Category: Guest Posts

Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Lose Some Weight

Today we are joined on the 7 Reasons sofa by Chris. Chris works as a financial blogger for moneysupermarket.com life insurance, and spends quite a lot of time writing about how losing weight and getting fit can help save you money on it. This year he decided to stop being such a hypocrite and sort his life out, and thought he’d go on about it endlessly both in real life and on people’s websites too. He’s also arguably funnier than we have ever been, which is a bit annoying.

Disclaimer: Neither of these men is Chris.

This year, I’ve lost just over 80 pounds in weight. No, no – don’t congratulate me. It’s nothing, really. However, if you really do want to do something for me, why not read my seven reasons why you should definitely lose weight?

1. No Longer Looking Like James Corden. This one is probably personal to me – I recently watched my friend’s wedding day video and it looks like he hired a really bad James Corden impersonator to be his best man. The best man’s speech looks like Smithy from Gavin and Bloody Stacey came barrelling in at the last moment and started taking the mick out of the poor groom while his mother looked on, aghast. I hate James Corden more than I probably should for exactly this reason.

2. Not Sweating Constantly From May To August. You know what’s really not attractive? Sweating. Especially when you can’t stop it from the moment the British weather goes a degree or two over its usual dank quagmire of about 10 degrees Celsius. I used to look like a Death Star with a leak; I’d take to hiding inside on warm days and peering out of the window like that guy from Rear Window – not exactly the best way to live your life, but arguably the best way to be near to your Pringles and the fridge.

3. Being Able To Look At Yourself In The Mirror. “Oh, hello there, me”, I quite often say now when I see myself in the mirror. “I didn’t see you there, what with you being so slender and lithe and flitting in and out through the trees like an ephemeral, gossamer thin slip of silk.”

Yeah, it’s probably quite strange that I have trees in my bathroom, but don’t judge me, man. It’s better than what I used to say to myself in the mirror, which was usually something like “Hey! You! *noisy breath* do you have any sausages? I really want a sausage but we don’t seem to have any…”

4. Being Able To Buy ‘Normal People’ Clothes. Thankfully, I was never quite relegated to the dark depths of the “big and tall” shop, but upon reaching the outer limits of even Asda’s generously sized clothing range, you do start to wonder whether you might be getting a bit too portly. Losing weight means you no longer have to worry about clothes not fitting, and can join the rest of the world in despairing because shops don’t stock anywhere near enough of the average sized stuff so all they ever have is for dolls or Silverback Gorillas.

5. A Better Class Of Nicknames. Big Boy. Big Man. Shrek. A Poor Man’s James Corden. Two of those are things I’ve called myself; the nicer two are indicative of the sorts of things people would refer to me as, rather than going “And what about you, Tubbo the Lardy?” Oddly, people seem to think that names like this are acceptable because you’ve not used the word Fat. True enough, it still amazes me how many perfect strangers start conversations with me by saying “Cuh, you’ve lost some weight, haven’t you?”, but that’s nicer than a fat joke wrapped in a nice coating – like an easter egg.

6. The Looks You Get When You Buy Food. So myself and my girlfriend are in a restaurant together. It’s a nice day, it’s lunchtime, and I know I’ve got food at home for my tea – I order a salad, and whilst I’m saying the words, I watch.
One…Two…Ping!
There they are. The raised eyebrows of a waiter or waitress who expected me to heavily and slimily drool the word “Burger!” through my sticky, salty lips until they brought me one and I devoured it like an Amoeba absorbs plant cells. Every bloody time. This is usually followed by the assumption that the person bringing the food normally makes; the one where they look at me and then the salad, then assumes they’ve got something for a different table.
This of course is very similar to that begging look the waiter would have if I did order a burger or similar; that look that says “Okay, but please don’t have a heart attack in here – at least not until 7 o’clock, when my shift finishes…”

7. Ego Inflation. When was the last time someone told you you looked fantastic, or said that they wish you could do what you do? Of course, if you’re Elle Macpherson’s identical twin who happens to do brain surgery, then it’s probably quite a lot, but for those of us normal human beings, a nice compliment probably doesn’t happen all that often. Lose a bit of weight though and they’ll come from all over the shop – lose enough and you’ll start doing what I do, where you deliberately don’t see someone for a few weeks, just so when you come strutting into the pub in your new jeans and crop top (shut up, I like showing off), they’re amazed. Losing weight doesn’t make you more confident, but everyone telling you how great you look sure as hell does!

October 31, 2011
7 Reasons To Personalise Your Own Christmas Cards

With just a matter of weeks to go before Christmas, why not do things differently this year? Why not get organised and avoid the mad mid-December rush? One way to avoid the inevitable queue is to use Hallmark Cards and their online personalised Christmas card service. Need convincing? Time to read on.

