7 Reasons

Tag: Nature

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In South Africa

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Holiday In South Africa

    The nights are drawing in. The temperature is dropping. There is resentment in the air. Summer never arrived. As a result throngs of disgruntled Brits are marching on Heathrow. Destination holiday. But with so many countries to choose from, where do you buy a ticket to? Today Craig Patterson puts his humorous case forward for South Africa.

    7 Reasons To Holiday In South Africa

    South Africa is a pretty amazing place; a country nicknamed the ‘Rainbow nation’ for its incredible cultural diversity and eclectic geography (as opposed to any parallels with the long running British children’s TV show featuring Geoffrey Hayes and a cast of rather off-beat puppet companions Zippy, Bungle and for some reason a camp hippo called George). South Africa is a vibrant and beautiful place that promises one of the most memorable and truly privileging experiences in the world. So let’s take a closer look at the seven reasons that make South Africa holidays so good.

    1.  ‘Damn Nature, You Scary!’ South Africa is home to some of the most iconic wildlife on the planet and nowhere else in Africa are you more likely to see the famous ‘Big Five’; like the fab four but considerably more toothy and considerably less Liverpudlian these were the animals once considered by colonial hunters as the most dangerous on the continent: lions, leopards, rhinos, elephants and Chuck Norris…I mean buffaloes. The Kruger National Park in the North East of the country is widely regarded as one of the richest and most diverse game reserves in all of Africa boasting an abundance of wildlife, and even the occasional hippo; although I can’t promise they will be either as camp or as pink as George. Safari holidays are becoming more and more popular and a break to South Africa promises a truly exhilarating experience.

    2.  Language And Time. Okay, so it might take an eleven and a half hour flight to get there but let’s face it, that’s just like watching all three extended editions of the Lord of the Rings films back to back; peace of cake. One great thing about travelling to South Africa for Western European tourists in particular is that it’s almost entirely down hill and by that I mean you fly on essentially the same longitude the whole way; so despite jumping on a rather lengthy flight you will still arrive in Cape Town or Johannesburg only 1 or 2 hours ahead of GMT. Cash back! Also thanks to a lengthy colonial occupation a vast majority of South Africans speak English, which perhaps unfortunately for some renders ineffectual that old British holiday-making ritual of trying to make other nationalities comprehend you by pointing at something and then saying it louder and slower again in English. This also presents a great opportunity to perfect your beloved South African accent; the one that everyone says sounds Russian but you know is spot on.

    3.  The Weather’s Great…Usually. The weather in South Africa is quite similar to the climate in Britain in the same way that Blue Nun is quite similar to Dom Perignon. The country actually promises pleasant conditions throughout the year although there is a discernible seasonal shift around September and April. Thanks to the wizardry of astrophysics and the orbital tilt of the planet’s axis as a country in the Southern Hemisphere South Africa experiences apposite seasonal changes to its hemispherical counterparts ‘up north’ meaning that when it is British winter it is in fact South African summer. Not only does this assert the country as a great winter warmer destination, but the cooler drier period from June to September is actually the best time for game viewing and perfectly timed for a jolly summer holiday. All of this said South Africa is prone to its occasional climatic clanger and only as recently as this year many residents in the Eastern Cape awoke to a blanket of thick snow, maybe not so different eh?

    4.  Malaria Free. Unlike most other destinations in Southern Africa, South Africa is almost entirely malaria free with only the very north-eastern reaches moderately at risk. A lot of people presume that when they travel to South Africa they will have to prescribe to a cocktail of pills and drugs that Keith Richards would be proud of, but thanks to the geographical location of the country travellers and perhaps young children in particular needn’t worry about the effects of those infamous and much belied bloodsuckers, no not the HMRC, mosquitoes.

    5.  Nelson Says So. The Granddad that everyone wishes they had, Nelson Mandela, is an icon, not only in South Africa but across the globe. The former president was notoriously imprisoned for over 27 years for his role in the anti apartheid movement much of which he spent on Robben Island. To trace the history and evolution of modern South Africa is a wonderful thing and there are many museums and exhibits dedicated to the country’s colourful and undeniably tumultuous past. Mandela still epitomises the hope and spirit shared by millions of South Africans for a bright and fruitful future. He also looks just like Morgan Freeman who incidentally played him in 2009 biopic, Invictus – a little pub ammo for you.

