7 Reasons

Tag: digital

  • 7 Reasons I Am The New Rebecca

    7 Reasons I Am The New Rebecca

    7 Reasons I Am The New RebeccaHello. Regular readers of 7 Reasons will know that on Sundays we do things a bit differently. Well, today is very different. What you are about to read is a job application. A live job application. We have a lot to get through so I’ve broken it down for you.

    If you are a regular 7 Reasons reader head straight to (A).
    If you are a POKE employee (particularly one who is in charge of hiring me) head to (B).
    If you are the person who keeps finding our site by Googling ‘hot woman’ your day has finally arrived. Just stare at the picture.

    (A) Yes, so this is a live job application for the position of Social Media Copywriter. Very briefly here’s what has happened so far. On Thursday the London-based agency POKE announced they’d be running a live recruitment process via twitter on Friday. The aim was to find a new Rebecca to replace the current Rebecca who is going off to play her recorder or something. This was poor timing on POKE’s part as I was at a wedding on Friday. So, I needed a plan. I set myself up as @TheNewRebecca and then requested a bit more time. Luckily, I got it. Which is why I am able to apply today. Right, got that? Good. Ignore (B) and read my job application.

    (B) Hello future colleagues. Some of you might be here because you are following @TheNewRebecca (good choice) others might be here because you’re doing the sifting process. Whichever it is I shall try and make this as painless as possible. So, sorry I couldn’t be with you on Friday for the live application process, I was at a wedding. The good news is I have no more Friday weddings in my diary this year so I will make it into work five days a week. Hopefully you appreciate that kind of commitment. Right, that’s the formalities out of the way, here are my responses to the tasks.

    #poketask1. We have two Thor premiere tickets to give away on Orange Film Club. Think up a comp & tweet how you’d announce it.

    Quick! Help Thor save #OrangeWednesdays! Upload your most rousing speech to http://on.fb.me/oowfc. The best wins two Thor premiere tickets!”

    #poketask2. Someone complains that @PizzaExpress was too busy on Weds because of #OrangeWednesdays. Extinguish their grumpiness in a tweet.

    Ah, the by-product of being a genius. We all turn out on #OrangeWednesdays I’m afraid. (PS: Fancy beating the queue next time? Book ahead).

    EDIT: On Wednesday 13th April, @TheNewRebecca decided she’d be clever. She tweeted, “Yet again Pizza Express is heaving because of #OrangeWednesdays. I need someone to extinguish my grumpiness.” Unfortunately this backfired substantially when some even cleverer bod hiding beneath the guise of @OrangeFilm promptly replied, “We tried to respond with your #poketask2 response, but alas, it was over 140 characters. tsk tsk. ;)”. Now, I was pretty damn sure it wasn’t. Attention to detail is something of a forte of mine. So I checked. And I was right. 139 characters. Perfect. But then it dawned on me. Not many people have a username as short as ‘@’. Not liking defeat, I replied, “My defence: Yes, my response is 139 characters leaving little/no room for a username. However, it’s a DM. More special that way.” But I knew I was pushing the boundaries. Thankfully the time was just gone 6pm. The deadline for entries wasn’t for another 24 hours. Time then to reword my #poketask2 response taking into account a 14 letter username (based on @TheNewRebecca). So, here it is. My new #poketask2 response:

    Ah, the by-product of being a genius. We all turn out on #OrangeWednesdays I’m afraid. (Psst: The really smart ones book).”

    #poketask3. Tweet three ways you’d get people to enter your competition from task one.

    1. Pop-up video on the Orange Wednesdays website showing Thor (probably me in a Thor-like costume) urging people to act if they don’t want the darkest forces of Asgard destroying Orange Wednesdays. This would also be posted on the Orange Film Club facebook page and tweeted via the relative Orange accounts.

    2. SMS alerts sent out to Orange customers telling them that the existence of Orange Wednesdays is under threat.

    3. Regular tweeting of incoming videos throughout the contest from @orangefilm and @orangethefeed.

    #poketask4. Oops. We just wrote ‘exited’ instead of ‘excited’ on our Facebook wall & everyone’s saying we’re half-baked. What do you do?

    I write: “And when I say ‘exited’, I clearly mean ‘excited’. It’s true, I am having severe problems with my ‘c’s today. You should count yourselves lucky though, already today I’ve been asked to leave the office twice because of problems with my ‘r’s.”

