7 Reasons

Tag: Culture

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Child Will Learn More History In Spain Than School

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Child Will Learn More History In Spain Than School

    We all remember history lessons, don’t we? Falling asleep at the back of the class while a droning teacher with all the inspiration of a brick tried to stimulate some interest in the War of the Spanish Succession, or the Defenestration of Prague? Spain has such a rich and varied history that it provides the ideal canvas for a child’s mind, making dry-as-dust stuff about the past really come alive.

    Family holidays here are a relaxed affair, with welcoming hosts, good food and accessible, scenic roads. Car hire in Spain is affordable and easily arranged, and there’s an enormous range of cultural festivals and events on throughout the year, making this the perfect destination for a trip learning about Europe’s past and present without it feeling like a lesson at all.

    Alcazar of Segovia
    Alcazar of Segovia – via tripsgeek.com

    1.  A unique cultural mix. Spain was the battleground for Christian kingdoms of the north and Moorish Caliphates of the south, who slogged it out for centuries until 1492, when the Christians captured Granada. Across Spain there’s a fabulous mix of Gothic and Arabic in the architecture – a lesson in how multiculturalism can transform and beautify the landscape of any country.

    2.  Castles and battles. The phrase ‘Castles in Spain’ may refer to unrealistic daydreams, but Spain really does have some of the most magical and dreamlike castles in Europe. The Alcazar of Segovia was the model for Disney’s Magic Kingdom, a soaring confection of turrets and towers that would make the perfect backdrop for any medieval make-believe.

    3.  Extravagant festivals. Every village, town and city across Spain has its festivals, and these are usually noisy and colourful occasions. The week leading up to Easter is especially atmospheric, with candle-lit processions through the streets to churches and cathedrals to mark Holy Week. At the other extreme, at the Tomatina in Valencia in August thousands of people spend three days pelting each other with tomatoes.

    4.  Gaudi’s experimental cathedral. There’s no other cathedral in the world quite like Gaudi’s Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. It has seven spires for a start, and looks nothing like the staid and brooding cathedrals you find elsewhere in Europe. The ‘warped Gothic’ architecture makes it look like it’s melting in the heat, and bright mosaics reflect the sun like bowls of Caribbean fruit. Eat your heart out, Cologne!

    5.  What the Romans did for everyone. Spain was an important Roman province, and in fact the first non-Roman emperor, Trajan, was born here. Roman remains litter the Spanish landscape and one of the most awesome is the great aqueduct of Segovia. Of course, bath houses were never far away either – when not wiping out all opposition, the legionnaires liked nothing better than a good, manly scrub.

    6.  Gardens of the Alhambra. The Moors tended to enjoy cool fountains and shaded gardens, and in the Alhambra at Granada you can see that they and their northern Christian counterparts were as different as chalk and cheese when it came to relaxing and enjoying the finer things in life. On the other hand they did end up being kicked out, so there’s a lesson there somewhere.

    7.  Flamenco. Flamenco, the Spanish national dance, comes from the Arabs and is characterised by mad passions, obsessive jealousy and barely suppressed lust – history in a nutshell. The rhythmic, aggressive stamping takes enormous stamina, and wielding lethal castanets without doing serious damage is a great skill. Just watching a performance can leave you completely exhausted and ready for a tapas and a large glass of chilled Torres Milmanda Chardonnay.

    About the author: David Elliott is a freelance writer who loves to travel, especially in Europe and Turkey. He’s spent most of his adult life in a state of restless excitement but recently decided to settle in North London. He gets away whenever he can to immerse himself in foreign cultures and lap up the history of great cities.

  • 7 Reasons Changi Airport Is An Asian Experience To Remember

    7 Reasons Changi Airport Is An Asian Experience To Remember

    The Great Wall of China. Angkor Wat. Huangguoshu Waterfall. Tubbataha Reef. Mount Kinabalu. All incredible sights in Asia, and all places any right-minded traveller would be keen to tick off their ‘must-visit’ list. Yet to me, each and every single one pales into relative insignificance when up against my most memorable Asian experience. An eight-hour wait at Singapore’s Changi Airport.

    7 Reasons Changi Airport Is An Asian Experience To Remember

    I know what you’re thinking. “Seriously? You prefer a commercialised, busy commuter hub to to the incredible, untouched architecture of Cambodia?” That’s what you’re thinking. Words to that effect anyway. In answer to your question, yes. I am being serious. And here’s why:

    1.  Art. The last thing you want to experience at an airport, particularly if you’re British like I, is that it’s raining inside the terminal. Especially when got on the plane full of optimism and no umbrella. That’s exactly what’s a happening at Changi Airport though. Only, unlike the British rain that gets you wet, this rain is dry and awe-inspiring. ‘Kinetic Rain’, as this relatively new art-installation is called, sees over 1,200 bronze droplets float in harmony throughout Terminal One. You can head to any one of Asia’s many galleries and museums, but you won’t find anything this incredible, engaging and intoxicating. I promise you.

