Author: 7 Reasons

Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Shop For Car Insurance

Auto insurance is not typically a product people buy for enjoyment. But since it is required in 49 of the 50 states, drivers have to buy it and driving without insurance can lead to financial ruin. Well, at least it is more fun than paying taxes.

With that out of the way, here are our top seven reasons to shop for car insurance:

1. Because The Cavemen Told You To. If you spend any time watching television, listening to the radio, or been online, you have likely been inundated by insurance ads. There are quirky women, presidential-like men, bald, aging men, geckos, and cavemen all pitching you insurance. Car insurance companies spend billions of dollars a year on advertising. Don’t just go with the big companies. Smaller to medium sized insurers that don’t advertise may be able to offer you a better combination of price and coverage.

2. Because You Like Overpaying. Comparing rates between companies is key. Sure, it is easy to stay with your same company and just pay their new bill but if you have not shopped for insurance in the past 6 months, you are likely overpaying. Rates change frequently and can vary significantly by company. But don’t compromise on coverage.

3. Because Your Insurance Needs Never Change. When you drive, you put yourself at financial risk. If you are at fault in an accident, you could be personally responsible for all financial damages caused to others. You want to make sure you have the protection necessary to cover the value of your home and other financial assets. Make sure you deal with A.M. Best Rated insurers for maximum protection.

4. Because You Hate Discounts. Many insurance companies offer a wide range of discounts for customers. However, don’t think you are getting a better deal just because a company offers you a lot of “discounts”. Take the time to shop around and see whose “discounts” are best.

5. Because You Got Out Of Dodge. When you move, it is highly likely your insurance rates will change. Certain neighborhoods are statistically more risk for insurance companies than others in terms of the volume of claims. Rates can change significantly when you move to a new state so investigate this in advance. Moving is a good opportunity to shop for the best rate for your new location.

6. Because Your Car Is A Piece Of Junk. If your car is a piece of junk, you still need insurance but you may no longer need collision or comprehensive coverage to protect the vehicle. You will still need liability coverage at minimum and in some states, personal injury protection and uinsured/uninderinsured motorist coverage may also be required. But, if your car is a real piece of junk, you need a new car and will need new insurance to protect it.

7. Because It’s Fun. Auto insurance shopping is no party but it is fun to save hundreds of dollars on your rates. Take the time to comparison shop. It could go a long way towards paying for your next party.

January 15, 2012
7 Reasons The UK Should Be 100% Renewable

I’m going to put my neck on the line and say that, one day, the UK will become 100% reliable on renewable energy sources. It probably won’t happen tomorrow. Or indeed by next Tuesday. But I would like to think it will happen in our lifetimes. And, you know what, we should all be encouraging it. Because it would be great. Here’s why:

1. Expressions. Are you bored with hearing the same, tired expressions when you ask someone what the weather is like? “It’s chucking it down,” they say. Or, “It’s bloody windy!”. No, you’re probably not. But that’s because you see the weather only as something that influences what you are going to wear. When the UK becomes 100% renewable, this view will change. The weather, be it sun, wind or rain, will provide all our energy. And with something so serious, come serious expressions. Gone are the uncouth observations. In comes, “The energy is wonderfully blustery today”, “We’re being bathed in glorious energy” and “It’s that annoying energy that gets you wet.” We’ll sound like something from an undiscovered Jane Austen novel. I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to it.

2. Defence. How you ever asked yourself, “Why doesn’t Margate get invaded more often?” Given its classic Arnold Palmer mini-golf course you’d have thought it would be a prime target. If you don’t have the answer, don’t feel ashamed. It took me a while to realise it too. Just off the coast of Kent is the world’s biggest off-shore wind farm. Yes, a farm of wind turbines. That’s why no one is invading. They’ll get chopped to bits in the propellers. When the UK is 100% renewable we’ll have these wind farms all over our coastline. We’ll be impregnable!

3. Barons. I don’t know any personally, so for purposes of this reason I shall invent a Middle-Eastern oil baron called Sheikhin Stevens. Now Sheikhin has a lot of oil that the UK currently buys off him so we can feed cars petrol. (And other stuff.) He’s a bit greedy is Sheikhin and so he charges us a lot. The good news is that he’ll soon be surplus to requirements. Because soon the UK will have their own barons. Biomas barons. And solar barons. People that produce their own renewable energy and sell it to renewable energy companies. Like St. Aldhelms Chruch in North London do by selling their solar energy to Good Energy. Who then pass it onto us and make a better planet.

