7 Reasons

Tag: Humour

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons The Holiday Season Sucks

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons The Holiday Season Sucks

    If you’re feeling really festive, we mean really festive, then today’s guest post from Louise Tillotson probably isn’t the kind of thing you wanted to read over your lunch break. On the other hand, though, if you bat for Team Scrooge this is the kind of thing you’ll want to read and share and read and share and read and share… (repeat to fade).

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons The Holiday Season Sucks

    I like Christmas as much as the next person. Provided that person is, in fact, Scrooge. Bah humbug and all that…

    But honestly, I do enjoy the festive period to an extent. The act of going out in the cold, wrapped up warmly, spending my hard-earned savings on things I don’t have to find space for in my already cluttered home is, to me, one of the joys of Christmas.

    When you’re a grown-up, Christmas does kind of lose its appeal. But when you have kids of your own and see it through their eyes, it seems magical all over again.

    Sadly, what those little eyes don’t see are the niggly little annoyances that now seem to ruin the season just that little bit more each year. I’m talking about…

    1.  Christmas Cards. Every year we send flimsy bits of cardboard with awful pictures on them to people we never see or speak to throughout the year. And every year we get flimsy bits of cardboard with awful pictures on them given to us which we then have to display in our homes in case the giver happens to drop by. Which is unlikely seeing as we haven’t seen or spoken to them all year…

    2.  The Weather. Do a Google image search for ‘Christmas’ and you immediately get thousands of pictures containing snow-covered cottages, trees festooned with lights, and jolly-looking snowmen made out of the purest white snow. Now look out of your window. See the grey slush laying forlornly in the gutter, the crumpled lump of grey and yellow matter with a single carrot poking out at an odd angle, the few dimly lit bulbs hanging on for dear life to a wilting bush…Doesn’t the sight just fill your heart with winter joy? No, I didn’t think so.

    3.  Strange Bearded Men. I am of course referring to Santa Claus, Father Christmas or whatever you call him in your family. There’s just something vaguely creepy about taking your beloved little one to sit on the knee of a strange man and confide in him all their secret wishes for the season. Or more realistically; start to cry hysterically, scream for mummy and wet themselves.

    4.  Cold Food. Maybe it was just the way my mother cooked it, but I always think of Christmas dinner as being a lot of cold stuff covered with thick gravy. There’s obviously an art to getting four types of vegetable, three types of potato, turkey and stuffing to the same hot temperature at the same time…and my mother never mastered it. Our turkey dinners always consisted of freezing cold meat, red hot gravy and tepid everything else. Which probably wouldn’t be so bad but the turkey is always far too large and you end up having it with every meal for a week afterwards.

    5.  Mandatory Alcohol. And when I say alcohol I don’t mean the tasty stuff that you’d choose to drink if you were at the pub. I’m talking about stuff like Babycham, the “wine” parents buy when they want to get their offspring amusingly drunk; and Advocaat, which looks like runny custard and smells like it’s been drunk already. And woe betide you if you don’t want to drink – you’ll have a glass of this cheap plonk out of a box and damn well enjoy it!

    6.  Decorations. I don’t mind what people have inside their homes, as I don’t have to look at it. I’m talking about the stuff people decorate the outside of their homes with. As far as I can tell, there are two rules every outside decorator thinks they must obey: the lights must be the brightest you can find, and if they don’t flash and/or cause a hazardous distraction to drivers, you’ve not used enough. For preference, you should also create your own Nativity/Farm/North Pole with brightly lit animal structures too, for that added tackiness.

    7.  Presents. Last but not least, we come to the gifts. Your granny is probably delegated to trot out the old adage “giving is better than receiving” but honestly, I think it’s true. Only by not receiving gifts can we avoid having to pretend to love the hideous pair of socks a lazy uncle has bought you, or the bath salts which you just know will make you smell like the inside of a pensioner’s handbag. There’s only so long you can wear a fake smile and feign delightedness so as not to offend your well-meaning but utterly clueless relatives.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons You’re Always Broke

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You’re Always Broke

    For understandable reasons it’s been rather Christmassy on 7 Reasons as of late. And while today’s post isn’t exactly a festive post in itself, it may well be relevant when you reach the till with your basket full of presents. Don’t worry, though, while your loved ones might have to do with a sprig of holly and a set of firelighters this year, next year will be very different. All you have to do is read (and learn) from today’s guest post. And that’s not the most challenging thing you’ve ever been asked to do, is it?

