Tag: Life

Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why People Still Wear Watches When They Have A Phone

Billions of people around the world have a mobile phone or have access to a mobile phone and according to a report from the U.N. 6 of the world’s 7 billion people have access to a mobile phone while only 4.5 million people have access to a toilet. That says a lot about the society we live in.

1. Exercise. People these days are starting to go running more often and the amount of money that it costs these days to buy a phone that will keep a track of your route while you’re out on a run and your pace, it’s a lot of money to just drop it and break it.

That’s why running watches are so popular these days. They’re a fraction of the cost of a smart phone and they do everything that you need whilst out on a run and there’s no worries about dropping it and breaking it, it’s strapped to your watch so it’d have a job!

2. Fashion. These timekeeping devices are somewhat a staple in any fashionista’s ‘diet’ and they’re also an ideal way to sort of round-up and bring together an outfit by adding that finishing touch.

In terms of fashion with watches, it isn’t as much about the fact that you have the time on your wrist as it is that it’s about what the watch signifies.

3. Polite. As we explained in the opening paragraph, there are 6 billion people in the world who own a mobile phone yet, as common as it is to be seen on your phone these days there are still some people out there who are a tad more traditional and can be easily put off by the amount of time people spend on their phone.

You could be out for a nice dinner and chatting away nicely until someone just pulls out their phone and “checks the time” you can probably presume that they’re looking for a way out of the conversation.

For this reason, it’s better, and handier if you have a watch. So if you do just want to “check the time” you just need a flick of the wrist. However, if you do want to get out of the conversation then you always have the back up of your phone!

4. Conserve Battery Life. This has a double-barrelled meaning. Yeah, you’d be saving your phone’s battery life if you just left it in your pocket but you’d also be saving your own battery life.

The biggest thing though is that you’ll waste your phone’s battery life. Also, if you genuinely are just looking at the time on your phone then there’s a chance that someone has tweeted you, emailed you or even Facebook-ed you. Then, that leads to you spending more time on your phone and then wasting more of your battery life.
It’s just easier to have a watch on, like we said previously, it’s just a flick of the wrist if you’ve got a watch.

5. Your Job. There’s a number of different professions out there that probably wouldn’t be ideal for someone to be sat checking the time on their phone so, that’s why it’s great to have a watch. Could you imagine if you went to see a psychologist and they were sat there on their mobile phone.

There’s a number of different professions out there that actually make a massive use of watches, like the medical profession as it’s certainly frowned upon to be talking to your doctor or a nurse and they’re on twitter on their phone. It’s just rude. Sometimes, it’s a good job that watches are still in use.

6. Weatherproof. Depending on where you live will depend on the kind of watch you need. If you’re lucky and you live near a beach then you’re definitely going to be inclined to get a watch to wear. Let’s face it; there’s not many, if any, mobile phones these days which are too compatible with the elements that make up a beach.
The heat can also cause your phone to overheat and malfunction and with the price of smartphones these days, the last thing you want to happen is for your phone to break.

Of course, there’s sand too at the beach which everyone knows can get in all sorts of annoying places! Moving on from the beach, it rains everywhere in the world and if you’re caught out with your phone out, ‘just checking the time’ you could end up regretting not buying a watch!

7. Health Reasons. We all know how ‘Health & Safety’ mad the world has gone and there’s numerous studies out there to show how using your mobile phone for x-number of hours a day or days a week can cause x, y or z problems to you.

None of these things are ever spoken about when it comes to watches. You don’t hear about people getting brain tumours from using their watch too much, or wrist tumours from wearing it too much. So, if you do get a watch, just keep reminding yourself that you’re not doing any damage to yourself by using that instead of a brand new mobile phone.

This article has been provided by the Watch Supermarket team. If you want a brand new watch at a great price then why don’t you check out our range?

August 2, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Brits Love Pets

If you’re one of the millions of households with a pet, you’ll be able to vouch for us when we say that we’re a nation of animal lovers.

Pets are a big part of family life, but they come at a cost as this infographic ‘The Real Cost Of Owning A Pet’ from Baines & Ernst shows.

Getting a pet is of course a big financial commitment, but if it is one you can afford, it’s more than rewarding.