    #poketask5. Someone’s posted on Orange Film Club: “Tracy, you’re an idiot”. What you would do/say?

    It depends on the context. If I feel it could be construed as ‘banter’, I would leave it and monitor the conversation. If, on the other hand, it was clearly posted with malicious intent I would delete it and write a general reminder to everyone that we are a friendly bunch and abuse won’t be tolerated. There’s a place for that type of thing and that place is ITV2.

    Of course it could have been Tracy who posted the message herself. In which case she is an idiot and I would ‘like’ the status.

    #poketask6. Think up a sticky, smart hashtag for our new project all about personalised Royal Wedding memorabilia. (Yep, you read that right).

    #DuchyUnoriginals

    #poketask7. Righty. That’s today’s tweet-a-thon over. Anything else you want to let me know?

    Well yes, there is actually. I think this would be a good point to announce that my name isn’t really Rebecca. Nor do I own a pair of orange shutter shades or a splendid moustache. The finger though, is very much mine. So who am I? Well, when I’m not being The New Rebecca, I call myself Jon and one of my side-projects is this, 7 Reasons. The premiss of 7 Reasons is simple. To give seven reasons for something, every day. And that is what my co-founder Marc and I have done since latter 2009. Topics have varied from 7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Date A Polar Bear to 7 Reasons You Should Not Kayak Across The Pacific Ocean to – just because it is mentioned in the tasks above – 7 Reasons To Have A Pizza Express Tattoo. Anyway, given that there were seven tasks, it seemed logical to use 7 Reasons. And it’ll also up our unique visitor count which will please Marc no end.

    And one final thing, just to show you I get results from innovative social media use, I met my fiancée by paraphrasing this guy.

  • Russian Roulette Sunday: The Images

    Russian Roulette Sunday: The Images

    Hello!  Happy Sunday! (or Friday, if you’re one of the 7 Reasons team editing this post before scheduling it for Sunday)

    Images are very important to us here at 7 Reasons and we always try to put them together in-house because, though what we post usually isn’t about an image, there’s always at least one picture attached to what we’ve  written.  We wanted to communicate the significance that we place on arresting and original visuals to you, so we decided that today we would chose three each of our favourite images from previous posts (plus one we’d used from Google Images by way of contrast) and hold an earnest and thoughtful contemplation of the importance of imagery in our posts and the technical and aesthetic merits of the selected illustrations as pieces of artwork.  Obviously we failed, so here’s Marc Fearns and Jonathan Lee bickering about pictures instead.

    Hitler’s Hand

    Originally used in 7 Reasons That Size is Important.

    MF.  This is probably my favourite of the images I’ve put together for 7 Reasons.  It’s not technically brilliant (in fact, it’s quite flawed), but boring stuff aside, it ticks all of my boxes: It’s black and white; It has Hitler in it; it has some sort of Photoshop-induced oddity (the big hand), and it has a random, bizarre element to it (the triangle apparently embedded in Himmler’s head).  If it weren’t for Jon’s civilising influence, 7 Reasons would probably look a lot more like World War II than it does already.

    JL. I have a serious problem with this image. It seems to suggest the Nazis were very handy. The Nazis were not very handy. They weren’t even quite handy. The Nazis were rather irritating and quite frankly caused more harm than good. I also have a problem with Himmler. Unlike Marc I am not struck by the triangle in his head, but his the binoculars. Why did Himmler need binoculars? Was he a part time ornithologist? Was he a pervert? Why are they pointing at his trousers? This picture provides more questions than answers. And that I find rather frustrating.

    7 Reasons Playing With A Cuddly Toy 2010 Was Not A Let Down
    Lamb & Jon Photoshoot

    Originally used in 7 Reasons Playing With A Cuddly Toy 2010 Was Not A Let Down.

    JL. I like this picture because I look like an idiot. And in this life there just aren’t enough people prepared to be idiots. Sure, there are idiotic people, but that’s by accident. It takes a very special kind of person to deliberately make themselves look like an idiot and I am very proud to say I am very special. It also reminds me of that great day last September with Lamb. Oh, what fun was had. Rock on.

    MF.  I’m less keen on this picture than Jon.  While it does feature a pair of Aviators, which is always a good thing, it’s lacking something quite fundamental.  Hitler.  Or the war generally.  Also, outside of the framing, there barely a straight line in it.  And what’s with the archway?  What sort of oddball has an archway in their house?  And he’s wearing a hat indoors which, as any grandparent would be very keen to point out, is a #manfail.  The only thing that makes this image good is the albino monkey.