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You're Always Broke

    These days, it’s easy to blame the government and the bankers for your financial woes, but the chances are you could make things a lot easier by making a few of your own changes. Think Money, which provides debt management and other financial solutions, offers its own ideas about why you might be struggling financially…

    1.  You’re An Impulse Buyer. It’s funny how supermarkets can make you forget half your shopping list and replace it with all those things you Didn’t Know You Needed. The problem with this is that you’ll still have to go back and buy the things you forgot, at which point you’ll end up buying another load of junk that should probably be banned from human consumption. The simple answer: write a shopping list, and stick to it.

    2.  You’re A Plastic Spender. Credit cards are one of those magical modern inventions that can make spending money so much simpler. The reason for that is that it doesn’t really feel like you’re spending money – and it might not actually dawn on you that you can’t afford your rent until your landlord starts hurling abuse through your letterbox.

    We’re not saying you should stop using your credit card altogether, but a bit of advance planning can’t hurt. Before you make that purchase, work out how much money you need for important stuff, like food.

    3.  You Never Budget. Planning out every last penny of your spending might seem a bit regimented, but if there’s one area in which you should give your inner anarchist a rest, it’s here. If you have bills to pay and food to buy, it really is a good idea to make sure you have enough money for those things before you start your next online shopping spree.

    It doesn’t have to be complicated – look at a few recent bank statements, add up all your essential living costs and make sure you put that money to one side at the start of each month.

    4.  You Hide Things From Your Significant Other. We’ve all done it: fearing the ire of our loved ones, we pretend our latest and greatest purchase cost a good 50% less than it actually did. This poses a multitude of potential predicaments, all of which confirm the old saying that ‘honesty is the best policy’.

    Scenario A: your partner, in the belief that your combined bank balance is a lot healthier than it actually is, goes out and spends yet more money, sending your account into the red.

    Scenario B: your partner becomes suspicious and checks the price online. You are sleeping on the sofa tonight.

    5.  Your Significant Other Is Hiding Things From You. Despite the punishment you may have received for your own spending mishaps, there’s every chance that your partner has probably done the very same thing more than once. And without watching the bank balance like a hawk, it’s very easy for these things to slip under the radar. So unless you’re willing to be completely honest with each other – and never buy anything you actually want ever again – it might be an idea to have a joint account for your bills and other living costs, and keep your own accounts for the things you don’t need.

    6.  You Drive Like A Maniac. It’s another thing most of us have been guilty of at one time or another: putting your foot down at the lights to get away quickly, or driving at 80mph on the motorway to get somewhere on time. Not only are these things against the law, they could also be adding a lot to your monthly fuel bill.

    Change gears when your engine hits 2,500 revs; brake gently; accelerate slowly. We won’t keep boring you with the tips you’ve probably heard (and ignored) a thousand times, but taking them on board could cut your costs by more than you think.

    7.  You Can’t Cook (Yet). Back when we all wore loin cloths, your life expectancy would be significantly lowered if you or someone in your family couldn’t cook, to say the least. These days, things are much easier: microwave food and take-aways mean a meal is never more than a few minutes away. Those foods may also hit your life expectancy, but a more pressing issue could be the effect on your bank balance.

    Buying fresh ingredients and making meals from scratch is usually cheaper, not to mention healthier. What’s more, it’s probably not as difficult as you think. Find some simple recipes online, learn to cook and see your finances improve.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Make Sure You Buy The Right Christmas Present

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Make Sure You Buy The Right Christmas Present

    Some years (Radley) I get it right, some years (B&Q) I get it wrong. Yet I never seem to learn. I still make the same mistakes and I suspect I shall continue to do so until I’ve got rid of all these spirit levels. (I thought they measured gin. They don’t.) Perhaps I can learn something from today’s guest post, though. Because today Leo Parker tells us why buying the correct gift is so important. There’s also a picture of Bill Murray being scared by a pile of coats which quite frankly makes this the most awesome guest post ever.

    ***

    To be honest, Christmas sucks – it’s impossible to buy presents for people and you seldom receive what you really want (jet-pack) so this list of seven reasons to make sure you buy the right Christmas present is, for all intents and purposes, moot from the outset….

    ….so, let’s get started.