1. From Me, To You. Let’s begin with the obvious. A personalised card is just that. Unique in every way. Unless someone else also writes, “Dear Lucy, Merry Christmas, Love From Samuel. PS: I’ll try not to put your wooden leg on the fire this year!”. But let’s be honest, that’s highly unlikely. A personalised card means more. It means you have actually given it some thought. It means you haven’t just run down to the petrol station and bought the last copy of that magazine with free Christmas cards attached. That’s the true spirit of Christmas right there.

2. Technophobes. If your parents are from an era before technology took over the world, why not have some fun with them this Christmas? On opening a card and seeing it printed, “Dear Dad, Love From Charlotte,” your father will almost certainly ask you how your name is printed inside. You can either tell him that you went around the country in search of a card with the name Charlotte in it – which will impress him and make him feel loved no end – or you can explain that it’s an intellicard. Basically, that’s a card that uses remarkable technology to decipher the name of both sender and recipient simply by touch. And yes, an intelligence is particularly good if you’ve just bought your Dad socks. Again. He’ll ignore his present and be baffled by the card for hours.

3. Something For All. Finding suitable Christmas cards for different people gets harder and harder each year. Using Hallmark’s personalised service though, you can be sure that you are going to get the right card for the right person. There are traditional cards for those who celebrate Christmas as a religious festival, bright and colourful cards for those who use it as an excuse to party and an OK magazine card for the celebrity addict in the family. Who, incidentally, should be shut in a room by themselves for the day. Probably with Katie Price’s latest picture book.

4. Attention To Detail. This reason probably applies for the more haphazard sex, but we won’t discount women. For many people a card is the last thing they think about buying. Usually five minutes before the shops close on Christmas Eve. As a result they fly into the nearest retailer and pick up the first one they see. Then they get home and realise it says ‘sister’, ‘aunt’ or ‘my little fantasy’ instead of ‘wife’. Not good. Get online and use Hallmark’s personalised Christmas cards service. It’ll help you concentrate the mind and make sure you won’t spend most of Christmas morning trying to cover up the word ‘secretary’ with a felt tip pen.

5. Children. Toy manufacturers make a killing at Christmas. Not literally, obviously. As Herod demonstrated, that would be wrong. We mean they make a lot of money. Simply by making children want toys they don’t need. It’s genius. But very expensive for the parents. So this year don’t give them a present. Give them a card that’s better than a present. Thanks to Hallmark Cards your child can now star alongside Woody and Buzz on a Christmas card. Your children won’t want a present, they’ll want to know when Toy Story 4 is coming out. (It should be said this will only work with young children. By the time they’re 24 they’re fairly wise to that sort of thing).

6. Words and Pictures. Why is it that whenever you find a card with a half-decent design, the words inside always read, “Merry Christmas to the one I love, you keep me warm and snug on the sheepskin rug”? Similarly, you might find a verse that doesn’t make you vomit all over the card rack, but the front of the card says, “To my step-mum’s sister’s daughter’s boyfriend”. You can’t give that to your brother – unless he is your brother we suppose. It’s far better to get online, choose the design you want and write the wants you need to say.

7. This Is Us! You know those sickly yearly newsletters that you in get in Christmas cards from some families – the one that tells you Tarquin went Zambia on his gap year and set up a water buffalo sanctuary – well, a personalised card is perfect retribution. On many of the cards you can add a photo, and with so many photo editing packages out there it would seem rude not to show the smug ones exactly where you’ll be that Christmas. Nestled above an accompanying photo should be the words, “Merry Christmas From Sir Richard Branson’s Private Island!” That’ll shut them up. They’ll probably take you off their Christmas card list too. That’ll save a stamp.

October 30, 2011
7 Reasons Your Business Should Use Energy Comparison Websites

With energy prices set to soar yet again, more and more businesses are starting to take the decisions they make about their energy supplier far more seriously. Long gone are the days when you’d just sign on the dotted line and agree to any rate as long as you had power to the PCs. These days businesses really are looking for the best deals. Using energy comparison websites such as uSwitch for Business can help you do just that. Here’s why:

1. Apathy. Be honest, the thought of choosing an energy supplier doesn’t exactly get you hyperventilating with excitement does it? When it comes to running a business it’s very much a chore. A chore you’ll probably get one of your colleagues to deal with. The problem is – and we hate to be the ones to break it to you – your colleague is far more interested in playing with the new app on their smartphone than talking with energy suppliers. As a result you’ll get a knock on the office door at 4.59pm and the message, “I can’t find any better deals than the one we’ve got.” Of course they couldn’t. They didn’t even look. It would have taken minutes on uSwitch for Business.

