t see what the hell he is thinking. You shouldn’t be able to see what a dog is thinking. It goes against all logic to do so. So why can you see what Snowy is thinking? And why has the smug terrier always got the answers four pages before Tintin and five before the reader?

    6.  Humour. Asterix is much funnier. He basically puns his way through the adventures and takes a swig of magic potion every eight pages. Tintin is far too serious. He doesn’t drink and he doesn’t laugh. In truth, he is quite boring.

    7.  Default. Asterix in Britain beautifully captures the great things about this country. Rugby, cricket, English gardens and roast lamb with mint sauce. Not a mention of football or Kerry Katona anywhere. Tintin pops over to Britain in The Black Island. In the third edition of the book – published in 1966 – the names of the Police Officers are changed from Edwards, Johnson, Wright and O’Rally to McGregor, Stewart, Robertson and Macleod. Political correctness gone mad.