    1.  You’ll Feel All Warm Inside. This is patently untrue, but we’re led to believe via movies and such like that we should feel good about getting people the things that they want. But, truth be told, most people (male people) will merely pick up the nearest Christmas gift guide and purchase the first thing they come across regardless of who the recipient is to be. Ergo, you will see a mother unwrapping a remote control hovercraft and a young niece opening a Top Gear DVD come Christmas morning. Result of this – tension filled Christmas lunch.

    2.  Karma. If you buy good gifts at Christmas, you’ll bag yourself some quality karma. Dish out luxury Swiss watches to your friends and family on Christmas Day, for example, and you’ll be lucky for ages afterwards. Or they’ll think you’ve turned to a life of crime and disown you.

    3.  Revenge. Perhaps an odd emotion to go for on the day of Jesus’ birth but, if you think about it, buying a good Christmas present for someone can be the perfect act of revenge. Someone give you a terrible gift last year? Give them a bloody Tag Heuer watch for Christmas! That’ll make them feel guilty. Revenge…..ACCOMPLISHED. No, wait!

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Make Sure You Buy The Right Christmas Present
    Sweet revenge in the form of Tag Heuer Watches

    4.  A Peaceful Life. When buying Christmas gifts for girlfriends, wives, mistresses et al, special dispensation must be made from your normal poor gift buying endeavours if you hold out any hope of a peaceful life. Buy the wrong gift for your girlfriend (after she’s repeatedly told you what she wants, to the point of writing on your phone, computer, iPod and arm) and you are opening yourself up to a world of pain. You won’t hear the end of it and any hope you had of watching Boxing Day’s set of Premiership football fixtures…..well, you can kiss that goodbye.

    5.  Give The Impression Of Normality. It is generally expected of people to find simple tasks easy and what could be easier than buying a gift for someone – especially when you’ve explicit instructions as to what the gift should be? Well, if you want to appear normal, then you should make buying gifts look simple and whether you’re looking for men’s watches or Power Rangers action figure, you’ve no excuse for messing it up. Unless, of course, you leave all of your shopping until Christmas Eve – in which case, welcome to my world.

    6.  Avoid Ghosts. If you plan on living into your later years and have never given good presents, then you’re in for a ghostly surprise a la Ebenezer Scrooge. Give crap presents for decades then don’t be surprised if you’re visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future asking what the deal is.

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Make Sure You Buy The Right Christmas Present
    I think that’s the Ghost of Christmas Future….or Death

    7.  It’s Christmas. What are you doing reading this? You should be out panic buying presents for your loved ones! No matter how difficult it is buying Christmas presents, there’s no excuse for not trying so get online (if you’re lazy) or on the high street (if you’re resilient to cold) and give that debit or credit (are you sure?) card a work out.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons I’m Going To Buy Window Blinds As A Christmas Gift For A Stranger

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons I’m Going To Buy Window Blinds As A Christmas Gift For A Stranger

    If you can remember as far back as March, you may recall Ewan MacDougal advocating the art of building a fortress from furniture. Well, we are pleased to say he’s back. And this time he’s got Christmas on his mind.

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons I'm Going To Buy Window Blinds As A Christmas Gift For A Stranger

    Window blinds as a Christmas gift for a stranger? “Well that’s a little odd!” I’m sure you’re thinking. Window blinds are generally something one buys for themselves. Choosing window blinds is a big task that can change the whole feel of a room. It would be presumptuous for me to think I could choose how someone else’s’ room must look. “Maybe,” I imagine you suggest. “Maybe choosing window blinds for a loved one could work.” And certainly I agree it would make more sense if I told you I was buying window blinds for, say, my Grandmother – whose tastes I’m likely to know well, especially if she had been hinting she wanted window blinds and knew I had worked with a window blinds company for my job. However, Grandma will have to wait, because this Christmas I’m buying window blinds for a (near) stranger.

    It is not that I am a blind fanatic who hopes he can create a little piece of Christmas magic by having blinds delivered to a random strangers’ home. It’s actually far more self serving than that. It has been said on occasion, that I am perhaps at times a little socially awkward. (Shocking I know.) This was proved to me the other day at a party when, whilst trying to make friends with a stranger, I may have accidently given the impression I could be a stalker. I assure you I am not a stalker!

