Tag: Celebrate

Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why It’s Good To Celebrate

We love a good old knees up in the UK – and we do it all year round. From Christmas parties and birthdays to special celebrations and family gatherings, having fun is something we’re good at.

According to the recently published Infographic The Cost Of Celebrations, from Baines & Ernst, there are four special dates that stick out on the calendar as some of the most popular occasions we love to celebrate – Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Easter and Father’s Day.

Here are our 7 Reasons why it’s good to celebrate these special occasions…

1. Everyone loves getting a card. Whether you’re giving or receiving, cards are pretty great. With just a few words, you can deliver the sentiment with maximum effect. Make someone laugh or shed a happy tear, a card can help you say so much without making a hugely expensive gesture.

In the UK we send 25 million Valentine’s cards, 30 million Mother’s Day cards and 7 million Father’s Day cards – which just goes to show how popular this tradition is.

2. Treats, treats and more treats… Apart from birthdays and Christmas, there are few occasions where you get spoilt rotten… unless you’re hopelessly in love or are a parent; then of course you get showered with gifts! And if you don’t have someone to treat you on Valentine’s or a child to give you a gift, at least you know you’ll be able to gorge on Chocolate at Easter.

3. Feel the love! Feeling amorous and totally loved up? Then Valentine’s Day offers the perfect opportunity to show the value of your love. On average, men in the UK spend £97.12 on their other halves, while women spend £91.89. And if you don’t have that ‘special someone’, then you could lavish your pet instead… you wouldn’t be alone, apparently 3% of pet owners give their pets a gift on February 14th.

4. Celebrate how fantastic your folks are. Parents are awesome, and what a great way to show how much you appreciate them, then on Mother’s and Father’s Day. Take them out, give them a gift or make them dinner – it’s a nice occasion that you can all share as a family.

5. Break the rules when it comes to gifts. Would it surprise you to hear that flowers and neck ties top the poles in the most popular gifts for mums and dads? Break the rules and get creative with your gifts to make them a memorable keepsake they’ll cherish forever.

6. Easter – one of the only times it’s acceptable to eat chocolate for breakfast. Over 90 million chocolate eggs are sold in the UK every year – with Easter accounting for 10% of chocolate spending for the whole year! Easter is your licence to eat as much chocolate as you like, but it’s not always a good idea, especially when you consider 1 in 5 kids have made themselves ill by stuffing their little faces… oooops!!

7. Celebrations keep our economy ticking. Just like Christmas, all of these occasions help keep our economy ticking over nicely. Valentine’s is worth the most, with £2.4 billion spent on gifts. Mother’s Day is worth £1.5 billion and while Father’s Day doesn’t quite generate as much spending, it’s still worth a cool £1 billion.

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March 1, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why We Love To Celebrate

There are celebrations for almost everything these days – celebrations for the birth of Christ, celebrations for the death of Christ, for the resurrection of Christ, for the Holy Commemoration of the First Tooth lost by Christ. All the partying can leave you worn out, but the strange things is that we always want more; celebrating never seems to get old. So why do we love to celebrate so much?

1. So what? I’m celebrating! We love celebrations because they are a great excuse for doing things in excess. Celebrations are a time to lose yourself in over indulgence. Over the Christmas period, we celebrate so much that we actually expect to put weight on through sheer greed. But so what if you’re on your third bottle of wine or you fifth cheese cake? You’re celebrating, and that’s sound reasoning that no one can argue with.

2. Sorry boss, I was celebrating. If you’ve had a big celebration the next day can be a bit of an effort, especially if you have to go into work. However, it would take a truly stone hearted boss not to be understanding if you were to phone up and explain that the reason you can’t make it in to work today is because you got absolutely smashed at a wicked celebration last night and you are really hungover and probably still quite hammered now. You’ll probably even be able to claim it under sick leave.

3. Yeah come on over, we’re having a celebration! You might not see your friends and family much over the course year, but when a celebration comes around it’s always a great excuse to get everyone together. Even the people who no one likes get invited, like old auntie Susan who sucks the chocolate off chocolate covered peanuts and then puts them back in the bowl, because it just wouldn’t be a proper celebration without her sickening antics.

