7 Reasons It’s Dangerous To Drive A Golf Buggy Up The M4
1. It’s the M4. What sort of road is that to start on? Surely logic would dictate that you build up to it? B roads to A roads to motorways. And then you wouldn’t start on the M4 would you? It would go M1, M2, M3 then M4. Fail to prepare, prepare to get arrested.
2. Breakdown Cover. The AA and the RAC don’t provide cover for golf buggies. Which means if you get stuck between junctions you have got to push the thing bloody miles. That is not good news for your back.
3. Speed. Or should that be the lack of? A golf buggy, while apparently quite nippy zooming over the fairways, is in fact quite slow when placed next to the more roadworthy vehicle. Slow cars cause road rage. Slow golf buggies cause bent putters.
4. England Calling. So assuming you get on the M4 in Wales – which I understand is very feasible – you could well end up heading into England. There is nothing wrong with this of course – it is the greatest country in the world after all – but then you’d need to get back. And that means you have to pay the toll to get back over the bridge. What is so dangerous about that? Well quite a lot when the barrier crashes down before you have managed to get your foot on the accelerator. Golf balls everywhere.
5. Weather. If there is one design feature the standard golf buggy lacks, it is windscreen wipers. Oh, and a windscreen. If it starts raining or snowing you are not only going to freeze, but you will also struggle to see. And no, goggles do not help. If you end up stuck in a field you should think yourself very lucky.
6. Beverage holders. There aren’t any. Another epic design failure. The chances are if you are driving a golf buggy up the motorway you have somewhere to go. As we have already established you are not going to be going where you want to go very quickly and you are also going to freeze to death. The sensible option in these circumstances is to buy a hot drink and hold it between your thighs. That’s a health and safety issue right there.
7. Lights. Unless you have stolen a top of the range model, there aren’t any lights on the front of your buggy. Which means you are going to have to use the torch facility on your phone. This of course means you will be driving one handed with a mug of boiling soup between your thighs and a Police car roaring up the road behind you. In such circumstances people have been known to panic. Panicking makes you do rash things. You might chuck your phone under a lorry or something.