    The Anglo-French Flag

    Originally used in 7 Reasons The Anglo-Franco Defence Agreement is a Good Idea

    MF.  This Anglo-French flag is something that I’m rather proud of. I constructed it from a picture of a British flag, a picture of a French flag and a picture of a silk sheet (which is how I got the creased fluttering effect). It wasn’t even in the post itself, it was the featured image, which means that it appears next to the post on menus as a thumbnail and it was in the Latest Posts window at the top of our home page for five days. You might wonder why I’d go to such an effort to create an image that would be barely seen but, to me anyway, that sort of detail is important, and I like to think that 7 Reasons is all the better for having high standards. That the image of the intertwined British and French flags brought Jon to near-apoplexy is purely coincidence.

    JL. As Marc indicates, this picture absolutely disgusts me. I don’t mind the United Kingdom and France joining forces if we are beating up some bad guys, but to merge the Union Jack with the Drapeau Tricolore is nothing less than treason. I have had to ask myself many searching questions since Marc posted this. Should I turn him in? Can I continue to work with him? How the hell did he get that creased fluttering effect? In the end I have allowed Marc to remain living his life in York. The prospect of writing 7 Reasons on a daily basis was just too much to deal with. Rest-assured though, he’s had a warning. A severe one. And, as he’s posted it again, I shall be poking him on facebook too.

    7 Reasons You Should Never Get Cary Grant & Carrie Grant Mixed Up
    Beauty & The Beast

    Originally used in 7 Reasons You Should Never Get Cary Grant & Carrie Grant Mixed Up.

    JL. Let me clarify one thing, I don’t have a ‘Cary Grant dressed as a woman’ fantasy. I think it’s important to remind you of this now as I can see why you may be thinking such a thing. It’s a disturbing sight. I don’t think there is any getting away from that. So why do I love it? Well that comes down to the photoshopping. Do you know how difficult it is finding a picture of Cary Grant and a picture of Carrie Grant that will go together seemlessly? No, of course you don’t. The consequences of your actions rarely lead you to such an investigation. The consequences of starting 7 Reasons very much do. So, yes, I was delighted that I found two pictures that would work together. It’s not perfect. If I had my time again I would do a bit of work on their skin tones, but for the purpose of the post it did the job. And in 7 Reasons circles that means victory.

    MF. For once, I agree with absolutely everything that Jon said about this image.  In his third sentence.  I do, however, have some observations of my own.  Firstly, bloody Twilight: When you’re a vampire and you’re not even the scariest person in the background of a picture, you’re doing it wrong and you should just bloody stop.  Secondly, there’s a terrifying bald man wearing an ill-fitting white suit and eyeliner with someone’s severed arm tucked under his own arm.  I haven’t slept properly since I saw this.  Thirdly, I find Jon’s Cary/Carrie Grant hybrid creature more attractive than the actual Carrie Grant.  Or Cary Grant.  This is troubling.  And Jon never responds to my emails begging him to photoshop more of them.

    Lungs, Heart, Asparagus.

    Originally used in 7 Reasons That We Should Grow Vegetables in our Lungs.

    MF. I put this one together to complement the title of the piece. It’s an original x-ray with the heart and lungs highlighted which I found online and added asparagus to. I’ve chosen this image not just because I’m pleased with the way it turned out, though I am rather. I’ve chosen it because of the almost boundless amusement it gives me every time someone discovers it searching Google Images for x-rays of lungs. I just like knowing that at any given moment someone, somewhere in the world is looking at it thinking, “Blimey! (or perhaps a colloquial equivalent) That looks nasty. I’m going to treat asparagus with more respect now”. I feel certain that one day, this picture will turn up in a medical journal, or on a GP’s surgery wall.

    JL. Who eats asparagus whole? Is that even possible? This is just one of the 7 Reasons images that has inspired readers all over the road. A bit like that man in Norwich who – having been so inspired by a post last June – tried to break the world record for number of Jaffa Cakes eaten in one minute and was subsequently sick all over the biscuit aisle. Now, I am not for a minute encouraging you to see how much whole asparagus you can eat at once – that would be highly irresponsible of us – but if you manage more than five I would love to know.

    7 Reasons To Kiss Properly
    Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

    Originally used in 7 Reasons You Should Always Kiss Properly.

