Tag: Vacation

Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Pack It All In And Travel The World

It’s a lovely idea, isn’t it? Far-off places, beautiful beaches, different cultures. Freedom from the daily grind. Until, that is, all the reasons why you shouldn’t pack it all in and travel the world race into your mind to stamp on your embryonic daydream. If you’re not so terrified that you’ve stopped reading altogether, here’s 7 reasons to resuscitate your dream.

1. Britain’s too expensive… I live in Germany and every time I meet someone who has visited Britain, I hear the same complaint: it’s soooo expensive! Imagine living there, I tell them. The cost of living is going up, while pay is being cut or frozen. It’s a simple equation: Brits work more and pay more and in the end we receive less. Think about that.

2. Britain’s too, well, outraged… The endless stream of talent contests we’ve been subjected to over the last few years might have been a warm-up for the big bonanza, The London Olympics, but all this has been a brief interval in the favoured pastime of the British: moral outrage! If there were Olympic medals available for complaining, who would win all three? Yep, Team GB. Speaking as someone who has left the Iles of Wonder, I’ve found that other cultures deal with problems in different ways, but they all have one thing in common: a lot less complaining. It’s a relief to not feel so obliged to complain.

3. Who are The Jones’ anyway? We’re in a desperate race that begins the day we are born. First it was the right nappies, then it was the right lunchbox, then it was the right clothes. Before you know it, it’s the right phone, then the right car, the right mortgage for the right house in the right area, the right holiday destinations, the right schools for the kids, the right universities that we can’t really afford, the right pension policy (or to call it what it really is: the right amount to fund the endless gambling of those schmucks in The City), and before you know it, your final concern; the right sending off, which you won’t enjoy because you’re well on your way to becoming carbon, or catching the train to the afterlife – whatever you believe.

4. You might not be able to stay… More and more of us are facing the stark reality that jobs are scarce. It’s tough times in Britain and while you have worked hard for the moderate, yet comfortable life you lead, if you lose your job, getting another one in Blighty will be difficult. It’s in moments like these that the totally insane question of “What would I do if..?” can bring you life changing answers.

5. You can afford it, even if you think you can’t… Most of us think a round-the-world trip as a £10,000, or £20,000 adventure. It doesn’t have to be. Some people choose to save up enough to get them through the first couple of destinations. Once they arrive somewhere they like, they find work and build-up a pot of money to get them to the next couple of destinations and so on. Some choose freelance work, or teaching, while others choose to participate as healthy volunteers in paid clinical trials for organisations such as volunteers.gsk. The point is if the idea sounds better than the next series of Britain’s Got Talent, what are you waiting for?

6. A different perspective… Different cultures bring with them different perspectives, like how to cross the road in the opposite way (try it. It’s more thrilling than a shark dive!)

There are different etiquettes, like “We don’t pass the salt here; you’ll have to reach for it yourself.”

And finally, the stark and slightly terrifying realisation that the rest of the world is perfectly comfortable having sex without the aid of several glasses of wine/beer/vodka/gin/tequila/sambuca/a sickening mix of all six (delete as appropriate).

Immersion in other languages and perspectives will force you to grow in directions you never thought possible.

7. There’s more to life… There’s more to life than the daily commutes, sales targets, deadlines, council tax, plumbers who don’t turn up to fix your busted boiler, singing contests and your favourite latte from the cafe near the train station. There are even places on this planet where the sun actually shines, where people sit in the shade enjoying an unhurried cup of something pleasant, where the road is open and those who walk it will find out who they really are.

August 12, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Book A Summer Holiday

With schools in the UK just breaking up for the summer holidays, many people still haven’t booked a family holiday. Talks of a double dip recession, job insecurity, rainy weather and uncertainty about the Euro have meant that many families have been left unsure of what to do with their main summer break. But you know you deserve a holiday! So why wait?

1. Don’t tear your hair out at home. Staying at home can feel ok for the first three days of the school holidays. After that, the kids will be running riot around the house, misbehaving and crying out ‘I’m bored’. You will be desperate to escape from the four walls of your home. If only you could escape from your family too…

2. It doesn’t have to cost the earth. In these times of economic uncertainty, many people resist booking a holiday until the last minute. The thing is, in uncertain times more than ever, we need a bit of joy in our lives and holidays are even more important. There are plenty of cheap self catering UK cottage holidays still available for this summer and booking last minute means that you can take advantage of great deals, making your holiday even friendlier on the wallet and hopefully giving you some spare cash to splash on meals out and treats for the kids whilst you are away.

