Tag: Country

Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Almost Everyone Should Keep Chickens

Dads are an interesting bunch. They’re either absent; or they’re present in body but absent in any meaningful way (such as when you want a lift to a dodgy club no parent worthy of the title would ever take their 17-year-old, much less drop off a block away so the teenager in question wouldn’t have to be seen with their totally embarrassing dad); or they care deeply about the fortunate position they’re in and want to bestow upon their children gems of wisdom. Gems like, “You could feed the world on chickens and zucchini. If everyone just kept chickens and grew zucchini, world hunger would cease.”

Like I said, interesting.

In honour of Father’s Day – and now that I am 36 years old and living 4,000 miles away from my bonkers old man – I can concede that fathers sometimes do know best. At least when it comes to solving life’s little problems, like world hunger. So as a tribute to my dad, here are 7 reasons why almost everyone should keep chickens.

1. Chickens + zucchini = starvation solved! In a nutshell, the theory is this: chickens are inexpensive, easy to keep and don’t take up much space. They produce eggs, which you can eat, and if you can tolerate a noisy cockerel, they’ll also keep producing chickens, which you also can eat. Zucchini, otherwise known as courgette, operates in much the same way. Cheap, self-sufficient, produces loads. Mind you, no one actually likes to eat zucchini, but shred it in with some eggs (and other stuff) and you can make the world’s greatest cake. Fact.

2. Got weeds? Hate cutting the grass? Get chickens and they’ll do all the work for you. What’s more, they’ll actually enjoy doing it for you. Let’s not kid ourselves that chickens are anything like pets, because they’re not. They’re skittish instead of cuddly, they sometimes get mites (which are gross) and they’re incredibly stupid. So stupid, in fact, that their world revolves around scratching up worms and picking at weeds. Chickens are like vacuum cleaners for the garden, except that they…

3. …poo everywhere. This is one aspect that chicken enthusiasts will always gloss over. Yes it’s lovely to see a smattering of colourful hens blissfully pecking about in your garden, but the price you pay is in poo. On the upside, the stinky stuff is so rich in nutrients that it will keep your zucchini plants growing fat and happy without any weird chemical frankenfertilisers.

4. I’ve yet to meet a kid who willingly eats the crusts of bread, but do you know who will? That’s right. As well as being squawking, pooing, mite-infested simpletons, chickens have another thing going for them: they will eat anything your kids won’t, including eggs and eggshells. But not actual chicken-meat byproducts, which would just be gross and cruel, even if they’d be too dumb to know the difference.

5. Also, kiddies love chickens. Collecting eggs is like finding a little present every day. Feeding chickens gives children a sense of responsibility and compassion, or at least it keeps them out of your hair for five minutes. Better yet, let your kids have some fluffy chicks. Just don’t tell them they’ll probably get eaten someday (the chickens, not the kids.)

6. Everybody loves eggs. Therefore your popularity will be guaranteed every time you nonchalantly offer a free half-dozen to your mates. No one has to know it’s because the thought of one more omelette is enough to send you rushing for the laxatives.

7. Chickens in knitwear. This phenomenon is beyond my powers of sarcasm, you just have to appreciate it for yourselves.

June 3, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Stay In The UK This Summer

Stop right there. Hold up. Before you dive into countless hours trawling the internet for that oversubscribed package holiday in Spain, that Tuscan villa or that Greek island hopping journey you’ve already done a gazillion times, just stop and look around you.

Take a deep breath.

Relax.

Now imagine yourself flapping around packing before heading to the airport at death o’clock in the morning to catch some horrendously coloured low-cost airway out of Luton. (Jeez, Luton!).

Not good is it? But the good news is you don’t need to put yourself through this.

Here are 7 reasons why you should stay in the UK this summer.

1. It’s a going be a humdinger summer. It is brass monkeys out there at the moment, make no mistake. The UK is currently in the throes of a second, and even more devastatingly brutal winter. Livestock have been buried under huge snow drifts in Northern Ireland, villages have been smothered up in Cumbria and the Siberian wind is biting at the Eastern Coast like a pack of wild dogs.

But remember March last year? It was scorchio. Then look what happened to summer: it was pish. That’s what happens, you see, in terms of the cyclic nature of the elements. So the fact that March has been, like, the nippiest ever, is a good omen for summer, and God damn it, the British people are due a long, heady summer like those of old. Believe people, believe!

Believe and it will come.