    2.  Piano Man. Usually when I delight an airport with my presence, I have an earphone protruding from at least one ear. This isn’t so I can deter the type of traveller who thinks I’d be a great person to small talk with for two hours – though it helps – it’s because I find counting down to my flight time is much easier when number of songs is used as opposed to minutes. So there I was, strolling around Changi Airport when I came across a man and his piano. Bemoaning the fact that some passengers seem to be able to carry more hand-luggage than others, I took a seat and watched as he sat down and began to tinkle his ivories. For the next forty minutes I was treated to an eclectic mix of music ranging from Norah Jones to Billy Joel and, rather bizarrely, mid-nineties one-hit wonder band Hanson. I’m not going to sit here and tell you he was the greatest pianist I have ever seen. He wasn’t. In fact, he was bordering on abysmal. What I loved though, was that for those few minutes, people from all over the world joined together and appreciated the effort one man was going to to entertain bored, frustrated and tired workers. As you’ll have guessed, he wasn’t a professional pianist either. He was a cleaner at the airport.

    3.  The Birds & The Bees & The Butterflies. There isn’t just one garden at Changi Airport. There are five. Five! Including the world’s first airport butterfly garden. Not only does is it an amazing feat of ingenuity, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more relaxed. Heathrow should really take inspiration and stick a few allotments in Terminal Five.

    4.  Just Passing. One of the most frustrating things for me is that I often land in amazing cities en-route to my final destination, but can’t get out of the airport to spend a few hours under the bright lights. Logistics obviously have a significant part to play in this, and I am not saying it is totally unreasonable for the authorities to expect me to remain within the confounds of whichever terminal I’ve been deposited in, it’s just when I can get out it lets me appreciate that city and country so much more. I might even buy a postcard. I am pleased to say it’s something Changi Airport seem to get. Which is why, if you, as I did, have over five hours to wait for your connecting flight, you can go on a guided tour of Singapore. For free. Which is enough time for the guide to show you The Singapore Flyer, Marina Bay Sands, Chinatown, Little India and catch those who try and do a runner.

    5.  The Slide. Yes, that’s right. Slap bang in the middle of Terminal 3 at Changi Airport is a slide. And when I say a slide, I am not just talking about some children’s slide in a playground – though I suspect there is one – this was (and presumably still is) a 40-foot long, four-storey high slide built purely for men. Real men. And real women too for that matter. Though I have to say it did seem to be universally popular with the male species while our female counterparts looked on in utter bemusement. Still, we didn’t seem to care. We were just interested in who would dare to go down backwards first. It wasn’t me. Which I regret to this day.

    6.  Snooze Chairs. They do exactly what you expect them to. And after a few hours spent on the slide, listening to singing cleaners, examining exotic butterflies and taking photos of the city, you’ll be so glad they do. And they aren’t just pimped up armchairs by the way. These are proper leathered goods with head and leg rests and in-built massagers. Unfortunately, the previous occupant had obviously worn out the batteries in my chair, but I needn’t have worried. No sooner had I started to relax, than a young lady was trying to persuade me to have a fish pedicure. I declined, but it was nice that she cared.

    7.  Asian Humour. Despite Changi Airport living up to their promise that ‘The Feeling is First Class’, my abiding memory of Changi Airport comes from my first trip through there in 2006. And the feeling, at the time at least, was that I had been well and truly ripped-off. Happily walking along one of the airport’s expansive walkways, minding my own business, I was suddenly accosted by half-a-dozen Singaporeans in promotional t-shirts. If I go into the details we’ll be here all day, but to cut a long story short, I may have accidentally uttered the word ‘Yes’ at some point ensuring that thirty-minutes later I was wearing male lipstick. I may also have been momentarily famous in Singapore, but needless to say I haven’t spent too much time investigating.

    So there we have it. 7 Reasons why Changi Airport is the place to go. I guess, though, if we’re to evaluate this further, Changi Airport is really just a visual interpretation of a bigger picture. And that bigger picture is that there’s greatness, reward and male lipstick wherever you look. You’ve just got to have the inclination and desire to get up and start seeking it out. And if a tour of Asian airports isn’t quite your thing, a multi-country holiday arranged by Selective Asia probably will be.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Move Overseas

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Move Overseas

    Ever considered moving to a new country? Perhaps you are restless at home, maybe you just need a fresh start, perhaps there are better career opportunities abroad. Whatever your thoughts, are 7 reasons to convince you.