4. Because the government tell us to. In reality, celebrating is not something that we’re born to enjoy, it’s not a hard wired trait, but we grow to like it through covert conditioning by the government. The government shove celebrations down our throats until we celebrate so much that we celebrate when there isn’t even anything to celebrate, like with the Diamond Jubilee. They do it because they see it as an easy way to boost the economy through the sale of party hats and meringue.

5. I love you, man! When you’re high on celebrating, certain things become acceptable, including telling complete strangers how much you appreciate them. In the midst of a celebration, handing out personalised birthday cards with the words “I love you” to people you don’t even know when it is even their birthday doesn’t seem weird. It only becomes creepy the day after.

6. For purveyors of bad music. One of the major reasons for the continued success of celebrations is that it keeps the age old industry of bad music churning on. Where would the performers of The Time Warp, Oops Upside Your Head and Fast Food Song be without the millions of royalties they get from their songs being played at celebrations? In a retirement home, picking bits of food out of their beards is where.

7. To liven up funerals. Funerals can be quite solemn and formal events, some may even argue dull, especially if you weren’t particularly well acquainted with the departed. However, the thing that makes them worthwhile, and the reason that most people go to them, is the brilliant laugh that you can have at the celebration that follows. The finger buffet is always well stocked, and, in general, it’s a free bar.

July 21, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Celebrate The Diamond Jubilee

1. Time Off Work. The first reason to celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee for many people will be the fact that we won’t have to work between the dates Saturday 2nd June to Tuesday 5th June (inclusive). This upcoming period is often excitedly referred to as a four-day holiday although to be fair two of the days are Saturday and Sunday anyway and we don’t call weekends two-day holidays do we? Still, for everyone, apart from people such as self-employed workers, police staff and BBC royal correspondents, it’s a good chance to forget about the stresses of work.

2. Diamond Jubilees Happen But Once In A Lifetime. Few of us, if any, are likely to see another Diamond Jubilee celebration in our lifetimes. The earliest possible date that Prince Charles could celebrate his Diamond Jubilee in is the year 2072 by which time he would be 123. We might not get a chance to celebrate another Diamond Jubilee so let’s enjoy this one!

3. The British Monarch Is Unique. The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee provides a great opportunity to celebrate how unique British culture is. For instance, how many other Queens of the world can you name (bear in mind that American hip-hop star Queen Latifah isn’t a real queen)?*

4. Rock Stars Playing In Dangerous Locations. What better way is there to mark another royal milestone than by having a rock star perform a song in a dangerous location? At the Queen’s 2002 Golden Jubilee celebrations, Queen guitarist Brian May re-interpreted God Save The Queen on the rooftop of Buckingham Palace. This has heightened anticipation about which rock star will perform at high-altitude during the Diamond Jubilee celebrations. Perhaps royal favourite Elton John will haul his piano on to the Buck Palace rooftop to hammer out a specially-composed song.

5. It’s A Good Chance To See The Queen In England. It’s great to see the Queen on her globe-trotting travels but the Diamond Jubilee means that, for the duration of her tour of Britain, we will get her all to ourselves.

6. The Duke Of Edinburgh. The Diamond Jubilee is also a fine opportunity to acknowledge the Duke of Edinburgh’s sterling service during the Queen’s reign. The monarch’s consort has often tried to be “seen but not heard” but, thankfully, Prince Phillip has never been shy of speaking his mind. It is likely that Camilla and Princess Katherine will have very different styles when they become consort.

7. Long-Service Award. It’s easy to forget that most women of the Queen’s age have been retired for over a quarter of a century. Even on the day of her latest Jubilee she will still be ‘on duty’!

*Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands is the only one I can name.

Author Bio: James Christie writes for kids craft company Baker Ross. Check out the fabulous range of Diamond Jubilee crafts at the Baker Ross website.

April 21, 2012
7 Reasons To Celebrate Leif Ericson

In two days time the population of the USA will gather together and celebrate the life of Leif Ericson. Or at least those of whom who have recently been on wikipedia shall. October 9th is Leif Ericson Day. Now Leif, for those of you not in the know, was a Norse explorer. And there are many reasons he should be celebrated. Not just in the USA, but the world over. Here are just seven.

