7 Reasons

Tag: Tracy Emin

  • Russian Roulette Sunday: The Trouble With 7 Reasons

    Russian Roulette Sunday: The Trouble With 7 Reasons

    Howdy! I’ll give you two guesses as to who is writing this. Wrong! Correct! Yes, it’s me, Jon. Now for those of you who read 7 Reasons on a daily basis (I.E.: Marc) you’ll know that on Wednesday of this week I wrote a rather scathing piece about the modern day Blue Peter. I think it’s horrendous. This belief is not irrational, I did actually watch it. In my piece I criticised a lot of things. The presenters, the props and the theme tune to name just three. Mainly my angst was with the presenters though. I, rather harshly in hindsight, described them as ‘idiots’. I retract that now. They are not ‘idiots’. They’re just ‘playing idiots’. And there is a big distinction. I am sure many have read some of the stuff I have written on this site (Thursday for example) and thought I am an idiot. I’m not really, but I do act like one. For entertainment purposes. My own entertainment.

    The reason I bring this up, is that one of the Blue Peter presenters, Andy Akinwolere, contacted 7 Reasons about the piece. It was hard to tell if he was annoyed, baffled or frustrated by my words, but I was glad he challenged me. Not because it means 7 Reasons is being read by an ever expanding audience, but because he believed I was wrong. And that’s great. I loved his passion. I loved the fact that he was compelled to say, ‘Oi Lee! What the hell are you on about? You’re wrong. So wrong!’ Or words to that effect anyway. At least, I think he thought I was wrong. Like, I say, it was hard to tell. Either way, after I had got over the rather boyish ‘ooh look, I have annoyed a Blue Peter presenter’ phase, I began to realise what this meant.

    Much of my better, and some would say funnier, posts are based around me attacking/belittling/ripping to shreds a person/song/film/book. Janet Street-Porter, Tracy Emin, Owl City and the New Radicals have all faced the wrath of Jonathan Lee. Now the automatic assumption would be that I have an intense dislike of all of those. In fact, the truth is that I don’t. I am fairly indifferent to Janet Street-Porter (unless she talks). I am fairly indifferent to Tracy Emin (unless she tries to convince me that she’s an artist). I quite like Owl City’s Fireflies (despite the lyrics making no sense at all). I am very fond of the New Radical’s Someday We’ll Know (again, despite the absurd lyrics). And that I guess is the trouble with 7 Reasons. Sometimes, unless you are me, you don’t get the irony involved in some of these pieces. Just look at the comments beneath 7 Reasons The New Radicals Should Have Done Their Research Properly. It’s fair to say I am not on their Christmas card list.

    Admittedly there is a difference between the New Radicals piece and the Blue Peter piece. One I like, the other I certainly don’t. And I think that’s the point. Despite all the abuse I received about the New Radicals post, I still like it. The abuse doesn’t bother me, in fact I think it’s quite amusing. I guess that’s the sadist in me. The Blue Peter piece though, I no longer like. And when I wrote it, I did. Whether Andy Akinwolere has pricked my conscience I don’t know, though I expect he has. I feel bad, not for criticising the props (balloons instead of rulers?), but for criticising the presenters. As I said before, I am not an idiot, but I do act like one. I suspect (and hope) that the current Blue Peter presenters do exactly the same. All be it for an audience that is twenty years younger than I. Fundamentally, that is what is wrong with the Blue Peter piece. I didn’t take the act of idiocy into account. Just as those who lambasted me for the New Radicals piece didn’t take my act of idiocy into account.

    The reason I have written this, is not because we didn’t have any ideas for Russian Roulette Sunday this week, but because I genuinely find it to be an interesting development. As a writer. Only time will tell, but I hope that I will now write more considered 7 Reasons posts. Dare I say it, a bit like Marc.

    I can only apologise if you are now bored and were in fact hoping for another film or a picture of Marc’s friend Katey wearing a cardboard cut-out of my face. And yes, one does exist.

    Incidentally, I have asked Andy if he’d like to write, ‘7 Reasons You Are Completely Wrong About Blue Peter’. And I really hope he does. Because if he doesn’t think I am wrong, then he really should move on to Newsround now.

