7 Reasons

Tag: golf

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Cruises Are More Fun That You’d Think

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Cruises Are More Fun That You’d Think

    When you think of cruise holidays, what do you think of? One too many blue rinses? Families of chavs dive bombing the swimming pool every five seconds? You wouldn’t be alone in thinking this, but in reality cruise holidays are a lot of fun and today we will provide you with seven wonderful reasons why.

    7 Reasons Cruises Are More Fun Than You’d Think

    1.  Food glorious food. Holidays, my friend, are for eating, and if you opt for a cruise you will be surprised by the quality and sheer amount of food on offer. Breakfast buffets piled high with croissants, fresh fruit, yoghurt, not to mention the wonder that is the ‘omelette station’ – and that’s just breakfast! Try and save room for the evening’s fine dining – the food served of an evening on certain cruise ships can rival even the fanciest Michelin star restaurants. Dine on salads before you go, because we guarantee that you’ll still be able to wear anything that doesn’t have an elasticated waistband by the end of your trip!

    2.  A chance to be fancy. On what other type of holiday do you have the chance to don your finest glad-rags each and every evening? Exactly. One of the best things about cruise holidays is just how formal the evenings are – fine food, wine and company teamed with an excuse to wear that ball gown that’s been hanging in the back of your closet for years.

    3.  Everything is within your reach. Nowadays cruise ships have every activity that you could possibly want to try, all on one gigantic floating city. Whether you fancy a spot of golf, trying your hand on the surf simulator or scrambling up the climbing wall – you won’t have to venture far from your cabin to do it. For those of you who don’t like anything this active, there will be swimming pools and sunbeds galore (no matter how many Germans are on your ship to get there before you!) and you can also while away a few hours in the on-board library or cinema. There is something for everyone.

    4.  Avoid the perils of packing and unpacking. No-one enjoys cramming all of their holidays essentials into one tiny bag and jamming it shut via the use of all of your body weight! This is a task that should be repeated only once or twice per trip max. The joy of a cruise is that although you are visiting multiple destinations – you only have to unpack once! Splendid.

    5.  See multiple places. Admit it – airports are annoying! Cruises eradicate the need to face stern-faced security officials menacingly telling you to remove your belt, and that’s before we even get on to the horror of aeroplane food! Phew. On a cruise you can literally wake up in a different place every day without the hassle that comes with getting yourself there.

    6.  Superb service. Let’s be honest, the service that you experience in that Costa del Sol all-inclusive hotel is, more often than not, more Faulty Towers than First Class! Not so upon a cruise ship. The staff are typically interesting folk who have seen the world, and the performers wouldn’t be out of place on the West End stage.

    7.  Booze is included. If you want to start the day with a Bloody Mary, casually move into late morning Pimms, afternoon Champagne and evening cocktails – you can do so! Just try to avoid drunken walks on the deck!

  • 7 Reasons That Golf Is The Wrong Sport For Businessmen

    7 Reasons That Golf Is The Wrong Sport For Businessmen

     

     

    Businessmen play a lot of golf, and business golf is a accepted part of business culture – there are even books about it.  Here are 7 reasons that golf is the wrong sport for businessmen.

    A business man in a suit with a golf club and a golf club preparing to tee off in a game of business golf

    1.  Location.  Business takes place in the city – an urban environment – but golf takes place in the suburbs or in rural environs.  Therefore, golf is in the wrong place.  As a businessman, this means you have to travel to the golf course.  What you need is a sport that you can play in cities, thus saving travel-time and expense.  Snooker or pool would be ideal.  After all, things always go better with a drink and you’ll have a big table that you can put your paperwork on.

     

    2.  Stuff.  Golf requires an astonishing amount of equipment.  There’s all manner of paraphernalia to lug around – so much of it, in fact, that you need to carry an enormous golf-bag, or hire a man to carry it for you.  Some people even use electric buggies (a whole special car to convey golf equipment!).  This is clearly ridiculous.  Carrying your golf equipment around is incompatible with being businesslike.  What you need is sports equipment that fits into a briefcase.  A Frisbee is perfect.