1. Columbus Mark I. While history tells us that is was the Genoese (Italian) Christopher Columbus who first discovered America, Sir Alan Sugar’s newest Apprentice Tom Pellereau will tell us that it was the British Columbus. And that he liked his pies. Both, though, are wrong. It was actually Leif Ericson who first set foot in was is now commonly known as Newfoundland some 500 years before. Only he didn’t really mention it too much and so no one really went to settle there. Apart from his sister. Who was killed by Indians. Basically, thanks to Leif, the world is 500 years behind where it could have been.

2. Father. Of all the fathers you could have, Eric The Red probably isn’t the one you would choose. He looked like Mick Hucknell in a helmet. And Leif had to live with that. For a short time.

3. Second Father. Who knows, perhaps Leif did call his father ‘Eric The Simply Red’. Something must have happened because when Leif reached the age of eight he was packed off to live with another man. That’s kind of weird. Even in today’s liberal society. So one can only applaud Leif for sticking it out for four years. Though, it must be stressed, that could just be a myth. Perhaps he didn’t have to stick it out at all. Either way, as we’ll discover later on, it had no effect on his sexual orientation.

4. Achievement. Most sixteen year old boys these days are locked in their rooms playing Call Of Duty or spending a little quality time with a copy of the M&S lingerie catalogue. Leif didn’t have such luxuries so he went out and found his own entertainment. Including capturing polar bears. Now, we’ve discussed the issues with regards to dating a polar bear in a previous post. And that was based on the assumption that you were going to be nothing but hospitable to the creature. So one can only conclude that capturing a polar bear increases those issues one-hundred fold. Still, he did it and he made a name for himself. Not a bad feat for the son of a ginger.

5. Lad. As previously indicated, Leif was not affected by his four year living arrangement with a strange old man and he came out of that house as hetrasexual as when he entered. In fact, he was a bit of a lad. On the first voyage that he captained, he was forced to land in the Hebrides. It was the Ibiza of the day. No sooner had he dropped anchor, he had also dropped his trousers. In front of the Lord’s daughter, Thorgunna. I don’t wish to sound vulgar here, but they had sex for a month. And they only stopped for lunch. Not that surprisingly Thorgunna – who had thawed Leif’s gun for the final time – announced she was pregnant. Leif then legged it back to his ship and set sail. You are probably questioning why we should be celebrating this? As you should. It’s deplorable behaviour. Well the thing is Thorgunna gave birth to a son, Thorgils. And when he was old enough he went to seek out Leif and Leif accepted him as his son. Which, for a viking who had by that time discovered grapes, set a fine example we would all do well to follow.

6. Nature. We seldom have days when we sit down and celebrate leaves. And that’s a little bit wrong. There are many shapes and colours out there and yet we take them for granted. Bemoaning their appearance all over the garden in autumn and their lack of visibility in winter. Now I am not proposing that we suddenly start celebrating leaves. How can you? It would be fake. What I suggest we do is celebrate the nearest thing to it. Leif. Then we can build up to a Maple or something. I don’t know really. In was just a thought. And I’m writing this before I think.

7. Vessel. Yes, Leif Ericson has a ferry named after him! The MV Leif Ericson cruises the route between North Sydney and Port aux Basques. (That’s the North Sydney in Canada obviously). I think this must be the one and only time a ferry has been named after someone that the vast majority of the world’s six billion either haven’t heard of or are completely apathetic towards. Let’s change this. He’s got a day and a ferry behind him, now he needs the world.

October 7, 2011
7 Reasons To Hug A Left-Hander Tomorrow

As I am sure all left-handers’ the world over are aware, tomorrow is ‘International Left-Handers’ Day’. Awesome. In my opinion not enough body parts get the recognition they deserve. Personally I would like there to be an ‘International Third Nipple Day’. Just so I can see which of my friends I need to start avoiding more often. But that’s for another day. Today is all about left-handedness and why we should show love to those of that unfortunate disposition tomorrow.

"Cheer up Monty, you didn't mean to drop that bread roll"

1. Death. On average, right-handed people live nine years longer than lefties.* Nine years! That’s a lot. I am sure we all have friends who are left-handed so tomorrow I suggest we whip round to their place and give them the news. Then it would be nice to give them a hug. Just to, you know, show them that you should be in the will.