2. Logic. If your company was going to buy a new car, printer, water cooler or bottle of milk, you’d look around for the best price. Well, maybe not for the milk – you’d probably break the petty cash piggy bank for that – but for the more outlandish investments definitely. Unfortunately, energy prices now fall into that outlandish category. As a result, it’s time to treat them as you would that new vehicle. It’s common sense really. And all good businesses are built on a foundation of common sense aren’t they?

3. Impartiality. Let’s spoil a myth. If you phone up energy supplier A it’s highly unlikely they’re going to tell you to give B a call. Similarly, B aren’t going to suggest you contact C. Sad as it may seem, A, B and C all want your money and will do their best to convince you that they are the best. To discover which two are being economical with the truth, use a comparison website like uSwitch for Business. They aren’t interested in which supplier you go with, they are interested in making sure you get the best deal. (Incidentally, there aren’t energy suppliers called A, B and C, so don’t bother searching for them. We were just being impartial).

4. Jargonbusting. With so may tariffs and rates and rules and regulations, working out which supplier you should go with is a bit of a nightmare. Just understanding half the spiel is complicated enough. Who knows, perhaps they write things in such a way that you’re meant to get confused and bored before the end of the second paragraph. Perhaps that’s their best chance of getting you to sign. It’s good to know then that you’ve got someone like uSwitch for Business who will cut through all that nonsense and tell you, simply – in English, not gibberish – who will give you the best deal.

5. Cost. This is probably what you’re most interested in isn’t it? The good news is there is money to be saved here. So before you automatically renew your contract, take a look around. Use uSwitch for Business and see how much they can save you. It could be as much as 70%. That’s a massive saving on a packet of doughnuts, let alone on your energy bills.

6. Time. It’s an old saying and it’s probably become something of a cliché now, but that’s not to say it isn’t true. Time is money. If you have the time to speak to dozens of different energy suppliers, find out what they have to offer and then do your own comparison, then either your company is leading the way out of the economic gloom or you’re doing it wrong. The chances are your company doesn’t have the time to sit down for a day and analyse who you should go with and why. You’re far too busy doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Or planning the Christmas party. That’s why comparing gas and electricity for business on comparison websites is an absolute time saver. And time is money.

7. Gimmick Free Zone. Which bank would you choose – the bank that can get you the best rates or the bank that has the radio station or the water-slide? One would hope, for your sake, that it’s the former. Deciding which energy supplier to go with is exactly the same. No one is interested in the fact that supplier A can get you 20% off at the local spa, nor are they interested that B can get you 10% off your mobile contracts if you switch from that network to that one within 30 days of signing a contract. All businesses want to know is who is the best energy supplier for their needs. And that’s exactly what energy comparison websites such as uSwitch will tell you.

October 29, 2011
7 Reasons Why A Gastric Band Might Be The Answer

There are many reasons why someone may wish to lose weight and many ways in which they could go about it. Today though, we’re looking at just one. We’re delving deep into the world of gastric bands. And, believe it or not, it’s actually quite a trip.

1. Fashion Options. There is so much advice about what you should or shouldn’t wear if you consider yourself a little overweight, that it’s almost impossible to know who to believe. The general consensus appears to be “wear something black with vertical stripes”. Which is great if you like looking like a zebra, but even going with that look seven days a week might be a bit much. So why not take a look at having a gastric band? It’ll add a bit of life to your wardrobe too.

2. Elastic. The unscientific alternative to a gastric band has surely got to be an elastic band. However, while putting the latter around your waist may sound like a cheap alternative, are you really going to trust the stationery cupboard when it comes to helping you with your weight loss ambitions? Hopefully not. For a start, it’s a well known fact that elastic bands never come in the size you need. They’re either far too small that they snap as soon as they are stretched or they’re so big that you have to wrap them round at least thrice before they have any impact. Oh, and then they snap too. You really don’t want elastic bands snapping around your waist. Who knows where they’ll end up?

3. Genes. It’s very easy for the thin brigade to walk down the street, see someone without the perfect body shape and immediately assume it’s because they don’t do any exercise or because they have an unhealthy diet. The reality can be very different. For many it’s a case of genetics. Despite walking miles a day, going to the gym and embracing every soup and lettuce based diet out there, nothing seems to help. Meanwhile, other people live on their takeaway and TV diet to no apparent adverse consequences. It seems incredibly unfair. So talk to someone who understands. Talk to The Hospital Group and find out how they can help you.

4. Medication. It could be that you’re on medication. Or it could be that you have a health condition. Both can cause weight issues making it very difficult for you to keep to a weight you are happy with. It shouldn’t have to be that way and thanks to gastric bands it doesn’t have to be. Not only will they help you control your weight, a gastric band also helps reduce the risk of developing high blood pressure, diabetes and many other obesity related disorders.