4. Go Wild. Perhaps the best thing about renewable sources is that they never run out. At least we hope they don’t. And if they do we all die anyway so what’s the point in worrying about it? Assumption has it that sun, wind and rain will always be around. (Like a really good Earth, Wind and Fire tribute group I suppose.) The fact that it can’t run out means we can all do the things we want to do, but, in this day of fossil fuel reliability, are afraid to start. So, we can put the heating on at 2pm if we want. We can re-boil the kettle even though we did it thirty-seconds ago. We can leave all our lights on when we go on holiday. It’ll still cost us, but assuming that hurricane is still on the way we don’t have anything else to worry about.

5. Aesthetics. It’s a little known fact that gargoyles are simply statues that have been attacked by acid rain. I mean, would anyone really attach a granite troll to their house? Of course not, it was a mermaid before the rain got to it. Now, acid rain – as I am sure you’re aware – is a product of water droplets mixing with sulphur dioxide and nitrous oxide. Products that are released when fossil fuels burn. No fossil fuels means no pollutants. No pollutants means no acid rain. No acid rain means nice statues of dolphins and kittens and Michael Jackson.

6. Industry. If you’re anything like me, you won’t remember the 1950s on account of the fact that you weren’t born. The UK was great back then though. That’s what Wikipedia says anyway. Our car industry was particularly strong. So strong in fact that we were the second biggest car manufacturer in the world. Now look at us. Bentley, Jaguar and Rolls-Royce are all owned by foreign fingers, we’re outside the top ten in terms of manufacturing and we actually consider a Skoda to be a viable form of transport. But there is a solar-powered torch light at the end of the tunnel. You see, no one has quite got to grips with inventing the car that runs solely on renewable energy sources. People have tried and either it looks like something from Minority Report or something only Susan Boyle should drive. So this is the UK’s big opportunity. When we go 100% renewable we’ll need renewable cars. So let’s be the biggest manufacturer of environmentally friendly cars in the world. And then let’s sell it all to BMW for loads of money and invade France. Something like that anyway.

7. Cows. I don’t know about you, but I think cows are a bit boring. Once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen the lot. A bit like an episode of Friends really. But cows do have their uses. Milk for instance. And methane. Only methane isn’t a good use. Some scientists, somewhere, have established that methane from cows account for 3% of the UK’s greenhouse gas emissions. It’s not a great amount, but with the UK being 100% renewable we should really find a use for this fuel. And, as luck would have it, the Argentinians have already worked out of way of harnessing methane and using it for stuff like cooking. And they do it by strapping a plastic box to a cow’s back and shoving a tube… somewhere. Suddenly the countryside has got far more interesting.

January 9, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit The Middle East And Africa Region

As if you need an excuse to pack your bags – yes, throw in the laptop if you must, just in case you find a spare few minutes for working – and jet across to the Middle East and Africa region. But if you do how about sunshine, beaches, culture, history, hell even meetings in Middle East and Africa are tempting when you consider the surroundings!

1. Full Of Surprises. The Middle East is often featured in the news, and it’s easy to get the wrong impression of these countries. Visit it, however, and you’ll be amazed at what you find, be it the picturesque beauty of the villages of Syria, Tel Aviv’s Jaffa district, the breathtaking Atlas Mountains or the modern architecture in Dubai.

2. Sunshine. Relax and enjoy the balmy and often seriously hot weather in this region. After your many meetings in Middle East and Africa, you’ll be ready to hit the beach or explore the desert. Why not try Jumeirah Beach in Dubai or a desert trek in Jordan? Feel the warmth and then decide how active you want to be! There’s a chance you’ll opt for a cool drink and good book as you chill during your leisure time.

3. Comfort. As a business traveller to the Middle East and North Africa, comfort will be a concern – maybe you have images of sweaty-backed meetings and clammy handshakes. Well, you’d be wrong, unless you happen to be unnaturally sweaty of course. All the major buildings including Holiday Inn Dubai where you can hold your conferences or business meetings have air conditioning to make sure the temperature indoors is far cooler than it is outside. You can work as though you were at home, although when you glance out of the window you may get a surprise!