    6.  Cape Town. Cape Town is a pretty hip and happening place and is the most visited destination within the most visited country in Africa. Originally established by the Dutch who stopped by for a smoke and a pancake in the mid 17th century and decided to stay, today Cape Town is a busy metropolis, although interestingly not the outright capital as South Africa actually has three – make up your minds guys. With such famous sights as the V&A waterfront, Table Mountain and the nearby Cape of Good Hope as well as a plethora (great word, just rolls off the tongue) of boutique shops restaurants and bars there will be something to keep everyone entertained.

    7.  Affordable. You might think that a holiday to South Africa would cost you an arm and a leg (I suppose it might depending upon how close you get to the lions) but in fact you don’t have to be the CEO of De Beers to afford even a relatively luxurious trip. The incredible variety of experiences on offer in South Africa means that whatever budget you have to work with you can still see the best of this country. OK, so you’re understandably going to have to fork out more than you would for a long weekend in Whitby but in a time when the purse strings are even tighter than usual you can still enjoy an ‘exotic’ break at a competitive price.

  • 7 Reasons to get a Cross-Eyed Opossum

    7 Reasons to get a Cross-Eyed Opossum

    This, as I’m sure you already know, is Heidi the cross-eyed opossum, a resident of Leipzig Zoo.  Now that you’ve seen her, you’ll want one of your own.  And a cross-eyed opossum would make a great pet.  Here’s why.

    Heidi the cross-eyed opossum

    1.  It’s The Cutest Thing In The World.  Just look at the pictures.  Have you ever seen a cuter animal?  No, of course you haven’t.  Even Bambi on ice nuzzling a baby hedgehog that’s wrapped in a cashmere blanket and sucking its thumb isn’t this cute.

    2.  Attract The Opposite Sex.  Men: Get an opossum.  Women like cute things.  Women like things with personality.  Women like quirky and interesting things.  And now they’ve seen it, women like this opossum.  I may be generalising here, but I can’t think of any woman who wouldn’t be charmed by a cross-eyed opossum.*

    3.  Attract The Opposite Sex***.  Women: Get an opossum.  I know that men are supposed to like cars and guns and things, and some of us do, but we aren’t immune to the charms of this opossum either, because it’s bloody amazing.  No man is hard-hearted enough that he doesn’t find this opossum cute.  Even Hitler would love it if he weren’t dead.  If you’re looking to attract men, get this opossum.  And some beer.

    4.  Ready-Made.  Part of the allure of Heidi the cross-eyed opossum comes from the fact that she is cross-eyed.  Once we’d seen her, my wife and I decided that – obviously – we wanted one.  But our cat’s an only pet, and the introduction of a strabismal rival for our attention would probably be too much for our doddery old cat.  So we decided to improve him.  I stood to his left, my wife stood to his right, and we both called him repeatedly.  Sadly, we were unable to cross his eyes.  He merely moved his head rapidly from left to right between us for a minute before sighing and falling asleep.  A cross-eyed opossum does not require a rigorous training regime to make it cute.  It comes pre-cute.

    5.  Pedantry.  Heidi the cross-eyed opossum, as you may have already spotted, is an opossum.  Not a possum; that’s a different thing predominantly found in the Southern hemisphere.  Nor is it related to the hippopossamus, which is a somewhat larger African variant which kills its prey by beguiling them with cuteness before sitting on them to death.  This makes an opossum the ideal pet for pedants who can boundlessly amuse themselves by correcting people:

    “Ah, cute possum”.

    “Opossum”.

    “I love your possum”.

    “Opossum”.

    “Your opossum is amazing”.

    “Possum…bugger.”