Here are 7 reasons why Brits love animals…

1. They’re always pleased to see you. When you’ve had a long day, having a friendly face waiting for you at home can be a real tonic. Unlike a human partner, there’s no nagging about being late or sulking because you shouted at them this morning. Your four legged friend is just delighted to see you. And even if you go out of the room for a moment, you are guaranteed a similarly rapturous response on your return – your very own furry fan club.

2. They love you no matter what. Your pet sees you at your worst – first thing in the morning, last thing at night and all those times when you’ve worked yourself up over something ridiculous. And besides, who else would be willing to ignore your habit of sitting on the sofa in your underwear and cutting your toenails into an old pizza box?

3. They won’t spill your secrets. You know what it’s like – you’re given a piece of juicy gossip but are sworn to secrecy…. and immediately your lips start burning with the desire to tell someone. Chatting to your pet about what you have been told doesn’t count – and unlike spilling the beans to another person, there’s no risk they will slip up and drop you in it. Unless you have a talking dog, then let’s face it… you’ll make millions.

4. They stop you being lazy. You really should go to the gym but it’s cold outside and you would rather curl up on the sofa and relax. However, you have to take your furry friend for his evening walkies and there’s no escaping it, so off you go for your daily dose of exercise, whether you like it or not!

5. They’re a constant source of amusement. Sometimes it’s the simplest things that can make you smile, even if they have made you laugh countless times before. It’s difficult not to be amused at the sight of a cat going wild on cat nip or a dog chasing the reflection of a laser torch. And if your own pet is being boring, well, there’s always You Tube. Wonder whatever happened to Fenton…

6. You’re never short of company. Pets always make great company so it’s hard to feel like you’re alone with a pet in your life. They’re there from the moment you get up to when you go to bed. They’ll never complain that Match of the Day is on or if you’ve already seen that episode of Friends a million times before. Dogs will go out walking with you for hours, while cats will curl up next to you when you need a cuddle. They really are quite awesome.

7. There’s always someone else to blame for the smell. Pretty self explanatory… always useful! BAD DOG!

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January 22, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Relationship Is Doomed

Feel like you’re in a relationship that’s going south quickly? Get that sinking feeling every time you wake up next to your partner and realize they’re still there? You may be in a doomed relationship. There are many things that make a relationship go from sweet to sour: from trust issues to communication difficulties, here are seven reasons it’s time to call it quits.

1. The green-eyed monster. Jealousy rears its ugly head in almost all human relationships. But sometimes it becomes an overpowering emotion, threatening to destroy even the most solid partnerships. If you feel pangs of envy every time your partner gets a text, or goes out for a night ‘with the guys’, this may be a sign that jealousy is ruling your relationship.

2. Picking fights. I have friends – a couple – who are almost always fighting. They’re constantly bickering about who left the lights on or who forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. No matter who they’re with, or what they’re doing, they’re always nitpicking ─ constantly trying to get ‘one up’ on each other. It’s exhausting for them, and for everyone around them. They claim to love each other deeply but it would appear they love fighting with each other more.

3. Too much time alone… If you feel like you never see your partner; like one of you is always leaving as the other comes home, then perhaps your relationship is falling apart because you’ve forgotten how to be with your partner. If you don’t make time to spend with one another – time other than sleeping or watching TV silently on the couch – your relationship can’t grow.

4. …and too much time together. Perhaps you’re feeling suffocated by spending too much time with your partner. Maybe you begin every sentence with “We…” instead of “I…”. Maybe you spend every moment you’re not together texting each other gross, overly affectionate texts that say “Miss you honeybear”. If any of these sound familiar, maybe you need to get some hobbies, or get out more.

5. You hate each other’s friends. There’s always one person in your partner’s circle of friends who’ll rub you the wrong way. Maybe it’s the tacky girl who keeps asking when he’s going to put a ring on it, or that douchey guy who stares at your boobs. But if you can’t find a way to get along with anyone of each other’s friends, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. (Or get new friends.)

6. It’s not working in the bedroom. You can’t fake chemistry. If you and your partner are having troubles in the bedroom, it may be because you’re not communicating. Or it may just be because your lover doesn’t know what he or she is doing. While most couples won’t have truly equal sex drives, being in a relationship should be a good guarantee that you’ll get some action at least once in a while. If that’s not happening, it may be time to pack your bags.

7. You want totally different things. You may find yourself in a relationship that has all the chemistry and passion of a Hollywood movie, but little of the companionship and compatibility that defines a great, long-lasting relationship. And you may just find yourself wanting totally different things than your partner – whether it’s more kids or more romance.