4. Culture. There is so much to see and do in this part of the world that you’ll be spoilt for choice. Israel is a place rich in history and here you’ll be able to explore ancient sites and enjoy explorative walks. Likewise, Egypt is steeped in history, considered the oldest tourist destination in the world. In contrast, it’s modern fanfare that you get in Dubai, with lavishly constructed contemporary buildings such as the wave-shaped Jumeirah Beach Hotel, although there is also ample Arabic architecture to view – such as the Bastakiya Quarter and the Jumeriah Mosque.

5. Nightlife. Cosmopolitan cities in the Middle East and Africa region like Dubai have a buzzing nightlife that includes bars and restaurants, concerts, street parties and nightclubs.

6. Adventure. There are fantastic things to do, from diving in the Red Sea to gawping at the pyramids in Egypt. Egypt also offers adventures in the Sahara Desert and Nile cruises for sightseeing in style. Or perhaps an exploration around Atlas Mountains would get your heart racing. Alternatively, there’s the Dune Dinner in Dubai that consists of blasting over sand dunes in buggies, visiting a camel farm, watching a glorious sunset and then tucking into a barbecue dinner – it certainly beats your average UK barbecue of charcoaled bangers, rain and wind with a background view of your neighbour’s ornate flowerpots.

7. Gold. Dubai is called the City of Gold for good reason, and if it’s shopping you’re after then this is the city for you. There is more gold and jewellery on offer than you’ll be able to shake a credit card at in Gold Souk or Gold Market, and many of the air conditioned shopping malls are open until midnight so there’s ample time to part with your hard earned cash.

January 3, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Meet At Crowne Plaza Hotels And Resorts

Whether you’re a busy business bod jet-setting your way around the most important cities in the world or a chilled explorer of the globe’s supreme sights and sounds, you’ll want somewhere to rest your worn-out brain cells or blistered feet at the end of the day. Crowne Plaza Meetings are the way to go, regardless of your destination and travel reason, ensuring you can work or play in suitable and comfortable surrounds.

1. Business Matters. You can be more in the zone than a neighbour at a neighbourhood watch meeting and more impressive than a chocolate teapot juggler, with Crowne Plaza meetings. Smart premises, professional service and modern equipment all ensure your meeting or conference is a success, allowing you to make an excellent impression on clients and colleagues – and not simply your chair. The room can be decked accordingly, guest speakers can be made to materialise, workshops can be run, and even an entire course can be conducted on the premises, with your own website at your disposal for many of the business matters.

2. Fun Times. Maybe you’re sick of meetings and the thought of arranging a business function at a Crowne Plaza Hotel makes you feel unsteady – instead, why not throw a party? As always, any excuse will do, be it your dog’s birthday, 17 days since your last party, or a friend’s twenty-third twenty-first.

3. Venues For Hire. If you want a venue for your wedding that will reduce the stress and strain of the big day thanks to the excellent facilities and friendly, capable staff, Crowne Plaza is a good choice. Able to cater for up to 1000 people for a banquet-style occasion, you’ll be able to find the venue you’re looking for.

4. Good Food. Whether you want a working lunch, food full of nutrients to fuel you throughout the long meeting and help to keep you conscious, or a delicious dinner consumed at a leisurely pace, Crowne Plaza meetings provide food for the occasion. Fresh, healthy and, most importantly, tasty, meals can be served during your business meeting, conference, birthday party or indeed visit to the restaurant.

5. No Hassle. You’re a busy individual – we all are these days. If you’re not dashing from one serious meeting to the next, you’re probably quickly checking Facebook on your smartphone or playing a rushed game of Angry Birds as you walk down the street. So the last thing you have time for is a long booking system when you want to arrange venues for hire or meeting space – instead, simply search on Crowne Plaza’s website to find exactly what you’re looking for in an instant. Plus, the moment you pick up the phone or drop an email to start your enquiry, you’ll be assigned your own Director. Oh yes, direct away my friend and your meeting, conference, wedding, guest speaker event, quad biking activity, workshop or otherwise will be arranged.

6. Fitness. Corporate wellbeing is all the rage nowadays, but your wellbeing has always been all the rage – which is why so many of the hotels feature a fitness centre. Run on the treadmill or, if you feel you do enough of that at work anyway you could spend some time in the sauna.