3. Kids love holidays! Anyone remember being the only kid in the class who hadn’t been away for a summer holiday? Just me then? Give your kids some stories to tell back at school and something to write about in their ‘what I did in the holidays’ diary, you don’t want them going back to school looking like the poor kid who didn’t get to go anywhere.
On a serious note, holidays are educational for kids, they can learn about new places and experience new things. You might actually enjoy spending time with them. Going on holiday won’t make your kids behave but you can keep your fingers crossed that it might!

4. It doesn’t have to be loads of hassle. The thought of packing to go away, airports, queues and seasickness can all make it feel like it is way too much hassle to go away. It doesn’t have to be! Keep it simple, stay in the UK, pack up a few essentials in the boot of the car and off you go. There are plenty of places to look for hassle free holidays in the UK, like Web Cottages. You can take your own food and you won’t have to worry about the inconvenience of finding food that fussy youngsters will like when abroad too. Winner! There are enough things to think about without making life more difficult for you.

5. You never know what’s around the corner. It sounds really doom and gloom but you never know what the future may hold. 2013 may mean the end of the world for all we know! If the end of the world or more economic problems, and a whole host of other disasters are potentially just around the corner then we may as well enjoy ourselves now. Book a few days away; if we are all going to die next year at least we can die happy!

6. It’s good for your health! Going on holiday is good for you, fact! Well, the right sort of holiday is. Get away from the house, the office and the car and spend some time in the great outdoors. Loose a few pounds by walking in the countryside or along the coastline. You can even treat yourself to a ice cream or portion of fish and chips, it’s about a balanced diet after all! Not only will you return feeling refreshed and relaxed but you will be ready to back to work and endue the rest of the school holidays.

7. Make the most of the sunshine! Fingers crossed we may actually get a summer this year! News reports say that the jet stream that has been causing awful wet weather across the UK is set to change so we may actually get some lovely British sunshine. Make the most of it and head to the seaside for a beach holiday. Even if it rains, our good old British spirit will kick in. We are used to rainy beach holidays after all.
So, get on your marks, get set, go! Make the most of the school holidays this summer.

July 19, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Turn The Radio Up This Summer

Each year the summer feels like it begins with the melodic ringing of a catchy light hearted pop song that will stay in our heads for the entire season of hot weather and barbeques. There seems to be a song that signifies summer for all of us. Let’s take a look at some reasons to turn the volume dial to max.

1. Madonna – Holiday. It’s cheesy, easy and often the bragging song for those lucky enough to have booked a beach holiday. It’s not uncommon to hear Madonna’s holiday ringing round the canteen at work as Dave from Sales rubs it in that you’ll be taking on his workload for 2 weeks while he’s off to Majorca.

Year: 1982 UK Chart Position: 2

2. Cliff Richard – Summer Holiday. If you’re under 40 you may not have heard this song ever, and if you do, it’s unlikely that you’ll be rushing out to buy it. Before CDs had been invented and no one knew iPods were even possible, the squeaky clean crooner Cliff Richard managed to string the song out in to an entire film and the album of the same named topped the album charts. Expect embarrassing parents and grandparents to sing this one prior to a trip to the seaside or a family picnic.

Year: 1963 UK Chart Position: 1

3. Fresh Prince & Jazzy Jeff – Summertime. Before Will Smith began chasing aliens around films sets he was making funky friendly rap music under the alias The Fresh Prince. This is a good song for cruising in the car with the top down.

Year: 1991 UK Chart Position: 8

4. The Beach Boys – Surfing USA. Released the same year as Cliff Richard’s summer holiday but much cooler, because it’s about surfing and surfing is cool. If you haven’t heard this summer song you clearly haven’t been to a beach bar, school disco or the USA.

Year: 1963 UK Chart Position: 34

5. Wham! – Club Tropicana. Club Tropicana drinks are free – well if you’re on an all-inclusive package holiday they are! George Michael dances round the pool in this popular eighties hit that takes the listener off to the topical cocktail pool party dream.