There’s nothing wrong with admitting that it’s just not working. And for your next relationship, try to aim for compatibility over chemistry. Using an online dating service like eHarmony Canada means that you can browse the profiles of people with whom you really connect.

October 10, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Pack It All In And Travel The World

It’s a lovely idea, isn’t it? Far-off places, beautiful beaches, different cultures. Freedom from the daily grind. Until, that is, all the reasons why you shouldn’t pack it all in and travel the world race into your mind to stamp on your embryonic daydream. If you’re not so terrified that you’ve stopped reading altogether, here’s 7 reasons to resuscitate your dream.

1. Britain’s too expensive… I live in Germany and every time I meet someone who has visited Britain, I hear the same complaint: it’s soooo expensive! Imagine living there, I tell them. The cost of living is going up, while pay is being cut or frozen. It’s a simple equation: Brits work more and pay more and in the end we receive less. Think about that.

2. Britain’s too, well, outraged… The endless stream of talent contests we’ve been subjected to over the last few years might have been a warm-up for the big bonanza, The London Olympics, but all this has been a brief interval in the favoured pastime of the British: moral outrage! If there were Olympic medals available for complaining, who would win all three? Yep, Team GB. Speaking as someone who has left the Iles of Wonder, I’ve found that other cultures deal with problems in different ways, but they all have one thing in common: a lot less complaining. It’s a relief to not feel so obliged to complain.

3. Who are The Jones’ anyway? We’re in a desperate race that begins the day we are born. First it was the right nappies, then it was the right lunchbox, then it was the right clothes. Before you know it, it’s the right phone, then the right car, the right mortgage for the right house in the right area, the right holiday destinations, the right schools for the kids, the right universities that we can’t really afford, the right pension policy (or to call it what it really is: the right amount to fund the endless gambling of those schmucks in The City), and before you know it, your final concern; the right sending off, which you won’t enjoy because you’re well on your way to becoming carbon, or catching the train to the afterlife – whatever you believe.

4. You might not be able to stay… More and more of us are facing the stark reality that jobs are scarce. It’s tough times in Britain and while you have worked hard for the moderate, yet comfortable life you lead, if you lose your job, getting another one in Blighty will be difficult. It’s in moments like these that the totally insane question of “What would I do if..?” can bring you life changing answers.

5. You can afford it, even if you think you can’t… Most of us think a round-the-world trip as a £10,000, or £20,000 adventure. It doesn’t have to be. Some people choose to save up enough to get them through the first couple of destinations. Once they arrive somewhere they like, they find work and build-up a pot of money to get them to the next couple of destinations and so on. Some choose freelance work, or teaching, while others choose to participate as healthy volunteers in paid clinical trials for organisations such as volunteers.gsk. The point is if the idea sounds better than the next series of Britain’s Got Talent, what are you waiting for?

6. A different perspective… Different cultures bring with them different perspectives, like how to cross the road in the opposite way (try it. It’s more thrilling than a shark dive!)

There are different etiquettes, like “We don’t pass the salt here; you’ll have to reach for it yourself.”

And finally, the stark and slightly terrifying realisation that the rest of the world is perfectly comfortable having sex without the aid of several glasses of wine/beer/vodka/gin/tequila/sambuca/a sickening mix of all six (delete as appropriate).

Immersion in other languages and perspectives will force you to grow in directions you never thought possible.

7. There’s more to life… There’s more to life than the daily commutes, sales targets, deadlines, council tax, plumbers who don’t turn up to fix your busted boiler, singing contests and your favourite latte from the cafe near the train station. There are even places on this planet where the sun actually shines, where people sit in the shade enjoying an unhurried cup of something pleasant, where the road is open and those who walk it will find out who they really are.

August 12, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Need Cake In Your Life

In a world where everyone is so image conscious, too many people keep going on about fruits, vegetables and balanced diets! How boring is that! There are so many reasons to relax every now and then and have the occasional piece of cake in your life. Here are just seven of them!

1. Scholars say that learning about history is good for you. Apparently, it helps to provide a sense of identity and improves your judgement and decision making. Did you know that the word cake comes from the Viking word Kaka? This means that cake has a long history! History is good for you, therefore you need cake!