    It’s okay, though, I have a cunning plan, window blinds will save my reputation and potential friendship, and here are seven reasons why.

    1.  Proof That I’m Gainfully Employed. I have a job, like a proper one with an office, day time hours, email address, phone number, a monthly wage, the works. All these very normal things. I’m sure the random stranger I may have seemed like a stalker to, has in mind a stereotypical stalker. I imagine this stereotype of a stalker is quite a weird individual. Who does not get on with people and does not keep regular hours. A stalker fitting this stereotype would probably struggle to get or hold down a regular office job such as mine. Thus by making it known that I have a job I will surely seem less stalker like. How will blinds help? Well one of my clients at the moment just happens to be a leading window blind manufacturer. I’ll be sure to mention the work connection on any gift tag, making my normalness apparent.

    2.  Window Blinds Create Privacy. This reason is surely an obvious one, but in case some didn’t share quite the same train of thought as I did… Stalkers are notorious for staring through the windows of their victims. Watching all their movements, keeping track of every happening in their life. If someone was to use blinds this would become much more challenging. So, unless I was a stalker particularly looking for a challenge, it would be completely counterproductive to give someone blinds. Thus, the stranger I met at this party will only be able to conclude that I am not a stalker.

    3.  Sending Window Blinds Is Actually Less Creepy Than Explaining The Situation. So the ‘sensible’ among you may be thinking, “Surely this mistaken stalker conundrum is all just a miss understanding that could be sorted out by explaining.”. Well.. maybe. However, the only means of contact I have for my possibly alleged victim soon to be friend, is a postal address. This is what got me into the whole mess in the first place. After the party I was calling a taxi for myself, and being the generous non-stalker that I am I called one for her as well (hence having an address) and at the time I joked that now I had her address I could send her a postcard. I’m no comedy genius, but even I can tell that offering to send someone a postcard isn’t a particularly funny joke. In fact, in all honesty, I don’t know if it can be deemed a joke at all. So how could I save myself as being remembered as that guy who tells non-funny jokes? Well, I could only think of one way. Pretend it was never a joke at all and actually send her a postcard.

    So, that’s what I did. The next day I bought a postcard, drew a nice scene of seals on the back (why seals? Why not?), wrote on her address, a return address and a shiny first class stamp and popped it in the post.

    It’s been four days now and still no response.. the more I think about it, sending a hand drawn seal scene to someone you hardly know might be a little weird.. perhaps stalkerish? It was a party, there was drinking. Does she remember I have her address? How will she think I got it? What if she thinks I found it from somewhere else? Is finding home addresses of strangers stalkerish? Yes.

    So, if my fears are founded, and I have been deemed a weird stalker by sending a postcard, is sending another really the best option? Fixing a mistake by doing the exact same thing again, has been proven (I’m thinking the Brand/Ross vs Andrew Sachs thing) to be a bad idea!

    No, the only option is a completely different gesture. Sending window blinds to her home address instead.

    4.  Drawing Another Picture Would Make Things Worse Still. Before I completely ruled out writing to her again, I did consider creating a second drawing. This drawing would be entitled ‘proof I’m not a stalker’ and feature a sketch of the bushes I saw outside her house on Google street view – it would be clear I’m not hiding in them. The picture would also feature a dustbin being raided for food by foxes – and therefore confirm it was not being raided by me looking for whatever it is stalkers steal from bins. Finally, it would include a sketch of the shelf in my bedroom – which currently has books on it and not a creepy shrine dedicated to her. So that’s what I was going to draw.

    However, I do all my drawings from life, and I feel the amount of time I’d have to secretly sit outside her house to capture the bins and bushes really might not help my case. So really we’re back to the window blinds.

    5.  It’s A Good Value Gift With 50% Off Selected Blinds. The window blind shop I’m looking at currently has 50% off most products. I know I shouldn’t be cheap about saving my own reputation, but there’s no harm in looking for good value.

    6.  Christmas Is A Magical Time Of Year. By making the blinds a Christmas gift the recipient will get them at the most magical time of year. It’s surely much harder to be mad at someone and worry that they might be a stalker when you’re filled with Christmas cheer. Plus, Christmas is a time when you have lots of guests. So what better time to spruce up your living room with some new blinds?! She’ll only be able to think good things about me after this Christmas gift.