5. The Oxygen Deficiency Approach. The quickest way to look thin is to take a deep breath and use your tummy muscles to suck in your stomach. The problem with this approach is that it’s not very conducive to talking. If you really don’t want someone to see that you’re a bit overweight, you’ll have to suck in your stomach, walk up to them, spin around, breathe out, talk, breathe in, spin around and await their response. Which might me something along the lines of, “you know something, you’re weird.” It’s probably not the way you wanted the conversation to go.

6. The ‘Music’. This will probably come as no surprise to you, but rather predictably there is a group called The Gastric Band. It needs to be pointed out right now that The Gastric Band will not help you lose weight. Not unless you want to go for the ‘listen to noise, get a migraine, be very sick’ approach. Something we don’t condone in anyway. Far better would be to save your ears, save your head and save your loved-one making regular trips between your bedside and the bathroom with buckets by getting a gastric band instead.

7. Not So Magic. The gastric band isn’t the only option of course, you could have a gastric balloon inserted into your stomach. It’s a viable alternative, but do beware if you see something that causes knots in your stomach. You might end up fashioning a balloon dog. Or a giraffe. Sure, it’s a good trick to pull off, but rather wasted inside your stomach don’t you think?

October 23, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons My Wife Buys The Best Presents

Just supposing, for instance, that this was the last Guest Post we ever published. Who would you like it to be written by? I suspect at least 26% of you would choose Richard O’Hagan. Like Dr Simon Percy Jennifer Best who posted last week and Liz Gregory who posted a few weeks ago, Richard is a 7 Reasons stalwart. He’s the author of The Memory Blog, the face behind @theskiver and he likes marmite. That, we think, is all you need to know.

Crisps!

It recently came to my attention that there are people out there who make a career of going shopping for other people. Now, personally, I cannot think of anything worse than going shopping for other people. I mean, going shopping for myself is stressful enough. Going shopping for presents doubly so. Why on earth would you want to make a career out of it*?

Fortunately**, I am married to a woman who also hates shopping. Which therefore makes it even more surprising that she is the best present buyer ever. I don’t just mean by comparison with me, either, because I am completely rubbish at it (one year I gave her a cheese grater as a gift). Just consider this: The People Who Buy Presents For Other People need you to give them some sort of a list, so that they know roughly what to get. I have a wish list on Amazon – two of them, in fact – and my wife almost never uses it. Instead, she uses her initiative to come up with wonderful gifts such as this:

1. A Box of Seabrook’s Tomato Ketchup Crisps. My life is an endless quest for ketchup flavoured crisps, and has been ever since I first tried them on our honeymoon. Since when I have rarely seen them in the shops, not even in the USA where, frankly, you’d expect the locals to be munching them down for breakfast lunch and dinner. It had never occurred to me to simply see if you could buy them off the internet, but my wife did.

2. A Cross Pen. No, not an angry writing implement. I once commented to my wife that my Tombo fountain pen seemed to be nearing the end of its life. I then thought no more of it until, approximately three months later, I received a beautiful Cross pen as a Christmas present. A pen of such high quality that I’ve had to learn how to write with it. And I didn’t even ask for it.

3. A Book About Scriptwriting. For almost two years now (or over two years, depending upon when this gets published) I have been labouring over a script for a television comedy. It is very hard to get a script commissioned if you are not either an established writer, or related to one, or both. It hadn’t even occurred to me that there are books that I could consult about the subject, but this one now nestles in my bedside cabinet where I can dip into it whenever I want. So far, it has been invaluable.

4. A Letter Opener. I don’t get much mail, and most of what I do get is either bills that I have already received online and magazines that I subscribe to. But every now and then I get a proper letter, in a proper envelope, and I need to open it. My fingers are not only large, but they are often in a state of mangledness after a close encounter with a cricket ball or a rugby boot. I have always wanted a letter opener and was therefore extremely pleased when my wife gave me one as a Christmas present, even though I still cannot recall mentioning to her that I wanted one.

5. Marmite Spoons. That’s right, spoons for scooping the yummy delight that it Marmite out of the jar and onto your bread, toast or whatever. Each has a different Marmite jar on the top. You can’t beat being able to offer your guests Marmite with a special spoon. Words cannot describe the envious looks that I get.