2. Festival season. There is no country in the world that has as rich a tradition as the UK when it comes to rolling around in open fields, slurping and spilling cider, enjoying mass singalongs to clodhopper-sporting bands and indulging in types of mischief you’re probably old enough to know better than to indulge in.

The UK music festival season kicks off in May and rolls through the different corners of the country from the Isle of Wight (Bestival, the Isle of Wight festival), to Dorset (the Larmer Tree Festival, End of the Road), to Suffolk (Latitude), to Kinross-shire (T in the Park) to literally hundreds of others including more niche events meeting the demand-smorgasbord of culture and music lovers across this glorious nation of ours.

There’s bound to be something out there for you, whether your tastes involve Celtic rock, house and techno, folk or skiffle. So roll out that tent from the loft, pack up a cold box with beers and head down to the festival of your choice for a much-needed extended weekend of hedonism.

3. Holiday parks. These massively underrated types of holiday option have also been appropriated by music festivals for their own ends over recent years. Think All Tomorrow’s Parties in Camber Sands. Think chaos.

But Holiday Parks are actually a brilliant option for a family break in the UK which will keep every member of your family or friendship group entertained. With their wide open spaces of lovely greenery, often by the sea, swimming pools stacked with slides and wave pools, ace sports facilities and a slew of cracking entertainment by night, parks like these can really take you by surprise.

All this, too, without having to even try and track them down in a place you don’t really know or have to clumsily ask for in a foreign tongue. Takes the pressure of a little, doesn’t it? And who needs pressure on holidays?

Not me, I tell you. Not me.

4. No planes. This one is dead simple. You stay on this island for your holibobs, you don’t need to faff around at airports or put your life in the hands of someone driving you through the air in some pinned-together plates of tin. OK, so maybe I exaggerate the last point a little but so many people just hate to fly. Imagine how much more relaxing a short car or train journey to your holiday location will be. Sooooo much more relaxing.

Saves you time, stress and effort. Those things are darn important when holidays are involved.

5. Countryside. As Danny Boyle’s game-changing Olympic Opening Ceremony richly demonstrated, the British countryside is kinda awesome. We all probably do not appreciate it as much as we should do. It is really quite a special thing.

The changing landscapes across the country are staggering, from the rolling green hills of Somerset, to the huge skies and wetlands of Norfolk, to the scarlet and purple heather of the North Yorkshire moors, we are inundated with glorious places to explore.

But have you ever really tried it? Really tried to get to know another corner of the country you profess to deeply love? If not, this summer could well be the time.

6. British people. Brits. They’re like you’re family in many ways. In fact, they probably are your family, too, in most cases. But our country can boast huge levels of cultural diversity, something which is probably attributable in no small way to our island status. Brits are famous abroad for their sense of humour and you will find laughter the common currency in the far corners of our island.

On top of this, the fascinating range of local regional identities with their own foibles, accents, foodstuffs and interests is a source of interest to visitors from all the corners of the globe. So why not you too?

7. Quirky festivals and traditions. The diversity of regional identities goes hand in hand with a huge array of quirky regional customs too. Many regions have their own festivals that are unique to that area only. We’re not talking about Summer Isle and The Wickerman here although, that said, there is The Wickerman Festival in July.

No, we’re talking instead about things like ‘Sheep Day’. Yes, that’s right – ‘Sheep Day.’ This happens once a summer in the Yorkshire market town of Skipton when the countryside is brought right into the town. Baaa–rilliant, yes? Ahem.

Alternatively, you could try the annual Scarecrow Festival in Torteval on Guernsey which happens every July, or maybe the Great Wrekin Barrel Race which takes place in Wellington in June. Teams compete to carry barrels of beer to the top of this major Shropshire hill, you can watch AND drink beer. Cool.

There are hundreds of festivals to choose from, they just require research. Do you know what the traditional festival and customs are for your little corner of the country? No? Then go thither and seek them out!

Author Bio: Matthew Pink is a writer who will not be using his passport this year.

April 10, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit Romania

For anyone looking for an adventurous and stimulating break from the daily grind, cheap flight tickets allow easy access to most parts of the world nowadays. One of my own favourites is Romania, as I still harbour fond memories of Dracula movies in the 1970s. I remember it came as something of a shock to discover that Transylvania really did exist, and from reading everything I could lay my hands on about the place that it was just as exotic and beautiful as I’d fantasised.

The wild Romanian landscape of mountains, lakes and valleys is bestrewn with gorgeous medieval castles and dotted with quaint towns and villages, many of which have deep roots in the country’s often turbulent and bloody past. Ceausescu was removed before his plans for turning the whole of Romania into a tasteless concrete housing estate could get properly underway and now this magical country has plenty to offer its visitors.