    7.  A Personal Gift Will Say I’m Thoughtful Not Creepy. Blinds are a really personal gift, which takes a lot of effort to give. Think about it, I’m going to have to break into her house to measure the windows to make sure the blinds fit. Then I’m going to have to go through all of her stuff to get familiar with her tastes and make sure I choose blinds she’ll really like. Roller blinds or Venetian blinds? I’m going to have to track down the homes of all her friends and family to make sure none of them have blinds that look too similar. It’s really going to be a lot of hard work to make sure the gift is perfect. How could she possibly be mad or scared by me once she knows how much work I’ve gone to in order to get her this perfect and special Christmas gift? I mean, if someone broke into my house, rummaged through all my things, started snooping around the homes of all my friends and family, I know that I’d feel… uh… oh wait… maybe not then.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Be A Vegetarian

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Be A Vegetarian

    With the 7 Reasons sofa still state side, it’s understandable that there is quite a queue next to it. First to jump into the guest post hot seat is Breanna Carter. Before we get to Breanna’s post, though, a warning. If you like your turkey it might be worth waiting until after Christmas before you read this.

    7 Reasons To Be A Vegetarian

    Ever since we chased down prey with rudimentary tools on the African savannah, the human race has always been a carnivorous one. Our medieval kings ate pheasant, our oil barons steak, and beef and poultry have increasingly become staples of consumption in the Western world. But recent decades has also seen the rise of vegetarianism, and more people now eschew meat than ever before. Most of these people are driven by either health or humanitarian concerns. While these reasons are arguably the strongest argument for vegetarianism, there are other supporting points as well. Here, then, are the seven main reasons for being a vegetarian:

    1.  Healthier. To be sure, health is a key reason for dropping meat from your diet. Diets high in meat, after all, are almost invariably high in fat as well. There are many ways of getting the protein provided by meat without the unneeded fat, meaning that there’s really no health downside to being a vegetarian. Furthermore, most unhealthy fast food products include meat; being a vegetarian provides a good impetus to stop eating at such establishments.

    2.  Less Chance of Disease. Undercooked and diseased meat results in thousands of sicknesses and recalls each year. While unwashed vegetables may occasionally contain bacteria and cause food poisoning, your chance of getting serious ill from your food – although low – is much higher when it comes to meat.

    3.  More Humane. This one goes without saying, but a diet that doesn’t include meat also doesn’t include any animal that was killed for your consumption. This has become even more significant in recent years, as stories have repeatedly emerged detailing cruel practices at slaughterhouses. You don’t need to be a die-hard animal lover to sympathize with a cow who faces a painful death.

    4.  Cheaper. Meat products are almost always some of the most expensive items being sold at a given grocery store. One pound of rice or beans – compared with one pound of meat – is far less expensive and far more nutritious. Consequently, your grocery budget would stand to drop noticeably if you made the switch to vegetarianism.

    5.  More Eco-Friendly. As you’ve probably heard, it takes up much more land and many more resources to raise a group of cows than to grow a field of produce. With the world population skyrocketing, arable land becoming more scare, and food prices on the rise, a sustained move to vegetarianism would vastly reduce the resources we consume on a global level.

    6.  Confers Status. In some circles, vegetarians are not well-regarded and could probably use some reputation management assistance. In others, however, those who forgo meat are respected and admired. If you travel in the latter type of circle, your switch to vegetarianism could thus have an added social benefit.

    7.  Better for Your Bowels. Even though humans have been carnivores since our earliest days, our bodies are much better equipped to process plant and grain products than animal ones. If you suffer from bowel issues, then, becoming a vegetarian could vastly improve your day-to-day level of comfort.

    So there you have it: seven reasons to be a vegetarian. Although meat can be tasty and high in protein, it ultimately just cannot compete.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Wear A Two-Piece Swimsuit Over a One-Piece

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Wear A Two-Piece Swimsuit Over a One-Piece

    Today we are joined on the 7 Reasons sofa by Susan Bodack. Susan is a blogger for Beauty & the Beach, a swimwear and fashion blog by InStyleSwimwear.com. It will come as no surprise, then, that her guest post is all about that most puzzling of conundrums. What kind of swimsuit to go for.

