7 Reasons

Tag: Straussy

  • Russian Roulette Sunday: Badges

    Russian Roulette Sunday: Badges

    The coveted 7Reasons.org Guest Writer Badge

    A long, long time ago, way back in the mists of 7 Reasons(.org) history, Jon promised that there would be badges for guest posters, and Marc rolled his eyes and said, “SHH!  You’ll bankrupt us before we’ve even started.”   But now, many months – possibly even a whole year later – we have an announcement to make about badges for guest posters.

    We’ve never forgotten the promised badges, and just recently we took another look into the 7 Reasons coffers (once we’d located them in a dusty ante-room) to see if badges were now feasible.  As we expectantly lifted the heavy wooden lid of our treasure chest it creaked with reassuring portent and, with the light of our torches to guide us, we peered into the interior of the dark, gloomy box.

    To say that we were amazed by what we found there would be an understatement.  After we had emptied the contents of the chest into a pile on the floor and methodically totalled it up, we were staggered.

    So now, we can announce that the 7 Reasons Badge Fund stands at…(drum-roll)…(go on, just bang on the desk, no one will think you’re mad)…half a dead spider, a creased Post-it® note, the crumbs from several ginger nut biscuits, twelve business cards, a mug with a broken handle and a lemon.  Plus some blue stuff that neither of us wanted to touch.

    But necessity is the mother of invention and we’re nothing if not creative here so we’ve made badges anyway.  For free.  In Photoshop.  So if you write (or have written) for us, you can now have a 7 Reasons Guest Writer badge simply by sending us a photograph of yourself.  And we’ll send it back with your badge on it.

    Not only will this help us achieve our goal of not running 7 Reasons at a loss one day, it’s also far more environmentally friendly than an actual, physical badge, which benefits the whole world.  So the virtual badge is something worthy, it’s a force for good.  It’s actually saving penguins.

    A guest poster has already taken us up on our virtual badge offer (in fact, it’s what convinced him to write for us in the first place).  Here is Sir Andrew Straussy jubilantly wearing his:

    A jubilant Sir Andrew Straussy receives his 7 Reasons Guest Writer badge

    And here’s an owl wearing his (because one day, we hope to convince an owl to write for us (and the virtual badge is less cruel than an actual one)).

    An owl with a badge.

    We also sent (to the lady herself) a picture of Jennifer Aniston wearing a badge and we received this in return.

    A restraining order with a 7 Reasons Guest writer badge placed on it

    So this probably means that marriage is still out of the question.

    Anyway, the point of all of these badge-related-shenanigans is to mention that we’re currently looking for more guest posts.  So, if you’ve never written for us, or if you have; if you have an idea, or even half an idea (because that’s how we work most of the time), then please get in touch.

    We have always felt genuinely honoured and flattered that brilliant people, who write to such a high standard, have submitted pieces for us to use, and we hope that – one day – we will be able to reward their endeavours with something more tangible than our thanks, our admiration and our love (which, to be honest may put people off).  Perhaps in the form of a badge, perhaps in the form of money, perhaps we will build a shrine, who knows?  Anyway, however we decide to reward guest posters when we are dripping with the riches of Croseous, the fact remains that we aren’t right now, but we do feel genuinely humble – and honoured – that people read us regularly and that people allow us to use their work.

    Anyway, if you fancy earning yourself some thanks, some publicity and a virtual badge then email [email protected].  We don’t promise to use everything that’s sent to us (because, well, we might not like it, and if we didn’t have standards, then we wouldn’t feel proud of our own website ).  We will always consider it, however, and are happy to offer guidance or advice, where solicited.

    Here’s a brief guide to writing a post for us.  Thanks,

    Marc and Jon.

  • 7 Reasons That A Drawn First Test Was The Best Result For The Ashes

    7 Reasons That A Drawn First Test Was The Best Result For The Ashes

    The urn that contains The Ashes (Cricket,ECB,Australia,England,Test Match)

    1.  England.  For England, a draw in the Brisbane test is certainly a good start to proceedings.  We’ve already made certain that there will be no repeat of the 5-0 whitewash in 2006/7 (that I can’t remember) and we’ll be all the more confident as a result of that and, with the monkey off our back, we’ll be able to play more freely; without protests from animal rights activists angered by our wearing of the back-monkey.

    2.  Australia.  For Australia, despite being the home team, and despite the stunning manner in which they won their last home series, a draw isn’t a bad start either.  Now that many of their cricketing greats have retired, to devote more time to highlighting their hair and creosoting themselves – leaving Australia with players in their team that even Australians have to google – it was always going to be a tough series.  A loss would, quite simply, have been devastating for them.  At least with a draw the Australian public will retain some hope and confidence and will continue backing their team; whoever they are.

    3.  Andrew Strauss.  A draw’s a good result for Straussy personally.  It means we’re still in the hunt for The Ashes and, while this test can be seen as a positive in terms of his captaincy, will give him much needed time to work on his abysmal batting form.  Strauss was England’s lowest scorer in both innings at Brisbane scoring 0 and 110 runs respectively, which is 192 runs fewer than his opening partner.  A poor show indeed.

    4.  Ricky Ponting.  A draw, for Ricky Ponting, is no bad result.  He’s already received a lot of criticism from his countrymen and a draw is unlikely to add to that.  Despite him being the most dislikeable man in the history of Australia, I almost felt sorry for him earlier today (? Yesterday?  I just don’t know any more) while he was being booed by both of his own crowd.  And I would have done.  If I were mental.  Or he wasn’t Ricky Ponting.

    5.  @theashes.  Yes, the Twitter user with the best name on Twitter will also benefit from the draw.  The feckless American who decided to give herself the name @theashes without checking Google or Wikipedia first and now has over 5000 new followers and more Twitter mentions than…er…the actual test match got (remember the cricket anyone?) now has a few days (I still haven’t worked out how many, I have no idea what day it is and am also surprised to note that it’s now light outside) to choose which team she wants to support as the two teams are still level.  Then, when a Twitter-mob quickly forms to campaign to send @theashes to The Ashes, she can choose sides without accusations of glory-seeking, before payment is required for a plane ticket and the Twitter-mob dissipates even more quickly than it was formed.

    6.  Spectacle.  The draw leaves the rest of the contest evenly balanced and, as history has shown us, the best, the absolute best Ashes series are the closest fought ones.  Was the 2006/7 Ashes series actually exciting?  I asked someone who actually remembered the series and he said “No.”… “Mate”.  But the 2005 series and the 2009 series were both epic, close-fought affairs in which both teams gave their all and that everyone remembers fondly.  In fact, most right-thinking cricket-fans don’t mind their team losing in a close and exciting contest at all.*

    7.  International Relations.  Because of the draw we can continue to talk to Australians and they can continue to talk to us with pride and dignity intact all round.  We can pretend that Finn and Swann didn’t get knocked around the park a worrying amount in Australia’s second innings and that South Africa is just west of the Isle of Wight, and Australians can pretend that there were people in the stands on Monday and that they were just very small.  And quiet.

    *Did I mention I haven’t slept since…Tuesday?