7 Reasons

Tag: Relationship

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Do Your Research When Online Dating

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Do Your Research When Online Dating

    There are over 7 million singles in the UK looking for a long-term relationship, many of whom turn to online dating to find a partner. Online dating can be a great way of finding somebody you share things in common with, but it is important to do your research both on the website you choose as well as on the people you talk to. Here are 7 reasons why…

    7 Reasons To Do Your Research When Online Dating

    1.  They could be bending the truth. Some people just can’t resist the urge to be economical with the truth on their internet dating profiles. It’s generally about small things, like certain interests, weight, and sometimes people shed a few years off their age. This is because of the tension between the desire to be truthful and also give the best impression. If it´s just a minor lie, be understanding – after all, your profile may not have been totally honest either. However, some may use the anonymity of online communities to deceive you, so stay savvy.

    2.  They could be unfit for dating. Some people may be slightly troubled, whether that is because of a bad break-up or family issues. This may come across in their profile and when you talk to them – if it does, go with your instinct and tell them you´re not interested. Sometimes, if somebody comes across as fragile, it can be an attractive quality, as you might want to help them get better, but it is often the case that they have to do this for themselves. If somebody appears to be completely off their rocker – stay well away!

    3.  They may be related. You know that awkward moment at a family wedding when you accidentally kiss a third cousin or –gulp – someone from an even closer branch of the family tree? Well, before you start sending flirty messages to someone, just make sure they´re not in any way related or, perhaps just as bad, an ex.

    4.  They may be attached. Some people on dating websites are actually in a relationship. It is always worth doing some research on somebody for this reason, as the internet can provide a good cover for people and it can be difficult to know if somebody is lying. Do a background check – type their name into Google and Facebook and see what comes up. If you suspect they might not be genuine, ask them straight out.

    7 Reasons To Do Your Research When Online Dating

    5.  They aren´t looking for long term. Before you get all excited about someone who seems promising, make sure they´re looking for the same thing as you. Not everyone is looking to commit, and some are scared of it, so check out their profile, ask them some questions and try to gauge what kind of place they´re in and what they want.

    6.  There is a Christian Grey or Lara Croft within an overweight, unemployed exterior. Hopefully not both at the same time… that would just be weird. They have potential – they´re sweet and kind – if only they would eat less, exercise more and get a job. That’s where you come in on your white horse. If only human relationships could be a simple matter of asking: ‘do you think you will change or become more interesting?’ And the other person would answer: ‘no’. That would be great, wouldn’t it? Instead, you could be a little less direct and just try to gauge their personality – if they seem motivated and positive they may be willing to change.

    7.  They are boring. These people bang on and on about a whole lot of nothing. They aren’t interested in anything except themselves. Their narcissism knows no end. If they don’t ask questions about you or seem interested in you online or on the first date, stay right away. On some dating websites people answer interesting, stimulating questions and give awesome answers. There’s no time in life to be boring so if you´re after singles with originality and flair, click here.

  • 7 Reasons That Love is Important

    7 Reasons That Love is Important

    It’s Valentine’s Day!!!  On Monday.  Apologies for any panic we may have caused there, but the 7 Reasons team have decided to jump the gun and celebrate St Valentine’s Day prematurely.  Because we’re lovesick.  Well, one of us is in love and that just makes the other one feel sick, but that’s near enough.  So, in honour of the patron saint of pink stuff everywhere, here are seven reasons that love is important.

    A pink heart

    1.  Make Love Not War. It’s a tired expression, but – short of a nuclear missile – love really is the one thing that can end conflict. For good. We are not interested in truces. Like a dirty weekend in a Travelodge outside of Leeds, it won’t last. Real love means complete acceptance of what others believe and how they choose to live. A marriage of acceptance if you like. Not that I’m suggesting we should accept or indeed make love to radical extremists. That would be extreme. And quite dangerous if their grenades are dangling above your head. If you do find yourself in this situation we suggest you wear a helmet. Just in case.

    2.  Passion. That’s what love is really. Whether it’s passion for your partner or passion for your team or passion for passion fruit, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that you feel something for something. Because it’s those feelings that keep us alive. Without emotion we’d be robots. And if you read yesterday’s post you’d realise that’s not a good thing.

    3.  Compromise. I guess I got lucky. The person I fell in love with also loves what I love. No, not myself. Sport. Which means we don’t have to do the, ‘You can watch Eastenders all week so long as I can watch the rugby all weekend,’ thing. Claire gets to watch Eastenders and the rugby and I get to do the ironing and watch the rugby. But we know we are in the minority. Other people really do have to compromise. And while it may mean missing England beat Wales, you do it because you’re in love. And I admire that. I admire it because I couldn’t do it. Which is why I told Claire before we even started dating that watching England play cricket or rugby comes before anything else in my life. A year later I still haven’t missed a game. And that just makes me love her even more.

    4.  Inspiration.  Throughout human history, love has acted as a spur, a stimulus, a motivational factor in many of mankind’s greatest accomplishments.  The life’s work of Thomas Aquinas; Shelley’s One Word is Too Often Profaned; Shah Jahan’s construction of the Taj Mahal, the historical examples of great works inspired by, and created out of love are almost boundless.  Essentially, if we didn’t have love, we’d still be slimy-fish creatures or animal-bothering Neanderthals living in caves or swamps or our own poo or something.  But thanks to love, most of us aren’t.