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Wear A Two-Piece Swimsuit Over A One-Piece

    When many women hear the words “two-piece swimsuit,” panic starts to set in and confidence levels start to drop. I’m here to tell you that everything you think you know about two-pieces is probably wrong. You don’t have to be a supermodel or even freakishly good looking to wear one. Regardless of your size or body type, you should opt to wear a two-piece swimsuit over a one-piece. Sorry fellas, this post is strictly for the ladies. But you can thank me later. 🙂

    1.  Show Off That Bikini Bod (Or Lack Thereof). As I mentioned in the intro, you don’t have to be flawless to look flawless in a two-piece swimsuit. Lucky for us ladies (myself included) there are different types of two-pieces besides those skimpy string bikinis. For those who are in shape and have spent months perfecting that bikini bod for summer, a two-piece bikini gives you an excuse to show off that hard-earned body. But for those who are a bit more athletically-challenged, a tankini-style two-piece swimsuit may be more your style.

    2.  Tan Lines Are NOT Sexy. The jury’s in, ladies. Tan lines are NOT sexy. Unless you’re into nude beaches, tan lines are pretty much inevitable during summer; but the less you have, the better. A two-piece swimsuit exposes more of your skin than a one-piece, whether you’re wearing a skimpy bikini or a tankini. And with tankinis, you can still pull your top up a bit to let your stomach see the light of day, which I highly recommend. Two-Piece Tan > Farmer’s Tan > One-Piece Tan.

    3.  Going Pee Is Easy as 1, 2, 3! If you’ve ever worn a one-piece, you know that something so simple as going to the bathroom can become quite the hassle. Unlike one-pieces, a two-piece swimsuit makes going pee as easy as 1, 2, 3. With two-pieces, you don’t have to practically get undressed in the stall just to do your business. Some may argue that there are ways around it but let’s not get inventive and make things harder for yourself for no good reason.

    4.  Swimsuit Weather is Hot. Duh. When it comes time to bust out the swimsuits, you know it’s pretty hot out. When you go to and from the beach, pool or wherever your watering hole may be, chances are you probably just throw on your cover-up. A two-piece swimsuit feels more like typical undergarments and less like a layer of clothing, and during the hot and humid weather, you want to have as little on as possible… without getting arrested.

    5.  Next Best Thing… Let me just start off by saying that I DO NOT condone public nudity. Now that I got that disclosure out of the way, wearing a two-piece swimsuit is definitely the next best thing to being naked. Let’s be honest—we all walk around in the buff from time to time in the privacy of our own homes. It gives us a sense of freedom. Sure, there are some nude beaches around, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that the majority of us prefer public beaches. A two-piece swimsuit allows you to expose yourself without actually exposing yourself.

    6.  Wax On, Wax Off. No, I’m not referring to Mr. Miyagi’s words of wisdom, but rather a good old-fashioned bikini wax. I know what you’re thinking. Bikini waxes are no fun. But you know what they say… No pain, no gain! Despite what you may think, everyone needs some maintenance down there, whether you’re a man or woman. Since wearing a two-piece swimsuit exposes more of your body than a one-piece, it’s the perfect excuse to go get waxed. It’s one of those necessary evils and I promise it’s not that bad. And I’m sure your significant other will greatly appreciate it.

    7.  Um, Excuse me, Grandma? Whether you’re a one-piece or two-piece swimsuit wearer, you can’t deny that one-pieces tend to get the short end of the stick; there’s less of a selection, they’re always done in boring dark solid colors, there’s less variety in styles and well, they’re just not at pretty as two-piece swimsuit styles. We all know that once you hit a certain age, gravity starts to take its toll on certain, ahem, features. Celebrate your body while you’ve still got it going on. Whether you’re stick skinny or curvalicious, always choose a two-piece swimsuit. Save the one-pieces for grandma.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Bathroom Needs Renovating

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Bathroom Needs Renovating

    Like most men, we take the 7 Reasons bathroom for granted. We don’t spend very long in there (certainly not together) and very rarely do we have a conversation about it. Today, though, that might have to change. Because today Stephanie Staszko is on the 7 Reasons sofa and Stephanie has just had a look at our bathroom. To be entirely honest, she wasn’t that impressed. According to her, it’s time for a change. And if your bathroom looks anything like the below, it’s probably time you got the builders and plumbers in too. Right, after the photo, it’ll be Stephanie.

