7 Reasons

Tag: History

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Child Will Learn More History In Spain Than School

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Child Will Learn More History In Spain Than School

    We all remember history lessons, don’t we? Falling asleep at the back of the class while a droning teacher with all the inspiration of a brick tried to stimulate some interest in the War of the Spanish Succession, or the Defenestration of Prague? Spain has such a rich and varied history that it provides the ideal canvas for a child’s mind, making dry-as-dust stuff about the past really come alive.

    Family holidays here are a relaxed affair, with welcoming hosts, good food and accessible, scenic roads. Car hire in Spain is affordable and easily arranged, and there’s an enormous range of cultural festivals and events on throughout the year, making this the perfect destination for a trip learning about Europe’s past and present without it feeling like a lesson at all.

    Alcazar of Segovia
    Alcazar of Segovia – via tripsgeek.com

    1.  A unique cultural mix. Spain was the battleground for Christian kingdoms of the north and Moorish Caliphates of the south, who slogged it out for centuries until 1492, when the Christians captured Granada. Across Spain there’s a fabulous mix of Gothic and Arabic in the architecture – a lesson in how multiculturalism can transform and beautify the landscape of any country.

    2.  Castles and battles. The phrase ‘Castles in Spain’ may refer to unrealistic daydreams, but Spain really does have some of the most magical and dreamlike castles in Europe. The Alcazar of Segovia was the model for Disney’s Magic Kingdom, a soaring confection of turrets and towers that would make the perfect backdrop for any medieval make-believe.

    3.  Extravagant festivals. Every village, town and city across Spain has its festivals, and these are usually noisy and colourful occasions. The week leading up to Easter is especially atmospheric, with candle-lit processions through the streets to churches and cathedrals to mark Holy Week. At the other extreme, at the Tomatina in Valencia in August thousands of people spend three days pelting each other with tomatoes.

    4.  Gaudi’s experimental cathedral. There’s no other cathedral in the world quite like Gaudi’s Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. It has seven spires for a start, and looks nothing like the staid and brooding cathedrals you find elsewhere in Europe. The ‘warped Gothic’ architecture makes it look like it’s melting in the heat, and bright mosaics reflect the sun like bowls of Caribbean fruit. Eat your heart out, Cologne!

    5.  What the Romans did for everyone. Spain was an important Roman province, and in fact the first non-Roman emperor, Trajan, was born here. Roman remains litter the Spanish landscape and one of the most awesome is the great aqueduct of Segovia. Of course, bath houses were never far away either – when not wiping out all opposition, the legionnaires liked nothing better than a good, manly scrub.

    6.  Gardens of the Alhambra. The Moors tended to enjoy cool fountains and shaded gardens, and in the Alhambra at Granada you can see that they and their northern Christian counterparts were as different as chalk and cheese when it came to relaxing and enjoying the finer things in life. On the other hand they did end up being kicked out, so there’s a lesson there somewhere.

    7.  Flamenco. Flamenco, the Spanish national dance, comes from the Arabs and is characterised by mad passions, obsessive jealousy and barely suppressed lust – history in a nutshell. The rhythmic, aggressive stamping takes enormous stamina, and wielding lethal castanets without doing serious damage is a great skill. Just watching a performance can leave you completely exhausted and ready for a tapas and a large glass of chilled Torres Milmanda Chardonnay.

    About the author: David Elliott is a freelance writer who loves to travel, especially in Europe and Turkey. He’s spent most of his adult life in a state of restless excitement but recently decided to settle in North London. He gets away whenever he can to immerse himself in foreign cultures and lap up the history of great cities.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Be Watching The NBA Playoffs

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Be Watching The NBA Playoffs

    You can argue that basketball just is not the sport for you, or that your hometown does not have a professional basketball team. While this may be true for many, this is still no reason not to tune into the NBA playoffs. Millions of hopeful fans across the world will be tuning in for every one of their team’s games, press conferences, post game shows, and player interviews with anticipation as their team shoots, dribbles, and scores their way to a world championship.

    7 Reasons You Should Be Watching The NBA Playoffs

    With so much excitement, why not make an effort to be a part of it? Your boss will be talking about it. Your waiter will be talking about it. Even your reverend will be talking about it. Do you really want to be left out when NBA playoff conversation begins? Even if you don’t care to talk about the sport, there are still plenty of reasons to watch the playoffs. Let’s give you seven.

    1.  Star-Studded Teams. Even though “there is no I in TEAM,” many teams are carried by their star, or even their cast of stars. These players, some of the best in the world, are extremely entertaining on the basketball court. Players like Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, and Kevin Durant have been carrying the team on their back all the way to playoff contention, so you better believe they will be working hard for that world championship. Expect to see some of the best players in the world play some of their best basketball during the playoffs.

    2.  Top 10 Plays. For those of you unfamiliar with Sportscenter, I’m sure you always look forward to the end of the program when the top ten plays of the day aired. Often times, many of these can be bland or boring. Well, when you see the high quality of play displayed during the NBA playoffs, you’ll soon understand why the highlight reels are filled with absolute gems on the court. Highlight dunks, clutch shots, and last-second game-winners are sure to arouse amazement for any level of sport enthusiast.