Year: 1983 UK Chart Position: 4

6. LMFAO – Party Rock Anthem. For modern pop fans this dance track signifies the start of summer, late nights in Ibiza and hot sweaty night clubs for of scantily clad youngsters. Hear it once and it will stay in your head. All summer.

Year: 2011 UK Chart Position: 1

7. Mungo Jerry – In the Summertime. This classic tune has been used for many TV adverts. It’s a feel good, low key track but yet has achieved the status of the biggest selling single of all time worldwide. A cover version from the 1990s by Shaggy got to number 5 in the UK charts too.

Year: 1970 UK Chart Position: 1

Summer tunes are the soundtrack to happy days and carefree relaxation, whether you take your holiday as a road trip, visiting the vineyards with a house exchange France, camping in the woods or jetting off to the Balearics. For luxury home swapping accommodation for holidays all around the world, visit Lovehomeswap.com who kindly provided us with these top summer songs.

May 26, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In Cambodia

When celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay visited Cambodia as part of his Great Escape series, he didn’t exactly showcase the best this incredible country has to offer. Amongst other things, he caught and ate spiders and went hunting for frogs to serve as a dish. While we leave the eating of anthropoids to Gordon, here are seven reasons why Cambodia holidays are the way forward.

1. Cambodia Holidays Are Easy On The Wallet. A typical meal from a street vendor will cost you $2 or $3 and from there the price to quality ratio keeps climbing. For $20 you can enjoy three unforgettable courses at ethical restaurants like Romdeng in Phnom Penh (part of a great NGO network). How about a main of Fish Amok finished off with a desert of deep fried sugar-rice dumplings served with ice-cream – sound good?

2. Angkor Wat? Well, actually it is one of the world’s finest religious sites. Yes, this 12th century Khmer and Dravidian temple complex is famous the world over. UNESCO protected Angkor was ‘rediscovered’ by tourism after the last of the murderous regime of the Khmer Rouge left towards the end of the 1980s and into the 1990s. Since then it has wowed tourists from across the globe. It enjoyed a particular spike in popularity after Angelina Jolie bought the dream of geeks – Lady Lara Croft – to the big screen in 2001. Angkor is the perfect addition to your holiday.

3. The People. Despite years of turmoil, from the horrors of the American-Vietnam war through the 60s and 70s and then the abhorrent regime of the Khmer Rouge in the 70s and 80s, Cambodians have faced their challenges with one large and enduring smile. Cambodia is home to hundreds of distinct cultures and its people can be found in the bright (ish) cities of Phnom Penh and (only really famous for being so close to Angkor Wat) Siem Reap. It is however, in the countryside & small towns where you’ll meet the real people of Cambodia. Quieter towns like Battambang offer a more unique insight to Cambodia life and really add that ‘cultural’ dimension to your holiday. As with all destinations just wandering the streets or embarking on a traditional home-stay are great ways to meet the people.

4. Beaches. No holiday is complete without some time in the beach. Cambodia southern coast is truly unique. Ever been to Hawaii, Kuta or Spain and seen what a thousand sun-burned bodies look like? Well, not in Cambodia – you have access to hundreds of miles of unspoiled beaches that offer views like Thailand but with half the crowds. Cambodia’s southern coast has a smattering of resorts. Sokha Beach is the largest and most popular (especially with backpackers) but Kep and Kampot (3 hours from the capital, Phnom Penh) offer solid holiday accommodation and real tranquillity.

5. Access. Getting there is a doddle. Cambodia is well serviced by the busy regional hub airports of Bangkok and Singapore that deal with holidaymakers the world over. After a neon-lit night of fun in Bangkok or cocktail-based revelry in splendiferous Singapore hop aboard your regional connection to Phnom Penh or Siem Reap to begin you holiday of a lifetime.

6. Accommodation. From 5* hotels such as the Hotel De La Paix (a favourite for celebrities!) or Raffles in Siem Reap to cosy home-stays in rural Cambodia, you will not be left wanting.

7. Tonle Sap Lake. No, not like many ‘lakes’ tourists are sold; Tonle Sap is a real lake. Not only is it a ‘real’ lake, it is also colossal!! In fact, it is the largest fresh-water lake in South East Asia. For those that like factoids its year-round average size is 2,700 square km. A visit is a must.