2. Endorphins are hormones released by your brain which cause you to have happy feelings. Feelings of pleasure. Endorphins are also natural pain relievers. It has been scientifically proven that desserts like cake cause your brain to release endorphins! Endorphins make you feel happy and ease pain, so this is a very good reason to have more cake in your life.

3. Eating cake makes people feel happy. Happy people smile a lot. Smiling is good for you. It has been scientifically proven that a smile can help lower your blood pressure, relieve stress, boost your immune system, make you look younger, make you more attractive and can change your mood by releasing those happy chemicals called endorphins, which make you even more happy! And another thing, smiling is contagious! By having cake in your life, you will not only be helping yourself to be more happy, you will also be passing on your happiness to other people, by causing them to smile back at you! What better reason is there to have more cake in your life than that?

4. Cake makes people feel special! Everyone likes to feel special. You can even get personalised cakes made for your friends and family. You can put little messages on cakes. You can get a mini cake or a big cake personalised and sent as a gift to someone special. What better reason can you have for needing cake than to make someone else feel special?

5. Did you know that there are 490 calories in a Big Mac and 180 calories in the same amount of cake? You see, cake is better for you than a Big Mac!

6. All of the best nutritionists say that it is important to have balance in the diet. They say you should eat five fruits and vegetables a day because they help to keep your weight stable, they are high in fibre and they provide lots of vitamins and minerals which are good for you. Having cake adds the balance! Having some carrot cake or upside down pineapple cake adds to your five a day!

7. We have to celebrate the special events in life to give it meaning and to add joy. Birthdays, weddings, christenings, Christmas, Halloween, a promotion, a new job, all of these events and many others require celebration. You can not have a celebration without cake because that would just be boring.

So the moral to the story is that you need cake in your life!.

July 1, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Worship The Sun

1. It’s Got Super Powers. Before you say I’m mad, think of it like this: on a lovely summer’s day, no one looks directly at the sun for fear of going blind; therefore, it demands the respect of its subordinate underlings. And, if you’re vain enough to laze under its UV command all day long, it will punish your vanity with burns, peeling skin and a short life. Sounds a bit like a wrathful deity, right?

2. The Statistics. The centre of the sun is 15,000,000°C. It contains 99.9 % of all matter in the Solar System and a million Earths could fit inside it, with room to spare. It weighs 333,000 times more than the Earth, is at least 4.5 billion years old and resides 93,000,000 miles away- yet it can still burn your skin to a crisp. Boom.

3. It’s Just Another Star. You know when you look up on a clear night and see all of those fire-flies stuck up in that big blueish black thing? Well, Pumba was right, they are balls of gas burning billions of miles away, and our Sun is simply the closest one to the Earth.

4. It Giveth Life And It Taketh Life Away. Without our closest star, we would not be able to breath. Like, seriously, life on earth would be annihilated. I shouldn’t have to tell you about photosynthesis but, for the benefit of those who fell asleep in biology, here’s a very detailed scientific diagram.

5. Don’t Worry; Be Happy. Research has proven that sunshine produces an extremely important vitamin in humans. You know when the sun is shining and you feel like you could take on the world and nothing bad could ever happen again? That’s vitamin D coursing through your veins, and it’s very good for your well-being.

6. Be A Green Warrior And Save Dollar. If you invest in a roof light in your home, you could save money and lessen your carbon footprint. This is because skylights let lots of natural light into the room, reducing your need to use artificial lighting, reducing your bills, reducing your energy consumption and reducing your overall carbon emissions. Not to mention solar power, which gives you FREE electricity!

7. From Darkness Comes Dawn. Sunsets, sunrises, whichever you prefer. It is just so pretty.

May 22, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Aliens Will Never Visit Earth

Movies have been made and actual human lives have all been devoted to the prospect of aliens one day popping in to say “sup?” But let’s try to put some things into perspective for a minute. This is Earth. This isn’t some kind of Martian Cancun or some interstellar Mecca where everyone is just dying to meet us. This is just plain old, regular Earth, Terra Firma, Planet of the Hairless Apes.

It isn’t going to happen, people, sad as it sounds, and here are seven reasons why aliens aren’t interested in coming.