    5.  Tennis. I don’t think anything in the world explains love better than a tennis match. As I am sure you are aware, ‘love’ in tennis is the equivalent of zero. Zilch. Nothing. In other words, it is valueless. And that is what love outside of tennis is too. You can’t put a value on love. Unless you are in Amsterdam. Though between you and me I don’t think ten minutes* with a Dutch girl called Helga really counts. Love is the most valuable commodity in life and yet it is free. I have always thought that is a rather wonderful intricacy. We pay our taxes so that the NHS and the Police are there for us when we need them, but the people who are there for us when we don’t need them are free.

    6.  Popular Song.  If it weren’t for the eternally prevalent theme of love, pop music would be wholly different.  There’d be no Renée and Renato’s Save Your Love, there’d be no Yummy Yummy Yummy I Got Love in my Tummy by Ohio Express, and there’d be no When We Collide by Matt Cardle.  This might initially seem like a spectacularly good anti-love argument, but it’s quite the reverse, because when repugnant, saccharine dross like this is being played, you might just find that across a crowded room, someone else is also covering their ears with their hands and bellowing, “What is this shit!?”  And at that moment, your eyes may meet, and that’s when you’ll find true love.  And all because of love songs, which really do begat love.  However circuitously.

    7.  Emotional Intensity.  Love – and this is important in these straitened economic times – is free.  Your other half loves you because you’re you, not because of what you can give them.  Love – true love – transcends the baser human tendency toward being fiscally and materially acquisitive in favour of devotion to and acceptance of another person; no matter what their circumstances or their idiosyncrasies.  When you have found your true soul-mate you will have found unconditional acceptance.  Which is why my other half is going to love her Valentine’s Day card this year, no matter how much it cost.

    A Valentine budget card from Tesco
    She's gonna love this.

    *Okay, two and a half.**

    **This never happened.***

    ***Well, it probably did to someone exciting.

  • 7 Reasons foursquare And I Are Over

    7 Reasons foursquare And I Are Over

    If you have been a reader of 7 Reasons for a while now, you may remember that at the beginning of August, I (that’s me, Jon) decided to sign up to the new social media kid on the block that is foursquare. It didn’t start too well and as you may recall I predicted foursquare and I were going to have a tricky relationship. Now, I’m sure you’ve been wondering how on earth we are getting on. Well, seven weeks on, we catch up with myself and foursquare to find out.

    7 Reasons foursquare and I Are Over

    1.  Neglect. To be fair, there has been little contact or indeed effort from either party. I haven’t logged into my foursquare account once since I joined and foursquare hasn’t once bothered emailing me to ask why I have not logged into my account since I joined. Evidently we both have better things to do with our time. I certainly do. Playing with my hair etc.

    2.  Affair. We both had one. In fact, for the past seven weeks I have been having regular threesomes with twitter and facebook. They seem to like it and I feel strangely clean about the whole thing, so it’s win win. You may have a different point of view, but before you judge me and accuse me of being dirty, may I remind you that foursquare has three million users plugged into her. Potentially all at the same time.

    3.  Financial Resentment. It’s not that fact that I mind foursquare being worth $80 million – which on latest calculations is just quite a way over $79 million more than I am – it’s the fact that they flaunt it. ‘Woohoo!’ they shout. ‘Come and invest in me!’ There is just no need for it. I don’t go running up and down the street shouting, ‘Woohoo! Come and pay off my student loan!’ do I? No, I don’t. I’d get some very funny looks from some very funny looking cats.

    4.  Bullying. This one is on me. I put the foursquare app into my iPhone social media folder – yes, I have one of those because I am a hipster – and then I teased it. By this I don’t mean I played hide and seek with it – although I suppose I did in a way everytime I put my phone in my pocket – but I kept hovering my finger over it and then chose twitter or facebook instead. Did I feel bad? Not really. The foursquare icon never said, ‘Touch me baby’. Aesthetically speaking.*

    5.  Nagging. Not by me. But by foursquare. It forever wanted to know where I was. ‘What are you doing? Where are you doing it? Why are you doing it? How are you doing it? Oooh, I wouldn’t have done it like that’. Just shut up and go away. This is my life and I will do whatever I like, where I like it, for seven of my own reasons, in a manner I feel happy with. Unless my girlfriend or my mum tell me otherwise.

    6.  Sexual Incompatibility. I won’t go into this too much, but I was rubbish. To be honest, my heart wasn’t in it. And, if it was, I’d have been doing it very, very wrong indeed. I know that much.

    7.  Realisation. Mark Zuckerburg. You know the guy, he created that facebook thing. Last week his company opened up the world of ‘places’ for all facebook users. So now we can tell all of our ‘friends’ just where we are. As a result I now know when friend A is at work, when friend B is on the platform at a certain train station and when friend C is on the toilet. Quite frankly, this is all too much information. And it is exactly the kind of thing foursquare specializes in. As disappointing as this will sound, the truth is, I really don’t care where you are or what you’re doing – unless you owe me a lot of money. And to be honest, I only have time not to care once. Consequently I have decided not to care via the medium of facebook and thus shall be shutting my foursquare account down with immediate effect.

    *My finest oxymoron yet.