7. Choice. The reassuring thing is that you can travel to an array of cities around the world and chances are you’ll be able to find a Crowne Plaza Hotel just round the corner. With 92 hotels scattered across Europe, the Middle East and Africa, you’re bound to find the smart business premises you need as well as the snazzy resort you’re longing for.

December 30, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit France For Business Travellers

France is a sophisticated, cultured country that is a must-visit place for any business traveller, especially the sophisticated sorts. Whether you’re passing through for a quick meeting or conference, or plan to spend a few days in Paris getting to know colleagues or attending a trade show, there are numerous reasons to select France for your business matters.

1. Creativity. France is well known for its innovation and invests heavily in creativity, which in turn inspires individuals. Let your imagine run wild as you talk strategy or chair a few Holiday Inn meetings France, enjoying the benefits of good living standards, highly educated workforce and supportive business venues – and of course the odd drop of red or fizz certainly doesn’t dent one’s creative juices. It’s no wonder that more than 20,000 international firms choose to have a base in France to boost their business.

2. Location. Glance at a map and you’ll spot that France is rather centrally situated in Europe, a hop, skip and jump away from other European nations and boasting good links to getting around. Train and motorway links are excellent, as are airports, letting you travel when and where you need to. Plus, there are ample places to stay and things to do within the country, meaning business travellers don’t need to look too hard to find a way to recover from the tedium of the long, drawn out meetings.

3. Variety. Regardless of whether èvènements d’entreprise, aka corporate events to the uninitiated, or leisure time are top of your list, France is such as diverse country that you can choose to arrange Holiday Inn meetings France in a bustling city or somewhere far more picturesque in the countryside. Ready for business, finding a venue in this country won’t be a challenge.

4. Long Lunches. The perfect combination of work and food is a given when you’re in France on business, with most firms insistent on taking lunch. And we don’t mean munching on a dry sandwich from the inadequate canteen, hunched over your desk, trying to catch up on today’s events or read the notes for your next meeting which you should have read and prepared for weeks ago, while you spill mayonnaise and dribble coffee on your keyboard as you’re in such a hurry to consume the grub. No sir, we mean tottering to a lovely little cafe or restaurant and settling in for a couple of hours – starter, main, dessert, coffee, cheese and, of course, lots of chatter about work and other important matters including which wine to order. Let the creativity flow!

5. Relaxed Pace. While you’ll need to dress the part, with a suit and smart attire, punctuality tends to be fairly relaxed in France. So take your time in the morning, let your croissant and tea settle before dashing to your first meeting, knowing that a fairly flexible approach is taken to such matters.

6. Time Off. Once your meetings are over and done with, you can relax and decide how best to spend your afternoon, evening or weekend. Depending on whether you’re doing business in Paris or attending èvènements d’entreprise (we’re not telling you twice) in some idyllic location in the south of France, there will be plenty to do. From fine dining to pavement cafes, museums and diverse galleries, jazz clubs, chateaus and breathtaking scenery, France is perfect for the business traveller with a bit of spare time on his hands.

7. Language. Now you have an excuse to learn a bit of French, to acquire the language of love – knowing the language, even if it is rudimentary, will stand you in good stead when you meet colleagues at corporate events or attend a conference. Furthermore, it’ll make sightseeing that bit easier if you know how to order “a glass of champagne”, “your finest cake” or arrange your travel details for your next meeting location in France.

December 29, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Your Granny Will Always Prefer Offline Bingo

We all love our Grannies, it brightens up our day by just seeing them: well, most of the time they do. It is kind of a stereotypical view to say that only old people play bingo, but this is a misconception with online bingo; however, offline bingo is defiantly more popular amongst the older generation. Below are seven reasons why your Granny can be found chilling at her local bingo hall.

1. Technology. The latest technology/gadgets and the older generation simply do not mix. Usually if your grandma has a mobile phone it will look like the following:

As long as it makes and receives calls then that is all that is required. To play online bingo you will need not only an internet connect but a PC and knowing how to operate the PC and the online functionality of flash software. All of which is a pain unless you grew up with your eyeballs glued to a PC monitor.