1. It’s A Little Out Of The Way. Let me ask you something – if you had tons of money, resources and the hottest, fastest ride, would you spend your time driving down to Detroit? God, no! You would go someplace exciting and interesting and full of life. What exactly are we near? What do we have to offer any alien species advanced enough to visit our tiny, obscure patch of the known universe? Religion? College Football? Copious amounts of unsold Big Mouth Billy Bass? No, any self-respecting extraterrestrial knows that Earth is simply not worth the trip.

2. We Have Nothing They Want. One thing is for sure, they aren’t traveling hundreds of thousands of light years to learn the secrets of our clear wire internet. This falls in line with the first reason, but it deserves to be discussed in a little more detail. Movies have been made about how aliens want to establish communication or even invade for our rich and unspoiled wilderness full of untapped resources and crystal clear waters. I guess these aliens have never sampled the fine H2O from the Chicago River nor had a look at the detritus strewn about Lancaster and its many closed mills. Do these aliens even know that China PAINTED their mountains green?! Of course they know. They’re aliens.

3. We Are Not That Interesting. When you get right down to it, we really aren’t. Just admit it. Oh yeah, sure, some dude can eat an entire shopping cart and some woman can almost pop the eyeballs out of her head but that’s about it. We spend more time on our phones living vicariously through other people who have probably had their left hands surgically replaced with a smartphone so they can twitter compulsively. Our highest form of entertainment used to be music. Now, it’s reality television. We watch “reality” television, about “real” people saying wacky and funny things as they live a “real” life. That is how we spend our weekends. We don’t spend them seeking communion with other beings, colonizing the moon or making the Earth less of a sty. Also, while we’re here, if reality television is so “real” then how come they have writers?

4. We Are A Danger To Ourselves And The Environment. If ancient astronauts ever came to Earth centuries ago, I suspect they would have a hard time finding anything remotely familiar. We have tirelessly spent our days as a civilization developing new weapons of war, systematically destroying the environment, and endeavoring to create the perfect hamburger – all because we can. You seriously think any emissaries of peace are going to want a piece of us or what we got going on? We are a powder keg.

5. Why Engage In Fruitful Communion With A Race That Gave The Green Light On A Movie Based On The Battleship Board Game? We are making a movie, based on a board game Hasbro-owned Milton Bradley invented and that people only pretend to have fond memories of. With the economic quagmire that is our lives being what it is, we are making a movie based on this board game with a budget of no less than $200 million. Do you have any idea what better use that money could have been put towards? Do you have any comprehension, as a human being, how many starving people you could feed with that kind of money for a year? I didn’t think so.

6. Actually, They Have Been Meaning To For Some Time But Aren’t Sure If We Will Still Be Around By The Time They Swing By. Do you know what our government does when we aren’t fighting for our lives from imminent commie threats, terror attacks and world wars? They spend their days creating robots that can use guns and developing the next great SUPER AIDS virus, purely for research purposes, I’m told. Aliens keep thinking they want to come on over but why waste the trip if we’re all dead by the time they get here?

7. They Know Better. Remember that old sci-fi trope where we as humans are like children to the aliens? It’s totally true. We are immature, petulant youths and the aliens know better than to let us leech off of them.

Author Bio: Brian is a writer who spends most of his time…uh…writing. When he isn’t spending his time fruitlessly staring up at the starry skies, he is writing both professionally and for pleasure.

February 21, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons For Buying Term Life Insurance

The world economy is in the toilet. It doesn’t take a financial planner to figure that out. One of the best ways to protect your family if you die is to buy life insurance. Now more than ever, people are purchasing life insurance to protect those they love in case they kick the bucket before their golden years. Yes, it’s true. Life insurance. It’s not just for busty blondes wedded to billionaires anymore. If you’re considering taking the plunge, you need to decide whether you’ll go for a term life policy or a different kind of plan. Here are seven reasons you should go for term life all the way.

1. Your Agent Can Shove The Commissions. If you find yourself in the ridiculously uncomfortable position of having life insurance quotes hurled at you by a sales agent while sipping tea in your living room, my condolences. If that insurance agent manages to convince you to opt for whole life instead of term, I urge you to bash your head against a wall repeatedly. Take your time, I’ll wait. Done? Great. On average, insurance agents get a few thousand in commission from selling you a whole life plan – compared to only a few hundred scored by signing you up for a term policy.