    3.  Defense. So maybe you’re just not impressed with high scoring offense. Many people love to see high quality defense; when athletes play their heart out, the defense is reflected. Blocked shots, stealthy steals, and just rock solid defense can be expected in these best-of-seven series.

    4.  Team Pride. Pick a team; any team. Follow them diligently. Even if you are not from the area or did not grow up a fan, you will most certainly become attached a team that you root for. Seeing the emotion and heart that is poured out on the court really makes you appreciate a solid team effort, since this can also be seen as a metaphor for life and the pursuit of a dream. Also, seeing a teamwork so well together and win tight games together is a really gut-wrenching experience because the more you watch them, the more you start to empathize with them. You are guaranteed to be at the edge of your seat for at least the duration of one quarter of any given game.

    5. Historic Performances. If you’re a sports fan, I’m sure many can recall Michael Jordan’s playoff games. Or maybe even Wilt Chamberlain’s incredible performances. Well, needless to say, there is no lack of talent in the NBA. Every year, every series, every week, players are leaving it all out on the court with absolutely awe-inspiring performances. Just tune into some of the Conference Finals games or the NBA Championship games, you’re sure to see some incredible performances.

    6.  Historic Moments. Do you really want to be that guy at work who missed the last-second shot to win the game? Absolutely not. There’s a reason some of these moments have been engraved in sports history. Or why these moments have millions of views on the internet. Or why even people of today’s generation are familiar with game-winners from 50 years ago. These moments go down in history.

    7.  The NBA Finals. Sure, the playoffs are great, but the NBA Finals is where the action is. Watching your team scratch and claw their way through the competition is only the prerequisite for the main stage. The NBA Finals prove to be one of the most prestigious and popular series of sporting events in the world. With so much at stake and so much to prove, you can only expect to see the best basketball on Earth.

    Author Bio: Becky Harris writes on a variety of topics for Upack moving containers.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Need Cake In Your Life

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Need Cake In Your Life

    In a world where everyone is so image conscious, too many people keep going on about fruits, vegetables and balanced diets! How boring is that! There are so many reasons to relax every now and then and have the occasional piece of cake in your life. Here are just seven of them!

    7 Reasons Why You Need Cake In Your Life

    1.  Scholars say that learning about history is good for you. Apparently, it helps to provide a sense of identity and improves your judgement and decision making. Did you know that the word cake comes from the Viking word Kaka? This means that cake has a long history! History is good for you, therefore you need cake!

    2.  Endorphins are hormones released by your brain which cause you to have happy feelings. Feelings of pleasure. Endorphins are also natural pain relievers. It has been scientifically proven that desserts like cake cause your brain to release endorphins! Endorphins make you feel happy and ease pain, so this is a very good reason to have more cake in your life.

    3.  Eating cake makes people feel happy. Happy people smile a lot. Smiling is good for you. It has been scientifically proven that a smile can help lower your blood pressure, relieve stress, boost your immune system, make you look younger, make you more attractive and can change your mood by releasing those happy chemicals called endorphins, which make you even more happy! And another thing, smiling is contagious! By having cake in your life, you will not only be helping yourself to be more happy, you will also be passing on your happiness to other people, by causing them to smile back at you! What better reason is there to have more cake in your life than that?

    4.  Cake makes people feel special! Everyone likes to feel special. You can even get personalised cakes made for your friends and family. You can put little messages on cakes. You can get a mini cake or a big cake personalised and sent as a gift to someone special. What better reason can you have for needing cake than to make someone else feel special?

    5.  Did you know that there are 490 calories in a Big Mac and 180 calories in the same amount of cake? You see, cake is better for you than a Big Mac!

    6.  All of the best nutritionists say that it is important to have balance in the diet. They say you should eat five fruits and vegetables a day because they help to keep your weight stable, they are high in fibre and they provide lots of vitamins and minerals which are good for you. Having cake adds the balance! Having some carrot cake or upside down pineapple cake adds to your five a day!

    7.  We have to celebrate the special events in life to give it meaning and to add joy. Birthdays, weddings, christenings, Christmas, Halloween, a promotion, a new job, all of these events and many others require celebration. You can not have a celebration without cake because that would just be boring.

    So the moral to the story is that you need cake in your life!.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Landlords Should Select The Right Tenants

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Landlords Should Select The Right Tenants

    There are a vast number of strange people in this world. Despite our best efforts to understand the litany of weirdness that surrounds them, we are often left baffled by their mysterious ways. If you’re a Landlord looking to let a property, then the last thing you want is The Crazy Guy living under your roof.

    Unfortunately, the ‘good tenant’ is a rare and elusive creature, who is greatly outnumbered by the ‘odd-squad’. Thankfully for you, we have listed the seven reasons for landlords to select the right tenant, and more importantly, just how to spot them.