2. Good Old Banter. Your Granny loves to talk…well, mine does. I can never shut her up, lol (bless her). What would be more fitting than a game that revolves around talking? Offline bingo is extremely social, so granny can chin wag to all her friends for a couple of hours. We tend to be at out lowest when we feel alone, a few hours of socialising is just what the doctor order to keep your grandma happy as Larry.

3. It Gets Her Out Of The House. As you get older you tend not to go out of the house as much, especially if your partner is no longer with you. Travelling to your local bingo club once a week is something you look forward to. Just logging on a computer in your home still makes you feel isolated.

4. It Makes Her Day. We all love to win, even if the price is nothing spectacular. Usually at bingo clubs the prizes are around the respectable £25 per house jackpot that are defiantly worth the 5p/25p a ticket. If she wins you grandchildren are the ones that usually benefit, so keep routing for her.

5. She Is Down With The Kids. Grannies are cool, end off. They love to do cool things and they love to be in with the trend. Millions of UK people and people from all around the world love to play offline and online bingo, the gambling sport is huge.

6. Not As It Once Was. As you get older your hearing and sight are not as good as they once were. This does not make it any better with a tiny monitor and speakers. At your local bingo club the bingo callers have voices that wish you had a remote control handy and the tickets are easy to see.

7. Using The Bus Pass. In the UK, when you get to a certain age you qualify for a free bus pass that entitles you to ride on bus for free (unsure if the US issue them). Visiting her local bingo hall gives her a reason to use her bus pass. Well, if it costs you nothing to get there…why not?

Next time you ask your Grandma: “Grandma, why do you play bingo all the time, you never win?” Think to yourself, it is not always about the winning.

December 28, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Christmas Eve Is Better Than Christmas Day

If you were in the 7 Reasons club this time last year, no doubt you’ll be rushing down to the butchers today to celebrate The Day Of The Sausage. The rest of you, no doubt, will be eagerly awaiting tomorrow. Christmas Day. Arguably the best day of the year. Well, certainly in the top 365 anyway. Here at 7 Reasons we are not adverse to handing out gifts and this year you get yours a day early. It’s a special Christmas post from the undisputed King of Guest Posts, Richard O’Hagan. PS: When he’s not writing rude words in the snow he’s adding to his Memory Blog. Well worth a RSS Feed Subscription.

1. Anticipation. One of the best things about Christmas Eve is that it isn’t Christmas Day. Obviously. This means that it is the day when you reach the height of anticipation about the day to come. You can’t do anything more. The shops are shut and Amazon haven’t been able to piece together a next day delivery service for December 25th*, so you just have to kick back, relax and resign yourself to the fact that you can’t do anything to make Christmas any better, so you just have to look forward to the day to come. And you also get to build large toys whilst drunk. No-one who has ever tried to put together a tricycle at five to midnight ever forgets that experience, no matter how much Baileys they’ve downed beforehand (and no matter how hard they try to)

2. Food Choice. It’s only Christmas Eve, so you can eat what you damn well like. The mandatory turkey-fest is another day away and all dining options remain open to you. Which means that if you fancy getting a huge takeaway so that you can have the leftovers for breakfast on Christmas morning, you can do. Or you could have sausages.

3. TV. For all of the build up that the television companies give to the 25th, Christmas Eve television is infinitely better than Christmas Day’s offering. Aside from anything else, it tends not to be clogged up with octogenarians reading you their Christmas letter and Channel 4 trying far too hard to be trendy, not to mention the tired old sitcoms that weren’t that funny anyway being even less funny as they try to shoehorn a festive storyline into their archaic format.

4. Shopping. The shops being closed on Christmas Day isn’t a bad thing in general, but at least on Christmas Eve you can pop to Sainsbury’s if you run out of milk or, heaven forbid, booze.

5. Work. Admittedly this doesn’t apply to so many people this year, but over seventy percent of the time Christmas Eve is a work day. It is a great day to go to work for most, because almost nothing gets done, you get to go home early and someone pays you for working the full day. And if you do have to work properly, you get to feel all virtuous and Christmassy anyway because you are the only people working properly, so it is a win-win whichever way you look at it.

