7 Reasons

Tag: Seats

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Build A Pub Shed

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Build A Pub Shed

    Now that 7 Reasons has wound down its daily service, we have been wondering where to keep the 7 Reasons sofa. Then Matthew Wilby got in touch. And he had the solution. A pub shed! We don’t need convincing further, but should you then Matthew has all the reasons you require. Let’s be honest though, who needs reasons? It’s a pub shed!

    7 Reasons Why You Should Build A Pub Shed

    1.  No Walk Home. We all love going to the pub, it’s a great place to enjoy a few too many pints. But you know what we don’t like… the walk home. If you turn your garden sheds into a pub, the walk home is much shorter, unless you have a very, very large garden. But then you might as well build your own pub.

    2.  Recession. We all want to save money and making your own pub shed is the perfect way to save vital pennies. Buying your own beers from the local shop is much cheaper than buying a pint at the local pub and then of course there is the option of inviting all your friends round and telling them to bring the beer.

    3.  Guest List. Your pub shed has a very exclusive guest list – the pub shed gives you power, power to ban, power to invite and power to party. In a pub shed there are no girlfriends, no karaoke, and no teenagers – just good people. A pub shed allows you to have a good time with your friends without having to worry about any other fools turning up.

    4.  Sports. I like watching football in the pub but people are always getting in the way and obstructing the screen when a crucial goal is being scored. The solution is obvious. You guessed it. A pub shed. A pub shed is the perfect location for a flat screen telly with a full Sky Sports package. You can now enjoy your favourite sports without any distraction. And a cold pint too. Though you will have to get up and pour it yourself.

    5.  Comfort. Pubs are great, but don’t you wish they were a bit cosier? The wooden bench is no competition for a comfy, well worn sofa. There are no rules when it comes to pub shed furniture either. You can lounge around on whatever you like. And however you like too. That’s the beauty of a pub shed.

    6.  Last Orders. In a pub shed there is a bell behind the bar. But it is not for last orders. The pub shed frowns on last orders. The bell behind the bar in the pub shed signals the beginning, freedom and shots.

    7.  Spending Time At Home. Many people often worry about their partners going to the pub. Well, a pub shed brings an end to all of that. Spending time at home? You are! You’re in the garden enjoying your home’s latest feature. Pub sheds can also add value to your home. Admittedly nobody has researched this, but if I went to view a house and it had a pub shed, I would definitely pay more for it.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Musical Chairs Is Not Just For Birthdays

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Musical Chairs Is Not Just For Birthdays

    Joining us on the 7 Reasons sofa this week is a packet of biscuits. Unfortunately, a packet of biscuits is incapable of writing a 7 Reasons post. Even when they are ginger nuts. As a result, I – that’s me – have been dragged into the office on a Saturday to entertain you. It better be bloody worth it. Show me you love me. Thumb me up.

    Musical Chairs Is Not Just For Birthdays
    Via http://www.fantasticalreality.com/

    1.  Speed Dating. There are so many reasons to introduce musical chairs to speed dating. Seven in fact. That is the correct number. It lets you see who is the fastest, the fittest and the least sweaty potential date. You can see who wants you more. They will go for the chair opposite you everytime. You can see who has a shocking taste in music. That’ll be the guy who skips a bit when Madonna’s ‘Material Girl’ comes on. Actually that’s two birds with one stone. You can also spot the best movers. And finally of course, you can see who can handle their drink the best. Literally I mean. The last thing you want is to bring someone back to yours who so readily spills red wine.

    2.  Getting Tables In Popular Restaurants. Now I’m quite good at getting tables in restaurants that are apparently always full. It’s not because I am well known, it’s because I book about five years ahead. I don’t see why so-called ‘celebrities’ should be able to just turn up and get a table though. What have they ever done apart from sell copies of Heat? Musical chairs gives power back to the people. They would beat a celebrity to a chair anyday. Okay, so they won’t be able to pay the bill, but that’s why you play musical chairs again at the end of the meal. Richard Bacon can pay it.

    3.  A Seat On The Bus/Train/Tube. It always annoys me when people don’t offer their seat to the elderly or those who look like they might be about to keel over. I’m not saying I’m perfect, there has been the odd time when I’ve made a pregnant woman have her contractions standing up, but in general I do offer up my seat. But I don’t see why it should always be me. I have as much right to sit down as the plank with his jeans round his knees. I couldn’t give a damn if he says he has to sit down otherwise they’ll be around his ankles. He should invest in a sodding belt. Or better still remain as he is.  We play musical chairs; he’ll trip over; I get a seat. Result.

    4.  The Prime Minister. I don’t know about you, but whenever I watch PMQs it always annoys me that Gordon Brown never answers the bloody question. And the same applies to Tony Blair and John Major and everyone else who has had that seat. It’s about time we found out if anyone in the House of Commons can actually give a straight answer. A game of musical chairs is the most obvious way of finding out. (We’ll go clockwise. That means Harriet Harman is our last resort).*

    5.  The Cinema. It’s not like the theatre where you pay more for the best view. In the cinema you pay £12 (well you do where I live) whether you are in the perfect position to see the whole screen or just the perfect position to gain neck ache. Let’s sort it out. Everyone gets ten seconds in each seat. Genius.

    6.  My Lounge. In fact this applies to every lounge, dining room, kitchen, conservatory and reception room I have ever had the pleasure of living in. I always end up with ‘my’ chair. It’s not ‘my’ chair per se – apart from in this house because actually all the chairs are mine – it’s just the chair I have a habit of sitting in all the time. It’s not good for the cushions. They need another person to sit differently on them. I suppose I could just say, ‘Let’s swap seats’ but I live with a girl and she’ll probably just think I am accusing her of being fat, heavy lump. Which she’s not.

    7.  The 7 Reasons Sofa. Like me, I bet you have always wondered what would happen if I Marc and I swapped positions on the 7 Reasons sofa. The answer is probably nothing exciting – though I would be tempted to uncross my legs. My foot has gone to sleep. That would actually be a very humorous reason to play musical chairs with the 7 Reasons sofa. I would probably walk around the sofa like Kevin Spacey in The Usual Suspects and Marc would amble around like the BFG. Now I have said that, perhaps we’ll just stay as we are.

    *7 Reasons has no allegiances to one party or another. I do, but 7 Reasons doesn’t.