    7 Reasons
    "Hello, I'm your new tenant. Don't worry, I only turn dead animals into bagpipes."

    1.  Hello, Is It Me You’re Looking For? As Lionel Ritchie once famously sang “hello, is it me you’re looking for?” The short answer is no! One of the best things you can do is meet with the potential tenant in advance. Nine times out of ten you will know if something is amiss. Tell-tale signs are any of the following:

    • The everlasting handshake: If your arm is still being violently thrusted up and down after 10 minutes, then loosen your grip and head cautiously to the nearest exit.
    • Soap dodgers: Tenants should treat this as they would a job interview. If they turn up in filthy clothes and covered in muck, then this is a clear insight in to their own living habits.
    • Everyone needs good neighbours: One of the quickest ways to get evicted is getting complaints from your neighbours. Ask your tenant what their likes and hobbies are. Playing an acoustic guitar at 5pm may be soothing. Belting out heavy metal from your electric guitar at 3am is something quite different.

    2.  Show Me The Money. You want a tenant that will be financially responsible. This means someone that will pay their rent on time. Ask to see copies of their recent pay slips and even speak with their employer. Avoid anyone that asks to pay in small change or colourful buttons!

    3.  Run A Credit Check. Even if their wallet is bursting at the seams, they could still be in more debt than Greece. Find a professional company to run a credit check, they will be able to tell you if they have a history of paying bills on time. It will also check their monthly income and if they have any outstanding debt.

    4.  Welcome To The Zoo. Whether you hug puppies, or feed mice to hungry anacondas, liking ‘pets’ and having them reside in your home are two different things. Be clear what your rules are if allowing pets. One hyperactive dog can leave you with thousands of pounds worth of damage to your property.

    5.  Brush Up On Your History. The best person to ask about their living habits will be their previous landlord. Ask to speak with them to find out if you are inheriting a problem tenant. Be careful though as they may be some what forthcoming with the truth in an attempt to off load them on you. Remember, if it’s too good to be true, then it probably is.

    6.  Lifestyles. Do they move or switch jobs often? If the answer is yes then they are unlikely to be a long term tenant. If their last long-term employment was their school paper round, then they may struggle to regularly pay the rent.

    7.  Two To A Room. Be extremely clear as to how many occupants you allow per room. Even Noah made the animals enter ‘two by two’. You don’t want to find your cosy one bedroom flat has twenty people living inside. Clearly state in your contract how many people are legally allowed to live in your property.

    By following these simple rules you can rest easy that your tenants are living in tranquillity, while the nutty and quirky are left safely locked outside.

    Author Bio: Andrew Potter writes for My Online Estate Agent where you find useful guides such as how to advertise on Rightmove and other useful property tips.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Believe Harry Potter Exists

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Believe Harry Potter Exists

    As you may have noticed, here at 7 Reasons we have a habit of belittling other people’s muppetry. The question, ‘Is Harry Potter Real?’, for instance, would have us stampeding towards our pencil cases. As indeed we did when we discovered this. However, when today’s guest post dropped on our inbox mat, we had to take a step back. And question ourselves. Because today we are confronted with seven compelling reasons that suggest maybe, just maybe, we were too quick to judge. Perhaps, just perhaps, Harry Potter does exist after all. So, with that in mind, let’s get to the post. Written today by massive Harry Potter nerd, Rachel, who went to boarding school and Oxford University just to have an education as close to the Hogwarts experience as possible.

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Believe Harry Potter Exists

    Come on, admit it: at least once in your life, you’ve fantasised about what it would be like to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Depending on the level of your Harry Potter obsession, you might even have gone as far as to have a careful think about which House you’d get put into by the Sorting Hat (definitely Ravenclaw for me). If you’re still waiting for that Hogwarts acceptance letter to drop down your chimney, check out our seven great reasons why you should hold out hope that the magical world of Harry Potter really exists…

    1.  Online Stores. Anyone looking for a reason to believe need search no further than their computer screen. A decent Google session later and you could quite easily purchase yourself a wide array of wizarding accessories. With anything from school supplies to apparel, time turners and hand carved wands available, any budding witch or wizard can easily stock up for their first day at Hogwarts. Just order your acceptance letter (again, available online) and head on down to platform 9¾ at King’s Cross Station.

    2.  Muggle Wear. When wizards attempt to dress in ‘Muggle clothes’, the result is notoriously hilarious: slippers with pinstripe suits, a middle-aged man sporting a flowery dress and a bowler hat, or unusual patterns and colour combinations, the ensembles that they come up with are anything but normal. I’m sure everyone has seen someone whose outfit garners a second glance or a funny look, someone who doesn’t seem to understand that you shouldn’t wear a dressing gown with skinny jeans. Maybe they were just cold? Or maybe they were an undercover wizard.

    3.  Supernatural Sightings. Yetis in Tibet, the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland or aliens in Roswell: hundreds of unbelievable, supernatural sightings and occurrences are reported every year. What’s easier to believe: that a UFO sighting is proof of alien life from space, or that it was just a glimpse of Mr Weasley’s flying Ford Anglia? Or even a small bespectacled boy riding on a hippogriff.