2. Universal Life Is Scary. The really scary thing about universal life is that no one really understands how it works. So let me try to break it down for you. Your premium goes into what’s known as the “bucket,” then the insurance company adds interest, the company takes out the insurance cost, which includes a mortality charge which increases the monthly expense and the administrative costs are taken out and divide by the profit and speculative… umm… did I lose you? Good, because I’m kind of confused myself. Let’s move on.

3. Whole Life Insurance Sucks. When you buy a whole life policy, you are responsible for paying a set premium – for the rest of your life. In return, you are handsomely rewarded with a paltry cash value. Guess what the company gets to do? Invest your money however they’d like and furnish you with almost no interest in return. Let’s hear it for getting your money’s worth!*

4. Term Life Insurance With No Exam Rocks. Let’s break it down to the morbid fundamentals. Life insurance companies like to place bets on when you’re gonna croak. They gather information about your health, well-being, your likelihood of jumping off a tall building, things like that. They take this information and plug it into a formula with average life expectancy information and the magic machine spits out the amount you’re going to have to cough up for coverage. If you buy term life coverage with no exam, then you cut out one more way they can up the price.

5. You Won’t Be Tempted To Pay Your Mortgage With Your Cash Value. With the crappy economy, many people are turning to the money accumulated in their whole life plan to pay the bills. While this may seem like an excellent solution in the short term, in the long run, it can equal financial meltdown. Term life plans don’t have a cash value you can borrow against, which effectively removes the temptation for the weaker among you. You know who you are.

6. You Never Have To Worry About Getting Hit By A Bus Again. Term life is great because you don’t have to stay up at night wondering what will happen if you die before you get old. Are you scared of getting into a plane wreck? Worry no more, you’re covered. Are you scared you might get hit by a taxicab while crossing the street on the way to work? How about being involved in a hot air balloon accident wearing nothing but your socks? I know, me too. Think about it all the time. If you have a term life plan, you can put those fears to bed once and for all.

7. Your Spouse Will Be Set If She Can Get Away With Poisoning You. Trouble in paradise? Well, with term life, you needn’t sweat it. Your wife will be well taken care of after she spikes your pancakes with antifreeze. That receptionist isn’t looking so hot now, is she?

* If your irony detector isn’t that sharp, let me translate: you’re getting screwed.

February 18, 2012
7 Reasons The Playground Is A Metaphor For Life

I’m sitting in the park. It’s August but it’s gloomy, dank and wet. There’s no one else around. The playground ahead of me is completely empty. I stare for a while. Thinking back to the days when it would have been acceptable for me to run over and jump on the swing. Then I realise something. I’m already on a swing. And a merry-go-round. And a see-saw. The playground ahead of me is just a metaphor for what we experience every day. Here’s why:

1. Swings. Back and forth, back and forth. Sometimes quick, sometimes slow. It’s just like commuting to and from work everyday. Or doing the school run. Sometimes we want it to speed up. To get us through the day. Sometimes we want it to slow down. So we can live the moment for longer. Most of all though, sometimes it makes us throw-up.

2. Slides. It takes time and effort to get to the top. For what? Just to slide straight back down to earth, on your backside, at twice the speed.

3. Merry-Go-Rounds. You go round and round and round in circles. Then you feel dizzy, have a lie down, get up and get back on. And we repeat this ridiculous lifestyle choice for eternity. We’re idiots.

4. See-Saw. Up and down, up and down. All while some git tries to make you fly off and smash your head on the concrete floor. Well, it was concrete in my time. It’s probably wood-chippings now. It’s health and safety gone mad.

5. Climbing-Frame. It doesn’t matter which route you take, the view from the top is always the same – usually some bloke with his tongue down your girlfriend’s throat behind the cricket pavilion.

6. Monkey Bars. You pull yourself up, you think you look cool and then your pants fall down. You lower yourself and realise your pride hurts only slightly more than your biceps.

7. Sand Pit. It’s pretty standard. You make your castle only for some twat to come along and kick it to smithereens. Good name for a 1960s band that, The Smithereens. I was so after my time.

September 14, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Facebook Is The Worst Thing To Happen To You

Today’s 7 Reasons guest post is brought to you by Jon Potter who works for Anicca Solutions, an online marketing agency. There are, according to Facebook, over 500 million people in the world with a Facebook account. That’s rather a lot. So many, in fact, you’d struggle to fit them in…anywhere. Even a Death Star or Tardis may have to admit defeat to that kind of number. So, you might say, a stupidly large number of people use Facebook, it must be pretty good, right? Wrong. Here are seven reasons why Facebook is the worst thing to ever happen to 500 million people.