Author Bio: Kian has travelled extensively in Asia. His favourite destination in Cambodia is the town of Battambang and his favourite holiday experience is watching the sunrise over Angkor Wat away from the crowds.

March 23, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Laos Is The Place For Lovers

If your lover gets a bit annoying, at least you can gaze into the eyes of another

1. It’s Out Of The Ordinary. For couples looking for a destination slightly out of the ordinary, a place to get their married life off to the right start and keep it on track, a Laos honeymoon can hardly be bettered. The whole country is intriguing, mystical and different, offering something for lovers that will create everlasting memories.

2. You Can Feel The Timeless Essence Of South East Asia. Laos is surrounded by neighbouring countries that have embraced consumerism and seen their cityscapes and cultural heritage completely transformed, but in Laos you get to experience the timelessness of South East Asia in a pristine condition. This is a landlocked country, a sort of real-life Shangri-La. Without beaches, it’s true, but with many other compensatory attributes. After all, beaches are not difficult to find, but the riches of Laos are rare indeed.

3. Peaceful City Life… In Asia, Really? Vientiane is the capital, although you wouldn’t think so when you experience its sleepy peacefulness – a world away in all senses from the great capitals of Western Europe with their rush and bustle. In many respects, Vientiane encapsulates the Laos ethos of laid-back agrarianism which many find so refreshing. The people here aren’t too concerned about finding their place in the economic sun and are content to continue as their forebears did without what they consider to be unnecessary distractions.

4. You Get To See Real Monks – And I Don’t Mean The Kung-Fu Kind. For real charm and a slightly more interesting urban environment just head for Luang Prabang, the premier city of Laos and the most popular one with visitors here. The tone of Luang Prabang is set if you rise at dawn and look down into the main street, where monks slowly and silently file down to the old part of town, begging for alms with small silver bowls. But it’s not really seen as begging, more a case of keeping the religious machinery nicely oiled so that the monks’ meditations and prayers will help keep the world spinning and keep the romantic love flowing.

5. You Can See A UNESCO World Heritage Site. The whole of Luang Prabang is a UNESCO World Heritage site, so the many picturesque Buddhist temples and beautifully embellished palaces are safely protected from the curse of the developers who have blighted most other major towns and cities in the region. The acres of mosaic walls and filigree gold stenciling are in no danger of becoming packing aggregate in high rise office blocks, and will hopefully continue to delight us for many centuries to come.

6. There Is Peace And Harmony (I Forgot That Even Existed). It’s actually the spiritual ambiance, tangible throughout the whole of Laos and manifested in its many religious buildings and ancient ceremonial customs that makes the country so unique. The sense of harmony and reconciliation – despite its troubled recent history – work perfectly in keeping with the ideals and hopes of a honeymooning couple.

7. Everyone Is Chilled And Smiles, It’s Just A Perfect Place For Romance. The Laos people are unhurried and friendly, always smiling and even in relative poverty unflappably cheerful, an example to us all. One of the delights of a honeymoon here must surely be to sit at a table overlooking the lazy Mekong River with the locals, a glass of chilled white wine in one hand and your partner’s in the other. The river winds through Vientiane before wandering off untroubled and without any hurry through scattered fields and rural communities as it has since time immemorial, and indeed time itself seems to stop in its tracks here and allow a few precious moments of tranquility.

Author Bio: David Elliott is a freelance writer who loves to travel, especially in Europe and Turkey. He’s spent most of his adult life in a state of restless excitement but recently decided to settle in North London. He gets away whenever he can to immerse himself in foreign cultures and lap up the history of great cities.

March 2, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Wear A Two-Piece Swimsuit Over a One-Piece

Today we are joined on the 7 Reasons sofa by Susan Bodack. Susan is a blogger for Beauty & the Beach, a swimwear and fashion blog by InStyleSwimwear.com. It will come as no surprise, then, that her guest post is all about that most puzzling of conundrums. What kind of swimsuit to go for.