2. Evil. This isn’t an easy thing to say, but you need to be told the truth. Left-handed people are in league with the devil. They dabble in witchcraft and sit on the panel of Loose Women. I’m not making this up. I read in in The Telegraph. The thing is, it’s not their fault. They were just born like that. Which is why we have to hug them. Just to, you know, see if they have a tail protruding from their anus.

3. Stationery. If having a short life-expectancy and being an incarnation of the devil wasn’t enough, the left-handed among us have long suffered at the hands of the right-handed. Quite literally. Ever tried using a pair of scissors with your left-hand? Painful isn’t it? Give a lefty a hug. Just to, you know, prevent them from seeing you laugh your head off at their misfortune.

4. Bias. Have you ever noticed that when it comes to money matters, your left-handed friend’s seem far better off than you? This has nothing to do with skill or talent. It is because when it comes to finance everything is strongly weighted in their favour. One typical example is the National Lottery logo. It comprises a left hand. Not a more commonplace right-hand, but a left-hand. So, tomorrow, go and give your left-handed chums a hug. Just so, you know, you can swipe their wallet from their back pocket and check the evening’s lottery numbers.

5. Intelligence. Apparently, left-handers are able to use parts of the brain to more effect than us normal folk. As such they are far more intelligent. So it’s useful to have a left-hander as a friend. A real close friend. A friend you you would hug at the next opportunity. Just so, you know, you can look over their shoulder at the answers to the pub quiz.

6. Effort. Have you ever seen a left-hander write? They make one heck of a mess. As soon as they write something they smudge it with the rest of their clumsy hand. So not only do they have to start their literary works all over again, but they also have to go and wash their ink dyed palms. It takes time and money being a left-hander. Time to write letters over and over again and money on more paper, more ink and more soap. It’s a tough life. So give one a hug, Just to, you know, prevent then shaking your hand with their inky paws.

7. Thievery. Have you ever been sat in a restaurant, enjoying a lovely meal and even lovelier chat, only for the person sitting on your right to spoil the whole mood by stealing your wine or bread roll? You’re nodding your head. This doesn’t surprise us. You may not have known this at the time, but the thief on your right was left-handed. While it is natural to the rest of us to pick up bread rolls with our right hand, it is natural for left-handers to use their left. As such they end up fatter and more drunk than their right-handed counterparts. It’s not their fault though. It’s the way they are wired. So give them a hug. Just so, you know, they’ll find it much harder to steal the mint than accompanies your post-dinner coffee.

*Left-handers I mean, not left-wingers. I think Maggie Thatcher and Bruce Forsyth have proved that righties comfortably outlive lefties by approximately two-hundred years.

August 12, 2011
7 Reasons it Must Have Been Terrible to Celebrate Your Wedding Anniversary in the 1930s

In the 1930s it was decided (presumably by purveyors of gifts) that there weren’t enough things associated with anniversaries and a more comprehensive anniversary gift list was created. Fortunately for contemporary celebrants of anniversaries, since then the list has been modernised. This is no bad thing as I’ve seen a copy of the original list. Here are seven reasons that it must have been terrible to celebrate your anniversary in the 1930s.

1. Wood. On the original list, the fifth anniversary is wood. This is rather fitting for the era because, after five long years of marriage, the celebration of their fifth wedding anniversary may well have been one of the last occasions that a married couple got wood. Rather mean to remind them of that though.

2. Willow/Copper. The ninth anniversary is a terrifying prospect. According to the BBC (they who must be believed), after nine years you get the willow/copper anniversary. The only feasible combination of willow and copper that comes to my mind is a policeman with a cane. Imagine your surprise and delight when you sit down with your wife and she says, “Happy anniversary darling, here’s a rozzer to beat you with a stick.” That doesn’t sound like too much fun to me. Perhaps it was more fun back then.

3. Aluminium/Tin. Times were clearly hard in the ‘30s and though your tenth anniversary present would be an improvement on the previous year’s beating, it wouldn’t be much of one as you’re likely to be presented with something in a tin or in an aluminium can. This can mean only one thing: food. But in the 1930s people didn’t have normal food, they had weird food: tins of tongue; tins of luncheon meat; tins of potatoes. Is being presented with a tin of tongue even any better than being beaten by a policeman? Well, should you have had your anniversary in the 1930s, you’d be in a great position to judge.