    4.  History. Ancient records are littered with references to the occult: Merlin in Camelot, witch hunts in Salem or stories of immortality elixirs – tales of witches and wizards permeate the fabric of our history. There’s no smoke, as they say, without fire.

    5.  Sweet Stuff. Sugar Quills, Fizzing Whizzbees, Butterbeer, Exploding Bonbons, Liquorice Wands, Jelly Slugs, Chocolate Frogs, Cauldron Cakes, Pumpkin Pasties, Firewhiskey, Pepper Imps, Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum, Acid Pops and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. I don’t know about you, but I’m not prepared to live in a world where these sweet treats don’t exist.

    6.  Quidditch. The strangest of games, Quidditch defies the laws of logic. Not only is this school sport played in mid-air (health and safety anyone?), but unless one of the teams is able to gain a lead of at least 160 points, the whole match, and subsequently the final score, rests on the shoulders of the Seeker. You can’t make this stuff up, so it must be real.

    7.  The International Statue Of Wizarding Secrecy. This may be the most obvious reason of all, but the only reason for not believing that Harry Potter is real lies in the absence of proof: why would we have proof? These are not wayward sorcerers who cast spells at random; the Ministry of Magic has rules about that sort of thing. Officially established in 1692, the Statue of Secrecy was created to “safeguard the wizard community from Muggles, and hide their presence from the world at large”. With such a law in place, I’m sure that any Muggle with proof would find themselves on the wrong end of a memory charm pretty sharpish.

    If you have any further reasons to add, please leave a comment below – we are the believers!

  • 7 Reasons To Buy A Buttock

    7 Reasons To Buy A Buttock

    Hello! That probably isn’t a title you were expecting to see today, and it wasn’t one I was expecting to write either, but life has just thrown something so amazing and unexpected at me that I feel compelled to share it with you. The BBC has reported that there’s a buttock for sale. That’s right. A buttock! Here are seven reasons to buy it.

    7 Reasons To Buy A Buttock

    1.  It’s Not Just Any Buttock. It’s Saddam Hussein’s! You can own a part of a tyrant’s tush; a dictator’s derriere; a bully’s bum; an autocrat’s anus; a totalitarian’s tail. It’s half of Saddam Hussein’s bottom!

    2.  It’s Got An Amazing History. I’m certain that there are very few people in the world that haven’t seen the footage of Saddam Hussein’s statue being toppled in Firdos Square by US Marines. Well, it’s a part of that statue! A part of the arse of that statue! Half, in fact. It was collected by former SAS soldier, Nigel Ely, who was working with a TV crew at the time. According to the BBC:

    Finding the bronze statue face-down, the ex-serviceman enlisted the help of a marine armed with a crowbar and a sledgehammer to cut out half of the despot’s backside.

    Genius! With the entire back of this historic statue to choose from Mr Ely selected half of the bum as a souvenir. And he got an American to help him. “What!? You want me to help you remove half the statue’s ass? Sure, why not?” As if being asked to remove a tyrant’s butt-cheek was an everyday occurence in the marines. Perhaps it is.

    3.  It’s In Derby. Ever been to Derby? Yes? Well now there’s something to do there! And it’s buying a backside at an auction. Saddam Hussein? You can go to Derby and bid on his ass.

    4.  It’s For Charity. Proceeds from the sale of 50% of Saddam Hussein’s posterior will go towards helping injured ex-service-personnel from the UK and the US, so whoever purchases it will actually be doing something worthy. I can confidently state that money for a great cause will be the best thing that’s ever come out of Saddam Hussein’s bottom.

    5.  It’s Made Of Bronze! Bronze! So the winning bidder won’t be invited to sell it during every commercial break and at every other new shop on the high street. It’ll also be highly resistant to saltwater corrosion. If they so desire, the lucky purchaser can melt it down and make something else from it. A bust, perhaps, or a porthole.

    6.  It’s Unique (Almost). It’s not guaranteed to be absolutely unique as, unless there’s something surprising about Saddam Hussein’s anatomy that I’m not privy to, there’s potentially another buttock out there. But that could prove lucrative as they’d be worth far more as a pair. I have no idea how you’d find the other one, but tracking it down could be a great hobby for someone. I don’t reccomend using a search engine though, as I imagine that googling “Saddam Hussein’s arse” will probably bring you to this website in the future. As if we didn’t get enough weirdos. We’ve had “where is dangling place” and “how to read on the toilet” in the last half hour. And I’m loathe to mention the “horse sex tube”. Bugger.

    7.  It’ll Be In Your House! Or perhaps your garden. Wherever you choose to keep it though, it’ll be the greatest talking point of all time. “May I use your bathroom?” “Sure, it’s the door over there, just next to Saddam Hussein’s buttock.” “Where did you plant the begonia?” “By Saddam Hussein’s arse.” Seriously, who wouldn’t want this in their home?

