Turkey is enjoying a growing reputation as a favourite tourist destination for people from all over the world. The brochure will tell you that this is because the resorts are first class, the beaches are clean and the cities are fun places to be. All true of course, but why else should you visit Turkey – reasons you will not see in the latest tour company brochure?
1. Buy Some Cheap Tat. Do you have a few birthdays coming up that means you will have to fork out for expensive presents you just know the recipient will only moan about? If yes, head to Turkey. The markets there are huge and full to the brim with exotic presents such as flawless jewellery, the finest carpets and silks. Move swiftly pass these items, though, and pick up some genuinely appalling counterfeit t-shirts from ‘Nikey’ and ‘Addidass’ for about 75 pence each. No one will notice the difference. Probably.
2. Smoke A Few Years Off Your Life. Anyone else a bit fed up of the anti-smoking brigade? Even non-smokers sometimes agree that the restrictions placed on smokers are a bit harsh. But if you want to puff away where you want or in a place where it is actually encouraged, head to a Turkish shisha bar. These are a smoker’s paradise and a week spent in these bars should knock a few years off your life. What better way to stick it to the man?
3. Burn The Pastiness Away. It is not an exact science, but – on the whole – women love the sight of pasty skin, burnt to a crisp and starting to peel. In order to get this look, it is important to spend a good few weeks in the sun with scant respect for its power. With temperatures reaching the mid-thirties in costal resorts, Turkey Holidays are ideal for perfecting this look. You’ll get a nice, healthy, red glow if nothing else.
4. Kebab Heaven. When at home it can be difficult to find an excuse to buy a kebab. The greasy and fat heavy late-night snack is the ultimate accompaniment to beer and is scientifically proven to make you feel 100% better instantly. So where better to visit than the country that invented it? A trip to a kebab house is a genuine cultural experience. Not bad, eh?
5. Walk Around In A Fluffy White Robe. You may not be aware, but Turkish baths originated in Turkey. And, what do you think of when imagining public baths? Yes, that’s right. White fluffy robes. Now, you might not actually get a big robe to wear when you visit, but it is worth the trip just to see if you do or not. If you don’t, just chill and generally be a bit lazy.
6. Meet Up With Fellow Countrymen. The point of going abroad is to experience life as it is at home. Just in a warmer climate. If this is an approach you take to holidays, you’ll love Turkey. There are more British in Marmaris then there are in Manchester. So it is well worth flying thousands of miles to experience this phenomenon. After all, why integrate with the locals when you could have a beer with Pistol Pete from Bristol?
7. Buy A Fez. The Fez, made famous by Tommy Cooper and no one else, is an item of clothing worn on the head, commonly referred to as a hat. Wearing such a garment instantly makes you hilarious and is a truly unique piece of comedy that no one else has ever attempted to recreate when on cheap holidays abroad to Turkey. For added laughs and respect from your fellow travellers, wear the Fez at every opportunity. And that includes the flight home.
These are just seven reasons to visit Turkey. But there are literally hundreds. If you can think of some more, let us know!
Written by Ricky Durrance for Beat the Brochure.
