7 Reasons

Tag: Comments

  • Russian Roulette Sunday: 7 Reasons You Found Us

    Russian Roulette Sunday: 7 Reasons You Found Us

    Visitors mean a lot to websites.  Visitors are their oxygen. We are no different. At 7 Reasons we like to breath. And we’re not doing too badly on that account, thanks for asking. In the past seven days thousands of people have popped by, either because they are regular visitors or because they have typed something into Google and 7 Reasons has appeared in the search results. All are welcome. Well, nearly all. We’d be lying if we said 7 Reasons hadn’t opened our eyes to the amount of weirdoes that own a computer. There aren’t many, but there are enough. 50% of whom really need to be recaptured very soon. So, in the last seven days, here are the most random, mind-boggling and disturbing phrases people have searched for. And if you want to know where they turned up, just click on the link. Oddly, I don’t think it was quite what they were looking for because no one left a comment or used the rating system.

    1.  “Meeting Arrive Sweat Enter Room Embarrassing Business” – 7 Reasons To Become An Artist

    2.  “James Martin Chef Nude Picture” – 7 Reasons To Cycle Naked

    3.  “Australian Open 2010 Spectator Excrement” – 7 Reasons To Hate Pigeons

    4.  “MP Moustache Deep Diving” – 7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Wear A Tie

    5.  “Break Wind Sideways Male Female” – 7 Reasons To Be A Bond Villain

    6.  “Penis White Peeling” – 7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Wear A Tie

    7.  “How Many Pasty Shops In Bolton?” – Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Love Bolton

    We don’t know why people searched for any of these things, but as we feel a duty of care towards all of our readers, here is some advice.

    1.  Seek medical help.

    2.  Seek psychiatric help.

    3.  Seek medical help.

    4.  Resign from your job at the brothel, madam.  There are some things that no one should have to do.

    5.  Seek medical help.

    6.  Seek medical help urgently.

    7.  Just go out and count them Brad.

    We take the problems of our readers seriously.  If anyone needs any advice, on anything, feel free to ask us using the comments section.

  • 7 Reasons The Tiger Woods ‘Story’ Is Annoying Me

    7 Reasons The Tiger Woods ‘Story’ Is Annoying Me

    Tiger Woods Flex Attack

    1. It’s All In The Name. Half the people commenting on this story don’t even know who Tiger Woods is. I have lost count of the number of times I have seen his name written Tiger Wood or Tiger Wood’s. There are two things that really annoy me in life. Spelling names incorrectly is one of them. How hard can it be? There should be a rule. Only people who can spell properly are allowed to live. (The second thing that annoys me is when people ask, ‘Are the US/Australia/France/Bognor-bloody-Regis ahead or behind us in time?’ It’s simple geography people).

    2.  The Jokes. They are quite frankly rubbish. They’re obvious, poorly written, usually spelt incorrectly and not funny. Ten minutes after news of his car crash broke, everyone in the world had come up with, ‘What’s the difference between an SUV and a golf ball? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball!’. So why then are people still posting it? Just shut up the lot of you.

    3.  Here, There and Everywhere. It’s dominating all media outlets. There are reports in the news, sport and entertainment sections. And they all say the same bloody thing. ‘Tiger Woods may or may not have had sexual relations with cocktail waitresses.’ Firstly, I don’t care. Secondly, it isn’t news. You may as well write, ‘Jonathan Lee may or may not have had sexual relations with a cocktail waitress,’ for all the fact that the statement contains.

    4.  It’s Not Happening. If the allegations are true, a few people will be outraged. But that’s it. No one is going to make an example out of him. Tiger is too big a star to be dropped by those who sponsor him. Not even Nike. Nike need Tiger more than he needs them. This is the world we live in. I don’t care whether you like it or not. It’s a fact. Nothing is going to change so get over it. Stop wasting your time by drawing up pointless petitions asking Nike to drop him. It. Will. Not. Happen.

    5.  We are all human. I’ve seen a lot of people say that his transgressions just show Tiger Woods is human. What?! He was a robot before was he? And since when did having an affair become acceptable? If he did have an affair, he’s an idiot. Simple as that. If you think he should be forgiven in an instant, it’s because you have been sleeping around yourself. The fact that Tiger may have done it too, makes you feel just a little bit less guilty. Twat.

    6.  Tiger Woods’ Downfall. There’s always a bloody Downfall spoof. And it’s always the same bloody clip. Yawn.

    7.  I’m A Loser. I end up writing about it. Even though I am bored to death of the story, think everyone writing or commenting on it is a muppet and my heart says I shouldn’t join in, I do. The fact is, I know it’s what people want to read about. I know that if I write it this website will get billions of hits. So I have a dilemma. Stick to my moral convictions or put on my business hat. Obviously I have no morals. It makes me sick.