6. Lie-Ins. Whether you are working or not, you can be sure of one thing – you will get to sleep in longer on Christmas Eve than you will on Christmas Day. If you have small children, they will be up and wanting to open presents practically as soon as the clock passes midnight. If you have older children, you’re probably going to be woken up by your grandchildren instead. If you have no children, your partner will get over-excited and still wake you up early. And if you live alone, don’t worry, there will be a child wailing somewhere long before 7am to rouse you from your slumber. Get all the sleep you can on the 24th, because the 25th is going to hurt. Which is why you should make sure that you don’t run out of booze on the 24th.

7. Disappointment. Inevitably, Christmas Day cannot live up to all of the expectations. We build it up to be the perfect day of all days, so something has to go wrong – the turkey taking too long to cook, the neighbours calling in unexpectedly, Santa not bringing you the moon on a stick that you asked for. Christmas Day cannot help but be a disappointment. Christmas Eve never is, because at the end of it a fat bloke is going to give you a load of presents. And nothing is better than free presents, is it?

*In truth, they’ve not really worked out a delivery service for most of December, preferring the ‘give it to Yodel or City Link and hope the customer forgets ever ordering it’ option. One the things I ordered is presumably still in a locked empty flat where Yodel apparently delivered it a fortnight ago.

December 24, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why The Banana Splits Are Brilliant

I would like to say we’ve been saving this one especially for Christmas. But that would be lying. The truth is I lost this post in the 7 Reasons vault sometime in April. Not that I knew it at the time. You see, this only came to light on Friday when today’s author – Richard O’Hagan – queried why we hadn’t published his 43rd 7 Reasons work. Or words to that effect anyway. I said I didn’t know and blamed Marc. Then I realised it was my fault. Anyway, it’s all sorted now and today Richard’s post finally gets the airing it deserves. If you want to read more from Richard, he’s still remembering things and writing them down over at The Memory Blog.

***

This post was precipitated by a conversation which I had with Marc at the end of March. Well, I say ‘conversation’, but it was on Twitter and largely consisted of me sitting there twiddling my thumbs whilst Marc went off and changed nappies/fed the wife/saved the world/did other manly things. The conversation began with Marc comparing me to the fifth Beatle, something which I objected to on the grounds of limited life expectancy and even more limited royalty cheques. It ended with me agreeing to be the fifth Banana Split, which suits me fine because I have a weakness for ice cream sundaes (they are more edible that Russian Roulette ones, I find).

Then I realised that he didn’t mean delicious fruit and dairy desserts, but the television show of the same name. Which I didn’t mind either, because I loved that show as a kid. In fact, here are ‘7 Reasons Why The Banana Splits Are Brilliant’.

1. Fleegle. What better name could there be for a beagle? It rhymes, it has the ‘flea’ connotation, and moreover this one was in charge of one of the greatest television shows ever. If I actually liked dogs, and if they didn’t fall foul of my ‘no point in having any pet that you can’t eat’ rule*, and if I was going to get a beagle, I’d name it ‘Fleegle’ too.

2. Bingo. Bingo was the drum playing orangutan with the glasses and the biggest grin this side of an American TV evangelist. Whenever great, charismatic, drummers are mentioned – Moon the Loon, Bonzo Bonham, Animal from The Muppets – Bingo is always left out, yet that level of spaced out dementia doesn’t just come from nowhere. Today, 7 Reasons is putting Bingo back where he belongs, in the great pantheon of drumming nutjobs.

3. Snorky. Without a doubt the least convincing elephant in the history of television, Snorky (for some reason referred to as ‘Snork’ in the theme song) was the non-speaking, squeaking, member of the Splits. Surprisingly deft on the keyboards and remarkably hairy, he has the odd distinction of being the most recognisable of the four despite never saying an intelligible word, thereby making him the Ian Brown of his day.

4. Drooper. It was only when I was researching this piece – yes, there was research, you think I just know this stuff? – that I realised that Drooper was supposed to be a lion. I’d always assumed that he was some particularly mangy breed of dog. Now I know that he’s actually the skinniest, mangiest lion in history. But he did have exceedingly cool sunglasses well before the likes of Liam Gallagher were even thought of. And ‘Drooper’s Letters’ preceded anything Viz could come up with by at least a decade. Moreover, he was voiced by

5. Daws Butler. The legendary Hanna-Barbera voiceover artist, the man behind not only Snagglepuss and Quick Draw McGraw, but Yogi Bear himself. That’s right, the Banana Splits have a direct genetic line to Yogi and BooBoo, despite none of them being a bear at all. Which means that they invented cross species genetic engineering long before Wayne Rooney’s parents thought of it.

