Tag: Smell

Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Brits Love Pets

If you’re one of the millions of households with a pet, you’ll be able to vouch for us when we say that we’re a nation of animal lovers.

Pets are a big part of family life, but they come at a cost as this infographic ‘The Real Cost Of Owning A Pet’ from Baines & Ernst shows.

Getting a pet is of course a big financial commitment, but if it is one you can afford, it’s more than rewarding.

Here are 7 reasons why Brits love animals…

1. They’re always pleased to see you. When you’ve had a long day, having a friendly face waiting for you at home can be a real tonic. Unlike a human partner, there’s no nagging about being late or sulking because you shouted at them this morning. Your four legged friend is just delighted to see you. And even if you go out of the room for a moment, you are guaranteed a similarly rapturous response on your return – your very own furry fan club.

2. They love you no matter what. Your pet sees you at your worst – first thing in the morning, last thing at night and all those times when you’ve worked yourself up over something ridiculous. And besides, who else would be willing to ignore your habit of sitting on the sofa in your underwear and cutting your toenails into an old pizza box?

3. They won’t spill your secrets. You know what it’s like – you’re given a piece of juicy gossip but are sworn to secrecy…. and immediately your lips start burning with the desire to tell someone. Chatting to your pet about what you have been told doesn’t count – and unlike spilling the beans to another person, there’s no risk they will slip up and drop you in it. Unless you have a talking dog, then let’s face it… you’ll make millions.

4. They stop you being lazy. You really should go to the gym but it’s cold outside and you would rather curl up on the sofa and relax. However, you have to take your furry friend for his evening walkies and there’s no escaping it, so off you go for your daily dose of exercise, whether you like it or not!

5. They’re a constant source of amusement. Sometimes it’s the simplest things that can make you smile, even if they have made you laugh countless times before. It’s difficult not to be amused at the sight of a cat going wild on cat nip or a dog chasing the reflection of a laser torch. And if your own pet is being boring, well, there’s always You Tube. Wonder whatever happened to Fenton…

6. You’re never short of company. Pets always make great company so it’s hard to feel like you’re alone with a pet in your life. They’re there from the moment you get up to when you go to bed. They’ll never complain that Match of the Day is on or if you’ve already seen that episode of Friends a million times before. Dogs will go out walking with you for hours, while cats will curl up next to you when you need a cuddle. They really are quite awesome.

7. There’s always someone else to blame for the smell. Pretty self explanatory… always useful! BAD DOG!

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January 22, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Have A Home Gym Instead Of A Membership

Are you tired of your blood pressure going through the roof every time you step foot into your gym due to the smorgasbord of annoyances on display? There’s something to ruin the day of any appetite. Why not avoid ever having to return there by creating your own gym at home? As if you needed them, here’s seven reasons.

1. The Smell. If you’re walking into a room filled with 50 other sweaty individuals in the various stages of a workout its unlikely that it’s going to smell like you’re visiting the body shop. Unfortunately this is an occupational hazard that is associated with the gym, and unless you want to hover around every machine spraying the seat cushions with Fabreeze you might have to grin and bear it. If you set up your own gym at home at least you can bang in the old Glade Plug in Fresh and work out until your heart’s content. If you get Lavender and Vanilla you can even shut your eyes and imagine that you’re working out in a sun basked meadow.

2. The Changing Rooms. Where to start with the changing rooms? The over familiar fellow gym members strolling around the room, determined to get that last bit of water from their ear with the corner of their towel? The bags hiding just out of sight, peeking out from under a bench and only making themselves known when they cause you to trip over, sending your Lynx Africa skidding across the floor in the process? The guys who seem to just like hanging out in their, bro-ing it up with all the other bros. Bro. At least in the comfort of your own home you can have a shower and get changed without feeling like you’re living in a mixture of Top Gun and a Butlin’s Strongest Man competition.

3. Equipment Hogs. There’s nothing wrong with someone getting full use of a piece of equipment. It’s their right. They pay membership fees just like anyone else. It’s when someone feels the need to simultaneously work three pieces of equipment at once, and then have the temerity to stare you down when you ask if they need that extra dumbbell that it can try your patience a little bit. If you have your own gym at home you’re unlikely to run into this predicament.

4. Grunting. Every gym has at least one. A grunter. Lifting weights doesn’t mean that you have to attempt to suck every litre of oxygen out of the room and then scream like Maria Sharapova fighting a Silverback Gorilla. Unless it’s you that is doing the grunting. In which case you should probably stop. I’m not sure people like it.