  • In Conversation With Marc Fearns

    In Conversation With Marc Fearns

    In something of an oddity, we’re both on the sofa this Sunday. Usually it’s just Marc and his spam fetish, but this week we thought we’d bring Jon into the equation to give things a little more substance. 7 Reasons has been going on twenty months now. Given our success we would have thought we’d at least have been interviewed on Yorkshire based radio station Whippet FM by now. Sadly, we haven’t. And that’s really disappointing. But, being innovators of great stature, we have decided to do what Whippet FM hasn’t. We are going to interview ourselves. In this two part special we are going to be sitting on the sofa talking to each other. Via the medium of email. This week, it’s Jon interviewing Marc. Here we go.

    Russian Roulette Sunday: In Conversation With Marc Fearns

    JL: Hello Marc. Nice baby/glasses. Why did you feel it necessary to involve me in 7 Reasons?

    MF: Hello Jon.  Nice fiancé/biscuits.  It seemed logical. I realised that with someone else on board, I would only have to come up with three and a half reasons per day and – I’ve been told – that doing things on your own is less fun.  The first seven reasons piece that I wrote (which was on my own blog, before the provisional concept of the site came to me in the bath) was also partially your idea, so it seemed like the thing to do.  It does have its drawbacks:  Not being the best writer on my own website occasionally irritates me and I’ve learned more about Whitstable than I ever wanted to but, those minor matters aside, time has proved that it was the right decision.  It’s a bit like a variant on infinite monkey theory:  If there are two thoroughly daft people in the world with roughly compatible interests and skill-sets, eventually they’ll end up running a website together. Or annoying a woman.  Or both.  I’m also a big fan of the writing of Jonathan Lee.  This way I can see it more often (and get to remove the rogue apostrophes).

    JL: It’s nice to hear you’re such a fan, but let’s talk about you more. Almost two years ago you quit the wine industry to start 7 Reasons and redesign the whole of your house. Which do you feel has been more successful?

    MF: Well, I do now have a library, a loft, a working roof and a big muddy hole in the front garden but parts of the house are still pink.  7 Reasons, on the other hand, isn’t pink at all.  It is also visible from Rio de Janeiro.  Definitely 7 Reasons.

    JL: We’re approaching our 500th post Birthday. That’s a lot, especially when you consider we use the same formula every single day. Have you ever been tempted to call it a day and go back to fearns.blogspot.com?

    Oh, most days.  Usually when I’m stuck on five reasons.  But other than that, no, not really.  I test myself occasionally just to ensure that I retain the ability to write without counting to seven, but 7 Reasons is much more fun and some days it just seems to write itself.  Saturdays, mostly.

    JL: Obviously an ability to write and count up to seven are essential requirements for a 7 Reasons writer  – and may I just say on one of those counts you succeed admirably – but are there any other skills that you feel lend themselves favourably to being part of the 7 Reasons team?

    MF: Yes.  Anyone can write seven reasons for something, but to make it entertaining requires some sort of minor unhinged-ness, eccentricity, neurosis, and perhaps a soupçon of Francophobia.  Most people, for example, on hearing the captivating tones of the woman next door singing lullabies to her children would think no more of it and carry on.  A member of the 7 Reasons team would have a different thought process:

    That’s the woman next door singing a lullaby.  Wow, she’s got lovely pitch and an impressive range.  I wish my child’s mother could sing this well to him.  Perhaps I could convince the woman next-door to sing to him occasionally, he’d like that…  Wait!  What am I doing?  I’m coveting my neighbour’s wife!  I’m not supposed to be doing that, the Bible says not to (possibly).  And I’m not even coveting her out of lust!  I’m coveting her for her parenting skills, which is probably an even worse betrayal of my child’s mother than coveting a woman for more conventional reasons.  Or is it?  Does this mean I’m going to hell?  Can I get a 7 Reasons post out of it?

    That’s the sort of mindset that the 7 Reasons team bring to the plate every day.

    JL: What about the need to have a thick skin? You recently wrote a piece about the M&S Dine In For £10 deal. On reading the article, Mark Spencer (probably not his real name) suggested that you were a complete idiot and proffered that you were someone who moans about anything and everything. He then called you an idot. An improvement on idiot though one suspects not overly complimentary. How do you deal with the personal insults?

    MF: Before he(she?) called me an “idot”, which as a fan of irony, I heartily approve of, he(she?) also complained (semi-literately) that I wrote a full article on the subject.  Presumably he(she?) inhabits a world where people that disagree with him(her?) can only do it in that arcane and obscure form, the partial-article.  Either that or Mark Spencer (or, more accurately, Anonymous-From-The-Internet) is a bit unhinged and should really be ignored by right-thinking people.  After all, if you have to resort to abuse where there is room for debate and opinion, you’ve really already marked yourself out as not worthy of anyones’ consideration or attention.  Generally, I’m happy that I write fair-mindedly, and if people choose not to read things in that manner, that’s really up to them.  And most people do, which is heartening.

    JL: 7 Reasons is very much concept driven, in a marketplace full of content driven websites do you think the 7 Reasons approach has helped or hindered its growth?