6. A CD Subscription. Did you know that Rough Trade Records have a subscription service? I didn’t. My wife did. It is a very simple plan. You give them money and each month they choose a new CD and send it to you. You discover music that you might not listen to otherwise. It is like the Olympics ticket lottery, only you actually get something at the end of it. A brilliant idea, and a brilliant gift

7. Cricket. Not a gift that you can easily giftwrap, I’ll admit. Cricket may be the best game on the planet, but even I have to admit that it can take a little while to play. Despite this, my wife has never once tried to stop me playing it, or going to watch it, and lumbering her with our exuberant child to look after. There are not many better gifts that selflessly letting someone do something they love.

All of which means that you can forget using any of these services, because they will never be as inventive at gift buying as my wife is. Now, where did I put that cheese grater?

*Unless you are my mother, who would regard this as a dream job.

**For me, not necessarily for her.

October 22, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Need The iPhone 4S

Apple’s latest and greatest iPhone has taken the internet by storm, polarising opinion but still garnering a shedload of reviews in the process. Love, hate or tolerate it, there’s no hiding from the 4S this autumn. iPhone 4S deals are going on sale this weekend, so expect lengthy queues outside an Apple store near you. If you’re still unsure about what the iPhone 4S has to offer, here are seven reasons why you need to empty your wallet in order to fill your pocket with this mobile marvel.

It’s an iPhone 4S

1. Voice Activation. Listen up, button-pressing luddites, because with Siri voice activation this only needs said once: The future is here, and guess what? It speaks your freaking language. The iPhone’s new voice recognition technology is so advanced that you can dictate emails and text messages and even have them read back to you. Similarly, you can have your phone read out text messages you’ve received, leaving you truly hands-free. Worried about the weather? Ask Siri ‘Do I need an umbrella?’ and a smarter, less whiney version of C3PO will get back to you with the forecast. Hopefully.

2. Beefed Up Battery. We’re not just talking about relief from that irritating bleep bleep that tells you you’re low on juice. (Surely the bleep bleep is only serving to further drain the battery?) The battery fitted to the 4S allows you to talk for up to eight hours on 3G (14 hours on 2G); browse the internet for up to six hours (nine on Wi-Fi); watch up to ten hours of video; and listen to music for an eardrum-shattering 40 hours straight. If you’re a fair weather phone user, you’ll be pleased to hear that the 4S has standby power for 200 hours. If maths isn’t your thing, that’s over a week, incidentally.

3. Improved Camera. Are you truly ready for your close-up? Because this camera catches every wrinkle and every blemish, with eight megapixels working hard to prove that the camera doesn’t lie. The new cam has the ability to shoot moving pictures at a highly light-sensitive and impressive 1080p. You can finally leave your digital camera at home without worrying that you’ll miss a moment, although you may have to spend far more time getting ready to ensure you always look your best when a snap happy iPhone 4S owner is in your vicinity.

4. iOS 5. The newest Apple operating system can be downloaded by all iPhone users, but the 4S has it built in. The iOS 5 is powered by an A5 chip processor similar to the one found on the iPad 2 and can operate at twice the speed of the iPhone 4. Apple have also implemented complete Twitter integration with the iOS 5, meaning that fans of the site can effortlessly tweet from their phones. The Facebook app for iPad has also been deemed iOS 4.0 compatible; expect to see it migrating to iOS 5 in the not-too-distant future.

5. AirPlay Mirroring. With the 4S you can mirror your iPhone’s screen to your TV set via an Apple TV unit. Browse the web; watch a movie; view a slideshow – all on a big screen. This feature is especially exciting for game developers who no longer have to design graphics solely for a small screen. Who needs a Wii when you have AirPlay?

6. It Isn’t The iPhone 4… …which means no more antenna problems. The iPhone 4S has fixed the pesky signal problems that caused such a stir upon the release of its predecessor. It has a dual-antenna design that allows the phone to switch in areas of poor signal, and choose the stronger of the two in true Darwinian style. The best part of this is that you will no longer need one of those silly bumper cases for the 4S.

7. It Looks Virtually Identical To Its Predecessor. Hang on, so the 4S looks almost the same as the iPhone 4? Isn’t that a bad thing? When the iPhone 4 was released, it was heralded as being one of the sleekest, slickest handsets on the market. Nothing’s changed since then; it still holds its own against the competition. Why change a winning formula? Some people are worried that its identical looks will mean people will not be able to instantly recognize that you have the very latest iPhone. On the contrary though, your iPhone 4S will be instantly identifiable by the already mentioned lack of bumper case.

So there you have it: seven reasons why 4S is best.

October 16, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons There Is No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

It has, I think you’ll agree, been too long. Too long since Dr Simon Percy Jennifer Best sat on the 7 Reasons sofa and shared with us thoughts from the deepest sanctums of his mind. Today that changes. Because he’s back. He needs no further introduction so we’ll leave you in his capable hands. We’re off to the pub for lunch. He’s paying.