1. Facebook Means Everyone Can See You. In A Creepy Way. Remember that weirdo you went on one date with and then never saw again? The one who kept a bottle of chloroform in their car and you assumed went to prison? Well, unless you’ve trawled through the complicated privacy settings on your Facebook account, they’re probably stalking you right now from their prison cell. Not a pleasant thought. But wait, it gets worse. Not only can they stalk you, but they can probably stalk your friends too. And your family. Yes folks, Facebook makes horror movies look more like documentary footage. Sure, everyone thinks they’re the plucky one who survives the entire film, but with 500 million other contenders out there, you’re almost certainly that nameless extra who dies at the beginning before the titles.

2. Facebook Sells Your Data. This has been said before and it might be a bit of a cheap shot. But, when it boils down to it, Facebook only exists in order to sell advertising based on the data you put in. They tell users ‘Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life.’ But you can detect a bit of sarcasm in that when you read their message to advertisers: ‘People treat Facebook as an authentic part of their lives, so you can be sure you are connecting with real people with real interest in your products.’

3. Facebook Does Not Obey The King. In 1968, the wise shaman of popular music, Elvis Presley, issued a stirring call for ‘a little less conversation, a little more action please’. The people ignored his call (though they dug his funky music) and he issued it again, from beyond the grave, in 2001. Facebook would do well to listen. By providing a stream of news items, wall posts, status updates and comments, Facebook gives users conversations in a way never seen before. Facebook demands conversation above all else. Facebook does not want you going outside, it does not want you going to see your friends, it does not want you talking to them on the phone. Facebook wants you at home, alone, ‘chatting’ over its instant messaging service, commenting on your friends’ updates, writing on their walls. This way lies idle madness. Listen to the King, go out and see your friends. Add some action to your conversation and talk over a game of soccer or a trip to the cinema.* Go forth and be social in a way which Facebook cannot comprehend. Stick it to the machine.

4. Facebook Is Like A Horrible Drug Addiction That Steals Your Face. No, not because it sucks up your time (which it does), or because you can’t stop checking your newsfeed (which you can’t), or because you find yourself still logging on at 3 in the morning the night before your big job interview (which you do). No, Facebook is like a horrible drug addiction because, no matter how hard you try, you can never leave. You may think you have left Facebook. You may not have gone near the site in years. But somewhere, deep within the Facebook system, there is your face. And next to your face is your name. And next to that, are all the thousands of other details you put on your profile in the first place. Y’see, like Hotel California, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave. Facebook will horde your details and won’t let you delete them. Even if you ask really nicely. No, really. You’re in there forever, baby.

5. Facebook Takes The Fun Out Of Having Friends. Imagine you didn’t know every microscopic detail of your friends’ lives. Imagine you didn’t know, for example, that Kevin ate noodles for lunch, Sandra watched the entire Godfather trilogy back to back last night, and Michael thinks Woody Allen is the best director since Edison built the first film studio. Imagine that you then go out for dinner with Kevin, Sandra, and Michael and you say ‘hey, what have you guys been up to?’ Imagine the surprise and delight you experience when you hear about their lives and you don’t know it already. This is the surprise and delight that Facebook is stealing from you. Shame on you, Facebook, shame on you.

6. Facebook Is Going To Lose Your Identity. Earlier this year, the Sony Playstation Network was hacked and lots of customers’ details stolen. Facebook is, to hackers after personal information, the mother ship. How much do you trust Facebook’s security? More or less than you trusted Sony’s? Yeah, thought so.

7. Facebook Causes Anxiety. Yes, it’s true. A recent report from psychologists at Edinburgh Napier University found that ‘there is a significant minority of users who experience considerable Facebook-related anxiety, with only very modest or tenuous rewards.’ Pressure stems from deleting unwanted contacts, pressure to be entertaining and inventive, or fears over using the correct etiquette for different ‘friends’. The question is, though, can you leave the site? Not only do Facebook keep your details, but according to the study, ‘Like gambling, Facebook keeps users in a neurotic limbo, not knowing whether they should hang on in there just in case they miss out on something good.’

*Don’t talk over the film. No one likes that.

September 10, 2011