    7 Reasons Your Bathroom Needs Renovating
    This may (or may not) be the 7 Reasons bathroom

    Everyday your bathroom burdens your life that little bit more, maybe it’s the pink bathtub fresh out of the 1970s that makes your blood boil? Or perhaps it’s the sink that refuses to accept water to flow down the plughole and so regurgitates it with tufts of hair? If you really want a bathroom makeover – but can’t find a good enough reason to splash the cash – here are a few 7 reasons to justify the expense…

    1.  The Toilet Seat of Doom. Everyone’s had that moment, when you’re desperate for the toilet and when you finally get there, you place your behind on the seat in satisfaction and release an “aaahhh”. But in some unfortunate circumstances this is closely followed by a sideways jolt, a skip of the heartbeat and the realisation that you could slowly be disappearing down the pan. If this sounds like your daily bathroom experience it’s time for a new toilet seat!

    2.  Mirror, Mirror On The Wall… Mirrors gather dirt and grime over time, making their visibility slowly deteriorate. If you find that you’re starting to look somewhat more attractive on a Monday morning it’s time for either an eye test or to replace that deceiving bathroom mirror. After all, you’re only kidding yourself!

    3.  Tap Dancing. Over excitable bathroom taps revel in your embarrassment. No matter how carefully you approach turning that handle to release a steady flow, the tap unleashes an almighty gush of water, destined only for one area: your crotch. As you leave the house displaying what resembles a bladder problem, it’s time you realised new taps could actually improve your social life.

    4.  Shower Power. After a hard day’s work you feel grimy and groggy, so what could possibly be more refreshing than a shower? That would be a hard question to answer if your shower head didn’t have a personal vendetta against your eyeball. As you turn on the spray and expect a warming sensation, you’re greeted unexpectedly with a powerful gush that ruins your retina. The perfect reason for a new bathroom – you don’t want to wind up blind.

    5.  Posterior Pincher. It seems toilet seats have a lot in common with sea creatures – particularly crabs. These toilet seats are particularly nasty as they trap the skin on your buttocks as you sit, sending you shooting into the air with the sharp pain of the pinch. One of these times it WILL result in a nasty accident.

    6.  Banana Skin Bathtub. Much like the slapstick comedies, the bottom of your bathtub can mimic the effect of stepping on a banana skin. Even if you’ve yet to be seriously injured by a slip, the fact that your stomach pretty much ends up in your mouth from every near death experience says that your bathroom suite’s a health hazard.

    7.  The Toe-Breaker. If you’ve tried your hand at DIY by hanging your own towel rail you may realise your toes could be in jeopardy. As you lift your towel with the utmost care so as not to dislodge the rail a sense of fear creeps over you as the rail ever-so slightly drops. If you’re considering wearing steel toe-capped boots for each bathroom venture then your towel rail needs replacing.

    After reading this you’re probably too scared to ever step foot in your bathroom again. But fear not, bathroom suites which are correctly installed can actually be rather enjoyable to use. Get that toilet repaired and take your newspaper for some quiet, thinking time.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Go Skiing

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Go Skiing

    For many the very idea of leaving the house during the winter months is a baffling one. The idea of venturing out into even colder conditions of snow and ice may have you diving under your duvet. The idea of strapping two planks of fibreglass to your feet and sliding down a steep slope might raise your pulse to a level that would alarm your doctor. But on the other hand the idea of a ski chalet nestled somewhere in the mountains is an inviting one…here are 7 reasons to go skiing.

    7 Reasons To Go Skiing

    1.  Fun On Snow-Covered Slopes. To ski you need two things: snow and slopes. The UK isn’t blessed with an enormous amount of either ingredient, so going skiing forces you to travel to at least the North of Scotland – which may well be a world away from what you’re used to – or to the continent – where, thanks to the Alps, you’ll encounter some of the best skiing in the world, excellent hospitality and the hedonistic world of Après Skiing.

    2.  It’s Easy… Relatively. The basics of controlling the speed and direction of your descent can be learnt in a few hours and with some practice you can begin expressing yourself on the slopes quickly. Skiing doesn’t have a 500-page rule book of required reading before you can begin. Nor does it have ever-changing laws. The objective is to get from the top of a slope to the bottom in one piece, without causing carnage on your way. Simple…well, sort of.