    MF: No.  Or yes.  Or, more accurately, I don’t know.  I think it adds a nice hook to the titles of pieces and gives the potential reader some sort of inkling of what to expect.  If you imagine the titles of our pieces without the prefix 7 Reasons, what you might expect to see when clicking on that link would be far less clear.  I think people realise that they’re not going to get some dull, sprawling, ranty tract that will take all day to read when they see that there are a fixed number of reasons.  Plus it gives people that have failed to observe the name on the link or the website’s header the chance to say of any given post, “What, only seven?” and wear their own ignorance as a badge.   They seem to like doing that.

    On balance, I think the concept helps to attract an audience, but it isn’t the key to retaining them.  That’s the role of the content.  And all I need to do now is add the phrases “evolve viral experiences”, “synergize leading-edge web-readiness” and “drive front-end bandwidth” to this paragraph and then I can draw a cock on my own back and beat myself to death with an iPad.  Great question, Jon.  Thanks.

    JL: They don’t call me the young Michael Parkinson…actually, that sentence stops there. They don’t call me the young Michale Parkinson. In what will hopefully be a more enjoyable question to answer, which three posts, from the 500 plus that have been published, stand out in your mind?

    MF: 7 Reasons Not to Write on a Train stands out.  I really enjoyed writing that one, though it really sticks in my mind as a result of the epic battle I had to upload it from Essex the next day.  The friends that we were staying with had a broken internet connection that I could have fixed but they couldn’t remember their password.  Then it turns out that no establishment in Essex (apart from one place) had working WiFi.  Then the working WiFi in the place with the working WiFi stopped working just as I started using it, and many of the places that advertised WiFi weren’t there any more.  After six hours of trying to upload the piece from Essex I had to abandon my wife and friends to go to London to use the internet.  And to have a beer.

    7 Reasons We Love Propaganda Posters also stands out.  Just because there are websites out there that have accepted our posters and explanations as historical fact and there’s a part of me that finds that very funny.

    7 Reasons Sports Personality 2009 Was A Joke also stands out, mostly for the debate about sport in the 1990s that ensued in the comments section.  I don’t think you’ve ever researched anything as thoroughly as you did the sporting year of 1994 during that debate.  And then someone else we knew turned up and commented thinking that our website was The Guardian.  Fun all round.

    JL: And finally, what hopes do you have for 7 Reasons in the future?

    MF: Untold riches, tiramisu, world domination and minions; it’d be great to have some of them.  Oh, and a book deal.

    JL: Well best of luck with that Marc Fearns. Thank you for talking to us.

    MF: We’re welcome.

    Next week: In Conversation With Jonathan Lee!

  • 7 Reasons That Twitter Will Alter All Human Existence

    7 Reasons That Twitter Will Alter All Human Existence

    Twitter:  Fun?  Yes.  Useful?  Yes.  A culture-changing behemoth that will fundamentally alter all human existence?  Yes.  Here are seven reasons why.

    LOL

    1.  Opinion.  Twitter is a hotbed of instant opinion and, thanks to the medium, our ability to express opinion will remain undiminished.  Unfortunately, also thanks to Twitter, all human opinion will eventually come to be expressed in 140 characters or less.  Thus Machiavelli’s view of history as a tool for learning will change from:

    “Whoever wishes to foresee the future must consult the past; for human events ever resemble those of preceding times. This arises from the fact that they are produced by men who ever have been, and ever shall be, animated by the same passions, and thus they necessarily have the same results.”

    To:

    “He’s just like his dad.  Men are all the same.  LOL.

    And Albert Einstein’s,

    “The population of the civilized countries is extremely dense as compared with former times; Europe today contains about three times as many people as it did a hundred years ago. But the number of leading personalities has decreased out of all proportion. Only a few people are known to the masses as individuals, through their creative achievements. Organisation has to some extent taken the place of leading personalities, particularly in the technical sphere, but also to a very perceptible extent in the scientific.”

    Will become:

    “People are becoming more stoopid.  LOL”

    And where we would once have had wordy treatises extolling considered opinion on the omniscient nature of the supreme being, we will have:

    “God knows.  LOL.”

    2.  Mimicry.  And it’s not just that opinion will be condensed to insubstantial gibberish.  Some people will eventually be reduced to saying nothing at all.  Thanks to the retweet button, the lazy and unoriginal will find it possible to maintain discourse with others without ever stating any of their own thoughts or opinions at all.  This will be familiar to anyone who has ever conversed with a Daily Mail reader or a viewer of Fox News but, the spectre of it escalating further is worrying indeed.  Perhaps thanks to the constant retweeting, the world will be reduced to having just one opinion on any given subject.  Rupert Murdoch’s, probably.

    3.  Courage.  And it’s not just that we’ll lack opinions and the capability for extended expression.  Humanity will eventually develop to lack courage.  Because when we disagree with the opinion that someone has just retweeted: “Pink is for sissies.  LOL”, we won’t reply, “No it isn’t.  Chuck Norris wears pink underpants.  LOL”, we’ll send a direct message to someone else saying, “Did you see what @RupertMurdoch1874 just said?  Where does he get off saying that?  LOL.”  Because as people fear losing followers or public ridicule they become more and more timid and secretive and would rather whisper things to their friends in the corner.  Sadly, however, they don’t become any less stupid.