    JL. I know what you are thinking, ‘Typical Jon. Two of his three image choices feature him.” Yep, I can’t argue with maths. But let’s look at this photo. At least for as long a you feel comfortable doing so. It is an animated GIF! How bloody exciting! But more than that it is a reminder. A reminder of how far my kissing technique has advanced since last March and – if you’ve been using the above as some kind of guide – how far backwards yours has gone. Lovely stuff.

    MF.  “AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” was my initial reaction to this image when I first saw it eleven months ago.  And now that I am older, wiser and more mature, on reviewing this image I would say that my reaction is now AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”.  Note that Jon has attempted to baffle us with maths to distract from the inherent narcissism of his selections, but let’s consider it carefully.  This, as Jon points out, is an animated GIF, so it’s not one picture of him, it’s three pictures of him.  This means that four out of Jon’s five image choices are of himself.  That’s 80%.  Anyway, that aside, I like this picture.  On the first occasion I viewed it I remembered that I was supposed to unblock the kitchen sink, and the repeat viewing has caused me to agree with my wife that I spend too long on the internet and I’ve now closed my laptop, sellotaped it shut and placed it under a sofa.  With an anvil on top.

    Raw Sausages

    Originally used in 7 Reasons That December 24th Should be Known as the Day of the Sausage.

    MF.  Aha!  I remember this piece.  Sadly, I also remember this picture.  It makes me feel sick.  It’s not just that the raw former-animal bits are shiny and greasy looking and some of them appear to be inside used condoms, it’s that I don’t even remember which of us added this to the (co-written) piece.  I realise what must have been going through the mind of the person that uploaded it.  “Sausages!  Sausages!  We’ve written a piece about sausages and now I need an image of sausages – any image of sausages – right now, to go with the piece about sausages!” And, in the grip of a deadline-panic, that person will have just grabbed the first image of sausages that they saw and attached it to the post.  Truly horrible.

    JL. This is a perfect example of what one calls, ‘shooting oneself in the foot’. Not that I shot myself, Marc shot me. And himself. And our argument. Using this image kind of reminds me of that day I sent my CV out to dozens of prospective employers and realised a week later that it didn’t contain my contact details. That section about my ‘outstanding attention to detail’ lost all credibility after that. Now, I’m not saying that the idea of the Day of the Sausage lost credibility with the inclusion of this image, just that – if such a day ever was created – Marc and I would not be part of the marketing team. And that’s sad.

  • 7 Reasons The Cassette Is Better Than The CD

    7 Reasons The Cassette Is Better Than The CD

    1.  CD Case Design Flaw: Part A. Whichever genius designed the CD case was/is not a genius. A genius would not have made the breadth of the case so bloody tiny that the name of the artist/album is impossible to see unless you have your nose pressed up against it. The breadth of the cassette case was ideal. Perfectly readable from a sensible distance and far less risk of adding a plastic splinter to your face.

    2.  CD Case Design Flaw: Part B. One for the environmentalists among you. The CD case uses three parts. The cassette case uses two. It isn’t difficult to work out where Global Warming came from is it?

    3.  Double-sided. When you bought an album on tape, you were in fact getting two mini albums. And A-side and a B-side. Musicians actually took this into account when putting the track listing together. And it made a huge difference. Oasis’ Definitely Maybe and What’s The Story (Morning Glory?) were both released on tape. Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants was not. Coincidence?

    4.  Sturdiness. A cassette is to a hammer what a HobNob is a to a cup of tea. The CD is a rich tea finger. Pathetic.

    5.  Write Protection Override. In the good old days when cassettes appeared on every shelf in Our Price, you could go to bed on a Sunday night happy in the knowledge that you wouldn’t ever have to set foot in that store. That is because you’d just used a bit of masking tape on your father’s copy of Born In The USA and recorded that week’s Top 20 over it.

    6.  Manual Rewind. Sticking your little finger into a cassette and giving it a turn one way or the other made you feel in control of your music collection. Sticking your little finger through the middle of a CD and spinning it makes you look like a prick. And you’ll get a knuckle cut.

    7.  Labeling. It was so easy to write on a cassette. Usually it came with specially designed labels anyway. All you had to do was get out the biro. With a CD though, you need a special pen. Does a special pen come with a blank CD? Does it hell. You have to go and find a branch of bloody Hobby Craft. And of course that is miles away. On an industrial estate. Next to a Wickes and Charlies Car Wash and a burger van.