7 Reasons

Tag: ratings

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Crossroads Is The Best Road Trip Movie Ever

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Crossroads Is The Best Road Trip Movie Ever

    It’s been a decade since the release of Britney Spears’ misunderstood road trip movie Crossroads. The film was initially derided as an awkward, contrived and cynically packaged marketing exercise, but now, finally, the critical landscape is ready to accept the truth: Crossroads is a masterpiece, and the greatest road adventure ever committed to celluloid.

    Why? Well, there are dozens of reasons, but here are the top seven…

    1.  The story. Crossroads is a both a literal and emotional journey. The plot sees three small-town friends – the shy Lucy (Britney Spears), popular Kit (Zoe Saldana), and pregnant Mimi (Taryn Manning) – travel across America so Mimi can audition for something and fulfill the dream she’s held for at least the first 12 minutes of the movie.

    But this is no shallow teenage odyssey – these girls are on a journey of self-discovery. Forget your preconceptions of Crossroads as derivative fodder for the early 2000s Myspace and MTV audience; this is an original and skilfully crafted coming-of-age chef-d’oeuvre.

    In the space of an indeterminate length of time, the three lead characters face life-changing conflict and decisions. This transforms them from girls – who don’t think about practical things like maps, accommodation, car tax or bike insurance – into almost-women of responsibility and self-determination.

    In many ways Crossroads packs a far greater emotional journey punch than, say, The Motorcycle Diaries. Ernesto Guevara is no Lucy Wagner.

    2.  The star. As Lucy Wagner, Britney Spears creates one of the most iconic female protagonists in film history.

    Her narrative arc is compelling. Dramatic. She changes from a girl who’s musically talented but shy, to a girl who’s musically talented but not quite as shy. And even though the film is partially about her sexual awakening, she maintains a thoroughly wholesome all-American-ness throughout. This is the work of a seriously amazing actor.

    In fact, Britney’s acting is mesmerising throughout the film. She does it all, acting sad, happy, conflicted; no emotion is beyond her acting range. Her lack of acting employment since Crossroads just goes to show that she acted so well in 2002 she has nothing left to prove.

    3.  The Themes. While the casual viewer might see only facile fun and friction, Crossroads is really about the things that matter. Things that matter to young people. Things like love. And friendship. And there’s stuff about date rape and teen pregnancy too, which in no way feel like token issues lazily shoehorned in to engineer credibility by association. It’s deep.

    And it gets deeper. Road trips movies are about vehicles, and Crossroads is both a road trip movie and a vehicle; it’s a star vehicle – showcasing Britney’s acting talent – and it’s a vicarious vehicle, transporting us through the kind of intelligent and seminal cinematic adventure that comes along maybe once in a generation.

    Even the movie’s title, Crossroads, is a reference to the metaphorical crossroads encountered by its characters.

    Basically, this is a movie that works on every possible thematic level.

    7 Reasons Crossroads Is The Best Road Movie Ever

    4.  The Cameos. While this vehicle is driven by the star quality of Britney Spears, Crossroads has several excellent supporting performances. Lovable dork Justin Long has a close-but-no-cigar bedroom scene, playing a desperate nerd trying to lose his virginity with a partially-clothed and smokin’ Britney. The scene is incredibly plausible.

    Sex and the City’s Kim Cattrall plays against type as a vacuous, materialistic narcissist. In her role as Brit’s mother, Cattrall enjoys some of the most authentic-sounding dialogue of the film. Her performance is veritably the opposite of stilted and awkward.

    Best of all, Dan Aykroyd plays Brit’s father Pete. Some people say Dan Aykroyd hasn’t done anything decent since Ghostbusters. They say he doesn’t care anymore. But Crossroads is proof that argument just isn’t true. There’s no way he phoned this one in. No way.

    5.  The Poetry. One of the best scenes in the movie comes when Britney recites a poem from her notebook by the campfire. Brit informs us she’s Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman by reading aloud lines like, “I used to think I had the answers to everything, but now I know that life doesn’t always go my way.”

    It’s a stunningly eloquent and insightful exploration of complicated teenage emotions. In just one minute of screentime, Britney simultaneously lends a lyrical complexity and high-brow gravitas to the already nuanced film, and establishes herself as the feminine voice of her generation.

    If there can be any criticism of Crossroads – which is difficult because it’s pretty much perfect – it’s that there should be more poetry.

    7 Reasons Crossroads Is The Best Road Trip Movie Ever

    6.  The Dreamboat. The professionally handsome man-actor Anson Mount plays Ben – Britney’s on-screen love interest. Ben is a dream. A hunk. He’s a good-looking rebel playing by his own rules. At one point he smoulders so hard he threatens to reduce vulnerable Britney to a puddle of yearning oestrogen.

    Anson’s completely believable chemistry with Brit is momentarily jeopardised when one of the girls admits he’s a criminal; maybe even… a killer. Yes. I know. Edgy.