    4.  Shame.  Shame will disappear completely as a human emotion.  As we increasingly rely on Twitter for information that we would previously have acquired through knowing stuff and learning and having a modicum of sense and whatnot – or even just old-fashioned googling things – we will eventually attempt to acquire all of our important life information from Twitter.

    “Is Twitter down?  LOL”

    “Can I eat lamb that’s been in the fridge for over a day?  LOL”

    “Is it weird that my period’s six weeks late?  LOL”

    “Why am I getting so fat?  LOL”

    Seriously, if our dead ancestors came back from the grave and saw the things that people tweet, they’d…er…die again, of shame.  And spin too.  (Okay, I really didn’t think that metaphor through but at least I’m not brazenly parading my stupidity on Twitter full-time.  No.  I’m busy writing this.  I’m saving my Twitter-stupidity for later).

    5.  Emotions.  Human expression of emotion will also come to be affected by Twitter.  People will no longer smile, cry, or frown, they will merely write “*smiles”, “*cries”,  “*frowns”, “*throws self under a bus.  LOL”, to denote emotion.  Whether this will extend to mainstream media is a matter of conjecture (which is fortunate as that’s what I’m doing.  I’m conjecting. I’m a conjector), but it’s easy to imagine rolling news channels with banners stating “M6 Traffic Jam Reaches Sixth Day *sticks bottom lip out”, “Man Found Guilty Of Sex Act With Goat *eeuuggghhh” and “Osama Bin Laden Captured *punches air with fist”.  Well, actually the last one is hard to imagine.  But at least emoting by using the asterisk is some progress from using smileys and emoticons, which is just abusing perfectly good punctuation-marks in order to make a stupid bloody sideways face.

    6.  Internationalism.  As cultures interact on Twitter, entire national traits will disappear as the world becomes a more homogenous place.  After all, anyone who is aware of the Twitter phenomenon that has been @theashes, will have noted that, after 234 years of trying, an American has been finally converted to following the glorious sport of cricket.  This means that, in a mere 71,839,532,700 years, the entire population of the United States will be cricket lovers, and the world will be all the better for that.  And then we can start converting China.  Seriously, Cricket will be the world sport in…(Nope, my computer isn’t powerful enough to compute that.  Probably at about the time when people return to the sea and the dinosaurs come back in their meteor).

    7.  LOL.  As the phrase “LOL” becomes so ubiquitous that every last feckless bastard ends their tweets with it (this will probably happen in about six days time) and we come not to notice that we’re doing it altogether and forget its original meaning, there will come a moment when someone actually wants to write “laughing out loud” which, as it takes up too many characters, they will abbreviate to LOL.  And as all tweets will already be suffixed “LOL”, the tweet “LOL.  LOL.” will eventually occur.  And that will be the moment that Twitter, or humanity (or both) will implode.  Or explode.  Either way, there will definitely be a plosion of some sort.  LOL.

  • 7 Reasons They Were Very Wrong

    7 Reasons They Were Very Wrong

    It’s the 3rd of December and, to save you wondering why that’s significant and making you worry that you’ve forgotten your birthday or Easter or something, we’ll tell you.  On this day, in 1929, U.S. President, Herbert Hoover, delivered the first State of the Union Address since the Wall Street Crash to Congress. But this wasn’t your run of the mill State of the Union Address where nothing much of interest gets said.  Well, it was, but in the middle of all of the traditional consciousness-bothering guff, Herbert Hoover said something so obviously, epically and unarguably wrong that he has inspired us to bring you seven of our favourite examples of wrongness.

    President Herbert Hoover with arms aloft next to a microphone.
    President Hoover. Talking.

    1.  Herbert Hoover.  “While the crash only took place six months ago, I am convinced that we have now passed the worst and with continuity of effort we shall rapidly recover.”  And following those fine, rousing, confident words, America and the rest of the world plunged into The Great Depression, which saw American production fall by 46%, foreign trade fall by 70%, unemployment rocket by 607% and shanty-towns filled with the homeless spring up around every major U.S. city.  They called them Hoovervilles.

    2.  Dr Dionysius Lardner. “Rail travel at high speed is not possible, because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of asphyxia.” The professor of Natural Philosophy and Astronomy at University College London was wrong on two levels here. One; trains don’t actually reach high-speed in this country because there is always a poxy cow on the line, and two; if passengers unable to breathe did get on a train, they would already be dead.

    3.  Glenn McGrath. The great Australian bowler predicted Ashes whitewashes in 2005, 2009 & 2010/11. With England on the receiving end. He was wrong. The fact that he got it right in 2006/7 is more a testament to infinite monkey theorem than to any logical analysis*.  And to the fact that England were rubbish.**

    4.  Sir William Preece. The chief engineer of the British Post Office said in 1876, “The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.”  So in Victorian Britain, not all boys were up chimneys or in the workhouse; they were carrying messages which, according to Sir William Preece, is the ideal way to have a chat with your mother who lives a hundred and fifty miles away.  “Hello Mother, how are you?”, you would write, before summoning one of the multitudinous boys to bear your message to her.  And when he returned, breathlessly, a mere fortnight later with the reply, “Fine, thank you,” you would send him straight back again with a note inscribed, “And how’s Father?”.   In the Preecian vision of the future of communication, Americans could have a ten-minute-long conversation with their mothers while the British would have a forty-two-week-long one which would cost the lives of approximately nine urchins.  Perhaps to make his idea more marketable to the communications industry he considered the slogan: The future’s bright, the future’s boys.  Or perhaps not.