When many women hear the words “two-piece swimsuit,” panic starts to set in and confidence levels start to drop. I’m here to tell you that everything you think you know about two-pieces is probably wrong. You don’t have to be a supermodel or even freakishly good looking to wear one. Regardless of your size or body type, you should opt to wear a two-piece swimsuit over a one-piece. Sorry fellas, this post is strictly for the ladies. But you can thank me later. 🙂

1. Show Off That Bikini Bod (Or Lack Thereof). As I mentioned in the intro, you don’t have to be flawless to look flawless in a two-piece swimsuit. Lucky for us ladies (myself included) there are different types of two-pieces besides those skimpy string bikinis. For those who are in shape and have spent months perfecting that bikini bod for summer, a two-piece bikini gives you an excuse to show off that hard-earned body. But for those who are a bit more athletically-challenged, a tankini-style two-piece swimsuit may be more your style.

2. Tan Lines Are NOT Sexy. The jury’s in, ladies. Tan lines are NOT sexy. Unless you’re into nude beaches, tan lines are pretty much inevitable during summer; but the less you have, the better. A two-piece swimsuit exposes more of your skin than a one-piece, whether you’re wearing a skimpy bikini or a tankini. And with tankinis, you can still pull your top up a bit to let your stomach see the light of day, which I highly recommend. Two-Piece Tan > Farmer’s Tan > One-Piece Tan.

3. Going Pee Is Easy as 1, 2, 3! If you’ve ever worn a one-piece, you know that something so simple as going to the bathroom can become quite the hassle. Unlike one-pieces, a two-piece swimsuit makes going pee as easy as 1, 2, 3. With two-pieces, you don’t have to practically get undressed in the stall just to do your business. Some may argue that there are ways around it but let’s not get inventive and make things harder for yourself for no good reason.

4. Swimsuit Weather is Hot. Duh. When it comes time to bust out the swimsuits, you know it’s pretty hot out. When you go to and from the beach, pool or wherever your watering hole may be, chances are you probably just throw on your cover-up. A two-piece swimsuit feels more like typical undergarments and less like a layer of clothing, and during the hot and humid weather, you want to have as little on as possible… without getting arrested.

5. Next Best Thing… Let me just start off by saying that I DO NOT condone public nudity. Now that I got that disclosure out of the way, wearing a two-piece swimsuit is definitely the next best thing to being naked. Let’s be honest—we all walk around in the buff from time to time in the privacy of our own homes. It gives us a sense of freedom. Sure, there are some nude beaches around, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that the majority of us prefer public beaches. A two-piece swimsuit allows you to expose yourself without actually exposing yourself.

6. Wax On, Wax Off. No, I’m not referring to Mr. Miyagi’s words of wisdom, but rather a good old-fashioned bikini wax. I know what you’re thinking. Bikini waxes are no fun. But you know what they say… No pain, no gain! Despite what you may think, everyone needs some maintenance down there, whether you’re a man or woman. Since wearing a two-piece swimsuit exposes more of your body than a one-piece, it’s the perfect excuse to go get waxed. It’s one of those necessary evils and I promise it’s not that bad. And I’m sure your significant other will greatly appreciate it.

7. Um, Excuse me, Grandma? Whether you’re a one-piece or two-piece swimsuit wearer, you can’t deny that one-pieces tend to get the short end of the stick; there’s less of a selection, they’re always done in boring dark solid colors, there’s less variety in styles and well, they’re just not at pretty as two-piece swimsuit styles. We all know that once you hit a certain age, gravity starts to take its toll on certain, ahem, features. Celebrate your body while you’ve still got it going on. Whether you’re stick skinny or curvalicious, always choose a two-piece swimsuit. Save the one-pieces for grandma.

November 18, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In The UK

Forget the Costa del Sol, it’s time to embrace Costa del Brighton. For too long, too many people have ignored the UK as a holiday destination. Why they have done so remains a complete mystery, but it’s time for a change. Here are just seven reasons you should ignore those foreign places and keep it British.

1. Active Pursuits. Our changeable and unreliable weather is the butt of many jokes, but let’s be honest, not everyone wants to lounge around on a beach in 30+ degree heat every day. Especially when you have a German eyeing up your sun lounger. All too often, when you go abroad you just end up sitting on the beach or by the pool in an attempt to keep cool. This is fine if doing nothing is what you had in mind, but if you want to be active and explore your surroundings, this can be quite limiting. There’s only so long you can go on a tour of the hotel reception before it gets a bit same-y. So take a look at a UK holiday; you may be surprised at the wealth of activities on offer. You might not have noticed, but we even have one or two beautiful, award winning beaches of our own.