  • Russian Roulette Sunday: 7 Reasons We Were Wrong

    Russian Roulette Sunday: 7 Reasons We Were Wrong

    The good thing about 7 Reasons – or should that be one of the good things? – is that it never gets bogged down in fact. Ninety-nine percent of the time, ninety-nine percent of all our reasons are nothing more than opinion. Which is great, because it means you get the chance to disagree with us. Or at least it would if our opinions weren’t so well thought out and presented. However, just occassionally we do get proved wrong. And when I say we, I mean me. I’m Jon. Here are 7 Reasons I got wrong. And 7 Reasons they were wrong. Which common sense would suggest means you have 14 Reasons to read. You don’t. You have seven. Twice.

    1. 7 Reasons To Become An Artist
    Reason Put Forward: It’s A Con. You can do anything and call it art. Take Tracey Emin for instance. No, actually don’t bother. No one is quite sure where she has been. Instead take a look above. That’s Emin’s artwork. My Bed it’s called. The Saatchi Gallery describe it thus, ‘Tracey Emin shows us her own bed, in all its embarrassing glory. Empty booze bottles, fag butts, stained sheets, worn panties: the bloody aftermath of a nervous breakdown. By presenting her bed as art, Tracey Emin shares her most personal space, revealing she’s as insecure and imperfect as the rest of the world’. This is how Jonathan Lee describes it, ‘Bollocks‘.
    Reason I Was Wrong: People are making a mint out of forging Tracey Emin’s work.

    2. 7 Reasons To Write A Song About Rain
    Reason Put Forward: Grace Kelly – Singing In The Rain. Standing in the rain and having a sing-song is quite frankly a stupid thing to do. You’ll get wet and cold and the sound of the rain hitting the ground will drown out your harmonies. But if you are a songwriter then you have free license to try and brainwash people.
    Reason I Was Wrong: The reason is perfectly acceptable. Suggesting Grace Kelly sang it, is not. It’s Gene Kelly. Always was. Always will be.

    3. 7 Reasons The Tiger Woods Story Is Annoying Me
    Reason Put Forward: It’s Not Happening. If the allegations are true, a few people will be outraged. But that’s it. No one is going to make an example out of him. Tiger is too big a star to be dropped by those who sponsor him. Not even Nike. Nike need Tiger more than he needs them. This is the world we live in. I don’t care whether you like it or not. It’s a fact. Nothing is going to change so get over it. Stop wasting your time by drawing up pointless petitions asking Nike to drop him. It. Will. Not. Happen.
    Reason I Was Wrong: Pretty much everyone was outraged. Pretty much everyone dropped him. As getting things wrong go, this is one of my finer efforts.

    4. 7 Reasons To Fly With British Airways This Christmas
    Reason Put Forward: Sir Richard Branson. He never flies with BA.
    Reason I Was Wrong: He has. A few times. According to Chris Evans’ autobiography, Sir Richard Branson was so keen to get Evans to sign for Virgin Radio that he joined Evans on a flight to New York – on Concorde – just to try and get his signature. And in 2008 Branson flew to China as part of a British Government delegation on BA744.

    5. 7 Reasons Buying A Christmas Card Is Infuriating
    Reason Put Forward: Brothers. Why is it you can no longer buy a ‘Merry Christmas Brother’ card? It’s always ‘Bro’ or ‘Bruv’ or ‘Brother and Wife’ or ‘Brother and Girlfriend’ and new for this year ‘Brother and Boyfriend’. My brother is not gay. He has not got a wife. I am not sending him a text in which I may shorten to Bro. And he is not in some downtown hood where everyone goes around punching fists and calling each other ‘Bruv’. He is just my brother. I want a card that says that. Is that too much to ask?
    Reason I Was Wrong: I found one. It said, ‘Merry Christmas Brother’. All I had to do was look a bit harder.

    6. 7 Reasons To Love A Cardigan
    Reason Put Forward: The Dog. No one is going to tell me that the Cardigan Welsh Corgi was not made for riding.
    Reason I Was Wrong: In the words of the guy in Clevedon at Christmas, “Get off my f***ing dog! It’s not a horse!”

    7. 7 Reasons 2010 Will Be Great
    Reason Put Forward: The Winter Olympics. We’re only a few months away from Vancouver 2010 and what an Olympics it is going to be. Great Britain have their most successful games ever after clinching Gold medals in both the male and female snowball fighting events. Unfortunately they lose out to Canada in the final of the gritting competition, but the then Prime Minister Gordon Brown still hails the achievement as “remarkable” and “a terrific reflection of what global warming can do for our country”.
    Reason I Was Wrong: Not only are gritting and snowball fighting not included in this years Olympics, but the British Ski and Snowsport Federation is going into administration.