     

    3.  Assessment If you compete against potential business partners over a few holes of golf, what are you really learning about them?  That they don’t like to get their pink trousers muddy?  That they can chat about very little while waiting to tee off?  A more challenging sport will teach you far more about them.  Rugby union, for example.  You’ll learn far more about your potential business partner’s drive, desire, sense of ethics and commitment when he’s growling, biting your ear and trying to remove your testicles with his hand or when he’s spear-tackling your head of marketing.  Rugby union is a team game.  There’s no “I” in rugby union.  Well, there is, but someone will poke it out sooner or later.

     

    4.  Clothes.  Golf requires you to physically exert yourself.  Golf also requires a different set of clothes than business.  This means that you have to shower and change once your round of golf has finished.  This is inefficient use of time.  This is time you could spend working and earning money.  Unless, that is, you earn your money in the men’s changing rooms, in which case…er…er…do carry on.

     

    5.  Women.  You don’t see women heading out to the golf course to “network” or play “business golf”; they usually prefer to conduct their business at their business premises, and it’s quite hard to fault that sort of logic.  If you’re playing business golf, you’re doing business very inefficiently – as you’re only meeting men.  You need to be in an environment that’s agreeable to both sexes.  I don’t know what that place is, but there must be at least one, even if it is always at the wrong temperature.

     

    6.  Length.  Golf takes too long.  It takes you out of the office for hours.  If you must use the company’s time to participate in sport, you could find one that takes less time.  100 metre sprinting is a quick sport.  Here’s how to combine it successfully with business:  Walk to a point that’s 100 metres away from your desk, then run back to your desk as fast as you can; because that’s where you should be – at your desk – getting work done.

     

    7.  Displacement.  Is your work really so dull and frustrating that you need to go to a field and repeatedly smack a ball with a stick?  Aren’t you just avoiding work when you’re playing golf?  If you didn’t hang around on the golf course “working”, then your actual working day would be so much shorter and you could spend your free time doing what you really want to do.  Spending more time with your family or…er…playing golf.

  • 7 Reasons It’s Dangerous To Drive A Golf Buggy Up The M4

    7 Reasons It’s Dangerous To Drive A Golf Buggy Up The M4

    1.  It’s the M4. What sort of road is that to start on? Surely logic would dictate that you build up to it? B roads to A roads to motorways. And then you wouldn’t start on the M4 would you? It would go M1, M2, M3 then M4. Fail to prepare, prepare to get arrested.

    2.  Breakdown Cover. The AA and the RAC don’t provide cover for golf buggies. Which means if you get stuck between junctions you have got to push the thing bloody miles. That is not good news for your back.

    3.  Speed. Or should that be the lack of? A golf buggy, while apparently quite nippy zooming over the fairways, is in fact quite slow when placed next to the more roadworthy vehicle. Slow cars cause road rage. Slow golf buggies cause bent putters.

    4.  England Calling. So assuming you get on the M4 in Wales – which I understand is very feasible – you could well end up heading into England. There is nothing wrong with this of course – it is the greatest country in the world after all – but then you’d need to get back. And that means you have to pay the toll to get back over the bridge. What is so dangerous about that? Well quite a lot when the barrier crashes down before you have managed to get your foot on the accelerator. Golf balls everywhere.

    5.  Weather. If there is one design feature the standard golf buggy lacks, it is windscreen wipers. Oh, and a windscreen. If it starts raining or snowing you are not only going to freeze, but you will also struggle to see. And no, goggles do not help. If you end up stuck in a field you should think yourself very lucky.

    6.  Beverage holders. There aren’t any. Another epic design failure. The chances are if you are driving a golf buggy up the motorway you have somewhere to go. As we have already established you are not going to be going where you want to go very quickly and you are also going to freeze to death. The sensible option in these circumstances is to buy a hot drink and hold it between your thighs. That’s a health and safety issue right there.

    7.  Lights. Unless you have stolen a top of the range model, there aren’t any lights on the front of your buggy. Which means you are going to have to use the torch facility on your phone. This of course means you will be driving one handed with a mug of boiling soup between your thighs and a Police car roaring up the road behind you. In such circumstances people have been known to panic. Panicking makes you do rash things. You might chuck your phone under a lorry or something.