    7 Reasons To Move Overseas

    1. It’s scary. So, so scary. And it’s not just the big stuff that is scary – family, friends, job, home; it’s the little things as well. Things like not knowing which radio station to listen to, or how to use the bus, or having to ask what obscure children’s programme everyone is talking to. But it’s great because it’s scary. As the great Eleanor Roosevelt said, “do one thing every day that scares you.” Make one of those scary things moving overseas, and that can definitely count for at least a week’s worth of scary things.

    2. You make new friends from scratch. You know when you starting dating someone new and it’s great fun because you get to find out loads about a new person, like where they grew up, their favourite music, how they like their eggs? This is also true of making new friends. It can be tough, because as with potential boyfriend or girlfriend, sometimes they will turn out to be duds. But don’t let that put you off! The one is out there for you!

    3. You get to see another culture from the inside. In a way that you can’t possibly access during a short visit, you will come to know a different culture from a fly-on-the-wall perspective. You watch their TV and find out which newspapers are right wing or left wing. You learn stereotypes and what their comedy is.

    4. Realising you’re a local in a new area is brilliant. The moment you notice you’ve finally stopped using a smartphone app to get you around your new ‘hood is a great moment, because you’ve absorbed your new surroundings. Even better is being asked for directions by a native and being able to give them. And better than that? Bumping into people you know on the street.

    5. Bragging rights on Facebook. Because what could be a better reason to move abroad than making others jealous over social media? “Just chilling at [insert cool location] with [insert cool new friend’s name] before heading to [insert cool band’s gig] and then [insert cool, location-specific activity]. Whatevz.”

    6. Homesickness really sucks. This might not sound like a reason to move overseas particularly, but it is a cathartic experience to have a cry once in a while because a song came up on shuffle that reminds you of home. It makes you value friends and family that much more.

    7. Coming home again is excellent. Returning like the prodigal son, you are showered in love, free drinks, attention and meals. Whether it’s just for Christmas or you’re home for good, seeing, touching and smelling home and all the people in it after a lengthy absence is truly brilliant.

    Author Bio: Vivienne Egan moved to the UK from Australia a year and a half ago. She is a writer for International Healthcare Insurance company, Now Health, and regularly cries at Tim Minchin’s White Wine in the Sun.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Pack It All In And Travel The World

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Pack It All In And Travel The World

    It’s a lovely idea, isn’t it? Far-off places, beautiful beaches, different cultures. Freedom from the daily grind. Until, that is, all the reasons why you shouldn’t pack it all in and travel the world race into your mind to stamp on your embryonic daydream. If you’re not so terrified that you’ve stopped reading altogether, here’s 7 reasons to resuscitate your dream.

    7 Reasons To Pack It All In And Travel The World

    1.  Britain’s too expensive… I live in Germany and every time I meet someone who has visited Britain, I hear the same complaint: it’s soooo expensive! Imagine living there, I tell them. The cost of living is going up, while pay is being cut or frozen. It’s a simple equation: Brits work more and pay more and in the end we receive less. Think about that.

    2.  Britain’s too, well, outraged… The endless stream of talent contests we’ve been subjected to over the last few years might have been a warm-up for the big bonanza, The London Olympics, but all this has been a brief interval in the favoured pastime of the British: moral outrage! If there were Olympic medals available for complaining, who would win all three? Yep, Team GB. Speaking as someone who has left the Iles of Wonder, I’ve found that other cultures deal with problems in different ways, but they all have one thing in common: a lot less complaining. It’s a relief to not feel so obliged to complain.

    3.  Who are The Jones’ anyway? We’re in a desperate race that begins the day we are born. First it was the right nappies, then it was the right lunchbox, then it was the right clothes. Before you know it, it’s the right phone, then the right car, the right mortgage for the right house in the right area, the right holiday destinations, the right schools for the kids, the right universities that we can’t really afford, the right pension policy (or to call it what it really is: the right amount to fund the endless gambling of those schmucks in The City), and before you know it, your final concern; the right sending off, which you won’t enjoy because you’re well on your way to becoming carbon, or catching the train to the afterlife – whatever you believe.

    4.  You might not be able to stay… More and more of us are facing the stark reality that jobs are scarce. It’s tough times in Britain and while you have worked hard for the moderate, yet comfortable life you lead, if you lose your job, getting another one in Blighty will be difficult. It’s in moments like these that the totally insane question of “What would I do if..?” can bring you life changing answers.