    5.  Newsweek, In an issue looking into the future of travel, Newsweek magazine carried this prediction of popular holiday destinations for the late 1960s. “And for the tourist who really wants to get away from it all, safaris in Vietnam.” Erm…yeah.  Now Newsweek weren’t totally wrong here.  Vietnam did receive a massive influx of American tourists with rifles in the late 1960s, it’s just that they weren’t there to safari.  Or to sit by the pool.

    6.  Lord Kelvin. In 1883, the President of the Royal Society, said, “X-Rays will prove to be a hoax”. To this day, I bet he wishes he had said the ‘X-Files’. It’s a shame though really, because if X-Rays were a hoax then that cracked fibula I suffered could also have been a hoax. As would be the inevitable snapped fibula. And all the surgery. In fact, my whole life would have been a hoax. But it’s not. Because X-Rays are real.  And so am I.***

    7.  Major General John Sedgewick. While directing artillery placements, Sedgewick and his corps came under fire from Confederate sharpshooters about a thousand yards away.  As his officers and men ducked and scurried away, General Sedgewick loftily dismissed the notion of taking cover saying, “What? Men dodging this way for single bullets? What will you do when they open fire along the whole line? I am ashamed of you. They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist…”.  They were his last words.

    *Glen McGrath is an infinite monkey.  You heard it here first.

    **Except Ian Bell.

    ***Jonathan Lee is real.  You heard it here first.

  • 7 Reasons That Ex-Footballers Should Appear At News Events

    7 Reasons That Ex-Footballers Should Appear At News Events

    One of the most bizarre aspects of the Raoul Moat story earlier this year was the arrival of Gazza during the police stand-off with Moat.  Gazza turned up in a taxi with some beer, a fishing rod, some cans of lager and a chicken.  This seemed like a one-off occurrence that would never be repeated.  But then, last Sunday, the BBC reported that ex-footballers were turning up at the site where Chilean miners are currently trapped.  They didn’t name any players, leading us to wonder if it was Gazza again, but that set us thinking.  With their perceived self-obsession and sense of other-worldliness, surely there’s no news event that can’t be improved by the appearance of an ex-footballer? Oh, by the way, we know that Robbie Savage isn’t an former-footballer yet, but he does play like one.

    1.  Jamie Redknapp Appears At The Election Of David Cameron. “Dave, Dave, it’s me, Jamie.  I brought you a Nintendo Wii and a lamb bhuna.  That bird’s a bit fat isn’t she.  Where’s my hand?”

    2.  Michel Platini Appears At The Liberation Of Paris. “General De Gaulle!  General De Gaulle!  It is I, Michel, of the Union des Associations Européennes de Football.  I ‘ave brought you a bicycle and some cheese .  Don’t you worry.  I’ll make sure ze English pay for this abomination.  Coming over here, liberating our France, who do they sink they are?”

    3.  Roy Keane Appears At The Trial Of Saddam Hussein. “Saddam, it’s me, Roy.  I brought you some potcheen and absolutely no prawn sandwiches whatsoever.  I grew a beard just like yours.  Grrrr.  I’m fierce, me.  I never blink, look.  Never.   Grrrr.

    4.  Robbie Savage Appears At The Salem Witch Trials. “Hey witches, it’s me, Savvo.  I brought you some hair putty and digestive biscuits.  Don’t I look nice.  I just came to let you know that I get all of my trainers for free.  Hey.   Hey!  Put me down…Why are you tying me to a pole?  I’ve got a Lamborghini.

    5.  Bryan Robson Appears At The JFK Assassination. “John, Jackie.  It’s me, Bryan.  I brought you some Brown Ale and an apple crumble.  Ooh, that looks nasty.  I had an injury like that in 1983, 1987, 1988 and 1991.”

    6.  Alan Hansen Appears At The Siege Of Troy. “Hey Trojans, it’s me, Alan.  I brought you nothing.  I did, however, find this large wooden horse outside the gates so I wheeled it in for you.  I’ve been analysing your defence and it looks rock-solid at the back, both centrally and in the flanks.  This siege is men against boys.  Well done.  Lawro would have been here with me but he’s got a cold and is a bit hoarse.  He paid me to say that.

    7.  Peter Reid Appears During The Wall Street Crash. “Hey Bankers, it’s me, Reidy.  I’ve brought you some Wagon Wheels and a motivational speech.  Ahem.  Though we find ourselves in adversity, things are never as bad as they seem and we can still turn this round before the end of trading…hey!   You shouldn’t go out there, we’re on the eighth floor.  Come back.  Lads…lads…