2. Dizzy Heights. If you are one of the many people who don’t like flying, jetting off on a foreign holiday may very well be your idea of hell. Wherever you are in the UK, you are never far from a superb tourist destination. Coastal cottages in the West Country, in the south or in the Scottish Highlands allow you to get away from the stresses of home life without having to travel for hours upon hours.

3. Greenery. Holidaying in the UK is greener. And we don’t mean just the grass: consider your carbon foot print. It is estimated that the vast number of commercial flights each year are pumping 600 million tonnes of carbon dioxide directly into the atmosphere. By around 2020, air travel is expected to be the single biggest contributor to global warming. Basically, what we’re saying is, if you don’t go on holiday in the UK, you are killing your grandchildren.

4. When Is A Bargain A Rip-Off? You may have noticed that, financially speaking, times are hard in the UK at the moment. Air travel can be expensive but you will also need to take into account the exchange rate. It is no good bagging a bargain abroad if you find that everything is so expensive that you can’t go out. You’ll have to stay in your room and watch Sky News all day.

5. All In The Chalet Together. Holidaying here in the UK and spending your hard earned cash in our towns and cities is good for our economy. In 2010, David Cameron suggested that the UK has been drastically underselling itself as a tourist destination. At a conference in London, Mr Cameron urged more Brits to holiday in the UK, emphasising that tourism is “one of the best and fastest ways of generating the jobs we need so badly in this country”. And, just for the sake of political balance, Ed Miliband has just this week said he had a lovely time in Liverpool – bar the power cuts. So there we go. Agreement across the political spectrum.

6. Familiarity Breeds Content. Familiarity can be an important factor for those wishing to stay in the UK. If you enjoy good old English meat and two veg, an English fry up for breakfast, the occasional fish and chip supper or a battered Mars bar, then you can’t go far wrong here.

7. Sprechen Sie The Lingo. Unless you’re going to Glasgow, there will be no need for a phrase book every time you want to buy something or order in a restaurant. So for something truly British, look at one of the many coastal cottages available throughout the UK at Sykes Cottages.

If you usually holiday abroad but you are considering staying the UK for a change or for one of the reasons above, then you may very well find yourself surprised. The UK has so many stunning destinations. With a little research you should be able to find the perfect place and you may very well end up wondering why you’ve been bothering to go abroad every year.

October 2, 2011
7 Reasons To Get A Winter Beach Body

It’s the summer, and chances are that, right now, your thoughts are turning to holidays, with all of the indolent ease, languor and sheer carefree bliss that they entail. Unless you’re standing in a branch of WH Smith and gazing at a magazine stand consisting of dozens of covers featuring airbrushed pictures and article titles such as “How To Get The Perfect Summer Beach Body”, in which case you’re probably experiencing something akin to terror. But don’t panic, you don’t need the “perfect summer beach body” for your holiday; in fact, it’s infinitely inferior to the winter beach body. Here are seven reasons why.

1. A Winter Beach Body Is A Safer Option. And safety in the sea is important. When I was a svelte child, learning to swim, one of the things that all of my friends and family spent many hours teaching me to do was float. “It’s simple”, they would say, “you just stretch your arms and legs out and relax”, and then they’d just lie there, on top of the sea. Then it would be my turn: I’d stretch my arms and legs out, relax, and soon I’d find myself floating serenely. To the bottom of the sea. I would sink like a stone every time. But if you have a winter beach body, you’ll be difficult to sink and, should you get into trouble and find yourself floating away from the shore, you’ll be easier to spot from the beach or a helicopter. Your chances of surviving your beach holiday will be manifestly better than those of summer-bodied people.

2. A Winter Beach Body Makes A Statement. Getting a summer beach body is easy, anyone can do it. But getting a winter beach body takes a considerable investment of time and money and requires technology too. You can use it to flaunt your wealth and status. What does your winter beach body say about you? A winter beach body says that you can afford to dine well; a winter beach body says that you’re a car owner; a winter beach body says that you live somewhere modern festooned with lifts and escalators; a winter beach body says that you can afford twice as much suntan oil as anyone else on the beach; a winter beach body says that you might own a Segway. A winter beach body signifies affluence and ease.

