Tag: Logic

7 Reasons Your Business Should Use Energy Comparison Websites

With energy prices set to soar yet again, more and more businesses are starting to take the decisions they make about their energy supplier far more seriously. Long gone are the days when you’d just sign on the dotted line and agree to any rate as long as you had power to the PCs. These days businesses really are looking for the best deals. Using energy comparison websites such as uSwitch for Business can help you do just that. Here’s why:

1. Apathy. Be honest, the thought of choosing an energy supplier doesn’t exactly get you hyperventilating with excitement does it? When it comes to running a business it’s very much a chore. A chore you’ll probably get one of your colleagues to deal with. The problem is – and we hate to be the ones to break it to you – your colleague is far more interested in playing with the new app on their smartphone than talking with energy suppliers. As a result you’ll get a knock on the office door at 4.59pm and the message, “I can’t find any better deals than the one we’ve got.” Of course they couldn’t. They didn’t even look. It would have taken minutes on uSwitch for Business.

2. Logic. If your company was going to buy a new car, printer, water cooler or bottle of milk, you’d look around for the best price. Well, maybe not for the milk – you’d probably break the petty cash piggy bank for that – but for the more outlandish investments definitely. Unfortunately, energy prices now fall into that outlandish category. As a result, it’s time to treat them as you would that new vehicle. It’s common sense really. And all good businesses are built on a foundation of common sense aren’t they?

3. Impartiality. Let’s spoil a myth. If you phone up energy supplier A it’s highly unlikely they’re going to tell you to give B a call. Similarly, B aren’t going to suggest you contact C. Sad as it may seem, A, B and C all want your money and will do their best to convince you that they are the best. To discover which two are being economical with the truth, use a comparison website like uSwitch for Business. They aren’t interested in which supplier you go with, they are interested in making sure you get the best deal. (Incidentally, there aren’t energy suppliers called A, B and C, so don’t bother searching for them. We were just being impartial).

4. Jargonbusting. With so may tariffs and rates and rules and regulations, working out which supplier you should go with is a bit of a nightmare. Just understanding half the spiel is complicated enough. Who knows, perhaps they write things in such a way that you’re meant to get confused and bored before the end of the second paragraph. Perhaps that’s their best chance of getting you to sign. It’s good to know then that you’ve got someone like uSwitch for Business who will cut through all that nonsense and tell you, simply – in English, not gibberish – who will give you the best deal.

5. Cost. This is probably what you’re most interested in isn’t it? The good news is there is money to be saved here. So before you automatically renew your contract, take a look around. Use uSwitch for Business and see how much they can save you. It could be as much as 70%. That’s a massive saving on a packet of doughnuts, let alone on your energy bills.

6. Time. It’s an old saying and it’s probably become something of a cliché now, but that’s not to say it isn’t true. Time is money. If you have the time to speak to dozens of different energy suppliers, find out what they have to offer and then do your own comparison, then either your company is leading the way out of the economic gloom or you’re doing it wrong. The chances are your company doesn’t have the time to sit down for a day and analyse who you should go with and why. You’re far too busy doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Or planning the Christmas party. That’s why comparing gas and electricity for business on comparison websites is an absolute time saver. And time is money.

7. Gimmick Free Zone. Which bank would you choose – the bank that can get you the best rates or the bank that has the radio station or the water-slide? One would hope, for your sake, that it’s the former. Deciding which energy supplier to go with is exactly the same. No one is interested in the fact that supplier A can get you 20% off at the local spa, nor are they interested that B can get you 10% off your mobile contracts if you switch from that network to that one within 30 days of signing a contract. All businesses want to know is who is the best energy supplier for their needs. And that’s exactly what energy comparison websites such as uSwitch will tell you.

October 29, 2011
7 Reasons The Samoans Really Haven’t Thought This Through

If you read the Weird & Wonderful section of the BBC website you may well have seen that Samoa is to set to jump forward by one day. You may also know this if you are Samoan. And live in Samoa. If you don’t, you need to read this next bit very carefully. At midnight on 28th December 2011 – Samoan time – it won’t be 28th December 2011. It will actually be midnight on 29th December 2011. The Prime Minister, Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi, says the twenty-four hour leap to the west side of the international data line will be good for the economy. It will enable them to do more business with Australia and New Zealand. But have they really thought it through? Our investigations show they may want to rethink.

