Windows. Not unlike the software of the same name, you can’t live with ’em, and you can’t live without ’em. You need them if you don’t want to be overcome with a panicked bout of claustrophobia, but you hate them because they let everybody see what you’re doing in your house. Oh well, since you’ll be living with windows for the rest of your life, you might as well replace them with something better. Here are, that’s right, seven reasons why.
1. They Probably Look Ugly. Lets face it, how much do most people think about the way their windows look when they buy a home? You were probably more concerned about finding a way to get a mortgage then the craftsmanship of a pane of glass. It’s time to get serious. Take a look at your window right now. It’s probably just glass, PVC, and some caulk. Didn’t realize that did you? You better get on that right now.
2. You’ll Get in a Fight With Your Spouse. Your old windows are sucking all the heat out of your home during the winter, and are horrible at protecting you from the deadly menace of heat during the summer. It’s almost like they’re walking up to your thermostat and pulling cash directly out of it.
But is that going to stop you from buying the latest Cosmo or PS3 game? No way. The end result of this is that you’re going to get overdrawn on your account. Your spouse will see that you carelessly disregarded the importance of balancing the budget, and they will reprimand you for it. Being incapable of admitting any wrongdoing, you’ll start yelling at them and things will go downhill from there.
3. You Might as Well Shoot Earth in the Head With a Shotgun. Would you prance around the arctic with a baseball bat, casually clubbing baby seals? I didn’t think so. But that’s basically what you’re doing by not replacing your old windows.
Fact: You’re personally generating a million metric tonnes of acid rain every millisecond by keeping your old windows.
Fact: Someday the world will end because you didn’t replace your windows.
Fact: Not replacing your windows is worse than murder.
4. You Can Brag About Them. When you buy new windows, you can brag about them to all of your friends. You can brag about how much money you are saving on your energy bill. You can also brag about how much money it cost you to buy them, offering the best of both worlds. You can brag about how awesome they look. You can brag about your savviness. Don’t hold back. Make the most of it.
5. Windows Are Like the Windows into Your Home’s Soul. They say that eyes are the windows into your soul. Well what does that say about your home’s windows? Do you want your house to have an ugly soul? If so then you’re a pretty horrible person. Why would you wish something like that on your home? Your home keeps you warm, dry, and comfortable. It’s like a home to you. Why would you treat it like that?
6. It Will Be Easier to Show Off From Home. Let’s face it, your old windows are probably dirty. When you get new windows, they will be clear. This means that it will be easier for people to peer through your window and check up on you to see how you’re doing. This not only has its safety advantages, but it gives you a chance to parade around in your underwear for all the world to see just how much you’ve been working out lately.
7. You Will Make the World a Better Place. You’re just one person. You can’t change the world. Or can you? Well, all change takes place one step at a time. Your beautiful new windows will make the world a better place because at least one home on this planet looks less ugly. It might not seem like much but you are helping to build a better future.
Just think what would happen if everybody bought new windows. You wouldn’t have to cower in fear as you walked through the suburbs, shielding your eyes from the ugly windows that surround you. Be a part of the future. Get new windows.
Author Bio: George Dennis is president of King Shade and Window, a home improvement company with a range of roller shades for windows.