‘Free Lunch’ by The Ethicurean

“There’s no such thing as a free lunch” is one of those glib phrases that people trot out and everyone accepts without investigation in to its accuracy. Now you don’t need to, because here I give seven reasons as to why there really is no such thing as a free lunch.

1. Potential Suitors. Often on a date, especially in these enlightened times, people will spilt the bill. But there might be a rare occasion when you’re taken out for a meal and the other person offers to pay. “Great,” you think. “A free lunch!” Wrong. The chances are that they will want something in return, a walk along the beach, a goodnight kiss, your hand in marriage. Would you swap any of these for a spaghetti carbonara? No. Nor would I.

2. Aged Relatives. Imagine the scene. You’re an impoverished student and your Great Aunt Doris* rings you up and invites you round for Sunday lunch. “Great,” you say to yourself. “A change from tinned tuna and beans on toast, and a free lunch!” Wrong. You arrive and while the smell of roast beef is wafting through the house, Great Aunt Doris will ask you for help with something relatively straight forward, changing a light bulb for example…. By the time you’re able to escape several hours later you’ve cut the grass, creosoted the fence, put out the bins, cleaned out the guttering and regrouted the bathroom. You’ve saved her several hundred pounds and given vast quantities of labour in return for a bit of overcooked beef and soggy Yorkshire puddings.

3. Business Lunches. We’ve all been there. Arranging a meeting and your colleague/client says, “why don’t we meet over lunch, we can get it on expenses”. “Excellent,” you think. “A day that I don’t have to pay for an over-priced sandwich and get a free lunch!” Wrong. Okay, you can get to see people and impress your colleagues, but it requires you to talk to people and costs valuable time. There is a surefire rule that applies to meetings: not only do they cost valuable time, but you invariably leave them with more work to do than at the start. Is the free lunch worth it when you have to stay in work late and buy an expensive Chinese takeaway for dinner so you don’t collapse with starvation before you get home?

The same applies to conferences where, although the lunch is free, the cost is to your soul. It dies around the same time as the first speaker puts up his fourteenth powerpoint slide.

4. Friends With Children. There is a stage in many people’s lives where you are single, but have friends who are married with kids. You probably get to see these friends less often. Then, when summer starts they ring you, “come round for a barbecue, we’ve still got lots of wine left over from Timmy’s christening so there’s no need for you to bring anything”. You’re free, you want to see them and excited at the prospect of free food AND drink. Well, calm your excitement. This invitation is just a thinly veiled ruse by the parents to neck as much chardonnay as they can while their hyperactive children, thrilled by the novelty of a new adult, begs you to play with them. As for the free lunch? Not a bit of it. Okay, you get plenty of grilled chicken and salad and a couple of glasses of wine. Cost to you: a dry cleaning bill for your grass stained trousers, a new hat after your panama is used as a Frisbee and a large chiropractors bill having been rugby tackled by “little” Jamie, who is nine years old but already the size and weight of Brian Moore.

5. Parents Of Your Future Spouse. Picture the scene. You’ve been with your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner for a respectable length of time. Then one day they say to you, “my parents have invited us for lunch on Sunday” Cue you breaking out into a cold sweat about what to take them. Your partner reassures you that their mother doesn’t need flowers, and their father doesn’t need a bottle of Scotch. “Phew,” you think. “A free lunch!” Wrong. You’re on to a loser here. If it goes badly and you’re (even inadvertently) rude about them/their house/their food/their dog or, perhaps worse, you’re too friendly and don’t give your partner enough attention, then you pay by having to buy them presents in recompense. If it goes really well it will progress your relationship to the stage where it costs you a hefty amount for an engagement ring or your life if you find yourself married to them.

6. Single Friends. I, like lots of people, have single friends who are, lets face it, what can charitably be described as “hard work”** When your friend that fits that description sends you an innocuous text message saying, “let’s meet for lunch, my treat,” you may think that means a free lunch and a pleasant afternoon. That text message notification should actually be an alarm bell, as what it actually means is an afternoon where you spend hours counselling them about their life, their job, their latest (failed) relationship, clothes and the price of garden furniture. This involves you consuming the annual output of a medium sized French vineyard to cope. They join you in polishing off several bottles, then when the bill comes they say, “I’ll pay for the food, can you get the wine?”. Free lunch? Not a bit of it. There’s a very real prospect that you will need to remortagage your house to pay your credit card bill that month.

7. Yourself. Clearly the only safe person to have lunch with is yourself, you would be paying so obviously it wouldn’t be a free lunch, but it’s likely it will be cheaper than the other options.

*If you don’t have a Great Aunt Doris then you can imagine my Great Aunt Doris.

