7 Reasons

Tag: Hosts

  • 7 Reasons It’s A Disaster England Lost The Bid To Host The 2018 World Cup

    7 Reasons It’s A Disaster England Lost The Bid To Host The 2018 World Cup

    England 2018 Football World Cup Bid

    1.  Qualifying. England have got to do it. And that’s worrying. Ever so often they cock it up. And the qualifying campaign for the 2018 World Cup could be the ever so often.

    2.  Scotland. Russia have won the bid. That is one hell of a long way to go to just to put in a spirited performance – albeit in defeat – against Brazil and then lose 4-0 to Japan. They could have lost at St. James’ Park and then slipped back over the border unnoticed.

    3.  England. Russia is a long way to go to lose on penalties to Portugal. We could quite easily have done that at home. Or in Portugal. And the players could have done it without wearing gloves.

    4.  Children. Given that 66% of children think ‘The War Of The Roses’ has something to do with those sweets that aren’t Quality Street, England hosting the 2018 World Cup would have been the perfect opportunity for the BBC to do those profiles of the host country. Like they did in South Africa. They would have taught the youth of the year after the next seven all about England’s rich heritage. Instead they are going to learn about Russian dolls. And I don’t mean Anna Kournikova.

    5.  Economy. Let me be the first to tell you that Russia is three hours ahead of the UK. That means games during our afternoons. You can bet your last fiver that England will be playing Cameroon on a Wednesday afternoon at about 2pm BST. And it’s a game they are going to have to win having previously lost 2-1 to Romania and drawn 0-0 with a country no one has even heard of. Despite the fact that we will be rubbish, people will still be skipping work to watch the game. It’ll be enough to plunge us into a recession. Probably the same one we are in now.

    6.  Press. If England do make it through to the World Cup, for one whole day Sky News will be covering the ‘England Leave For Russia’ story. We’ll have to endure watching the England players walk up some steps and onto a plane. Probably followed by Gazza with a fishing rod and a bucket of chicken. Then six hours later we’ll have to watch them walked off the plane in Moscow. Followed by a drunk Gazza with a fishing rod and no chicken.

    7.  It’s Coming Home! If England had won the bid, we could have listened to this song while it made sense. Now, we’ll have to listen to it trying to work out how Russia is the home of football. And Baddiel and Skinner will be 54 and 61 respectively. They’ll have probably gone all Chas’n’Dave on us.

  • We’ve Moved!

    We’ve Moved!

    It’s Sunday, so no reasons today.  Here’s something different.  Last week we brought you a tale of horror and woe, and this week we bring you…a tale of horror and woe, because we have an announcement:

    We’ve moved!  You may not have noticed yet, but we have.  We’ve moved from Gloucestershire to Kent.  Strange, the website doesn’t look any different, you’re probably thinking; I can’t see any oast-houses or Dover Castle or France, but I promise you that we’ve moved. We’ve changed our web-hosts from Fasthosts to EZPZ hosting.

    And we hope the new web-hosts that we’ve moved to will provide you, the reader and us, the men who have spent many, many, many of the hours that they should have spent writing in the last year trying to get answers from Fasthosts about why our website wasn’t being hosted effectively, with a more reliable experience.  As our experience with Fasthosts has been appalling.

    In fact, we started monitoring our site’s uptime over the past few weeks, and it turns out that with Fasthosts, our site was working less than 99% of the time.  Imagine if you had a car that wasn’t there 1% of the time when you came to use it.  Or your house wasn’t there for over three and a half days out of the year, but you didn’t know when that would be, or that the sun vanished intermittently.

    And it’s not just that the site would disappear while we were trying to read it; it would also disappear while we were trying to write it, which resulted in an awful lot of lost work.  In fact, I’ve found myself spending a lot of time that I should have spent creating stuff and writing for the website monitoring its performance and corresponding with the web hosts.

    As a result of the many support tickets that we have raised and the many questions we have asked them in the past year, Fasthosts have properly investigated our downtime twice.  And they’ve come to the conclusion that there isn’t a problem at their end and that it must be our fault, which is strange as, since we’ve moved the website, it has been working for 100% of the time.  Which rather undermines their claims.

    It’s not just technical incompetence.  A couple of days ago – we disabled the auto-renew facility some time ago – they tried to take money from my credit card to pay for web hosting for the coming year (something they didn’t have permission to do).  Fortunately, they have the details of an old card and it didn’t go through.

    Anyway, we’ve moved and we wanted our experiences with Fasthosts to have a home on the internet so that anyone thinking of using them and perhaps googling “Should I switch to Fasthosts”, “Are Fasthosts any good” or, “naked web hosting” (people search for almost everything pre-fixed by the word naked) would find this piece and would be forewarned.

    Hopefully now, the 7 Reasons team will have less correspondence like this:

    Jon,

    I fully intended to forward any response on why we’re down to you.  But, other than the initial automated (and pointless) response to our first email from Shithosts, there has been none.  Nor have they replied to us via Twitter.  This is on their webshite:

    Websites hosted on 88.208.252.193 will currently be unavailable. Our engineers are investigating.
    Update: 8:35: Our engineers have found the cause of the issue. However, it is likely that a resolution will require a server rebuild. We will restore all data from a recent backup and will update this page when further information and a completion time become available. Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused.
    This issue is presently under investigation:

    Our ip address is 88.208.252.3:21so whether this applies to us is a mystery to me, I’ll update you as soon as I hear anything/they bother to reply/I turn up at their offices in Gloucester brandishing a weapon,

    Marc.

    P.S.  Makes me really glad I spent 8 hours working on today’s post now.

    P.P.S.  Do you have backups of all of the posts that you uploaded yesterday?

    P.P.P.S.  We were on course to have one of our best Mondays ever yesterday.  Before our site disappeared.

    And more correspondence like this:

    Jon,

    The website is working fine.  It’s nice here in Kent.  Look, I can see deer strolling through the meadow next to the tiramisu farm.  Would you like some beer from the perpetual fountain?

    Marc.

    In conclusion: If you are looking for web hosting.  Never, ever use Fasthosts.  They’re no good at web hosting, their customer service is woeful, they can’t be trusted with your credit card details and they’re expensive (our new hosting is almost two and a half times cheaper).

    7 Reasons (.org) will return tomorrow; I can state with utter confidence.