3. A Winter Beach Body Is Practical. You might be holidaying in Britain and for that, a winter beach body is the better option. On British beaches, where people consume ice cream to warm themselves up, you’ll at least stand half a chance of not dying of hypothermia or exposure. What’s the last question that any family in the UK asks before they head off to the beach? “Have you remembered to pack the blanket”? In this country, insulation is most important thing that you can take to the beach. Winter beach bodies have more of that, built-in.

4. Getting A Winter Beach Body Is More Fun. You don’t need to starve yourself or drink eight litres of water a day to get a winter beach body. You won’t have to visit a gym either, unless you’re going there to use the horizontal bar (the one with the bottles on it). You won’t have to spend the months leading up to your holiday eating only beetroot during daylight hours (except for every second Tuesday, which is miso soup day) and you’ll never, ever have to eat celery.

5. A Winter Beach Body Requires Less Hair Removal. As the possessor of a winter beach body you’ll be less inclined to wear a bikini made from a shoelace or a pair of budgie smugglers so small that they can barely contain your budgie. This means that there’ll be less hair removal, which is good as hair removal is the most painful experience known to man (and the second most painful known to woman). I would sooner break my fingers with a piano lid than tweeze a nose hair, let alone pluck one from down there, beneath my trousers. A winter beach body means less pain. Or fewer pain, to be correct about it.

6. A Winter Beach Body Frees You From The Beach. With a winter beach body, you might find that you’ll want to spend less time on the beach, away from all of those preening show-offs. This is brilliant, as no one actually likes the beach. It’s uncomfortable, being made of either stones (which hurt) or sand (which chafes). It’s boring, as the number of people busy ignoring it and burying their noses in their books demonstrates and it’s frustrating, as your chips will be stolen by a seagull. If you spend less time on the beach, you’ll have more fun, and you’ll get to eat all of your chips yourself. Unless you’re a man. Your winter beach body will liberate you from the beach.

7. It’s Too Late To Do Anything Else. Having blithely ignored every magazine at the supermarket checkout and every other daytime television programme telling you how to get the perfect summer beach body for the past five months or so, there’s very little time left. This is good, as getting a winter beach body is quick and easy. It won’t be the perfect summer beach body as depicted in magazines (which are only ever perfect in the mind of the beholder, and never in the mind of the owner), but it’ll be your body. Take it to the beach and enjoy yourself, or even better, take it away from the beach and enjoy yourself. Oh, and don’t read magazines.*

*Do, however, read websites.

July 22, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In Bonnie Scotland

Today we welcome back to the 7 Reasons sofa a man who hasn’t plumped up our cushions for quite a while. He’s a man some of you will know as Dr Beat. He’s a man others will know as Percy Jennifer. He’s a man the rest of us know put the ‘best’ into Gillette. That’s right. Ladies and gentleman the waiting is finally over. Back to the sofa, please welcome, Dr Simon Best.

Simon says: It is fast approaching the most popular holidaying month of the year (here in England anyway). Yep, it’s nearly August. Currently there’s a fashion for the ‘staycation’, many people are bored of the Balearics and fed up of Faliraki. For them then, the answer is simple. Go to Scotland. Here are seven reasons you should holiday there, especially if you live in England.

1. It Is Further From France. By sheer accident of geography England is closer to France than Scotland. This is clearly a huge point in Scotland’s favour. Regular readers of 7 reasons will know that the usual occupants of the sofa are no fans of France. One prefers Belgium and the other would prefer an open sewer – however he lives close enough to France that if he fell asleep on the 7 reasons sofa after one too many biscuits and was pushed out to sea he could float there in time for tea, as could most of Kent. This is clearly a danger to be avoided. If you holiday in Scotland you will be further from France.

2. Climate. Now you might raise an eyebrow at this as Scotland is not famed for its glorious weather and high temperatures. When I visited recently I saw sun for about two hours in an entire week, but in when you go on holiday certainty is important. You also need to be efficient in your packing and not take anything you won’t need. The Scottish climate helps no end with this. You can be certain that you won’t need shorts and you will always need a coat or if you wait until September, two coats. It is also always too windy for an umbrella which is a very good thing.