4. Ivory. After fourteen years of wedded bliss – assuming you’d recuperated from your beating by the forces of law and order five years previously and eating your tongue the following year – it was time for the real presents to begin. For your fourteenth anniversary, you could have expected to receive something without which no home is complete; a bit of an elephant. Obviously your gift wouldn’t be in the form of a bit of an elephant, it would be a bit of one of those useless lumbering creatures from the other side of the world turned into something far more practical, like a letter-opener or a cruet set.

5. China. For your twentieth anniversary you would have received the best gift of all, after which all other anniversary presents would come as an anticlimax. For your twentieth anniversary you could expect to receive the nation of China. Now China back then was war-ravaged and in the economic doldrums, rather than being the titan that it is now, but still, a whole country is an impressive gift. All anniversaries after the twentieth would be a huge disappointment.

6. Pearl/Ivory. After thirty years, while modern couples are receiving their first diamonds, couples using the traditional anniversary list are in for a rare treat. They can expect to relive that fondly remembered fourteenth anniversary on which they received a bit of an elephant only now, as if the bit of an elephant weren’t enough of a treat, they can expect it to be augmented by a bit of calcium carbonate that had been stolen from a fish. Yay!

7. Blue Sapphire. After sixty-five years of marriage, the compilers of the list clearly believe that senility will have kicked in because you’re going to get a sapphire again, but this time it’s going to be a blue one (which will be so much better than the beige one you got for your 45th). “Look darling”, your husband will bellow into your ear trumpet, “I bought you a blue sapphire…it’s blue!”. “Well, fancy” you’ll respond, “a blue sapphire. Well I never! Are these my feet?”

And now, I have a confession to make: tomorrow is my wedding anniversary (and my wife’s). I’m not going to tell you which one, but you might be able to guess, as this is what I’ve got her. Feel free to wish me luck!

July 6, 2011
This Is Not A 7 Reasons Post

Well, actually, I suppose it is. It’s just not your traditional 7 Reasons post. You see there are no reasons today.* Just an announcement. An announcement to say the Blowers t-shirts are now nestled in the 7 Reasons Emporium. And they look a bit like this:

Don’t worry, there’s the women’s version too. Which is exactly the same. Just in different colours. And smaller. If you read yesterday’s post though you will know that we felt bad about discarding the other Blowers t-shirts. Which is why we thought we’d make a few of the others too. And when I say a few, I mean twenty – ten male and ten female. They are as limited edition as it is possible to get. Unless we just made one of each. Which would be stupid. So the limited edition t-shirts – also nestled in the emporium – look like this:

You will notice that of the seven designs we drew up last week, Red Trousers, The Collection and Silhouette are not to be seen. There’s a reason for this. Or three. (Actually, we might get a 7 Reasons post out of this after all). Red Trousers got no votes. None. Not even an accidental vote that was scribbled out. Not much point in making that then. The Collection had one vote. 7 Reasons logic dictates that if only one person wants something there is no point in catering for twenty. So we haven’t. And finally Silhouette. Well, that did get quite a few votes. More than Bus Stop in fact. But it was probably illegal. Unlike the other designs, it wasn’t all our own work. Silhouette used a photo someone else had taken. We just made it look cool. Anyway, we’d have almost certainly been infringing copyright laws by selling it. So we aren’t.

So, to sum up. You can buy Hat, Glasses & Bow Tie from now until eternity. My Dear Old Thing, Bus Stop and On Mic are here until they are gone.

Finally, just a reminder that we’ll be contacting everyone who voted with their Blowers T-Shirt discount codes. Assuming we concentrate on the job in hand there is no reason why we should miss anyone, but we do have a whole heap to get through. As a result this is our safety net. If you haven’t heard from up by 6pm today send an angry email to [email protected] and we’ll sort it out.

*If you think I am going to spend hours writing a 7 Reasons piece having spent hours creating t-shirts you are sadly mistaken. I have work to do. And tennis to watch.

June 27, 2011
7 Reasons To Celebrate The 50th Anniversary Of Yuri Gagarin’s Flight Into Space

On 12th April 1961, Yuri Gagarin became the first man in space. To celebrate his achievement there are a variety of events happening all over the world, but here at 7 Reasons we thought we’d give him our own homage.

