7 Reasons

Tag: waldo ponce

  • 7 Reasons January’s Premier League Transfer Window Was a Major Disappointment

    7 Reasons January’s Premier League Transfer Window Was a Major Disappointment

    The January transfer window closed yesterday after a month of fevered speculation and very little in the way of big deals.  Here are 7 Reasons that it was a major disappointment.

     

    1.  Where’s Waldo? Despite strong rumours in December, Chilean defender Waldo Ponce was not signed by Wigan in the January transfer window.  I can’t begin to express how disappointing this was.  I wasn’t even consoled by their signing of Moses.  Waldo Ponce…Waldo Ponce!  It would have been amazing.

    2.  Loan moves. It seems that most of the transfers in this January’s window have been loan moves.  That’s not surprising given the current financial state of many of many Premier League clubs, but the redistribution of players who are not deemed good enough to make it into the the first teams at their own clubs to other clubs is hardly exciting.  Also, Robinho left the Premier League on a loan deal, and he was really entertaining me.  Well, off the pitch, anyway.

    Ruud van Nistelrooy visits the set of a popular American television show.

    3.  Ruud van Nistelrooy. A genuine world-class striker, he was linked with just about every major Premier League club this January and hasn’t gone to any of them.  He’s gone to Hamburg where, if he can steer clear of hoof injuries, he should do rather well.  Or if you believe Wikipedia, he’s signed for Gateshead many years into the future.

    Wikipedia

     

    4.  Harry.  The ever-prolific Harry Redknapp has been disappointing during this transfer window – he’s only brought a couple of players in and sent a couple out on loan.  Not only has he been unusually inactive this January, he’s also been below par when dealing with the media.  This is how he announced the signing of Eider Gudjohnsen: “It was his decision to come to us. He said ‘I want to come to Tottenham’.”   Sadly, I could find no Youtube footage of this revealing press conference.

    5.  Campbell. With the arrival of Thomas Vermaelen in the summer Arsenal seemed to have completed their defensive line-up.  And, to most people, it appeared that all they needed to revitalise their team in January was a big, prolific striker and an aggressive defensive midfielder.  So they re-signed lumbering war-horse, Sol Campbell.  Opinion is divided over whether Sol will be a good signing for them.  The argument from most of those in favour of the move seems to be that he was a great player once, so he’ll be fine, despite lacking the pace that most people believe is necessary to play in the Premier League.  I just hope that he can still do this.

    6.  Manchester United. Behind Chelsea in the title race, it was supposed that Fergie would want to improve his squad in January. The most exciting transfer news from Old Trafford last month was Danny Wellbeck going out on loan to Preston North End. Do you remember where you were when you heard that? No, me either.

    7.  Final Day. The activity on the final day of the transfer window is usually frenetic and exciting.  The biggest announcement on the final day of this window was that Robbie Keane had gone to Celtic on loan.  That’s right, a talented and exciting player is leaving the Premier League – for a bit.  That pretty much summed up this January transfer window.  A loan move that does nothing to enrich the quality of the Premier League and not a lot else.  It’s lucky we had John Terry to distract us.

     

     

     

     

     

  • 7 Reasons to go to the Football Match

    7 Reasons to go to the Football Match

    the_football_match

    1.  History. You get no sense of history watching a match on television.  If you go to the Milton End at Fratton Park though, you can see an impressive recreation of the football experience in Victorian times.  If it weren’t for the presence of “ladies” and the absence of flat-caps and rattles I would have believed I’d gone back in time.  They even exhorted their team to “play up.”  Nobody’s done that since colour was invented.  I think I saw Dickens in the row behind me, sitting between a Muffin Man and an urchin.

    2.  Perspective. When you watch televised football, most of the footage is shot side-on from the main stand.  This gives a good perspective on the game and gives you a tactical overview of events.  You can get this at live football too, by sitting in the centre of one of the main stands.  If you prefer excitement, however, nothing beats sitting behind the goal that your team is attacking.  The spectacle of watching your strikers shooting at the space directly ahead of you is unsurpassable.*

    *If your strike-force contains an Aliadiere or a Voronin you can replicate this experience by sitting near a corner-flag, the one furthest from the barn-door and the cows-arse.

    3.  Wit. There’s much wit and humour to be heard at live football.  There are funny chants, heckles, pithy observations and bawdy asides.  Wigan are considering signing Chilean defender Waldo Ponce in January.  I may move to the North-West and buy a season ticket.  It’s a name with enormous humour potential, the best since Celtic signed Rafael Scheidt.

    4.  Alan Green. Supercilious hectoring blabbermouth Alan Green might be at the match but don’t worry, it’s quite noisy there and you won’t be able to hear him.  Also, he won’t be able to talk over everyone in the crowd whose opinion differs from his own, which is at least 97% of them – the ones with eyes in their heads and functioning brains.

    5.  Advise. You can’t help your team by watching the match at home.  At the match you can, by shouting.  If you’ve spotted something the players haven’t, or developed a new tactic that your manager hasn’t considered, you can let them know instantly.  Who knows?  You may even change the course of the match with your perceptive insights.  Or you may not, like the man next to me three weeks ago who bellowed “Get the ball!” whenever his team weren’t in possession.  He is presumably the man that warnings on coffee cups and rear-view-mirrors are for, I had wondered.

    6.  Pedestrians. Football matches are dangerous places for cars. Tannoy announcements often seem to consist of an endless stream of car-park calamity. “Can the owner of a silver Ford Focus (they’re all silver), registration number xxx xxxx please go to the car park as their car has its lights on/has its windows open/is parked in the way/is on fire/has rolled away/has the keys in the door/has been struck by the opposing team’s bus/is being vandalised/is playing Radio 2 at an immoderate volume.   Militant pedestrians love hearing this litany of automotive adversity, it may be why they go.

    7.  Comedy. When you watch football on television, the cameras aren’t following the referee and often miss it when he does something funny, like falling over.  I can’t think of anything that is funnier than a referee falling over, except for a referee falling over a dog…or a referee falling over a linesman…or a referee being chased by a rogue elephant…or a referee being satirised by Ian Hislop…or a referee slipping on a banana skin dropped by the fourth official…

    There are many things funnier than the referee falling over.  The ref falling over is still very funny though.  If you go to the match, you may witness it.