3. Scenery. Scottish scenery is quite simply breathtaking. It has everything you could want in a landscape: coastline, lochs, mountains, rolling lowlands. It is home to some wonderful wildlife: deer, beavers, eagles, wolves, bagpipers, men in kilts. Even in cities beautiful countryside is close at hand – with Arthurs seat in Edinburgh, and Pollock Country Park in Glasgow.

4. Cuisine. Scotland has a reputation as the home of unhealthy food. Chips, deep fried Mars bars, deep fried pizza, deep fried haggis, etc. This, however, is unfair. Firstly they deserve points for culinary innovation. Anyone can do a Heston Blumenthal and make egg and bacon ice cream, but taking a chocolate bar and deciding to fry it coated in a substance commonly used for battering fish requires a rare mind. Secondly, Scotland is also home to some fine produce. Salmon, Loch Fyne oysters, the finest Italian ice cream I’ve tasted outside of Rome. Okay, so you may gain weight, but if you can’t indulge when on holiday then when can you.

5. Money. One of the best things about going abroad on holiday is foreign currency. Getting funny coloured banknotes with odd people on them. It’s a trip highlight in itself. Obviously it does bring with it difficulties. Trying to do conversions in your head and accidentally tipping €50 for example. If you head to Scotland though, you get all the different colours, the different people, the odd foreign symbols, but none of the mathematical problems. Scotland is genius.

6. Midges. Scotland is famed for its midges – especially the West coast where they take over in summer in their millions. They like damp, overcast days, so no wonder they like Scotland in the summer. Visit the West of Scotland in July and you can see a lifetimes worth of midges in under a minute. Midges are horrible, bloodthirsty little creatures – literally. So why am I presenting it as a positive? Well, the main way to protect yourself from getting bitten (aside from walking round inside a net) is to drink lots of whisky and eat lots of marmite. Perfect. If you ever needed an excuse to drink industrial quantities of whisky and eat vast amounts of marmite then holidaying in Scotland is it.

7. Culture. Ever since the Scottish enlightenment (yes, it really did happen and no, it didn’t involve Billy Conolly and Rab C Nesbit), Scottish culture has led the way in Britain. While England was home to the Teletubbies, Scotland gave us the infinitely superior Balamory. When England was producing the Spice Girls, Scotland produced Belle and Sebastian. Look around the world of television, cinema, comedy, music and you see lots of brilliant, talented Scots. And Frankie Boyle.

Scotland also hosts the biggest cultural event anywhere in the United Kingdom: the Edinburgh Festivals (note the plural, there are seven of them). These are a showcase for authors, filmmakers, comedians and musicians. Okay, not all of the performers in Edinburgh are Scottish, but the diversity means that no matter where you’re on holiday from there will be something that reminds you of home. And Frankie Boyle.

July 16, 2011
7 Reasons That Postcards Should Be More Honest

Postcards. They’re not honest enough. Here are seven reasons why.

1. Blackpool. This is what a holiday in Blackpool actually looks like. I’ve been there. Many times. Other postcards may not show this, but forewarned is forearmed.

2. Bondi Beach. Sending a postcard from Australia, where it’s nice and warm and sunny you’re having a good time is ostentatious and likely to cause the recipient a pang of envy. Negate the envy by showing the reality. That you’re being eaten by a shark. Or a crocodile. Or a spider.

3. Welwyn Garden City. If the postcard isn’t honest, the recipient might get a false impression of a destination and may choose to visit it themselves. This would be a mistake.

4. Slough! You don’t want to get people’s hopes up about what they can expect as a present. Unless you show the iconic local product on your postcard, they might expect all sorts of exotica: A sombrero; a stuffed donkey; a bottle of wine in a wicker basket; an owl. You need to let them know that they aren’t getting any of these things.

5. The Natural History Museum. Or, you can subvert an entire genre of postcards and send this. That should make the recipient nervous until your return.

6. Yorkshire. You don’t want the recipient to feel as if they’re missing out on lots of sunshine, warmth and an exotic climate. Let them know what the weather’s really like where you are.

7. Candour. Ever wondered why the sender always returns from holiday before the postcard? Well wonder no more. It’s because they don’t care enough about you.

November 17, 2010