    5.  You can afford it, even if you think you can’t… Most of us think a round-the-world trip as a £10,000, or £20,000 adventure. It doesn’t have to be. Some people choose to save up enough to get them through the first couple of destinations. Once they arrive somewhere they like, they find work and build-up a pot of money to get them to the next couple of destinations and so on. Some choose freelance work, or teaching, while others choose to participate as healthy volunteers in paid clinical trials for organisations such as volunteers.gsk. The point is if the idea sounds better than the next series of Britain’s Got Talent, what are you waiting for?

    6.  A different perspective… Different cultures bring with them different perspectives, like how to cross the road in the opposite way (try it. It’s more thrilling than a shark dive!)

    There are different etiquettes, like “We don’t pass the salt here; you’ll have to reach for it yourself.”

    And finally, the stark and slightly terrifying realisation that the rest of the world is perfectly comfortable having sex without the aid of several glasses of wine/beer/vodka/gin/tequila/sambuca/a sickening mix of all six (delete as appropriate).

    Immersion in other languages and perspectives will force you to grow in directions you never thought possible.

    7.  There’s more to life… There’s more to life than the daily commutes, sales targets, deadlines, council tax, plumbers who don’t turn up to fix your busted boiler, singing contests and your favourite latte from the cafe near the train station. There are even places on this planet where the sun actually shines, where people sit in the shade enjoying an unhurried cup of something pleasant, where the road is open and those who walk it will find out who they really are.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Need To Volunteer Abroad

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Need To Volunteer Abroad

    If you are coming to the end of your studies, most of you will soon be busy checking job websites, scanning the local papers and trying to find that perfect first position. However, given the tough economic climate, more and more young people are finding it tough to get a job at all – let alone find the perfect one.

    With that in mind, here’s seven reasons why we think now’s the right time to volunteer abroad.

    7 Reasons You Need To Volunteer Abroad

    1.  You Develop As A Person. By far and away the biggest benefit to you by volunteering abroad is that you yourself will develop as a person. You will meet people from across the world you’re unlikely to have met if you’d stayed at home. You’ll develop skills and nurture friendships that will last a lifetime, and once you return you will have stories to tell. Whatever it is you do, you will develop into a more well-rounded person.

    2.  You See The World. By volunteering abroad you can choose the country which you’ve always dreamed of visiting. You could go to Africa and work in an orphanage, visit India and deliver life-saving medication to slum dwellers or work on a conservation project saving turtles in South America. Whatever you do or wherever you go, seeing majestic mountains or crystal clear seas is by far and away more appealing than a rainy Redditch.

    3.  You Change Lives. One of the major benefits of volunteering abroad is to change lives. By volunteering abroad the time and effort you give on your project will make a difference to peoples’ lives. For example, if you help dig a well for a water pipe, it could keep a village stocked with clean drinking water for years. Even if your volunteering work is just looking after children, the time you spend volunteering will help – it all adds up.

    4.  You View A Culture From The Inside. By spending time in a country different from the one you grew up in, you will be given a unique learning experience by interacting with a new culture. You may learn a new language, try new foods, have to dress differently. Wherever it is you go you will view a culture from the inside – helping to challenge proposed “norms” and making you a more well-rounded person.

    5.  You Meet New People. You will not be alone when you volunteer abroad. For years you have probably surrounded yourself with the same friends and same family members, without branching out and meeting new people. What could be better than jetting off abroad and interacting with people from all four corners of the world? People who work abroad make friends for life – and, with the advent of Facebook, keeping in touch with them and reminiscing about the time you spent together is easier than ever.

    6.  You Can Influence Your Future Career. You might have spent years studying accountancy. You may know everything there is to know about English Literature. But two weeks spent abroad helping orphans afflicted by AIDS can put it all into perspective. You may come back and decide you don’t want to photocopy spreadsheets or write email marketing newsletters for a company which sells lawnmowers. Volunteering abroad really can influence your future career.

    7.  You Boost Your CV. But finally, the biggest benefit for volunteering abroad is that it will boost your CV. Jobs nowadays are few and far between. Spend a few weeks abroad making a difference to people’s lives, meeting new people, trying new things and having new experiences and you will have something to put on your CV which stands out. You will not only stand out from the competition when you go for an interview, you’ll be showing prospective employers you’re motivated, you’ve got guts and interpersonal skills far and above your peers.