    3.  One Sport, Many Disciplines. If the idea of careering downhill uncontrollably fills you (and your insurance company), with dread, you can try cross-country skiing. Much like cross-country running, it requires physical effort. There are two techniques: skating and classic. Skating looks and sounds fun, but it’s a little harder to learn. The classic technique is easier to pick up and requires more effort, but once you have mastered it, you’re free to cruise the winter-wonderland at your own pace. Both techniques will challenge you physically, giving a great work-out while you take in nature at her snow-covered best.

    4.  It’s Not Just Fun, It’s Physical. Winter is more synonymous with hibernation than preparing for a near-vertical drop with two strips of fibreglass strapped to your feet. The cardio-vascular effort is surprisingly large, but coupled with the adrenaline rush; it’s a thrill that has people coming back for more. More vertical; more challenging; more untouched snow. Intermediate and advanced skiers develop their power, balance and co-ordination while skiing some of the most beautiful environments in the world.

    5.  Look At That View! There are few things in life more breath-taking than a snow-capped mountain range. And what could be more exciting than the idea that you’ll be hurtling down that mountain, at speed, with all the razor-sharp precision of an Olympic skier? With a little practice, one day you might.

    6.  Snow-Covered Chalets. Ever dreamt of spending a romantic week in one? I know I have and fortunately, every European ski resort has them in abundance. With many websites geared to tailoring your ski chalet breaks, arranging a skiing holiday isn’t difficult. Within the resort you can hire equipment, so all you need to do is pack some mitts and warm socks. Many chalets come equipped with an open fire, a media system and sauna. After a day on the slopes, what better way to relax with your friends, family or partner than in front of a roaring fire?

    7.  Schnaps! I don’t mean the sugary drink aimed at the ladies, I mean alcohol of at least 40%. On the continent all hard spirits comes under the title Schnaps and is offered as a digestif, a ‘thermal aid’ to cold skiers. Every region boasts its own type of locally made Schnaps served in a distinctive way. Sharing schnaps with strangers is a sign of friendship.

    There’s more to it than the cold and the wet. There’s more to it than the 7 reasons I’ve given you. It’s cool and invigorating. Try it and I’m sure you’ll be back for more.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Build A Pub Shed

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Build A Pub Shed

    Now that 7 Reasons has wound down its daily service, we have been wondering where to keep the 7 Reasons sofa. Then Matthew Wilby got in touch. And he had the solution. A pub shed! We don’t need convincing further, but should you then Matthew has all the reasons you require. Let’s be honest though, who needs reasons? It’s a pub shed!

    7 Reasons Why You Should Build A Pub Shed

    1.  No Walk Home. We all love going to the pub, it’s a great place to enjoy a few too many pints. But you know what we don’t like… the walk home. If you turn your garden sheds into a pub, the walk home is much shorter, unless you have a very, very large garden. But then you might as well build your own pub.

    2.  Recession. We all want to save money and making your own pub shed is the perfect way to save vital pennies. Buying your own beers from the local shop is much cheaper than buying a pint at the local pub and then of course there is the option of inviting all your friends round and telling them to bring the beer.

    3.  Guest List. Your pub shed has a very exclusive guest list – the pub shed gives you power, power to ban, power to invite and power to party. In a pub shed there are no girlfriends, no karaoke, and no teenagers – just good people. A pub shed allows you to have a good time with your friends without having to worry about any other fools turning up.

    4.  Sports. I like watching football in the pub but people are always getting in the way and obstructing the screen when a crucial goal is being scored. The solution is obvious. You guessed it. A pub shed. A pub shed is the perfect location for a flat screen telly with a full Sky Sports package. You can now enjoy your favourite sports without any distraction. And a cold pint too. Though you will have to get up and pour it yourself.

    5.  Comfort. Pubs are great, but don’t you wish they were a bit cosier? The wooden bench is no competition for a comfy, well worn sofa. There are no rules when it comes to pub shed furniture either. You can lounge around on whatever you like. And however you like too. That’s the beauty of a pub shed.

    6.  Last Orders. In a pub shed there is a bell behind the bar. But it is not for last orders. The pub shed frowns on last orders. The bell behind the bar in the pub shed signals the beginning, freedom and shots.

    7.  Spending Time At Home. Many people often worry about their partners going to the pub. Well, a pub shed brings an end to all of that. Spending time at home? You are! You’re in the garden enjoying your home’s latest feature. Pub sheds can also add value to your home. Admittedly nobody has researched this, but if I went to view a house and it had a pub shed, I would definitely pay more for it.