Cruises aren’t just for oldies with a lust for tea-dancing. Oh no. They are – believe it or not – getting cooler. And part of it is about the destinations. You don’t have to go to Malta anymore to sit on a dinky balcony and turn your skin to leather. You don’t even have to don a sparkly kaftan or a pair of Speedos to wade the waters of the Caribbean while local kids try to flog you miniature bongo drums.
So without further ado, here are seven reasons why a cruise to achingly hip South America is the thing to do:
1. You’ll see lots of boobies. Wait, now don’t get too excited. I’m talking about blue-footed boobies – a type of bird with sky blue feet which lives all over the Galapagos Islands. Choose the right time of year to go and you’ll see them doing the dance moves of their courtship dance – quite an amusing spectacle.
2. Sweat it out in the Amazon. Take a river cruise down the planet’s biggest river and you’ll really learn what it means to sweat. Even if you’re a gym regular, or a Bikram yoga fan, you’ll reach new heights of perspiration in this equatorial region. When you’re not wiping your brow, you’ll see chattering monkeys and native villages, and maybe even fish for piranhas.
3. Get the Horn. Some itineraries sail all the way under Cape Horn – the furthest south point in Chile. Early round-the-world sailors had to take this route before the Panama Canal was built. It’s pretty spectacular: glaciers, fjords, whales, penguins and condors will guide your way. Just keep an eye out for icebergs, eh?
4. Get high. Bolivian drug dens aside, there is plenty of stuff to get you high – quite literally – in South America. Choose cultural cruise which drops you off on the Peruvian coastline for an inland trip to the Lost City of Machu Picchu. Here, nearly 2,500 metres above sea level, you’ll have shortness of breath from both the altitude and the view. Chill out back at the beach with a few Pisco Sours before moving on.
5. Spy on supermodels. Ah, Brazil. Forget about feeling insecure in your frumpy on-piece and do what every other tourist does: find a prime viewing spot on Copacabana and watch the local ladies and gents play a hot and sweaty game of beach volleyball. It’s a beautiful thing. The teeny bikinis, the even smaller trunks, the toned, tanned flesh… these people really know how to look gorgeous, and they are used to being stared at.
6. Tango in Buenos Aires. The capital of Argentina is a city that keeps on giving. The locals will teach you how to stay up all night and then go straight to work for the day, and they’ll laugh it off when you ask them why the country has the highest number of psychiatrists per capita. Let them teach you to tango and you’ll be made an absolute fool of – but that’s half the fun. Knock back the red wine and get on with it. If you can get into a tangle with a luscious local, all the better!
7. Gurn at giant tortoises. The Galapagos Islands, as we’ve already seen, have such amusing animals as the blue-footed booby. But the giant tortoises take the trophy for oddest animal. These wrinkled old things staggering about the Darwin Research Centre look a lot like a bunch of retirees on an outing. Expressive and painfully slow, copy their gurning for some holiday photos you will want to frame and hang in the living room.
Article courtesy of Exsus South America