6. Banana Buggies. Would sir like a multicoloured beach buggy to drive across the dunes at high speed? YES PLEASE! If there has been a cooler summertime mode of transport than a Banana Buggy then I have yet to see it. And better still, unlike other anthropomorphosised television characters, they didn’t have to share. Oh no. They got one each. Being a Banana Split meant never having to wonder which seat you were going to sit in, and therefore never having to understand Rebecca Black.

7. Theme Tune. The theme tune is, without doubt, the greatest children’s tv theme of all time. Aside from anything else, it is the only one to have been covered by a punk band** and the only one that it is still cool to sing when you are as old as me***. And definitely the only one to have been released on yellow vinyl.

*You were expecting a tired cliché masquerading as a joke here, won’t you. Go on, admit it! I can see you smiling, you know.

**The Toy Dolls’ cover of ‘Nellie the Elephant’ doesn’t count, as it was never the theme to a children’s show and they were about as punk as Cliff Richard

***Oh, yes it is!

December 19, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Believe Harry Potter Exists

As you may have noticed, here at 7 Reasons we have a habit of belittling other people’s muppetry. The question, ‘Is Harry Potter Real?’, for instance, would have us stampeding towards our pencil cases. As indeed we did when we discovered this. However, when today’s guest post dropped on our inbox mat, we had to take a step back. And question ourselves. Because today we are confronted with seven compelling reasons that suggest maybe, just maybe, we were too quick to judge. Perhaps, just perhaps, Harry Potter does exist after all. So, with that in mind, let’s get to the post. Written today by massive Harry Potter nerd, Rachel, who went to boarding school and Oxford University just to have an education as close to the Hogwarts experience as possible.

Come on, admit it: at least once in your life, you’ve fantasised about what it would be like to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Depending on the level of your Harry Potter obsession, you might even have gone as far as to have a careful think about which House you’d get put into by the Sorting Hat (definitely Ravenclaw for me). If you’re still waiting for that Hogwarts acceptance letter to drop down your chimney, check out our seven great reasons why you should hold out hope that the magical world of Harry Potter really exists…

1. Online Stores. Anyone looking for a reason to believe need search no further than their computer screen. A decent Google session later and you could quite easily purchase yourself a wide array of wizarding accessories. With anything from school supplies to apparel, time turners and hand carved wands available, any budding witch or wizard can easily stock up for their first day at Hogwarts. Just order your acceptance letter (again, available online) and head on down to platform 9¾ at King’s Cross Station.

2. Muggle Wear. When wizards attempt to dress in ‘Muggle clothes’, the result is notoriously hilarious: slippers with pinstripe suits, a middle-aged man sporting a flowery dress and a bowler hat, or unusual patterns and colour combinations, the ensembles that they come up with are anything but normal. I’m sure everyone has seen someone whose outfit garners a second glance or a funny look, someone who doesn’t seem to understand that you shouldn’t wear a dressing gown with skinny jeans. Maybe they were just cold? Or maybe they were an undercover wizard.

3. Supernatural Sightings. Yetis in Tibet, the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland or aliens in Roswell: hundreds of unbelievable, supernatural sightings and occurrences are reported every year. What’s easier to believe: that a UFO sighting is proof of alien life from space, or that it was just a glimpse of Mr Weasley’s flying Ford Anglia? Or even a small bespectacled boy riding on a hippogriff.

4. History. Ancient records are littered with references to the occult: Merlin in Camelot, witch hunts in Salem or stories of immortality elixirs – tales of witches and wizards permeate the fabric of our history. There’s no smoke, as they say, without fire.

5. Sweet Stuff. Sugar Quills, Fizzing Whizzbees, Butterbeer, Exploding Bonbons, Liquorice Wands, Jelly Slugs, Chocolate Frogs, Cauldron Cakes, Pumpkin Pasties, Firewhiskey, Pepper Imps, Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum, Acid Pops and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. I don’t know about you, but I’m not prepared to live in a world where these sweet treats don’t exist.