5. Sweaty Equipment. There is nothing more irritating than getting onto a machine only to discover that it is literally dripping in sweat. Guys, I’m looking at you for this one. No disrespect, but I’ve yet to see a woman leave a piece of equipment that looks as though it’s been used as a prop in the Flashdance chair scene. This won’t be an issue if you have your own gym at home. And if you don’t wipe your equipment down after you’ve used it at least you’ll only get drenched in your own sweat. Everyone like’s their own brand anyway. Don’t they?

6. The People Who Stare. Of the many gym personalities that you are likely to encounter, this one will put you on edge the most. Lurking around the equipment, watching you workout and perspiring more themselves than you ever could. As soon as you make eye contact with them they will slink away or pretend that they have been sent a text. It’s only upon closer inspection that you realise that they are trying to read a text message from their iPod. They NEVER seem to actually work out either. When you’re working out at home they are unlikely to be there. And even if they are you can just close the blinds.

7. Hoverers. You know the ones. You’ve been on a machine for a matter of seconds and they are hovering around it, shooting you ‘hurry up I’ve got to get back to the office’ looks. Too ‘polite’ to actually ask you how long you’re going to be, but not so concerned about time that won’t move onto another machine. You can’t even grab a drink of water because they will steal your machine on account of them being serial grave jumpers. Known to loudly chat on their phones about how they’re ‘stuck at the gym’. The annoyance that they cause is reason enough to take out a second mortgage so that you can afford your own gym. They will obviously be refused membership.

This post was written by Richard Hughes on behalf of the home fitness equipment distributor Orbus Leisure.

July 3, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Be Thinking About Long Term Memory Loss Now

Are you thinking about your long term memory today? You should be. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, and if you wait too long you won’t have any mind left to waste. Here’s why you shouldn’t go another instant without thinking about it.

1. You Won’t Be Able to Do it Later. Once your long term memory starts to go, you will no longer have the option of thinking about your long term memory. In fact, you’ll have difficulty thinking about anything at all. Once your memory starts to go, it’s awful hard to commit to thinking about anything in particular, least of all what you can do to improve your long term memory issues.

2. Your Brain is Falling Apart. Sorry, but as soon as you hit your mid twenties your brain is already on its way out. You know how as you get older you stop caring so much about what other people think? How you march to your own beat and feel comfortable with being an oddball? You might be telling yourself that it’s because you’re not a member of the pack, that you think for yourself. In reality, it’s the brain damage. Your frontal lobe, which gives you the ability to control your actions and reign in your impulses, starts to deteriorate. Better do everything you can to slow this process down.

3. You’ll Have Trouble Using Facebook. Imagine when you are older and you try to check your Facebook status. It’s going to become really difficult because you won’t remember your password, your email address, or who your friends are. You’ll try to contact the Facebook support team but you’ll discover that they don’t exist anymore because Facebook went extinct decades ago. Oh, and that the internet is now an amorphous cloud that people navigate using their scent glands.

4. It will be 2051 Tomorrow. If you don’t start thinking about your long term memory today, you might end up a few decades in the future tomorrow. It’ll be exciting to take a trip to the future at first, but you won’t actually have the option of coming back home, and you’ll be a lot older than you are now. Everybody will keep telling you what a great person you used to be and how wise you once were, but all that knowledge will be gone and they’ll be talking about some stranger that you’ve never met. At least you’ll be able to take the credit.

5. You Won’t Be Able to Hit On Anybody Anymore. You’ll discover that most of the people you are attracted to are now several orders of magnitude younger than you are, which will make it very difficult to date them. The only upside is that you won’t be able to remember all of the rejections you face. Sadly, you may also find yourself asking somebody out on a date only to discover with horror that they are related to you.

6. You’ll Forget to Water Your Plants. And that you had them in the first place. It won’t take long before your plants start to shrivel up and die, depositing themselves on the floor. You’ll look at the mess on your floor and wonder who put it there, and why. Then you will become self conscious and wonder if you did it. Pretty soon you’ll start condemning yourself for being such a lazy slob, or worse, you’ll blame somebody else who wasn’t responsible. Then you’ll tell yourself you need to hire a maid, and forget to call them.