Samoa Wants To Move To The Left Of The Dotted Line

1. 28th December 2011. That’s a Wednesday! Wednesday is a business day. Surely logic would have said jump forward in time at a weekend. Lose a Saturday or a Sunday. Not a Wednesday!

2. Tourism. Unsurprisingly, what with it being a small island with beautiful beaches, Samoa is a popular holiday destination for people like to lie around doing nothing while getting sunburnt. As a result the tourist industry is a major part of the Samoan economy. The problem is that went people book a ten day holiday they expect ten days. They don’t expect nine days. But that’s exactly what would happen if you go to Samoa for Christmas and New Year. Which is why you won’t. No one will. At the end of this year Samoa will be completely free of tourists. The Samoan economy will shudder to a worrying halt.

3. Natives. What happens if they have a birthday on 28th December? They are either going to stay in Samoa and not have a birthday which means no money being spent on presents, cake, balloons and Pin The Tail On The Donkey kits. Or they are going to go away to celebrate which means money will be spent on presents, cake, balloons, and Pin The Tail On The Donkey kits in Sydney. Either way, Samoa’s economy loses.

4. Productivity. So, without a 28th December, Samoa will be faced with a four day week. Only they won’t because the 26th and 27th are public holidays. So they’ll have a two day week. Thanks to the foresight of Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi, Samoans are going to have to cram five days work into just two. It’s not going to happen. I guarantee you now that the entire Somoan workforce will be on strike on the 29th and 30th December. So basically, from 23rd December until 3rd January, nothing is going to happen in Samoa. Hardly the sort of attitude that is going to inspire New Zealand and Australia based companies to work with them is it?

5. Pressure. At the moment Samoa is the last place to see daylight. The pressure is off them really. Everyone else has done that day and are now either chilling, sleeping or preparing for a the next day. Samoans can pretty much do what they want safe in the knowledge that no one is watching. Come 2012 though, they are going to be leading the world into every new day. They have the responsibility to get us off to a good start. If they have a bad one, so do the rest of us. That is a lot of pressure and a lot of change. Really, they should have had a trial period first. Perhaps moving Samoa to just West of Ireland. This way they’d have experienced some pressure, but not potentially economy damaging pressure.

6. The Americas. Samoa’s argument is that the majority of their business ties are with Australia and New Zealand and so by advancing by a day they get to work with them for five days instead of just three*. That’s putting an awful lot of eggs in just two baskets. There are thirty-five ~~countries~~ baskets in The Americas. Some baskets, like the basket of the USA, are so big that they contain sub-baskets. There’s a basket for New York. A basket for Chicago. A basket for Los Angeles. In other words, there is opportunity. If a Samoan finds a basket is full, well he can move on to another. This time-travelling is not only going to reduce the size of these America based baskets, but some will disappear all together.** Lots of Samoans will be looking to transfer their eggs to the baskets of New Zealand and Australia. And while these baskets are going to be slightly bigger, there are going to be a whole lot more eggs in them. And when you have too many eggs in a basket that leads to cracking. And, eventually, egg white saturation.

7. Warranties. Let’s say, hypothetically speaking, I purchased a freeview box in Apia on 29th December 2010. The warranty runs out on 28th December 2011. What happens if it breaks down on 28th December? A date that doesn’t exist. I foresee a lot of correspondence going back and forth. That’s a whole lot of stamps. And a whole lot of expense. It alarms me that Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi has made the decision without even contemplating such eventualities. And let me assure you, by hook or by crook I will get my hands on a Samoan freeview box and I will be following this up. All for the love of reasoning.

*At present, when it’s Monday in New Zealand and Australia, it’s Sunday in Samoa. And when it’s Friday in Samoa, it’s Saturday in New Zealand and Australia.

**When it’s Monday in Samoa it will be Sunday in The Americas and when it’s Friday in the Americas it will be Saturday in Samoa.

May 10, 2011
7 Reasons Seven Different Teams Won The 2011 Cricket World Cup

Well, that’s it. The Cricket World Cup is over for another four years. And what a World Cup it was. Some incredible performances from some incredible teams producing some incredible results. Or, if you were watching from where I was, rather tiresome once it had entered week 23. The good news is, England won! (Along with India.) (And a few others.)