1. Transylvania. Quite apart from its personal resonations for me, Transylvania is one of Europe’s most beautiful regions of unspoilt forests, mountains and shimmering lakes. The main cities of Cluj and Brasov are frozen in time and you’ll love wandering their cobbled streets lined with medieval German and Romanian architectural treats.

2. Danube Delta. The Danube Delta region is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and the second largest river delta area in Europe, full of natural beauty and rare species of wildlife. The floating islands, lakes and waterways make it ideal for an adventure holiday exploring its many hidden treasures.

3. Folklore and Traditions. In rural Romania you’ll quickly discover that the traditions of the people have been preserved in a time capsule and are an intrinsic part of daily life in the towns and villages across the landscape here. Chickens and pigs are raised in farmyards as they have been for centuries, eggs are gaily coloured at Easter, and weaving and shepherding are very much in evidence. Villagers dress up in traditional costume – not for visitors but for themselves – and everywhere you’ll come across scenes of village life straight out of a book of fairy tales.

4. Parties. Parties are a Romanian speciality, and in the big cities like Bucharest there is a wide range of chic cafes, classy clubs, discos, restaurants and pubs, all packed and heaving with people enjoying a great time. The coastline and towns like Timisoara in the western part of Romania are also good spots to head for if you’re into some great nightlife.

5. Fabulous Cuisine. Romania has a vast and varied cuisine that reflects its position at the crossroads of Europe, with Russian, Austrian, Turkish, Hungarian and Polish influences, with fresh vegetables and pork forming the basis but also many great beef, lamb, chicken and fish dishes. Romanians just love to eat, as you’ll rapidly discover!

6. Four Great Seasons. Romania has a temperate climate and experiences three months of spring and three of autumn each year. This used to be standard of course before global warming came along, but here in Romania the seasons can be enjoyed in all their variety. In summer you can enjoy the Black Sea’s sandy beaches and in winter head for the excellent ski resorts.

7. Castles. Romania has some of the most beautiful castles in Europe, as splendid as any you can find in Germany. Commanding valleys and mountain passes, brooding over lakes and silhouetted on the horizon they’re the most fabulously romantic legacy of a great packed and eventful history. With names like Bran, Peles and Pelisor they seem to rightfully belong in fantasy novels, but here they are in magical Romania and you should try to see as many as you can when you visit.

David Elliott is a freelance writer who loves to travel, especially in Europe and Turkey. He’s spent most of his adult life in a state of restless excitement but recently decided to settle in North London. He gets away whenever he can to immerse himself in foreign cultures and lap up the history of great cities.

September 25, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Be Your Own Sovereign Nation

Remember when you were a youngster and you drew a new country – Jonville – in your parent’s atlas? No? Well you missed out. I did and my imaginary country was amazing. But that’s all it was. Amazing and imaginary. It never actually became a reality. (As those of you who have looked in a 2011 atlas will know.) Today’s guest post from Mark Richardson goes that one step further. Mark’s not interested in whimsy. He’s interested in the real thing. He wants to start his own country. And here’s why you should do it too:

Many of the great, and imaginary, thinkers of our time have said; “There’s no freedom like political freedom”. And they are right. Don’t take my word for it, read a history book. Its pages will be drenched with the blood of warriors who fought for independent rule and freedom. That could be you. Although I would advise you don’t actually fight for freedom. Rather have some coffee and get others to fight for you. Like the French do.

“Why should I be my own sovereign nation?” I hear you ask. Well here are seven thought provoking reasons.

1. No More Speeding Tickets. I don’t remember being included in the meeting where speed limits were decided. Democracy failing at the first hurdle there really. Well, diplomatic immunity will solve that. Next time you’re handed a speeding ticket, hand it back claiming you are beyond the jurisdiction of traffic law enforcement, and demand an apology. You will need diplomatic number plates though. And your nation’s flag flying from your car. That’s a nice touch.

2. Military Allies. Label anyone who messes with you a rebel insurgent and request military assistance from the United States Army. Let’s see those neighbourhood punks give you crap when there’s an Apache Gunship hunting them down.

3. Money, Money, Money. Don’t stress about that new credit card application. Request one hundred million a year directly from the IMF. Billions exchange hands every year in loans to third world economies. Why shouldn’t you get a piece of that? Claim you need the money to implement a project to build decent housing and ease the overcrowding in your nation’s more populated cities. Roughly translated; get yourself a big house. Personally, my nation could do with a 150 acre secluded coastal estate with a private beach and helicopter pad.