7. You Will Forget How to Make Bacon. Can you imagine a world without bacon? Well you won’t have trouble imagining it after you lose your long term memory, because you will be incapable of fixing it for yourself. And don’t start saying that you’ll just go to a Denny’s and ask them for bacon, because you’ll forget what bacon is. That’s right, you’ll never know the joy of having a slice of thick cut, crispy, peppered bacon. It will be gone from your memory.

Now stop, and imagine eating a piece of bacon. Notice how your mouth starts watering in anticipation. Now imagine how much you would judge somebody who saw a piece of bacon and didn’t want to eat it. That person will be you, if you don’t start thinking about long term memory issues, today.

Author bio: Brenda Ankley is an avid blogger and contributes to a number of publications, including Assisted Living Today, a leading provider of information on a variety of elder care topics such as assisted living in Iowa.

February 15, 2012
Guest Post: 7 (+1) Reasons An Onion Doesn’t Make A Good House Pet

In keeping with our traditions as a a self-help guide we are delighted to welcome Paisley Downing to the 7 Reasons sofa. For those of you wondering who Paisley is, let me tell you. Paisley enjoys writing comical articles about pets, politics, and cyber culture. She currently writes for Allied Satellite TV. It’ll come as no surprise to you then that today’s post is concerned with that troublesome matter of selecting a pet. Here’s Paisley (after the photo of an onion):

Selecting the right pet for your home can be a daunting process and, with so many choices, beginning with which pet not to choose could save you time and stress. Today, we’ll look at seven really good reasons you don’t want an onion for a house pet.

1. An Onion Reeks. An onion will necessarily have a powerful smell after peeling or slicing. While this makes it excellent at what it does, it contributes little to the family aspiring to adopt a new friend. An onion simply can’t stay wrapped in its comfy little peel forever. Sooner or later, the onion will have to come out. By then, the only options left include lighting a candle to ward off the fumes, or submerging the onion in iced water. Neither option is conducive to cuddling on the couch.

2. Too Many Layers. Of all the vegetables one could select as a family pet, the onion is known to be most complicated. Just when you think you’ve developed an easy rapport, whammo! Another shocking, perhaps even disturbing surprise from your thin skinned friend. The onion is simply beyond our comprehension, in a number of ways — and by the time many onion owners discover what that number is, the damage to the relationship has been done and there is no going back.

3. Fragility. Onions are not the hardiest of vegetables. Even when stored in optimal conditions, the best of the lot can quickly go bad, transforming your sleek-sheathed bulb baby into a furry friend. While it is true that the variety used for cooking can be stored for much longer periods of time at room temperature — as opposed to sweet onions that require refrigeration — even these are overly sensitive about being left alone, and prefer the company of other onions to yours.

3. Cost. Many people are initially attracted by the affordability of onions, but they fail to see the Big Picture; onions can cost pet owners more than they might believe in terms of personal relationships and health care. How many times has a young man let an onion come between him and that special girl? Or a guy come home from a tough day on the job, only to face the perils of indigestion after a too-close encounter with an onion during his lunch break?

4. Disloyalty. Unlike broccoli, the onion is likely to be disloyal to its owners should a more exciting person come along. Onions tend to wander off with anyone who will give them a moment’s attention, and if you disappeared never to be seen or heard from again, the onion would not care so long as someone else was there to feed, bathe, and play with it.

5. Jealousy. Let’s face it: onions need lots of attention and can be quite jealous. They’re jealous of you, your children, your pets, and your life. Even the most affectionate onion will eventually disappoint you with passive-aggression tactics such as rolling around in your pillowcase when you aren’t looking, leaving a slime trail on the bathroom floor for you to slip on, or throwing out your mail before you’ve had a chance to read it. If you decide to go onion, be prepared to coddle a delicate, high-maintenance temperament.

6. High Energy Levels. Unless you’re very young and active as a matter of course, you will likely find the onion’s energy levels to be too high. An onion is constantly on the move and loves chasing and being chased. This is not a pet for a person who expects a nice, quiet creature to nod hello to in the mornings and evenings and not have to deal with during the day.

7. They Hate Family Photos. Onions are notorious for their purposeful avoidance of the camera during family get-togethers. In fact, they are known to go so far out of their way to escape picture time that there have been reports of onions rolling away into the wilderness at high rates of speed, where they are unfortunately lost or preyed upon by wild animals. What better way to ruin a family reunion than the needless tragedy of losing a beloved pet in the chaos?

April 9, 2011