7 Reasons

Tag: Paralympics

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Get, Be Or Stay Fat in 2012

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Get, Be Or Stay Fat in 2012

    In 2012 we have seen the London Olympic and Paralympic Games light up the World’s enthusiasm for sport and fitness. And, if you’re a bit on the tubby side, you might a bit jealous of all your friends joining up to local sports clubs and teams. Fear not though, help is at hand.

    7 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Get, Be Or Stay Fat In 2012

    Being overweight, or the new politically friendly term ‘obese’, has never been such a pain in the arse. A shorter life expectancy and a greater risk of a heart attack are the worst of your problems. In a world where we are constantly consuming to feel content, I give you 7 reasons why you shouldn’t get fat, be fat or stay fat in 2012:

    1.  You can’t fit on roller coasters. Everyone loves a day out at the sea side or theme park. Well, stricter regulations on theme park rides mean that weight and high limitations, if broken, can resort in some hefty fines and penalties. You don’t want to be the one not able to fit your arse in the seat, hold up the roller coaster or be the reason why your favourite ride has stopped working do you?

    2.  You miss out on sports. If you can’t run then you can’t play many sports. That means a kick around in the park after work on a Tuesday is out of the question – unless you want to stand around in goal doing jack all of course? Missing out on sport means you miss out on social interaction with your friends, colleagues or family. Taking part in sports and creating memories is priceless. Sitting down on a park bench and watching is sad and depressing.

    3.  You can’t wear and use… The problem with being fat is that you can’t wear or use everything you want to; you may have fat fingers that stop you using an iPhone for example. Some clothes and underpants need to avoided at all costs! If you are a larger lady then you should avoid wearing revealing cloths and underwear, only your partner wants to see that. So, please, keep it in the bedroom.

    4.  You are not flexible. The thing about being fat is that you are just not flexible, bending over take years and walking anywhere is impossible. Sex is usually only in one of two positions and once those joints start going you are screwed for life (not literally). One final thought, have you ever seen a fat person doing yoga?

    5.  Dieting can be boring. When you have been used to eating MacDonald’s and chips for the best part of a decade, going on a diet can be one of the hardest things an overweight person can do. Salads will never fully satisfy your cravings and cutting out carbs is unimaginable. Frightening even. The thing about being at a happy weight is that you can enjoy the finer foods in life, like a takeaway pizza once a week and a bacon sandwich to help that Sunday morning hangover.

    6.  Drinking sucks. The more pounds you have, the harder it can be to get…you know, loosened up. That means drinking becomes more expensive. The bad thing about being overweight on a night out with the lads or ladies is that you may usually be the only one skint and sober, while everyone else is having all the fun. And the good thing for them is they won’t remember when they went all camp on you when the DJ stuck YMCA on. You, definitely will.

    7.  You will be paranoid. If you are not happy with the way you look then other people are going to notice, your confidence will be low. You will start to wear baggy clothes and change the way you look and how you do things. All these things are noticeable and potentially unavoidable when you put on weight. You won’t want to see yourself in any photos and that means a whole lot of untagging on Facebook. Eventually it’ll be easier to stay in every night. And get the takeaway menus out again…

    This post was created by a skinny boy on behalf of Powerhouse Fitness a leading online retailer in gym equipment and sport nutrition.

  • 7 Reasons You Are Wrong Not To Love The 2012 Olympic Mascots

    7 Reasons You Are Wrong Not To Love The 2012 Olympic Mascots

    Wenlock & Mandeville Olympic Mascots

    1.  Equality. Wenlock (he’s on the right) and Mandeville belong to a young boy and a young girl. Though for quite a while I thought the young girl was also a young boy. But this has clearly been done on purpose to show solidarity behind those athletes who are still deciding whether they should enter the Olympics as a man or a woman. Caster Semenya for example.*

    2.  Billy Crystal. Okay, not Billy Crystal per se, but the animated character he voiced in Monsters Inc. Mike Wazowski. He was a one-eyed monster and, at first, children were terrified of him. They had nightmares and all sorts. But eventually they got round to liking him. Loving him even. And that is what will happen to Wenlock and Mandeville. They may terrify you now, but come 2012 you’ll be making your own Wenlock outfits.

    3.  The Future. While we are on that point. This is 2010. The Olympics aren’t for another two years. Who knows what might happen in the next 798 days? We may get visited by Wenlock and Mandeville look-alikes from somewhere else in this universe. They might turn up and fix the whole global warming thing. And the economy thing. And mend your bike puncture. If that happens you can’t possibly tell me you won’t be happy. You can’t possibly tell me you won’t be immediate fans of Hemlock and Manderlay. So let’s have a little perspective please people.

    4.  Home Life. The boy and girl live with their grandparents. I don’t know why, but I am guessing that this is because, maybe, Mummy and Daddy have gone away for a while. Possibly to prison. Or maybe they were investigating volcanic activity in Iceland a few weeks ago. Either way, their Grandpa George does something very sweet for his grandchildren. He whacks a bit of steel into some quite funky shapes. The children are delighted. Yet all you can do is complain. Why can’t you be happy for them you heartless bunch?

    5.  The Beaver. Which would you prefer? Wenlock and Mandeville or Amik The Beaver from the 1976 Montreal Games? I for one am thankful our designers are no longer inspired by roadkill.

    Montreal Olympic Games Mascot 1976

    6.  Security. Let’s not pretend that some nasty people aren’t going to think about doing something bad during the games. If we have a load of one-eyed freaks guarding the stadia, I strongly suspect that they may think twice. Especially as I have heard that Wenlock v1.2 will has a laser beam that he can fire from his eye.

    7.  The Film. Still don’t like them? Still think we should have had a cuddly lion? Well, watch the film. It’s beautifully made, beautifully told, beautifully funny and beautifully optimistic. You beauty.

    *I admit this is in very bad taste. I am even a little bit ashamed of writing it. But I really was struggling for reasons. You understand. All complaints should be addressed to Marc Fearns.