    6.  Love.  You’ll always feel loved by your cross-eyed opossum.  Because when you’re conventionally-eyed pet is sulking, it won’t look at you.  But when your cross-eyed opossum is sulking, it will appear to be looking at you, even when it’s looking at something else.  Food probably, or your shoe.****

    7.  The Name.  Steve Jobs says that putting a vowel in front of the names of things is cool, so it must be, and the opossum has a seemingly superfluous vowel at the front.  This makes the name opossum cool and increases the product…er…creature’s desirability.  Now the opossum was named many centuries ago, but if I didn’t know that I’d sense that it was some sort of Apple marketing ploy.  But then I see the hand of Jobs in everything.  Anyway, the name is cool.

    *If you are a woman (and let’s face it, some of us are) and you don’t like the cross-eyed opossum please let us know via the comments section.**

    **And a mob will arrive at your door within hours and burn you at the stake, you stone-hearted harridan.

    ***Or the same sex.  The cross-eyed opossum attracts everything.

    ****All pets do weird things to your shoes; never leave them unattended.

    Want to see more pictures?  Of course you do.

    Heidi the cross-eyed opossum

    Heidi the cross-eyed opossum

    Heidi the cross-eyed opossum

    Heidi the cross-eyed opossum

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Make Sure You Renew Your Car Insurance

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Make Sure You Renew Your Car Insurance

    Another Saturday dawns and as it does a new writer appears on the 7 Reasons sofa. This week we welcome Chris Owens, who is probably just about the finest member of the Car Insurance team at MoneySupermarket.Com – the UK’s leading price comparison website. Right, that’s two sentences more than I should be writing on a Saturday, so without further deviation, I’ll hand you over to Chris.

    Auto ©mxlanderos

    I’m guessing most of you think you’re a reasonable enough driver – you’re pretty safe, tend to stick to the speed limit (most of the time), and have never had to make a claim in your life. But at the same time you’re sharing a road with a whole host of motoring mavericks and disaster-prone drivers that are a simply a car crash waiting to happen. Here are seven of the craziest (but true) car insurance claims ever made – and 7 Reasons you need to make sure you’re always covered:

    1.  Cars And Snow Aren’t A Good Combination. One cool customer thought it’d be easier and safer to take a taxi rather than risk venturing out on their own in heavy snowfall. Unfortunately, the clumsy cabbie skidded straight into the back of their parked car when he came to pick up his passenger.

    2.  Drivers Have Terrible Judgement. Anticipating traffic speed and giving yourself plenty of time to react are two of the first lessons you learn when you first start driving. It’s a shame that one unlucky bloke forgot these golden rules and caused a multi-car pile up because, in his own words, “I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought”.

    3.  Buses Aren’t Reliable. You’ve pulled out of your driveway and set off for work first thing in the morning when you slam into the back of a bus picking up passengers. What’s your excuse, apart from you weren’t paying enough attention to the road? How about, “It’s not my fault, the bus is five minutes early” – strangely enough this motorist’s insurers didn’t see the funny side!

    4.  A Call Of Nature Can Cause Chaos. A driver was caught short and had to stop at the side of the road to relieve himself behind a row of bushes. When he had done his ‘business’, he returned only to find his car had gone. Just as he was telephoning the police to report the missing vehicle, he noticed some familiar looking tyre tracks heading down a hill. After running all the way down to the bottom of a grass bank, he found his car flipped on its roof and in need of some emergency repairs… someone had forgotten to put the handbrake on.

    5.  Life Is Full Of Tree-mendous Surprises. Many of us drive the same routes over and over again, so it’s no surprise we think we know our way home like the back of our hand. Sadly for one daydreaming driver, he reversed into the wrong house and crashed into what he charmingly described as, “a tree I don’t have”.

    6.  The Simple Law Of Gravity. It’s not too uncommon to see crazy pictures of cars crashing through the front window of a house, but what about when the roles are reversed? A house was being moved on a large lorry when it toppled over and fell off, straight onto the top a parked car. Only when the moving company finally owned up to its embarrassing mistake did the disbelieving insurance company actually pay up.

    7.  If All Else Fails, People Will Blame Absolutely Anything. And last but certainly not least, the black arts were the probable reason for an accident for one imaginative driver, who simply filled out an insurance claim form with the words: “Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably voodoo.”