    Author Bio: Original Volunteers is a provider of voluntary work opportunities across the world. For information on how you can work abroad please visit the website.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why a Luxury Watch is the Perfect Wooing Tool

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why a Luxury Watch is the Perfect Wooing Tool

    Been striking out with the ladies? Take a look down at your wrist – Casio, right? That’s where you’re going wrong, my friend. A £10 watch just doesn’t cut the mustard with the ladies anymore – you need something with a bit more gravitas. Let’s take a look at why luxury watches are the perfect tool for wooing the ladies. Fortunately, given the name of this site, there are exactly seven reasons why luxury mens watches are the perfect lady temptress. And we being with number one.

    1.  The Illusion of Wealth. Even if you live in a cardboard box and exist on a strict diet of pot noodles, you will be able to convince the fairer sex that you are a well-to-do country gent if you are spotted sporting a luxury timepiece on your wrist – Panerai, IWC and Baume & Mercier watches are the ideal choice here, such as the tasty little number below. (Where you acquire the £3,000 from to make the purchase is your own concern.)

    7 Reasons Why A Luxury Watch Is The Perfect Wooing Tool

    2.  Look Like A WWI Pilot. No, not in the sense that you’re a distinguished looking 105 year with multiple medals draped proudly across your chest – more in the sense that there are some fantastic mens watches on the market today that look like they’re straight out of WWI – such as the Vintage WWI collection from Bell and Ross (see below). These spiffing timepieces wouldn’t look out of place on the wrist of a brave Sopwith Camel pilot – and what woman wouldn’t swoon in the mere presence of a Sopwith Camel pilot (even if you’re not actually a pilot and work in, say, search engine optimisation)?

    7 Reasons Why A Luxury Watch Is The Perfect Wooing Tool

    3.  Women Like Shiny Things. I may be confusing women with magpies here, but I’m fairly certain that most ladyfolk like shiny objects – enter luxury watches from the likes of Jaeger LeCoultre, Ellicott and ChronoSwiss.

    4.  Good Conversation Starter. We’ve all been on dates which are awkward and the conversation doesn’t exactly flow forth, but this won’t be an issue if you’re sporting a striking luxury watch – I imagine that the conversation would go thusly if you’ve got a Panerai or Zenith watch on your wrist:

    Lady: So…..what do you do?
    You: That doesn’t matter – check out my Zenith watch.
    Lady: Errm – OK.
    You: (Revealing timepiece slowly and impressively) Cost £10,000 that.
    Lady: Errrrrrm….
    You: KAPOW!!

    I’ll leave the rest to your imagination…

    5.  Luxury Watches Elevate Any Outfit. Even if you’re not a stylish fellow, you will find that a well-chosen luxury watch will superbly compliment any outfit and drag you (kicking and screaming in some cases) into the upper echelons of high fashion – where ladies are much more receptive to your charms.

    7 Reasons Why A Luxury Watch Is The Perfect Wooing Tool

    6.  Luxury Watches Open Doors. Figuratively. Unless you’re rocking some sort of James Bond-esque number. You’re likely to find that if you wearing the latest Baume & Mercier, Quinting or U-Boat watch, nightclub bouncers will let you into the VIP area, restaurant maître d’s are less dismissive of you and you can queue jump at Alton Towers – all of which are likely to impress the fairer sex.

    7.  You Will Seem Cultured. Women love culture. Men love to appear cultured and luxury men’s watches are a great means of achieving this objective. Any lady’s knees will turn to jelly when you announce that you bought your Jaeger LeCoultre watch on a business trip to Geneva – when you and I both know that a) you’re scared of flying and b) you bought it online from The Watch Gallery.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit The Middle East And Africa Region

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit The Middle East And Africa Region

    As if you need an excuse to pack your bags – yes, throw in the laptop if you must, just in case you find a spare few minutes for working – and jet across to the Middle East and Africa region. But if you do how about sunshine, beaches, culture, history, hell even meetings in Middle East and Africa are tempting when you consider the surroundings!

    7 Reasons To Visit The Middle East And Africa Region

    1.  Full Of Surprises. The Middle East is often featured in the news, and it’s easy to get the wrong impression of these countries. Visit it, however, and you’ll be amazed at what you find, be it the picturesque beauty of the villages of Syria, Tel Aviv’s Jaffa district, the breathtaking Atlas Mountains or the modern architecture in Dubai.

    2.  Sunshine. Relax and enjoy the balmy and often seriously hot weather in this region. After your many meetings in Middle East and Africa, you’ll be ready to hit the beach or explore the desert. Why not try Jumeirah Beach in Dubai or a desert trek in Jordan? Feel the warmth and then decide how active you want to be! There’s a chance you’ll opt for a cool drink and good book as you chill during your leisure time.