1. You’re Hired! Way before Mark Burnett invented The Apprentice, Sergei Korolev invented the The Spaceman. It wasn’t actually called that, but it should have been. The premise of The Spaceman was simple, find the world’s first spaceman. After weeks of tasks – that may or may not have included filming an advert for a brand of CCCP cereal – the final came down to a battle between Yuri Gagarin and Gherman Titov. Right up until the last minute it looked liked Titov was going to get the nod. Then Korolev found out Titov was the son of a teacher and Gagarin was the son of a peasant. The decision was made. One wonders why he didn’t read the applications properly at the beginning. He could have saved a lot of bother.

2. Infinity And Beyond! Due to the length of time The Spaceman would have to spend alone in his shuttle, part of the training process included long stays in an isolation chamber. When each cosmonaut left the chamber they were asked what they did. Titov recited poetry, Popovich sang Ukraniane folk songs, the rest thought about their past. It was only Gagarin who thought of the future. Korolev liked this. He wanted a man who thought he would come back. (Do bear in mind that this was a good few years before the introduction of iPhones and Angry Birds).

3. Clothing. Look what he’s wearing! Just look! Yuri Gagarin went around the earth in a thin orange jump suit! I wear more protective clothing when I use the hob.

4. Humour. Throughout his flight, Gagarin referred to Korolev as ‘Dawn’. What a brilliant way of getting back at the guy who has made you risk your life. In every single transcript of the flight it’s full of Gagarin talking to this mystery character called Dawn. In fairness to Korolev he played along. To be honest, I think they were flirting by the end.

5. Polite. Can you imagine John Terry walking into a press conference and giving the journalists a standing ovation? I doubt it. But that’s exactly what Gagarin did when he attended a British press conference in July 1961. He also brought them flowers. What a nice chap.

6. The Spacewoman. Seeing his new found popularity as an opportunity, Gagarin began his own search to find a woman to send into space. As you can see, there were plenty of candidates. Personally I’d have gone for the woman in the top right hand corner. She looks like she could do with some G-forces.*

7. Serious. At 7 Reasons we don’t like doing serious very often. Serious isn’t funny. Just for today though, I am. I urge you to watch some of the videos here, spend 100 minutes watching this and following as-live coverage of the flight on twitter. It’s all fascinating. Really, really fascinating.**

*This reason may or may not be true.

**I’ve spent so long writing this that Gagarin’s already parachuting into a Russian field. Sorry about that. Worth playing catch up though.

April 12, 2011
7 Reasons We Should Congratulate Rupert Bear On Reaching Ninety

As I am sure all you bear aficionados are aware, today marks Rupert Bear’s 90th Birthday. Even if you don’t regularly read his adventures in the Daily Express – and let’s be honest, that’s all of us – you should raise a glass in his name. Or, at the very least, don’t go on about how much you love Paddington Bear. It’s called respect.

1. Loyalty. In case you are wondering why I mentioned the Daily Express above, it’s because Rupert was created for the paper in 1920. The aim? To increase sales. Did it work? Wikipedia doesn’t say. And I can’t be bothered to do that much research. What I did research though is that Rupert has outlasted nineteen Daily Express editors. Nineteen! That’s quite a lot. On any other day it I’d have rounded it up to 20. But that’s nineteen different people who have given up on the paper. Rupert hasn’t given up once. He’s there, everyday, trying to increase sales. And that has to be applauded. Even if it is the Daily Express.

2. Fashion. Sadly for the world, I wasn’t around in 1920, but I would be very surprised if Rupert’s choice of attire matched the fashion of the day. A red jumper, white shoes and matching yellow-checked trousers and scarf? It’s unlikely, isn’t it? But that’s just one reason why Rupert should be celebrated. He was a bit of a maverick. He was a trend-setter. Whether the trend comes to fruition in my lifetime, who knows, but one day, everyone will be dressing like Rupert.

3. Respect. Rupert has and continues to spend many-a-day in the presence of his friends. The trusty and originally named Bill Badger. The stodgy Podgy Pig. The delectable Edward Trunk*. And my personal favourites, Ming The Dragon and Pong-Ping The Pekingese. And yet, despite chewing the fat with them for the best part of century, not once has Rupert ever uttered the immortal line, ‘Have you ever heard of deed-poll?’