    But it turns out Ben was actually arrested on a technicality – for crossing the border with his step sister to escape their abusive father. Making him the most selfless and noble criminal of all-time. And even hotter. And probably one of the best-written characters ever.

    7.  The Music. It’s actually impossible to imagine how Crossroads has only achieved a score of 3/10 on IMDb when you see the incredible karaoke scene in the movie. Picture this: Mimi tries to sing, but is useless. So Britney steps in. To begin with, she’s very shy and isn’t particularly good. People heckle. They heckle Britney!

    But they don’t know what’s coming. None of us could. Suddenly – and this is so unexpected, it blew me away – it turns out that underneath all the shyness and awkwardness Lucy/Britney is actually amazing at singing. Amazing. She’s a natural. She sings ‘I Love Rock’n’Roll’. And people love it. They can’t believe how wrong they were!

    With ‘head fakes’ like this, it’s possible that Crossroads isn’t only the most underrated road trip film ever, but the most underrated film. Of all time.

    About the author: Andrew Tipp is a writer, blogger and editor. He is a full-time digital scribbler and part-time appreciator of Britney Spears. He has worked as a travel editor for gapyear.com, but watching Crossroads was his greatest adventure. In his spare time he eats bacon.

  • 7 Reasons That The New Duvet Is Awful

    7 Reasons That The New Duvet Is Awful

    At 7 Reasons (.org) we like to think of ourselves as lifestyle writers; authors of a self-help guide to modern living.  But occasionally, something so calamitous occurs in one of our personal lives that we can think of nothing other than that event and are compelled to write about it, even though we’d rather be thinking and writing about something (anything) else.  Such an event has occurred.  In the past week, my wife purchased a new duvet.  It is one of the worst things that could have happened.  Here are 7 reasons why.

    A white duvet curled up like a snail

    1.  Light.  It’s dark under the new duvet.  Whether it’s actually dark or not.  It’s so dark that the exterior of the duvet could be next to the sun, or next to something as dark as the sun is light (the unsun?  The un? ).  It wouldn’t matter.  Because underneath the duvet, it is always pitch black: Unless I was to take a torch under there.  Though possibly even then.  There is nothing darker than being under the duvet, except for being inside Piers Morgan’s soul wearing a black hat, a bin liner and a pair of sunglasses. Though how you would find yourself in such a situation, I don’t know.  It would be quite unfortunate.

    2.  Weight.  The duvet is heavy.  It’s heavier than…well…everything; and it’s definitely the heaviest thing I’ve ever been pinned to a bed by.  It’s like an enormous weight is pressing down on me all the time I’m beneath it (which may be slimming, who knows?).  When I tried to complain, what I said came out as gibberish because of the heavy weight pressing down on my face.  But that didn’t matter, because…

    3.  Under The Duvet, No One Can Hear You Scream.  There is no sound under the duvet.  This is bad, as I like to listen to the radio while in bed – it prevents me from thinking, which is what usually gets me into trouble, so it’s quite essential – but the moment I put my head under the duvet, all sound stops.  All of it.  Which would be handy if I were in a room with James Blunt, but I’m not, I’m trapped in a room with my own thoughts.  Which is much like being back in Piers Morgan’s soul again but I can wear what I like and there’s tiramisu.

    4.  Heat.  It’s hot under the duvet.  Hotter than anything.  I have no idea exactly how many togs the thing contains, but I know this: Togs are hot, and the new duvet has bloody loads of them.  I have actually broken into a sweat just by lying under the thing, not moving, in a cold, draughty house in the winter, when the temperature outside was -13.  It was then that I decided the remedy to my overheating would be to lift the duvet to let some air underneath.

    5.  AAaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhh!!!!! And that turned out to be a sensation like being punched in the solar-plexus by an angry ‘roid-enhanced snowman.  Twice.  It turns out that there was at least a thirty degree difference between the temperature in the room and the micro-climate beneath the duvet.  Still, at least my screams didn’t wake my wife, as my head was beneath the duvet and her head was above it, so she couldn’t hear them.

    6.  Time.  Under the duvet, you have no inkling of what time it is.  None, whatsoever.  There’s just no way of telling.  I can’t hear the radio, and there’s no way of telling that it’s time to get up (alarms, bin-men, toasters, a hungry cat etc), nor is there any daylight  or any climactic indicators (it’s just always the temperature of boiling stuff).  I could take a timepiece with me, but who wants to roll over on a clock in the bed, or get the bracelet of their watch caught in their hair and have to cut it loose?  I don’t want to make that mistake again, thank you very much.  Because doing that for a third time would make me look foolish.

    7.  Air.  It is impossible to breathe under the duvet, which is a shame, as it’s something of a hobby of mine.  No air penetrates the dense, heavy material that the duvet is constructed from (some sort of downy molten concrete?) and all air that was originally there is forced out by the sheer weight of the thing pressing down on the bed.  I’m not sure if this lack of air counts as a vacuum, but the new duvet certainly sucks.*

    *7 Reasons (.org) will return tomorrow but may not be back the following day as I may die a hideous death under the duvet of doom.