    3.  Comfort. As a business traveller to the Middle East and North Africa, comfort will be a concern – maybe you have images of sweaty-backed meetings and clammy handshakes. Well, you’d be wrong, unless you happen to be unnaturally sweaty of course. All the major buildings including Holiday Inn Dubai where you can hold your conferences or business meetings have air conditioning to make sure the temperature indoors is far cooler than it is outside. You can work as though you were at home, although when you glance out of the window you may get a surprise!

    4.  Culture. There is so much to see and do in this part of the world that you’ll be spoilt for choice. Israel is a place rich in history and here you’ll be able to explore ancient sites and enjoy explorative walks. Likewise, Egypt is steeped in history, considered the oldest tourist destination in the world. In contrast, it’s modern fanfare that you get in Dubai, with lavishly constructed contemporary buildings such as the wave-shaped Jumeirah Beach Hotel, although there is also ample Arabic architecture to view – such as the Bastakiya Quarter and the Jumeriah Mosque.

    5.  Nightlife. Cosmopolitan cities in the Middle East and Africa region like Dubai have a buzzing nightlife that includes bars and restaurants, concerts, street parties and nightclubs.

    6.  Adventure. There are fantastic things to do, from diving in the Red Sea to gawping at the pyramids in Egypt. Egypt also offers adventures in the Sahara Desert and Nile cruises for sightseeing in style. Or perhaps an exploration around Atlas Mountains would get your heart racing. Alternatively, there’s the Dune Dinner in Dubai that consists of blasting over sand dunes in buggies, visiting a camel farm, watching a glorious sunset and then tucking into a barbecue dinner – it certainly beats your average UK barbecue of charcoaled bangers, rain and wind with a background view of your neighbour’s ornate flowerpots.

    7.  Gold. Dubai is called the City of Gold for good reason, and if it’s shopping you’re after then this is the city for you. There is more gold and jewellery on offer than you’ll be able to shake a credit card at in Gold Souk or Gold Market, and many of the air conditioned shopping malls are open until midnight so there’s ample time to part with your hard earned cash.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In Bonnie Scotland

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In Bonnie Scotland

    Today we welcome back to the 7 Reasons sofa a man who hasn’t plumped up our cushions for quite a while. He’s a man some of you will know as Dr Beat. He’s a man others will know as Percy Jennifer. He’s a man the rest of us know put the ‘best’ into Gillette. That’s right. Ladies and gentleman the waiting is finally over. Back to the sofa, please welcome, Dr Simon Best.

    7 Reasons To Holiday In Bonnie Scotland

    Simon says: It is fast approaching the most popular holidaying month of the year (here in England anyway). Yep, it’s nearly August. Currently there’s a fashion for the ‘staycation’, many people are bored of the Balearics and fed up of Faliraki. For them then, the answer is simple. Go to Scotland. Here are seven reasons you should holiday there, especially if you live in England.

    1.  It Is Further From France. By sheer accident of geography England is closer to France than Scotland. This is clearly a huge point in Scotland’s favour. Regular readers of 7 reasons will know that the usual occupants of the sofa are no fans of France. One prefers Belgium and the other would prefer an open sewer – however he lives close enough to France that if he fell asleep on the 7 reasons sofa after one too many biscuits and was pushed out to sea he could float there in time for tea, as could most of Kent. This is clearly a danger to be avoided. If you holiday in Scotland you will be further from France.

    2.  Climate. Now you might raise an eyebrow at this as Scotland is not famed for its glorious weather and high temperatures. When I visited recently I saw sun for about two hours in an entire week, but in when you go on holiday certainty is important. You also need to be efficient in your packing and not take anything you won’t need. The Scottish climate helps no end with this. You can be certain that you won’t need shorts and you will always need a coat or if you wait until September, two coats. It is also always too windy for an umbrella which is a very good thing.

    3.  Scenery. Scottish scenery is quite simply breathtaking. It has everything you could want in a landscape: coastline, lochs, mountains, rolling lowlands. It is home to some wonderful wildlife: deer, beavers, eagles, wolves, bagpipers, men in kilts. Even in cities beautiful countryside is close at hand – with Arthurs seat in Edinburgh, and Pollock Country Park in Glasgow.

    4.  Cuisine. Scotland has a reputation as the home of unhealthy food. Chips, deep fried Mars bars, deep fried pizza, deep fried haggis, etc. This, however, is unfair. Firstly they deserve points for culinary innovation. Anyone can do a Heston Blumenthal and make egg and bacon ice cream, but taking a chocolate bar and deciding to fry it coated in a substance commonly used for battering fish requires a rare mind. Secondly, Scotland is also home to some fine produce. Salmon, Loch Fyne oysters, the finest Italian ice cream I’ve tasted outside of Rome. Okay, so you may gain weight, but if you can’t indulge when on holiday then when can you.