6. Quidditch. The strangest of games, Quidditch defies the laws of logic. Not only is this school sport played in mid-air (health and safety anyone?), but unless one of the teams is able to gain a lead of at least 160 points, the whole match, and subsequently the final score, rests on the shoulders of the Seeker. You can’t make this stuff up, so it must be real.

7. The International Statue Of Wizarding Secrecy. This may be the most obvious reason of all, but the only reason for not believing that Harry Potter is real lies in the absence of proof: why would we have proof? These are not wayward sorcerers who cast spells at random; the Ministry of Magic has rules about that sort of thing. Officially established in 1692, the Statue of Secrecy was created to “safeguard the wizard community from Muggles, and hide their presence from the world at large”. With such a law in place, I’m sure that any Muggle with proof would find themselves on the wrong end of a memory charm pretty sharpish.

If you have any further reasons to add, please leave a comment below – we are the believers!

December 15, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Be Your Own Sovereign Nation

Remember when you were a youngster and you drew a new country – Jonville – in your parent’s atlas? No? Well you missed out. I did and my imaginary country was amazing. But that’s all it was. Amazing and imaginary. It never actually became a reality. (As those of you who have looked in a 2011 atlas will know.) Today’s guest post from Mark Richardson goes that one step further. Mark’s not interested in whimsy. He’s interested in the real thing. He wants to start his own country. And here’s why you should do it too:

Many of the great, and imaginary, thinkers of our time have said; “There’s no freedom like political freedom”. And they are right. Don’t take my word for it, read a history book. Its pages will be drenched with the blood of warriors who fought for independent rule and freedom. That could be you. Although I would advise you don’t actually fight for freedom. Rather have some coffee and get others to fight for you. Like the French do.

“Why should I be my own sovereign nation?” I hear you ask. Well here are seven thought provoking reasons.

1. No More Speeding Tickets. I don’t remember being included in the meeting where speed limits were decided. Democracy failing at the first hurdle there really. Well, diplomatic immunity will solve that. Next time you’re handed a speeding ticket, hand it back claiming you are beyond the jurisdiction of traffic law enforcement, and demand an apology. You will need diplomatic number plates though. And your nation’s flag flying from your car. That’s a nice touch.

2. Military Allies. Label anyone who messes with you a rebel insurgent and request military assistance from the United States Army. Let’s see those neighbourhood punks give you crap when there’s an Apache Gunship hunting them down.

3. Money, Money, Money. Don’t stress about that new credit card application. Request one hundred million a year directly from the IMF. Billions exchange hands every year in loans to third world economies. Why shouldn’t you get a piece of that? Claim you need the money to implement a project to build decent housing and ease the overcrowding in your nation’s more populated cities. Roughly translated; get yourself a big house. Personally, my nation could do with a 150 acre secluded coastal estate with a private beach and helicopter pad.

4. Travel The World. Sick of economy class and cheap hotels? Me too. Plan a trip to Washington DC and request to stay in the White House and have a meeting in the Oval Office with the President. Demand that the press be present, and request a personal bodyguard for the duration of your US visit. Insist that this bodyguard be Chuck Norris.

5. Make Up Your Own Holidays. Why settle for the mere handful of holidays issued by your regular government when you could invent your own when it suits you? It doesn’t have to stop at holidays either. Parades are fun. An annual street parade based around a bikini theme is a killer foreign policy plan. The problem is that regular governments don’t put enough thought into this stuff.

6. Get Rid Of Door-To-Door Sales People. Sales people encroaching on your land to sell you crap you don’t need are to be immediately detained as spies and found guilty of espionage, and then imprisoned never to be seen again. Those that email you spam will be tracked down with the help of Western Intelligence Services, accused of cyber terrorism and sent to Guantanamo where violent things will be done to their sensitive parts. Seriously, I hate those guys.

7. Get Your Own National Anthem. Yes, one of the perks of being a visiting dignitary everywhere you go. Be creative here. Don’t go the normal boring route. Try Bulls On Parade by Rage Against The Machine and demand that it is played every time you walk into a room. Also, everyone should stand respectfully for the entire duration of the song.

Well, there you go. Be your own Nation. Craft your own destiny. I should point out at this stage that these suggestions probably actually won’t work in a real world situation. But if you don’t ever try you won’t ever experience the crushing failure that leaves you feeling like an underachieving loser.

December 14, 2011