1. India. The history books will show that it was the once fully-haired Mahendra Singh Dhoni who lifted the cup for one of the host nations. Given that they won the final I suppose there is an argument that they should be declared victors in their own right. But if we do that, aren’t we forgetting the other winners?

2. South Africa. They beat India – the winners – in the group stage. Surely if you beat the winners that makes you the winners?

3. England. They beat the winners of the match against the winners. Surely if you beat the winners of the match against the winners that makes you the winners?

4. Ireland. Ironically, the only people who can’t remember Kevin O’Brien’s incredible innings are the Irish. That’s because they were drinking from 9am. So, in case you have forgotten, let me remind you. Ireland beat England. They beat the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners. That makes them the winners then?

5. West Indies. Well, not quite. Because the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners (otherwise known as Ireland) lost to the West Indies. Which makes them the winners.

6. Pakistan. Or at least they would have been if Pakistan had not beaten the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners, in the quarter finals. And that’s exactly what Pakistan did. Unfortunately for them, this doesn’t make Pakistan the winners.

7. New Zealand. That’s because in the group stage they succumbed to lose to the Kiwis. And if you beat the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners, that means you win. Or at least it does here because we only provide seven reasons. Which is rather unfortunate for Sri Lanka given that they beat the winner of the match against the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners of the match against the winners. Mind you, they did lose to the winners. So I guess it doesn’t matter very much.

April 4, 2011
7 Reasons Reccurring Dreams Are Annoying

I had a dream last night. And the other week. And last month. And the month before that. It’s getting boring now. Annoying even.

1. Repetition. As one may have established a reccurring dream is one that happens time after time after time. I suffer with one. It’s about me, back at school or university, with an impending deadline. The problem is, I haven’t even started doing my work. The scenario usually means I have twenty-four hours to write a dissertation. As dreams go, it is rubbish. I’d be annoyed if it happened once in a year, but to have it once every couple of weeks is just plain tiresome.

2. Panic. Despite the fact that it is a dream, I can’t help but get in panic. Though it’s an odd panic. In my dream I am not panicking. Which annoys me for starters, but it’s not half as annoying as the panic I feel in the sleeping me. As if I am watching my dream from above yet I am unable to control any of my actions. I want myself to panic, in much the same way as I want England to play good football. The more I want it though, the more I seem to laugh about the situation. In much the same way as the more I want England to play good football, the more Emile Heskey touches the ball.

3. Logic. Or should that be the lack of it. In last nights dream I appeared to be less interested in getting to the library to do my work and instead was solely focused on returning the ‘Automatic Putting Device’ to its home in the shed. No, I have no idea what an ‘Automatic Putting Device’ is either. Nor why it lives in a shed. In real-life I would like to think I would question such a thing, but in my dream state it was as natural to me as scratching my armpit.

4. Meaning. What does a reccurring dream about not doing your coursework mean? It’s not as if when I was at school or university I didn’t do my work and get it in on time. Well, not often anyway. So it’s not as if I am re-living my younger days and it’s not a metaphor for my attitude today. If I don’t have any work I can hardly hand it in late can I? It’s baffling.

5. People. None of my friends or family ever appear in my reccurring dreams, which seems somewhat ironic seeing as they are the reccurring characters in my life. Instead, I end up being friends with someone from school or university who I have never been friends with in my life. That’s not to say I disliked them, we just didn’t hang around together. In my dream though, we seem to do nothing but hang around together. Hang around together not doing our coursework and taking Automatic Putting Devices to sheds. Hardly the stuff of legend.

6. Realisation. That moment when I wake up and realise it was all a dream. Again. I curse myself for being unable to dream about something more interesting. Cricket or tea or an opossum. And then I curse myself for not realising during the dream that I was dreaming. Why can’t I just recognise that I have been here before? Why can’t I wake myself up, turn over and think about Dame Edna Everage talking to her opossums? Why? Why can’t I?

7. Resentment. They say the grass is always greener on the other side. Sometimes, this is ridiculously wide of the mark, but when it comes to me and my dreams, it is as true as the existence of you and me. If there is ever a conversation about dreams, I try and avoid it. I don’t want to listen to their tales of heroism and joviality. I get jealous. Why them? Why not me? Even more frustrating is when I am asked if I had a dream. I can only describe the feeling as one of loneliness and inadequacy. And it keeps me annoyed for the rest of the day.

January 14, 2011