Ireland didn't play England at cricket yesterday, and what's more, they didn't win. The match is going ahead later on today. And today is Wednesday. All day.

The Brylcreem Batting Challenge puts you in the shoes of Kevin Pietersen and tells you to smack the ball as far as you can. It sounds like fun. And it was. Until I started getting bored and noticed how much better it could be. 1.  The Ball. It’s bloody huge. It should break KP’s bat. Does it? Of course not. In fact it can be hit as far as a giant India-based jelly. As we shall see in a minute. 2.  KP’s Neck. He hasn’t...