    5.  Money. One of the best things about going abroad on holiday is foreign currency. Getting funny coloured banknotes with odd people on them. It’s a trip highlight in itself. Obviously it does bring with it difficulties. Trying to do conversions in your head and accidentally tipping €50 for example. If you head to Scotland though, you get all the different colours, the different people, the odd foreign symbols, but none of the mathematical problems. Scotland is genius.

    6.  Midges. Scotland is famed for its midges – especially the West coast where they take over in summer in their millions. They like damp, overcast days, so no wonder they like Scotland in the summer. Visit the West of Scotland in July and you can see a lifetimes worth of midges in under a minute. Midges are horrible, bloodthirsty little creatures – literally. So why am I presenting it as a positive? Well, the main way to protect yourself from getting bitten (aside from walking round inside a net) is to drink lots of whisky and eat lots of marmite. Perfect. If you ever needed an excuse to drink industrial quantities of whisky and eat vast amounts of marmite then holidaying in Scotland is it.

    7.  Culture. Ever since the Scottish enlightenment (yes, it really did happen and no, it didn’t involve Billy Conolly and Rab C Nesbit), Scottish culture has led the way in Britain. While England was home to the Teletubbies, Scotland gave us the infinitely superior Balamory. When England was producing the Spice Girls, Scotland produced Belle and Sebastian. Look around the world of television, cinema, comedy, music and you see lots of brilliant, talented Scots. And Frankie Boyle.

    Scotland also hosts the biggest cultural event anywhere in the United Kingdom: the Edinburgh Festivals (note the plural, there are seven of them). These are a showcase for authors, filmmakers, comedians and musicians. Okay, not all of the performers in Edinburgh are Scottish, but the diversity means that no matter where you’re on holiday from there will be something that reminds you of home. And Frankie Boyle.

  • 7 Reasons The British Obsession With Weather Is A Myth

    7 Reasons The British Obsession With Weather Is A Myth

    This evening sees a new programme come to BBC One. It’s called The Great British Weather and features Alexander Henry Fenwick Armstrong, Chris Hollins and Carol Kirkwood telling us why we are obsessed with weather. Well, let us tell you something right now. We aren’t. And that’s ‘we’ in royal sense too. We really aren’t. It’s a complete myth. Here’s why:

    7 Reasons The British Obsession With Weather Is A Myth
    1.  Greeting. It is often commented upon that talk of the weather is the first topic of conversation one enters when meeting someone else. That is certainly true here at 7 Reasons sofaquarters. When Marc and I park our posteriors on the cushions of destiny our first acknowledgement is that we arrived rather wet. Or, if it’s not Summer, rather dry. This is not because we particularly care about the weather, it’s because this is how the British greet each other. The Americans comment on how many pancakes they had that morning, the Japanese comment on how tall they are feeling and the French snog each other. It’s an ice-breaker.

    2.  Meaning. The word ‘obsession’ means, according to my sources, the domination of one’s thoughts. To dominate your thoughts I reckon the subject must be thought about at least 50% of the time. And if that failed to make sense, read the next sentence – it’s much clearer. For someone to be obsessed with the weather they need to be thinking of the weather more than twelve hours a day. And not even South East Today’s weather girl, Kaddy-Lee Preston, does that. I know this because she likes break dancing, techno music and goats. And as I am sure you’ll know, when you’ve got goats on the brain there is simply not enough time to get obsessed with weather.

    3.  Stats. In a Daily Telegraph article last October, Murray Wardrop (apparently the unthinking man’s Murray Walker) said this, ‘Our obsession with the weather runs so deep that almost 70% of British people check the weather forecast at least once a day’. No Murray dear, this is not because we are obsessed, it is because we don’t want to wear our Bermuda shorts if it’s going to be a monsoon out there. I go to the fridge at least five times a day. Does this make me obsessed with the little light that goes on and off as I open and close the door? I think not.

    4.  Observation. “Good gracious,” I exclaimed, “she’s a big girl!” Those are the very words I used the other day when watching a TV programme. I can’t remember what it was, but I remember the big girl. Now, I didn’t say these words because I am obsessed with big girls. I’m not. Nor am I obsessed with small girls if that’s what you are wondering. In fact I never have been. Except when I was small myself. It seemed acceptable then. Anyway, I seem to be veering from the point. The reason I exclaimed that there was a big girl on the TV is because I was surprised. I genuinely wasn’t expecting someone quite so vuluptuous to appear right there, right then. Which is why I felt the need to announce my observation to anyone who would listen. It is exactly the same situation as if I had looked to my left and noticed whites flakes. “Good gracious,” I would have exclaimed, “it’s snowing in July!”. The line between observation and obsession is so vast I am astounded people can blur it so readily.

