Yeah. You messed up. Big time.
But don’t worry, you’ve found the ultimate relationship advice column from a fat, single American. How do you fix everything? Do what any self-respecting American would do: Buy an expensive imported product for him or her!
Not only do I have a sexy selection of timepieces to choose from, but I’ve got a watch for every specific screw-up. From offending your mother-in-law to skipping out on Sunday dinner with the extended family, there is a watch that will make things all better. So without further ado…
1. Screw-up: You burnt the roast you cooked for his boss coming over for dinner. Solution: The Mondaine Evo Chronograph watch.
OK, so the turkey was slightly drier than Cousin Catherine’s rubberized masterpiece in Christmas Vacation. You know he’ll never retaliate by leaving the burgers on the grill too long with this Swiss chronograph from Mondaine watches.
2. Screw-up: You deleted Project Runway off of your TiVo. Solution: The Wenger Alpine Crystal watch.
Alright, man—she’s not buying that you did it on “accident”, so stop trying to sell it. (We both know it was intentional anyway.) Any fashionista would be proud to sport this blinged-out lavender head-turner on her wrist. Eat your heart out, Heidi.
3. Screw-up: You refused to let him go paintballing for a bachelor party. Solution: The Wenger Standard Issue XL watch.
The only way to make sure he stayed in one piece and could still be the father of your futures kids was to not let him go. Now he refuses to do the yard work to get back at you. Get him this Wenger watch with its steel case and heavy duty strap, and he won’t be able to wait to try out its toughness while cleaning the gutters and re-shingling the roof.
4. Screw-up: You faked an illness to skip the marriage retreat. Then she came home and found you drinking beer, smoking cigars and playing pinochle with your buddies. Solution: The Tense Sandalwood Digital watch.
In your defense, all of the cigar smoke and Guinness did end up making you quite sick. But get her the latest from Tense watches, and she’ll be proud to wrap the all Maple piece around her wrist when you go on the nature hike. At the marriage retreat next weekend.
5. Screw-up: You put his favorite watch through the washing machine and ruined it. Solution: The Casio G-Shock Retro-Vintage watch.
Let’s face it—his old sports watch was grimy and filthy; it needed a good cleaning. How could you possibly be expected to not try and get sparkling again? Get him the brand that everyone who’s anyone in the hip-hop industry is rocking today. This all white G-Shock watch would be fit for the couch or one of Diddy Dirty Money’s white parties.
6. Screw-up: You feel guilty that she just bought you a new white G-Shock. Solution: The Casio Baby-G Multifunction watch.
She gave you such a baller watch that her nasty old leather piece looks awful. So getting her the matching model from Baby-G watches will score you some major points (Just in case you accidentally sell something she loves at your next yard sale).
7. Screw-Up: You accidentally sell something he loves at your next yard sale. Solution: The Fossil Ansel watch.
Hey, it goes both ways. So he’ll never have his old teddy bear, first baseball mitt or birth certificate ever again—he’ll get over it pretty quickly with this classy Fossil watch. It never needs a battery, so it will never stop living—just like your love, even after all of these mishaps.
Author Bio: Post contributed by Barrie on behalf of Watchco.