** I don’t rule out the possibility that I am, for some of my friends ‘hard work’.

October 15, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Recycle Your Old CDs

Accessing music via your computer is now faster, easier and often cheaper than going to the shops and buying good old fashioned CDs. MP3 players and mobile-phones have combined to make your CD collection utterly redundant. But instead of chucking them, why not do a bit of recycling instead? Yes, that’s right. Recycle your CDs. Here are seven reasons why you should consider doing just that.

Why you gotta recycle that compact disc? Because we want to! Because we want to!

1. Because You Can. When you bought that copy of Definitely Maybe back in ’94, the guy in the record shop probably didn’t tell you it was recyclable. But he should have done. Because it is. Almost 100% recyclable in fact. Probably slightly less if it’s something by Westlife, but recyclable none the less.

2. Logic. When you’ve finished your bottle of wine, do you stack it in the corner of the lounge with all the others? No, of course you don’t. When are you ever going to use forty-two empty bottles? Instead you pop them in the boot of the car and take them to the recycle bank. CDs are exactly the same. Are you actually going to listen to your collection of Now That’s What I Call Music CDs? You know, that collection you started when you thought it would be fun to try and buy every single version that came out – only you gave up in 1996 when they became tribute albums to Status Quo. Get rid of them. But, don’t trash that trash, do something useful and recycle.

3. Spread The Music. Assuming you’re not one of those emo-kids – and you don’t look like one – the chances are you won’t have scratched the back of your CDs in a moment of wallowing self pity. As a result they can be used again. By someone else. So give other people the chance to hear some great music. As strange as it may sound, someone, somewhere would just love to get their hands on your Showaddywaddy.

4. Damage Limitation. But what, I hear you ask, do I do if I am into that ‘scratching-CDs-with-a-blunt-compasses’ lark. Do not fear. Most CDs have scuffs or scratches that can be repaired, so you should be fine. If you’ve snapped them in half though and tried to repair them with a bit of tape, it’s probably a no go. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes there can be too much Phil Collins in the world.

5. The Flying Lizards. What better reason to recycle than to make yourself some money. The Flying Lizards didn’t sing about it, but online CD recycling sites such as Music Magpie allow you to trade in your unwanted CDs and get some money in return. With the extra cash in your pocket, you can always invest in some new music. If you’re really clever you could buy a CD, listen to it and then sell it. And then the process starts all over again.

6. Mr Nice Guy. Of course, you could show you have a caring side. Recycling your old CDs can benefit some great causes. Rather than simply pocketing the money you raise from recycling, you can send it straight to any number of very needy charity organisations. Which would be far more helpful to them than taking your Billie Piper CD to the local charity shop.

7. Piles. Of course, the main reason we should all recycle our unwanted CDs is the environment. Sadly, over 2,500 tonnes of CDs are thrown away each year, needlessly filling up waste landfills around the world. Quite frankly this country is in enough of a mess already. We don’t need piles of Cliff Richard adding to it.

So, don’t waste another minute staring at that redundant CD rack. Sites in the UK and sites abroad like Music Magpie Germany will allow you to recycle your old CDs in return for some extra cash in your pocket to spend on that new download you’ve been previewing or perhaps in helping a local charity.

October 9, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Women Are Better Poker Players Than Men

I know what you’re thinking: you haven’t seen too many members of the fairer sex sitting at the winner’s table on the World Series of Poker Championship. In fact, a woman has never won (or even been the runner up). So how can women be better poker players and not get in on the biggest event of the year? In truth, there simply aren’t that many women out there playing poker in general, much less competing at the elite level. As James Brown aptly stated, this is a man’s world, and even if women were inclined to break in (which few are) they might find themselves the subject of scoffing, ridicule, and derision, making it more than a bit uncomfortable to continue. This statement also seems to hold true even with real time gaming casinos that you can see and play on the internet. However, if a women understood the many ways in which they hold all the cards when it comes to hijacking a game, they might be more interested in hitting the tables. Here are a few reasons to drop the dishrag and get to the casino.

1. Anatomy. The feminine wiles are built to beguile, and when it comes to playing poker you need to use every asset to your advantage. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go beyond the boundaries of decency, but there’s no law against flaunting what you’ve got in order to distract and befuddle your male opponents.

2. Emotions. Men generally expect women to be emotional basket-cases and you can definitely create a strategy based on this misconception. While most men try to put up a stone-cold façade when they play poker, you can easily mess with their game by running the gamut of emotions. Not only will they have trouble reading you, but you can use this trick to conceal tells, upset the balance of the game, and keep your opponents guessing at what your wild mood swings might signal.