4. Travel The World. Sick of economy class and cheap hotels? Me too. Plan a trip to Washington DC and request to stay in the White House and have a meeting in the Oval Office with the President. Demand that the press be present, and request a personal bodyguard for the duration of your US visit. Insist that this bodyguard be Chuck Norris.

5. Make Up Your Own Holidays. Why settle for the mere handful of holidays issued by your regular government when you could invent your own when it suits you? It doesn’t have to stop at holidays either. Parades are fun. An annual street parade based around a bikini theme is a killer foreign policy plan. The problem is that regular governments don’t put enough thought into this stuff.

6. Get Rid Of Door-To-Door Sales People. Sales people encroaching on your land to sell you crap you don’t need are to be immediately detained as spies and found guilty of espionage, and then imprisoned never to be seen again. Those that email you spam will be tracked down with the help of Western Intelligence Services, accused of cyber terrorism and sent to Guantanamo where violent things will be done to their sensitive parts. Seriously, I hate those guys.

7. Get Your Own National Anthem. Yes, one of the perks of being a visiting dignitary everywhere you go. Be creative here. Don’t go the normal boring route. Try Bulls On Parade by Rage Against The Machine and demand that it is played every time you walk into a room. Also, everyone should stand respectfully for the entire duration of the song.

Well, there you go. Be your own Nation. Craft your own destiny. I should point out at this stage that these suggestions probably actually won’t work in a real world situation. But if you don’t ever try you won’t ever experience the crushing failure that leaves you feeling like an underachieving loser.

December 14, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Japan Is Awesome

We’ve published posts telling us the USA is great, we’ve ignore posts telling us France is great and we already know Great Britain is great, so what’s missing? Ah, yes. Japan. Home of the most annoying game ever invented. I never owned a tamagotchi, but it felt like I had a vested interest in the company given the amount I knew about them at school. Girls you see. They liked to talk about them. And I didn’t have the heart to walk off. Thankfully, Japan have done some good stuff too. As Maria Rainier now explains.

Maria Rainier

Everyone knows Japan is crazy. The reasons why Japanese people are crazy is exactly why they’re awesome. Crazy awesome. I mean, who else has come up with female androids, steakhouses with Mexican cooks, Karate Kid, and Jackie Chan, right?

1. Cute. They are the only people on earth who can regularly make poop look cute. Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo does not qualify, Mr. Parker, Mr. Stone. He leaves unsanitary racing stripes wherever he goes and makes a terribly ugly cell phone accessory. Rhinestones look so much more kawaii on unko.

2. Humour. Their game shows are not only extravagant wastes of money that could probably fund a super smart cancer research team if only their scientists weren’t too busy riding elephant-sized bouncy balls and falling into mud pits, but more importantly, none of the humor is lost in translation. No matter who’s talking, there’s still a guy getting hit in the face with a giant foam log, and that’s funny.

3. Resolute. No one takes a punch like Japan, the only country that’s taken not one but two atomic bombs to the face and said, “Oh, so sorry. Would you like to send over a scientific team to study the damage and not help out the 250,000 women, babies, and old geezers who inexplicably survived your atrocity, and then try to justify it 60+ years later by saying we would have killed more of you had you not done it, even if your planned invasion wasn’t going to happen for two months?” Nah, it’s all good, ya’ll.

4. Sushi. They have convinced the West that eating raw fish eggs and octopus suckers is not only healthy and tasty, but sophisticated, especially if you know how to use a pair of chopsticks. They’re laughing their asses off right now, eating their steak and potatoes with a knife and fork.

5. They Will Rule The World One Day. While Naruto and animated school girl porn are distracting Westerners and turning them into malnourished, nerdy, basement-dwelling virgins, the Japanese are busy with their next invention: an invisible army of flying life-sized Gundam with nuclear capabilities. The Pokemon franchise was a total Japan takeover of the western world foiled by Trey Parker and Matt Stone in their groundbreaking investigative journalistic endeavor, “Chinpokomon.”

6. Vendor. They are the gods of vending machines: hot soup, hot coffee, and panties once worn by hot school girls for your pervy businessman pleasure.

7. Ninjas. And samurai. Mr. Miyagi. Ichi the Killer. Those guys.

Maria Rainier is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She is currently a resident blogger at First in Education and performs research surrounding online degrees. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.

February 12, 2011