    5.  Media. Remember the Big Freeze last year that killed 60,000 people? No, neither do I. Though that is what the Sunday Express sensationally suggested.

    7 Reasons The British Obsession With Weather Is A Myth

    It’s the British tabloid press that are obsessed with the weather and sadly we, the public, are tarred with the same brush. I suppose we should be thankful that the revelations of the last few weeks mean The Sunday Express are very unlikely to continue hacking Michael Fish’s phone.

    6.  Popular Culture. The film The Day After Tomorrow – which was pretty much an entire celebration of extreme weather – brought in just over £25 Million at the UK box office. In the same year Spider-Man 2 brought in nearly £1.5 Million more. Admitedly the film did feature Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head, but if you are suggesting we went to watch it just because of that I won’t believe you. Just to be on the safe side though, Shrek 2 brought is nearly £48 Million in the UK alone. And at no point is the weather mentioned. So I think that proves, in 2004 at least, Brits were more obsessed by Cameron Diaz looking like a green ugly thing than the weather.

    7.  Me. If the British obsession with the weather wasn’t a myth; if it were as true as you and I existing on this very day; if we all loved rain and shine and celebrated each as we celebrate our birthday. Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, and – which is more  – you’ll be a Man, my son! Then I wouldn’t be wasting my morning writing about the blasted thing would I?

    *The Great British Weather starts on BBC One tonight at 7.30pm. Yay!

  • 7 Reasons Prison Transforms People

    7 Reasons Prison Transforms People

    A lot is said about the prison service. Especially here in the UK. Many people seem to think that being an inmate is an easy life. You have your own TVs and a free day pass. In some cases, you even have your own dogs. Well, bitches. And then, when you’ve done half the time for your crime, you’re released. To be honest, this was an opinion I also shared. That was until the other night when I saw an episode of Porridge. I am now of the opinion that prison does indeed do what it sets out to do. It transforms people. Here’s why:

    7 Reasons Prison Transforms People

    1.  Fitness. Prison is full of bullies. There isn’t a nice way to say this, so I’m going to be straight with you. If you’ve got moobs, you are going to be teased. What better incentive is there then to get you doing pull-ups off the bunk bed? Prison gives you guns.

    2.  Art. You know what really states that you are not to be messed with? Yep, a tattoo. Not of a dolphin on your ankle, but a snake wrapped around your whole body. Probably accompanied by a skull. And a Millwall FC logo. Prison develops the culture vulture in you.

    3.  Crimes. Prison is all about reputation. The axe murderers aren’t going to look too impressed if you turn up and announce you’re inside for serial parking ticket evasion. That’s why, if you’ve still got them, you should use your scruples. You have to transform yourself into a different person. And that means exaggerating your crime. Yes, you are a serial parking ticket evader, but the only reason you evade them is because you stole the cars in the first place then reduced the number of traffic wardens on patrol. Prison teaches you to sell yourself.

    4.  Names. You can’t go to prison and call yourself Marc Fearns. Fearns? You’ll get a reputation as a right nancy boy. You can’t even call yourself ‘The Fearns’, ‘Fearnsy’ or ‘Fearnso’. So you have to be inventive. And call yourself ‘Terror’. Not because you are a little terror, but because it is short for ‘territory’. Which comes from the calling card you leave where you would usually place the parking ticket. The one that says, ‘Marc-ing My Territory’. Prison inspires creativity.

    5.  Goldilocks. Everyone has told you that long, curly, greasy, ginger hair is not the look, yet the impending prospect of a jail term is the only medium that will make you do something about it. You don’t want people seeing your mane as something to hang on to. Prison cures perms. And dandruff.

    6.  Gravel. Joe Pasquale wouldn’t last five minutes in prison. That’s not because his jokes aren’t funny, it’s because he sounds like a girl. You really don’t want a reputation as someone whose balls have yet to drop. Unless you’re a woman. That’s why you need to put on a deep, East End accent. Use Ray Winstone as your benchmark. Prison makes you a man.

    7.  Posture. At home you may readily bend down to pick up the soap. I have heard from some sources that this is not the thing to do in the prison showers. Something about getting slapped on the backside by a wet towel. As such, in prison, you should remain upright at all times. Prison transforms you into an upstanding member of society.