3. Sexism. Men don’t expect women to be able to compete at poker simply because it is a male-dominated field. They will try to bully you out of the game by acting superior and using aggressive betting tactics. But don’t let them get you riled. Instead, be patient and let them overextend – then go in for the kill!

4. Multitasking. Believe it or not, juggling the demands of a job and a household has made you eminently qualified to play poker. If you can load children and groceries into the car while brokering a business deal over the phone, you can certainly weigh the odds on your hand while searching for opponent tells and bluffing until you can get the cards you need. Can a man do that? Send your husband to the grocery store for eggs and milk and watch him come home with £70 worth of junk that the children talked him into (but no eggs or milk). Yeah, you get the idea.

5. Reading People. Any mum can tell when her children are lying, and since most men are like overgrown boys, you can definitely use this skill to unseat opponents at the poker table. If you’re not a mum, never fear; you’ve probably spent enough time fending off male attention to know when a man is trying to sell you a line of bull.

6. Snap Decisions. Indecision is a luxury most women cannot afford. With a multitude of tasks to accomplish each and every day, it’s important to prioritise and trust one’s intuition. This skill is invaluable to a poker player.

7. Research. This isn’t like dice or roulette games, in which everything is more or less left up to chance; poker is a thinking game, so the more you know, the better your odds of winning. Women have a tendency to approach situations from a place of knowledge, meaning they will research a new topic to death. This only means that you will have an edge over even more advanced male players, many of whom mistakenly believe they have reached a point where they know it all. With ongoing research and practice you can prove them all wrong!

October 8, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In The UK

Forget the Costa del Sol, it’s time to embrace Costa del Brighton. For too long, too many people have ignored the UK as a holiday destination. Why they have done so remains a complete mystery, but it’s time for a change. Here are just seven reasons you should ignore those foreign places and keep it British.

1. Active Pursuits. Our changeable and unreliable weather is the butt of many jokes, but let’s be honest, not everyone wants to lounge around on a beach in 30+ degree heat every day. Especially when you have a German eyeing up your sun lounger. All too often, when you go abroad you just end up sitting on the beach or by the pool in an attempt to keep cool. This is fine if doing nothing is what you had in mind, but if you want to be active and explore your surroundings, this can be quite limiting. There’s only so long you can go on a tour of the hotel reception before it gets a bit same-y. So take a look at a UK holiday; you may be surprised at the wealth of activities on offer. You might not have noticed, but we even have one or two beautiful, award winning beaches of our own.

2. Dizzy Heights. If you are one of the many people who don’t like flying, jetting off on a foreign holiday may very well be your idea of hell. Wherever you are in the UK, you are never far from a superb tourist destination. Coastal cottages in the West Country, in the south or in the Scottish Highlands allow you to get away from the stresses of home life without having to travel for hours upon hours.

3. Greenery. Holidaying in the UK is greener. And we don’t mean just the grass: consider your carbon foot print. It is estimated that the vast number of commercial flights each year are pumping 600 million tonnes of carbon dioxide directly into the atmosphere. By around 2020, air travel is expected to be the single biggest contributor to global warming. Basically, what we’re saying is, if you don’t go on holiday in the UK, you are killing your grandchildren.

4. When Is A Bargain A Rip-Off? You may have noticed that, financially speaking, times are hard in the UK at the moment. Air travel can be expensive but you will also need to take into account the exchange rate. It is no good bagging a bargain abroad if you find that everything is so expensive that you can’t go out. You’ll have to stay in your room and watch Sky News all day.

5. All In The Chalet Together. Holidaying here in the UK and spending your hard earned cash in our towns and cities is good for our economy. In 2010, David Cameron suggested that the UK has been drastically underselling itself as a tourist destination. At a conference in London, Mr Cameron urged more Brits to holiday in the UK, emphasising that tourism is “one of the best and fastest ways of generating the jobs we need so badly in this country”. And, just for the sake of political balance, Ed Miliband has just this week said he had a lovely time in Liverpool – bar the power cuts. So there we go. Agreement across the political spectrum.

6. Familiarity Breeds Content. Familiarity can be an important factor for those wishing to stay in the UK. If you enjoy good old English meat and two veg, an English fry up for breakfast, the occasional fish and chip supper or a battered Mars bar, then you can’t go far wrong here.

7. Sprechen Sie The Lingo. Unless you’re going to Glasgow, there will be no need for a phrase book every time you want to buy something or order in a restaurant. So for something truly British, look at one of the many coastal cottages available throughout the UK at Sykes Cottages.

If you usually holiday abroad but you are considering staying the UK for a change or for one of the reasons above, then you may very well find yourself surprised. The UK has so many stunning destinations. With a little research you should be able to find the perfect place and you may very well end up wondering why you’ve been bothering to go abroad every year.

October 2, 2011