4. Role Model. While Rupert’s main rivals for our affections have tragic and cliched characteristics, Rupert was the real deal. Take Winnie The Pooh for instance. Ignoring the fact that he looks cuddly, what have you got? A honey-monster who has a habit of forgetting to wear trousers. Hardly inspiring. And then we have Paddington Bear. An immigrant from Peru whose idea of helping the economy is to create a marmalade deficit. Not the role models our children need. Rupert on the other hand is everything a bear should be. Clever, loyal, adventurous and trousered.

5. Paul McCartney. Rupert remains the only bear ever to have inspired a Beatle. Paul McCartney – Rupert And The Frog Song.**

6. He Defied Hitler. Not even a war could stop Rupert. And I am not talking about a silly, little war. I am talking about World War II. Despite the fact that there was a severe paper shortage – we needed it for planes – Rupert still got an annual out and onto the shelves every year throughout the conflict. Along with Churchill sticking two fingers up, Rupert getting his annual out epitomised Britain’s approach to the war. We were never going to be beaten. And we were going to read tales of a bear going on an underwater mission in the process.

7. Alternatives. Look, it’s only right that you should celebrate one 90th Anniversary in 2010 and if you’re not going to choose Rupert to congratulate then it’s going to have to be the Bangor Operatic Society. Make the right decision.

*Edward Trunk was an elephant. Clever.

**This might cause nightmares. Or daymares. Just don’t smash your computer. You’ll regret it tomorrow.

November 8, 2010
7 Reasons Marc Fearns Should Be Celebrated

Keeping with the fine tradition of 7 Reasons founders celebrating their birthdays in June, today it is Marc’s turn. Now, I wouldn’t be the great man that I am if I didn’t dedicate this post to my fellow reasoner. So Marc, this is for you. And actually everyone else. Because you need to celebrate the great man. This is why.

1. June 18th. It might be a day in June, but apart from that, there is very little going for it. Sure, Delia Smith was born on this day, but so was Jason McAteer.* It’s about time we made this day special. A celebration of Marc Fearns is the way to go. And, if we celebrate June 18th, the day will probably go quicker.

2. Mystery. There is certainly an air of mystery about Marc Fearns. No one is quite sure how tall he is. No one is quite sure how old he is. No one is quite sure why he named his cat Horatio Pyewackett Caractacus Fearns. No one is quite sure how his brain works. But that’s good. It makes him intriguing. The last thing we want is to celebrate someone who is 5’8, 30 years-old, has a cat called Tibbles and whose brain works like clockwork. That’s been done.

3. Intrepid Experimentalist. You can say what you like about Richard Bacon – and many people do – what you can’t accuse him of though, is having a bad taste in experimentalists. There is little doubt that when it comes to cats, foil and the ability to walk, Marc Fearns is on the tip of Richard Bacon’s tongue. All because of this.

4. Rumour-Mill. What with spending most of your days making your cat walk over tin foil, it leaves a lot of time to muck around. Generally at the expense of others. Including me. The whole thing about me fancying myself? Marc started that. (No, seriously, he did). You may think me recommending you celebrate Marc – because he makes me look narcissistic – is an odd thing to do? Well, it’s not. In fact it’s quite logical. Sometimes, you are told something so much, that eventually you begin to believe it. Marc is the reason I am who I am. He could do the same for you.

5. Emotional Blackmail. How could you not feel sorry celebrate someone who looks like this?

6. Library Builder. Getting the builders in, is one of those things that fills people with dread. If it’s not how much mud they are going to traipse across the carpet, it’s how many tea-bags are they going to get through. Which is where Marc comes in. He can build a library in 90 seconds. And he doesn’t drink tea. If you want him to come and build a library for you, send him an email: [email protected]

7. 7 Reasons. The 7 Reasons concept wouldn’t exist without Marc Fearns. I know there are two of us who supposedly founded it, but I have been pressing for it to become 1 Reason for a long time now. Marc is the one who keeps it ticking over. Who keeps driving it forward. So if you like the concept, then it is he who you should celebrate. If you would prefer to read 1 Reason on a daily basis, celebrate me again. Just like you did last week. You remember, that day you really enjoyed.

*I have just discovered today is also the birthday of Fabio Capello and Sir Paul McCartney. It’s okay though. We can celebrate them all. Especially if England win.

June 18, 2010